Thought Art

I will invest in coaching, therapy, and courses….

I’ve been building this Qigong thing… and frankly I’m questioning if I want to keep pursuing it. But, then I’m left with….. what would I be working on? How do I make my own thing? Music, likely will never pay the bills. Qigong, is feels like the same. Though people have paid me, maybe it’s more a matter of marketing and scale… Maybe I need more coaching, mentors, and to move somewhere with more opportunity. The problem with my job is I can’t date, I can’t do open mic’s, I can’t do so much because I am living in a work camp. I can’t even make content. But, I can pay off debt. I am basically in debt jail. Haha…. In theory if I keep getting these contracts it’s only for 3-4 months which is a worthy sacrifice. If I was God, I wouldn’t dream this. But, apparently I am God dreaming this. It seems like a waste of time though. Life should be awesome. I have to make it awesome myself. This is just a chapter of my life. When I get back into a better position I’ll have the skills, finances and experience to make something great.

There is no job or career that I want. I want to make music, and study my Qigong/ pranayama/ mindfulness meditation etc in depth. I want to make music and do spiritual work. But, I’m a wage slave….. how do I get out of this fucking slavery? I don’t think I can do sales, I’ve tried a cold calling job in the past and it’s not for me. I have a good earning job and I don’t have to buy food or pay rent so I can put the money toward goals. …. I have a concept of a plan as Donald would say.

I have my money saving, debt paying plan and I can stick to it and rest in I’m doing something right. I have my daily personal growth goals to change the way I think, etc and I’m growing each day. Yes, I’m 30…. I don’t feel that close to achieving financial freedom, and my life purpose though yes I’ve helped thousands of people isn’t paying the bills anytime soon. This makes my self esteem struggle because I see the financial rewards of work as part of my value as a creator. My mind spends a lot of time thinking “how do I do it? How do I make my dreams work? I hate how my life is right now doing this meaningless work!” It’s torture. Then I think about some past opportunities I had and how they ended in failure. How, my own immaturity of my past sort of sabotaged me. So, what’s this next step? Get debt free, save money. Make strides to making my next album with the songs I have written….. release them, likely get ignored by the world…. Keep being a wage slave. Make more Qigong content….. keep being a wage slave…. Jt feels like nothing will change.

Anything of value is hard to achieve. Sometimes I feel very upset with my level of success in life. I want way more success.

Yes, it is. I revisit it often.

@Leo Gura Or, I am just bad at remembering my trips. Which is unfortunately the case. I struggle to recall the state, and I also am wary of any conclusions made. I've definitely experienced infinity and ego death. But, I wouldn't call that death. BUT THAT isn't like I was shot in the head and died. Well, in theory I have died an infinite amount of times. But, none I can recall.

@Leo Gura Rumi is good. I also like Abn.

@Leo Gura Right, says the dead guy. I know you have experienced altered states you consider equal to death. Infinity and all that. But, you also eat healthy because you want to live. So, it’s sneaky. You know, I’ve experienced a thing or two. But, I don’t say I’ve died. I can’t with a clear heart say that.

@Leo Gura Just die Leo. Eat rat poison. Haha jk

@Leo Gura my kind of party

Y’all out here looking for healthy food and saying Bryan is low conscious. All I am saying

Bryan Johnson sells some. All his products are third party tested for heavy metals.

Life is a whole lotta nottaaaa

@Leo Gura They show useful different perspectives

Bury me with my riches so I may enjoy the spoils.

I think of the very least not dying from poor life style habits is possible and having good health for longer. That is my interest. He helped me really think more about my sleep. I don’t want to live forever because I know the truthhhhh

They aren’t the same accounts

@Leo Gura I am recontextualizing the whole thing. Sorry for the sass big G. Looking forward to the next videooooo.

Yeah, you may make that conclusion. He didn’t. I am not even sure that’s how God’s logic works though. I mean, Bryan Johnson is God. This is his dream. He is eternal at the end of the day. I feel like he is just being born to be honest. I also think there is a spiritual mind virus on the forum. It’s sneaky.

@Natasha Tori Maru It’s not though. The studies sited clearly aren’t. I can’t respond to everything. If you really think the things he is doing won’t help populations I think that is wrong. I re-read my posts. They ain’t that emotional lol. @Leo Gura Yeah I know… “Shut up and die” was like wtf.

I don't resonate with Dave Asprey. But, I resonate with Brian Johnson. Beyond his products, his values are good. He provides free information for people to and 90% of it isn't biohacking imo. (loose %) It's common sense. Having good sleep habits isn't biohacking and seems to be central to a lot of what he teaches. I like what I like and leave the rest. I am not going to be a miniature Bryan Johnson. But, I am very interested in his contributions.

@Natasha Tori Maru Yeah, idk. I likely have some projections on Leo, etc. My mind is processing it. My initial reaction is annoyance. You can psychoanalyze it however you want. Am I putting them on a pedestal? Well, perhaps because they are teachers and influences in my life. I generally don't like rudeness, or crass behavour toward people I respect. So, when it comes from someone I see as a leader I get annoyed and share my perspective as I have done. No, you are wrong on the N = 1 thing. That would be true if he was just doing it by himself. But, he isn't. He is leading his own movement influencing 100s of thousands if not millions to sleep, eat, exercise all things which have overwhelming substantiated evidence for better health outcomes for individuals and populations. Nothing he is doing is N = 1 in totality because it's based on research. At the end of the day, N =1 is the only way your health actually works which is the trick to health. That is why he measures himself, and suggest other to as well. He is a leader, and I think you would be blind not to see it. His social media presence, business and brand, and embodiment of his values is leadership. and it is rare.

@Natasha Tori Maru I am unsure of what you mean at stake? I simply disagree with Leo on this at this time. I do feel some charged emotions because he is someone who made videos on integrity, wisdom, life purpose, and then he bad mouths a guy like Bryan. If what Bryan is doing... promoting health, sleep, mental health, nutrition, etc and changing culture to focus on health... is not a good life purpose.... I just don't get it. Disrespecting a leader I see lots of good in makes me angry coming from someone I respect. Is Bryan wrong is areas? Probably. Like, he and everyone will die of something. Humans die. I also suspect he is wrong about AI and doesn't see it as hype. But, I still there is a core quality, and nuggets in what he is doing I find inspiring. He is a model leader.

@Natasha Tori Maru What is contradictory about it? Do you ever do things to look the way you want to? He is open about the things he does. i don't see that as contradictory. I am neither here nor there if someone dies their hair or does aesthetic treatments.