Thought Art

@Inliytened1 Ain’t no us pal.

If this is how your first post goes… being banned is likely hahah. He doesn’t even grasp what a Holon is. If a human isn’t part of the universe…. How would it see at all? If you are part of the universe you are the universe so of course the only thing that could ever see is the universe. It’s pretty mundane but this guy comes with a lot of fire because haha, new agers. It’s funny these people demonize these Hindu new age like ways of thinking but still think it’s fine that some guy 2000 years ago was a magic super human who saved humanity even though there is 0 proof of him, or the saving. They never pause to think…. “Hmmm, what if everyone is really wrong and lost?”

I doubt it. He came here to push against ideas he thinks are false. He even shared his preferred YouTube content which you can check out. Don’t patronize the guy either. They are likely an adult with their preferred idealogy. He is likely a Christian ideologue who thinks these other world views or, states of consciousness are the devil. Banning is Leo’s choice and I don’t think actualized is in the work of converting people. People who engage require some degree of respectful openness.

This Church of Eternal Logos guy is a very serious 36 year old person, very serious about metaphysics, epistemology and philosophy and chose to become religious. He is an orthodox Christian. He has an interesting perspective on Buddhism, though I think he doesn’t understand and mischaracterizes the heart of Buddhas teachings. I think Buddhism should not be the entitery of one’s metaphysical and epistemological understanding but I wouldn’t disregard it either. The teachings of the Buddha when actually studied have profound truths. But, they are no complete teachings. So, often it’s learned along with others if done properly I think. This work is hard! Like, how can anyone do sense making with the maze of concepts people swim in? It’s so interesting. This is the work. Wow

@Inliytened1 I think it was that he was new and right out of the gate asserting a lot, show clear lack of actually study and contemplating. He went straight to asserting he knew both the material of discussion and Leo’s views on it which he didn’t. Open arrogance and disrespect. I think Leo recognizes closed minds after doing this for 10 years. When entering a new community there is an etiquette one can take to ease in, question these ideas and learn.

RIP Blog

Feeling better!

@Leo Gura infinite valllluuuueee

Schminity

Funny how mind and state work. My ambition is so huge but resources so small. So annoying.

I feel my emotions and thoughts stabilizing. Though, my challenges remain.

I’ll process….

I don’t want to be a whiner either! But, I gotta vent! The only person to blame for my life is me. And, my survival programming which I don’t choose. Maybe if my family wasn’t the way it was I’d be more successful. All that trauma and programming I got from my youth made it impossible to be successful in my teens and early 20s. It’s really a shame. If I was 15, stable home without alcoholic dad… actualized teachings that would be solid. But, God had other plans I guess. Let’s give him an unstable alcoholic dad, ADHD, then when he tries to be a musician let’s give him fucking tinnitus. WTF I have to figure out a way of seeing my life, despite it being dogshit compared to my dreams as worthwhile. I need to make it worthwhile. Tinnitus is really a dogshit fucked up thing though. Fuck tinnitus.

I went through a deep hopelessness this week. I think travelling I don’t sleep properly for 3 days. Then, starting this new job which is only for money I realized how I’ll have to endure actually doing it everyday…. I hate being a slave. Dark times, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness. Things which I feel from time to time. I lose the big picture of my dreams and how I strategically chose these jobs to solve problems. It’s just u sense I’m getting older which creates this panic of running out of time. Old age does scared me and I worry I’ll be too old before my dreams can be made real. Then, suicide is the only option because I’m not living a shithole old age wage slave life. I’m gonna keep focusing on sleep because that seems to be the thing that’s helping me bounce back. I also enjoy breathwork, Qigong, acupressure and journaling to help ground me. …. life should be profound and awesome. I don’t want a boring life tbh. I want success, creativity, and to make and share music in a meaningful way. Unfortunately, for whatever reason that isn’t guaranteed which is really stupid design. Again, solipsism and tinnitus, and how fucking hard reality is is a stupid design. I’m not saying it should be so easy to not have value but… tinnitus is a stupid feature to reality. Fuck God for tinnitus. anyway, I’m off to be a fucking wage slave.

I wish I could start over with what I know. Anyway, life doesn’t owe me anything for whatever reason. Solipsism makes no sense in that if I was solipsistic and sovereign I would create the life of my dreams. This is my gripe with these concepts and even realities. Selfishness is actually the only thing that makes sense if solipsism is true. I don’t mean evil necessarily, but to serve your highest vision for yourself. My highest vision for myself is being a profound musician. The last couple years I thought maybe that wasn’t the case but here it is. It’s really the only thing I want but I feel like there is so much in the way of that dream. Sure, could I enjoy life as a mediocre person? Yeah, But, I just don’t see the point. You might as well have born me as a donkey or a duck or something then. Getting up, being a slave and taking a shit before bed…. Why let me dream? I am putting the work and investments into music now. I’m cutting out distractions. However, I have to work, and my financial plan involves me working remotely which makes practicing and socializing right now impossible. But, it helps me get out of debt and save money which is important. This way I am able to earn and save well beyond what is possible in a city with insane living expenses. I don’t have to pay rent or food and I make more than double what I did with my education The truth is this chapter is not what I would like at 30. My 20s resulted in lots of lessons, failures and experiences that are valuable. But, they don’t result in a profound success. I would like to be better off at 30. In my 20s I played some festivals, made music videos and touched people’s hearts with music. I sold my first Qigong coaching program, and thousands of people have followed my Qigong routines. But, I’m still a wage slave. Still in debt. And I hate that.