Lento

@Scholar Leo can't teach a donkey. (Read my other post above).

The teachings are only advanced as the student is. At some point, you will not need a teacher anymore because you will become your own teacher. Leo is not a fool, he knows how to market his goods. And what are his goods but the variety of his experiences? Ask yourself: what value can mystical experiences add to my life?

What other choice does God have?

Sooo.. 2019 is about to end, and it's time for a review. I've never done this before, and I'm excited about it. 2019 has been a very, very long year for me, probably the longest I've ever lived. Of course, I mean the events that occurred and the depth of experience I had. This SOB year had everything. It started with an ego-death, and ended with an "ego-life", even though credit goes to 2018 for the ego-death. I've finally learned the true law of attraction and how it actually works. Now, I only attract positives, and I can turn every loss into a win. It's just amazing how perspective changes everything. There's a lot to say about 2019, I'll put it in a list. The highlights of 2019; I've finally got a clear and full understanding of reality. There's nothing more to be understood. Yet, learning is a never-ending process. One of my favourite paradoxes. Consciousness is not everything, that's a lie, or rather a pointer. God is the absolute truth, and it includes consciousness and unconsciousness. Consciousness and unconsciousness are the same thing, God. The difference is that consciousness is a slower form of unconsciousness. It's just that simple. When you're conscious, you're an angel. When you're unconscious, you're a devil. When you're conscious, you're growing according to God's will. When you're unconscious, you're spreading like a cancer, causing harm to yourself and others. There's a fine balance there, and I'm aiming for it. The best money I've spent this year was the money I spent for saving my life from going down to hell. It happened earlier this year, and I don't want to talk about it in public. Still, there's also the money I spent on the gym signing-up. I could never describe how grateful I am for it. It was the point I've finally proved to myself that I can take action when it's necessary, which brings to mind another point. I've learned when it's time to take action, and when it's time to step aside and observe. Observing, researching, studying, etc... all is great when properly managed along with taking action. There's a balance here, and I kind of have mastered it. This also reminds me of one other point. I've learned to act in certain situations without thinking. Thinking can become a really tough obstacle a lot of times, and it's often supplied by fear. I've learned to face my fears with a simple technique. Just do it. I've worked on unravelling my scarcity mindset, and I am still working on it. I've found some benefits, but I still have my doubts about it because I also have found some negative results, such as clinging and a feeling of emptiness. My favourite word of the year is BULLSHIT ? it was nominated alongside some other words, but it deserves the title. You know, because this is bullshit as well ? 2019 was the year I started seeing the bullshit within everything, and so naturally, I used this word quite much. My favourite quote of the year is: "The one you feed the most" as a response to the question: "I am torn between two wolves fighting inside of me. One of them is fighting to stay here, and the other is fighting to get there. Which one is going to win?". This quote sums up everything I needed to learn about balance. It basically talks about the balance between happiness and survival. 2019 started with a nihilistic attitude towards life, and ended with deep meaning and passion. I have a purpose now and it doesn't feel empty anymore. I've had a heart-chakra-opening. I don't know the exact date, maybe it was in 2018 I'm not sure. But I'm sure that I never felt the depth of my emotions the way I do now, both positive and negative are now multiplied by 10 or so. When I'm in low mood, it's hell. When I'm in a good mood, it's paradise. I'm learning to cope with hell and integrate it. I need to install proper beliefs. I've understood what infinity means. It's not what I thought it should be. It just means "not finite". I've realised God in multiple aspects; firstly, it was the realisation of God as absolute truth/the present moment/everything. Then God as absolute love. Then God as absolute beauty, I've seen the wow in everything, and I wasn't even alive. I've learned experientially the difference between thinking and being. It cannot be communicated or understood conceptually. Still, being occurs even while thinking, you just need to be present for it. I'm not sure about this, but I think I've had a Kundalini awakening. It doesn't matter though. I don't care about these accomplishments. They'll happen when they happen. I've learned a life lesson, and it's that the counter-intuitive approach, often times, is the most profound. Which leads to another huge realisation which is that the simpler the technique is, usually the better. My favourite song of the year is Everlasting Nothing by Beck; My favourite video from Actualized.org was understanding relativism part 1. I'm really excited about part 2. My favourite movie was the Joker. I've cried through 90% of it. It touched deep parts of my soul. I'm sure I've left a lot unsaid, I don't have a lot in mind right now. Overall, 2019 has been great, and a good example of a Limbo phase. And even though they're just numbers, I'm excited about the next decade. Now, what are my plans? Actually, nothing. I'll leave it for surprise, I've learned that no plan is the ultimate plan. It's the craziness of life that gives it its beauty, and it's the flow that makes you happy. So.. Flow.

Amazing video Leo! Now I understand what a mindfuck is, lol. I think the combination between Survival, Self-bias, Relativity, and Non-Duality concepts was really effective. Happy new year everyone!

It's an Islamic mantra. Its main aim is to help calming down the monkey-mind and to reduce distractions.

Yes, you're wrong. It's 100%. (I both mean it and don't). Point is, it doesn't really matter.

The insomnia is not a problem. Sleeping is overrated. You can do a lot of meaningful and positive things while you are awake, than just sleeping. If you don't feel sleepy or dizzy at day, then where's the problem? You can use this time for contemplation at the very least. I've had a kundalini awakening, and now I can't sleep for more than four hours continuously. I usually sleep at 8-9 pm and wake up at midnight, and remain awake until 5-6 am, then I sleep for one hour or two. I don't feel bad in my body, and my focus is sharp as always, probably even better. The anger issue will dissolve by time and awareness (meditation). The other girls getting attracted to you is an opportunity for you to see some part of the world from the feminine perspective. Think of it as an easy opportunity for you to learn detachment. The more demand, the less supply.

@Commodent I don't disagree with you, but I think there's a nuance that we could use here. For example, the half-life of what is being consumed. Maybe I've consumed uranium (perhaps not the best example but you get the point) or something like that. So, even if I could have the ability to detect its harmfulness, I still have consumed it. The point is, sometimes it could get too late before you could intuit what's good for you. How could anyone intuit poison? Besides, I've heard of an enlightened master who died from cancer (probably Ramana). So, I don't think consciousness can protect from illness. Even though I'm a huge fan of the benefits of consciousness, and I think that it's very important and helpful, just not solely enough. Also, is there proper scientific evidence, i.e. double-blinded studies to support the quotes? (Pardon me if my post wasn't relevant to what you were trying to say. I'm not a native speaker).

Watching Leo's video while studying Gynaecology is kind of weird, but I still have to do it. Or, do I?! It's been a long time since I watched anything from Actualized.org, I missed Leo. This episode is really interesting, and it came as a synchronicity. I love how he integrates these four powerful concepts together; Self-bias, Survival, Relativity, and Non-Duality. It's such a great way to deconstruct the mind.

I got robbed once by three army members, and I was a citizen. I didn't have much in my pocket at that moment, but it saved my life. They could have easily killed me but they didn't because of the money. They also returned my phone because it was outdated, lol. Point is, be grateful, it could have been a lot worse.

Well, for a variety of reasons. But first, we need to make sure we're on the same page when we use the word "ego". For me, the ego refers to the mind which is basically a complex of thoughts. Essentially, the ego is how we relate to our selves, to others, and to reality. It's our identity as human beings with the entirety of its details. Or, if we think of awareness as the non-changing presence, the ego would be the changing appearances that occur inside that awareness. That's how I understand the word ego. That being said, here are some of the reasons I think he's wrong: He created a whole video trying to disprove the existence of something that doesn't even exist? I mean, seriously?! If it didn't exist, then why would we even talk about it? Hell! Why should I even listen to him? His main argument was that "loving" the ego goes against the teachings of all the "enlightened" masters, which simply indicates how dogmatic he is. Besides, whatever anyone says has nothing to do with the truth. A true insight does not have to be approved by anyone else besides oneself. Back to point #1, if the ego is a bunch of thoughts, how does that make it any less real? What determines what's real and what's not? Transcending something means including it, not denying it. How are we supposed to live in a state of non-dual awareness if we're still living in separation with our thoughts, demonising them and rejecting their value and validity? The lack of nuance he shows indicates that he does not understand what he is talking about. He takes his ideas seriously to the point where thinks he's already gotten to the ultimate conclusions about the ego, believing that he somehow owns some absolute truths (stage Blue indicator). An ego (him) telling other egos (us) that the ego is an illusion. How convenient to his ego?! (this is a poor point actually, but I like to keep it in mind). This kind of conclusions comes from someone who is still identifying with his ego without being aware of it. He hasn't gone full-circle yet. If I have an ego and I don't suffer, where's the problem? (I'm not there yet, but I don't suffer that much). He clearly confuses the pointers for reality. Spiritual teachings aren't meant to be used as absolute truths, but rather as poiters at specific situations. Use once and throw away. Integrate without clinging. I could go on and list many other reasons, but I don't need that. Maybe I am just a narcissist who is using these rationalisations to reinforce my ego (notice that I'm still open to being wrong). But that's not how I feel right now. My intuition tells me that I'm on the right track. Anyway, there's one special case in which I could think of dropping my ego. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's related to there being a good government and a highly moral society (at least stage Green morality, alongside a stage Yellow uncorrupted government). This way, I wouldn't need to have an identity because survival would be relatively easy. That is unless I wanted to become a part of the government, which means I would need to have an ego. Leadership requires having an ego. Without the ego, good luck being a good leader, even of one's own life. Notice the subtle duality here. Assuming that thinking and doership somehow cause us to suffer comes from not living in a state of non-dual awareness. This assumption itself is a sneaky thought creating resistance against thinking and doership, while at the same time putting love and intuition on a pedestal. Can you see how that is, by definition, a duality? For me, all of it. There's no problem whatsoever with having an ego as long as you know its place, and as long as you are its master, not the other way around.

Trying to be open-minded about my recent realisations, I stumbled across this hippy video: I intuited from the beginning that he has nothing of significance to share, but nevertheless, I listened to the whole video with an open mind. He's just so wrong, locked up in his paradigm. From the first few paragraphs it was loud and clear. It's so nauseating for me to listen to a dogmatic person preaching spirituality. God! I'm so disgusted with stage Blue/Green people right now. I'm either Orange or Yellow. Perhaps it would resonate with others, or with me two years ago, but not right now. I'm currently so beyond his delusions.

@How to be wise You don't actually get it. You're just spreading your dogmas.

This won't work, because it's coming from the devil. God does not create through manipulation. God does not get his hands dirty. It rather creates the devils, and lets them be, and then the devils manipulate within the range that is determined by God. That range isn't fixed, but it isn't accessible for devils. Only God can change it.

Use the Law of Attraction. It always works! Learn to see the full half of the glass. "But how?" you ask. "Through mediation" I say.

@Raptorsin7 I didn't mean silence literally. Besides, it isn't true silence if there is still resistance. And yes, probably everyone has had the same issue at some point. Maybe some are still having it. The pain you're describing is nothing other than the resistance to whatever there is. Maybe what there is, is monkey mind, but you don't want it, so you resist it and suffer. The counter-intuitive move is to allow it, and to be "that monkey" without judging it. Maybe what there is, is that you are afraid from something, but you can't let yourself be yourself, you can't let yourself run away because you think it's not spiritual to do so. But that's exactly the trick/paradox! You think that by resisting the running away you'd dissolve your fears, but it's quite the opposite. That fear is a red-herring, it's distracting you from being present with The Fear. The true bravery is to allow yourself to be whatever it needs to be, with complete acceptance. Even if what there is, is fear, allow and observe it without judging it. If running away it is, allow and observe it without judgement. That's how meditation is done. That's facing your fears head on. It's quite easy and simple, yet very powerful. Being present isn't about being in a certain state. It's about allowing whatever state there is to just be, which is by the way, the only choice we have.

You'd sit in silence until you'd realise that your entire life was nothing but noise. Then you'd get used to that silence until you wouldn't be able to hear no noise anymore. And then you'd get to realise that the silence is nothing other than the noise. There, you'd become liberated. We're conditioned from birth to chase stimulations. We learn to let go of that conditioning with spirituality. We fall into the trap of clinging to a non-stimulating lifestyle. We, finally, let go of spirituality as well, and then we become free to live our lives the way we want, that is, in alignment with God's will.

I think this is in the realm of relativity. Good and bad are relative, and goals are relative as well. For me personally, at the moment, I'm not after peace of mind and happiness. I want success, leadership, survival, etc... I'm not denying that the ultimate goal might probably be happiness, I'm just saying that the means may differ from one person to another, depending on where they are in life. The path is extremely nuanced for each individual person, I suppose. You've made this idea pretty clear much earlier. But it seems like the discussion started getting a little bit personal, like your path is the true path and other paths don't exist. I understand that the intentions behind that are well, but I think the way the ideas are presented can be tweaked. This, in my view, is a stage Green argument. At stage Yellow, I assume, things are probably going to be said differently. I agree with you on this one. But maybe our friend here has a unique perspective regarding the relationship between the two? I'm really excited to hear more from him explaining his point of view. And since I personally still am at tier one, I don't know how people at tier two view things. I'm open to some counter-intuitive, perhaps even radical views that I may not be able to comprehend at my current level. It's interesting how a lot of the things I thought were absolutes before turned out to be relative ☺️

@LfcCharlie4 @MAYA EL You guys have an extremely vivid imagination. Not sure what's bugging you, though. @V-8 I love the quotes and the quality of your posts. All well-organised, and well-thought. Please keep them coming. Back to the main discussion, I don't know what it's like to be fully awake as I've never fully awoken myself. But I believe there are countless things that one can learn throughout life. This learning process, I call deepening of awakening. To me, awareness/knowledge is made by making distinctions. The more aware you are, the more nuanced you become.

I'm having a lot of insights about the nature of "the devil". It's almost impossible and rather pointless to try to list them all here. The point is that I don't know how to be a devil. Not that I'm not one, but that I am poor at being one. And as insane as it sounds, the insights were telling me that I should be more selfish. Even though I realised in the past that I need to stop being selfless, which is the easiest state for me to be in, but this time it was a thousand times deeper. I started noticing how everyone else is a devil, which should have been obvious to me all along. Although, I'm not saying that I wasn't aware of the devilry of others, but it was more of a general idea. I always treated my own self as a devil and ignored any external devilry. That certainly has boosted my spiritual growth. I was able to deconstruct and see through myself very easily. However, my ability to survive was hindered. Not because I wasn't selfish enough, but because I wasn't selfish where I needed to be. I started noticing how almost every move or thought everyone else makes is directed one way or another towards surviving their identity. My identity has been (over the last four years or so) to be totally selfless, to serve others, and to advance their agendas on the expense of my own. So, I ended up being happy as a natural result of not having agendas. The recent awakening revealed (still is revealing) to me that I should stop giving away power and authority to other people. I am frankly more conscious than most of the people I interact with. It's wrong to give them power when I can have it. I can lead better than others. I am a stoic, calm, confident, honest, and I live by little. Who else could lead better than a stoic?! My current goal is to observe more how those selfish dynamics work in order to learn from them. I need to meditate A LOT on this matter. I could talk much more, but that would only help the devils corrupt this world. Bottom line is that I have been a deluded fool for a long time. It’s time for me to change my focus towards improving my situation so that I can change the world better than other stupid people do. It's kind of like I've awakened to some political aspect of my existence. I recall Leo in his politics video saying something along the lines of 'if you leave the unconscious rule, you get poor results'. And now I see that he was absolutely right. I should start learning and involving myself more into politics. .. Good progress regarding the graduation project. I still have ton of work to be done. .. Phone and internet addictions are getting cured slowly. Nothing to worry about. .. And about the gym, I love it! I wish I had nothing else to do so that I could workout for hours and hours. I imagine my ideal lifestyle to be all about working out, eating, having sex, and sleeping. Just like an animal. I want nothing else. The problem is that it isn't realistic, at least it doesn't seem so.

Sigh.. Instead of trying to convert others, how about using their paradigms to expand your understanding and to correct your blindspots?

Interesting model, indeed ? .. I don't know about others, but for me, these inquiries have become irrelevant. To know or not to know, it doesn't matter at all.

Pain is a catalyst for creation.

Perfect! I would say slow down your pace a little bit, perhaps pause sometimes for a moment or two, and focus more on the visuals. Try to do the labeling technique, it usually puts me in the present moment. After that, when your mind is calm and clear, you can start the healing process. It usually starts spontaneously, in the form of emotional release. Yesterday, I cried and felt tremendous gratitude for everything, that gratitude turned into love, and I felt pure and innocent like a little child.