Logan

Every minute of free time that I have, I am working to improve myself. It is actually a bit obsessive. I think I may need to reel myself in a bit and allow myself to be as I am, rather than to constantly focus on what I can be in the future. I see the massive potential I have and want to embody it so badly. I can't let go of my focus on working towards actualizing my goals, to the detriment of my present self. I feel like a high school athlete doing unhealthy things in order to fulfill their dreams of going pro. I have been meditating for 8 years but have had trouble remaining present in the last couple of years and wonder how much good it's done me in that time. I used to avoid thinking too much and meditation was easier. Now I am being more strategic, thinking long-term, taking 100% responsibility, being completely self-honest, and working on my purpose. I struggle now to turn off my monkey mind. The switch between being and doing is lost in the dark. I feel there isn't enough time in a day to do all the things I want to in order to grow. I stay up until 3am most nights working on myself and my purpose. I used to be firmly in stage green and shunned stage blue & orange values. Once I had realized this, I began working to integrate stages blue and orange. I have been integrating orange in a toxic way. I was afraid of my intense yearning for money, power, status, and success. Now I see why. I have fallen into the trap of overwork and overt ambition. I need to focus my attention on a smaller field of subjects at a time, and realize that life isn't a sprint, but a marathon. To be able to be present and accept myself as I am. Can anyone share their experience of traversing the traps of stage orange and share some insight? I'm a rat in the maze, chasing the cheese.

Make an appointment with a speech pathologist. Expressable is a company that does appointments via Zoom. $59 per session.

"We humans have a deep need to think highly of ourselves. If that opinion of our goodness, greatness, and brilliance diverges enough from reality, we become grandiose. We imagine our superiority." -Robert Greene (The Laws of Human Nature) - Law 11 "Man will only become better when you make him see what he is like." -Anton Chekhov In order to overcome a limitation or shadow within yourself, so that you may grow out of it, try the following: 1) Recognize the extent of your ignorance, weakness, and/or lack of skill in a given area. 2) Accept the harsh truth that you aren't as special or talented as you thought you were in that area. 3) Expect ego backlash from this realization. 4) Meditate on your newly discovered weakness until you no longer feel the restriction on your breath or the tension in your body. 5) Craft a plan of action. 6) Commit to taking action on your plan.

@StarStruck Stop trying to “seem” less needy. Work on yourself to become less needy. Then you won’t have to try and hide it (manipulation) These separate categories are all symptoms of the same problem. Weakness.

Watch Leo’s video: A Rant Against The Pick Up Community You could watch YouTube video’s and take notes on coaches. A.G. Hayden who I mention below does reviews and helps you see who you should actually learn from. Use intuition to figure out when something is toxic or damaging to others/women. There is lots of manipulation and bad stuff but also good stuff. Figure out what’s ethical for yourself. I watch the following: Jack Denmo (Youtube Prankster, not a coach) (He’s Smooth AF) (Denmo Social - Course 7.5/10 - $95) *A.G. Hayden (does personal coaching) (don’t know his prices) (good big-picture understanding and majored in psychology) Honest Signalz (Watch his confidence and boldness) (don’t agree with his promiscuity or views on women but has game) Owen Cook Julien Himself Use your judgement with these last two as well. I liked this book: Mark Manson - Models: Attracting Women Through Honesty

@Animo Yeah I can relate for sure, thanks for chiming in. Will definitely take some adventures and enjoy life more

@Intraplanetary Do we?

@Snader Most of my survival needs are in Orange. I will deal with the distractions in my life which do not bring me joy or fulfillment. I am comfortable dealing with ego backlash, not worried about that. Dealt with much worse before. @Leo Gura I will make it a priority to have enjoy myself on a regular basis from now on. @Nahm Ah, I haven’t been sitting still or breathing deeply during my meditation. I will correct this.

I have read Spiral Dynamics. I'll skim through it again and highlight the things I'm missing. I'll look specifically at the 6 conditions of MEME change and moving through the spiral. Good point about life conditions and direct experience.

Writing helps me get my thoughts out so I can see things more clearly. I don't especially like writing, so I write publicly to force myself to really think about what I'm feeling or thinking about. I'm way more focused when I know that my words may directly influence others, so I can't be lazy when writing on here. Leadership is my highest value. I'll reflect on the lesson I didn't realize I taught myself lol

Yes I am mostly Stage Yellow.

@Virtus Learn about the concept of The Dark Triad. (Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Sociopathy) They are 3 traits (of many) that attract women. It basically comes off as massive self belief and confidence. Create a personality which projects these traits (don't become them) when you're around women to attract them. Women dislike/distrust weak men because: 1) weak men are more dangerous than strong men, 2) they're no fun (timid, unopinionated, passive rather than assertive...) 3) they're rarely powerful or have much status, 4) they are poor leaders, 5) they can't protect them, 6) they have no purpose in their life other than to take the easy road and chase women (simplifying here but you get the point) I'm not saying to become a Machiavellian, sociopathic, narcissist. Or that you should manipulate women in order to get what you want from them. In order to attract women effectively, you need to create a strong masculine frame in order to allow a woman to open up and be feminine with you. The Dark Triad is a powerful concept to understand in becoming an attractive man. (Straight) women love a confident man and it's hard to project confidence if you don't feel it within yourself. Become confident by increasing your self-efficacy. Set goals and achieve them. Take care of your body and mind. Find your purpose and place it before women. Continue to develop yourself. Find and actualize your life purpose. You could study: social skills, charisma, persuasion, male/female psychology, and lots of other subjects to help you understand women and attraction. If you have any negative views or beliefs about women, uncover them and transcend them. Your negative beliefs about women will shine through from your behavior/body language and they will feel it. If you have any negative views on your sexuality, shame for instance, uncover and transcend those.

@Tangerinedream Practical tips: -Wear sunscreen and facial lotion daily. -Avoid long periods in the sun without protection. (Hats, long sleeves, etc.) -Avoid recreational drugs.

Study psychology, human nature, social skills, Self-Love, detachment. Become passionate about life and express yourself even if you think others won’t like it. (If they don’t, then you don’t want them in you life anyway, right?) Apply requisite variety to all your problems in life.

*Shamanic Breathing. (Leo’s vid) Primal Therapy. Shadow Work. (See Leo’s booklist) Contemplate your traumatic experiences using a journal and realize that it’s no longer real. It’s just a figment of your imagination. Forgive & love yourself and all others involved in the traumatic event/s. Distance yourself from anyone who harmed you so that you may heal in a safe environment. Dream analysis and journaling. Small doses of psychedelics. (Research first) Take 100% responsibility for where you are now. You are no longer a victim. If you are still framing yourself as the victim, you won’t be able to heal.

Contemplate your own death. Notice that comfort is making you weak. Find your life purpose. Leo's Life Purpose Course is excellent. Envision what your life will look like in ten years if you continue on your current path. Start the Hero's Journey. Imagine yourself as the hero of your own life. Imagine a movie is to be made about your life and they are filming you Truman Show style. What would you do to inspire others? (See Leo's vid on the hero's journey) Think of all the struggle and work it took throughout history to get society to where it is now, and think about what opportunities and freedoms now exist that didn't 300 years ago. What would Leonardo da Vinci do with himself if he were alive now? Create something authentic and original from your unique personality and passions. Ask yourself what aspects of reality are most interesting, and study them. Science, Human Behavior, History, Spirituality, Philosophy... there is so much to be learned, so many ways to enhance your life (Survival), and ways to transcend survival (Spirituality). Don't take these for granted. You can create a powerful and fulfilling life if you put in the work. You think Lebron James became the best by sitting on his couch eating ice cream? Ask yourself what you want to be the best in the world at. Create a vision of yourself accomplishing that goal, vision it every morning 90 days straight for 5 minutes, and you will subconsciously start creating it.

I love and accept myself exactly as I am. I am completely independent of the good and bad opinions of others. I am a mountain, I am strong, solid, and stable. (Got this one from mediative mind on YT, check it out)

Invest in yourself, not others.

This may be an underlying cause. I'll look into it. The anxiety is very subtle, I only notice that my breathing becomes shallow and my throat becomes tense, along with brain fog. I’m going to do some somatic breathing cause I think it’s an emotional issue. I’ll do it consistently and see how it works.

I struggle to speak in complete sentences without pausing and forgetting what I'm trying to say. I guess it's a form of stuttering. I've been recording myself on video to practice public speaking and cannot speak more than a couple sentences without losing my train of thought (without reading off a page). I need to overcome this to actualize my life purpose. I have only just looked this issue up and realized that it's a condition and not just me being lazy. It also affects my relationships as I come off as uncertain or shy but I just literally cannot speak fluently. I'm pretty sure It's an emotional problem. Anyone have any experience with this or know anyone who has dealt with it? Update: It may be aphasia or some other speech pathology. I’m going to see a speech pathologist.

Yeah I listen to lots of lectures. Leo’s being one of them obviously lol. I’ll study speakers I admire and see if I can find a way to take their methods and build up my own consciously rather than just passively listening. Thanks

You have been studying so much with advanced topics that you can't relate to anyone. Diversify your reading. Read some practical, down to earth books every once in a while. Agree with Bob about moving out and doing pickup. Check out Robert Greene's The Laws of Human Nature. Will help with social skills, social and emotional intelligence, life purpose, etc. Watch Leo's video's Expose Yourself to More Experience & A Rant Against Culture.

@IAmReallyImportant What you constantly think about and believe about yourself, you will manifest. If you believe you will struggle in mediocrity, you will set lower standards for yourself subconsciously and be mediocre. If you summoned a massive amount of will, emotion, and self belief within yourself, then you wouldn't be so worried about it. You do not have a strong enough vision, or, you have toxic values. Money, fame, status are some of them, which I get the feeling you have based on your note about subscriber count. Focusing on mastering your craft, building skills, and staying in line with your values. Don't be led astray, chasing the cheese like all the other rats in the maze.

@RendHeaven Yes my purpose is to become a teacher/coach.

The world is becoming more complex at such a fast rate, which requires more responsibility and hard work to succeed. Men, if not properly guided, are wired to be selfish and destructive. Shocking I know haha. Men need a sense of purpose an outlet to express themselves in a healthy way. The issue is that it's not easy creating a life and career which one is passionate about, to feel useful and fulfilled with so many options and "competition." Society is so evolved that there aren't obvious roles in society for men to take up anymore. In agrarian society, boys grew up on a farm and learned to farm at a young age in order to survive. Or, a boy was forced to choose or was chosen to a mentorship to be a cobbler, blacksmith, butcher etc. at an early age. There were far fewer options for employment so it didn't take them 50 years to figure it out like most men do today, if they ever do. It showed tangible results, it was the food they ate. Their survival depended on it. This gave them a sense of purpose. It may not have been what they were passionate about, but at least they felt useful. Men today have a world of options, and are usually too lazy/fearful to figure out which one is right for them. Advanced modern society is very cushy and many of us are far removed from physical survival challenges like starvation and dehydration, which are strong motivators. Being able to have food delivered to our homes, having an endless supply of TV, and being able to turn on the heat when it's cold disconnect us with this motivation/survival instinct. Most men today don't have a good role model or somebody to show them how to be a man. It takes a massive amount of effort and pain to admit one's shortcomings and improve themselves. Deep inside they know they are weak, but avoid acknowledging it for the pain it will cause them and the responsibility they'll have to take in order to mature. Basically I'm saying men need to sack up & take responsibility for their lives.