Mindfang413

So i have been asking this question recently but i dont know if anyones on the same page here when it comes to terminology. I keep asking if consciousness is something or nothing out of confusion. Because what i think of when hearing the word nothing is that consciousness doesnt exist. But clearly, since it is happening, it exists. I dont think nothing and nonexistence are the same thing (in this context) and that people need to clarify what they mean by this. Yes it may not be a physical thing, anywhere at any time, but it still EXISTS correct? Its existence itself. So why are people calling it nothing? Do you mean it does not exist? Because that does not make any sense.

I think people should not call consciousness nothing. By being existence itself, that inherently gives it a single quality at the very least: existence or thingness (BEING, PRESENCE). I understand what we mean by calling it nothing because it is devoid of all other qualities on its own but i still dont agree with this terminology. Nothing is nothing as in nonexistence as in there would be no consciousness, no anything. People know what conscious awareness means, theres no need to give a lable to it, espessially a confusing one. Conventionally speaking something and existence mean the same thing as do nothing and nonexistence. To recontextualize this word to another definition isnt the way to go about this because it is just another word for the same thing (nonexistence) which is not existence, just use formlessness if u need to use a word to describe the difference between formed objects or things versus consciousness. You cant make nothing and nonexistence different things when they are literally talking about the same "thing" or "not thing" which means we should not use "nothing" to describe this "something"(consciousness). People will still get it because we all know what consciousness is inherently. To answer the question why something exists rather than nothing is because nonexistence literally does not exist which means existence has to exist. My whole reason for starting this thread was because i dont think we should use that term as it is not a correct term for this and can cause confusion because of how its evolved as a word in society. I dont mean to sound condescending or anything like that, this is just my opinion.

This is what i think too.

@Hulia I think i understand. However when you say no spectator, do u mean no physical, separate entity? If thats what u mean, then i get it. As far as i can tell, the awareness that observes the appearences exists. Though they are more one in the same, the same process i guess.

@OctagonOctopus Thank you for clarifying. I think i understand now. People sometimes use the terms nothing and nonexistence interchangably and that was confusing me.

Is consciousness something or nothing though? Like is this now moment and experiance existence itself or nonexistence?

Those words were comforting, thank you. ? Yes, it definently seems like im nowhere but in a place at the same time.

Hey there everyone. Been a while since ive been on here last. Hope u all are doing well. Recently ive been having nonstop realizations of the depth of infinity. Its kinda really scary. Things are so infinite, its almost like a single object gets lost or that it didnt really exist in the first place, its so weird, like where does anything begin or end? This started when i started thinking about how small things could be. Like atoms. Then theres these qwark things that are even smaller. But how small can something be before it doesnt exist? I began thinking size must be infinitly small. And infinity big. It kinda freaks me out because i have no idea how big anything actually is in that or where tf i even am in the universe if it just reaches out forever. Its a mind **** for sure.

Been thinking about this almost obsessively today. How is it we enjoy or like things more than others? It cant be cause a feeling simply just feels better than another because everyone feels differently about the same feelings. For instance, someone could like romance more than anything else. Someone else could enjoy their work more than anything else. Hell, someone could even enjoy doing nothing at all as their favorite feeling. Its weird that preference even exists? Im questioning my own likes and dislikes? Like, where does it come from? Is this even worth wondering about?

@Carl-Richard that makes sense. I thought it was probably due to conditioning. Its just now im wondering how i can trust my own preferences. Doesnt that mean its all kinda of an illusion?

This just opened the door to another question regarding the same thing. And its really bothering me. But how can someone mentally like or enjoy something physically painful or uncomfortable? Like a masochist?

She may be saying u stalk her so that you keep your distance so she can continue breaking in to your mothers house. Only question i have is WHY is she constantly doing so? Is she stealing? Is she just trying to visit your mom or has any ties with people in that house? Either way, you should build up the evidence shes been breaking into the house uninvited and request for a restraining order against her. And if shes stealing, then bring her ass to jail.

Im also curious but you say your schizophrenic but havent been diagnosed. Only want to help you clarify things so i must ask: 1: What mental symptoms makes you think you are schizophenic? 2: Are you going to try to get a real diagnosis? Sometimes symptoms of schizophrenia can be present in other mental illnesses like major depressive order and bi polar which can sometimes cause you to hallucinate and think delusionally (i know cause i deal with severe enough depression) and i only say this because it seems you have jumped the gun saying it is schizophrenia when you havent had a proper dianosis yet. Those things you asked about, like if others do the same are pretty "normal" too btw. My advice is to get set up with a psychotherapist.

It doesnt matter why. Shes just an irrational person. People can be like that. Go to the police. Honestly and i dont mean to sound rude but if anyones ever broken into your house and phyically or sexually assaulted you, why wouldnt your first instinct be to call the police? And if this lady is breaking into your mothers house unannounced, you have every right to report her to the police. She doesnt want you in her life obviously and you shouldnt want her in yours if she acts like that.

You either are naturally introverted and simply dont like talking to people more than you have to OR theres fear holding you back, either consciously or unconsciously. If this only affects social situations, its not avolition or apathy. If this affects your life in general, then it might be.

The fact the thought bothers you should tell you something. If you were a pedo, you wouldnt be disgusted about it and would actively search for those things to get off too. Ive dealt with very similar fears and thoughts before. You know and feel that such a thing is wrong to you and you would never want to do it. The boner is just a response, probably because the GAME seems sexual, not the children doing it.

I think im broken. I know i feel emotions but its like they are disconnected from me. I can get a brief flash of anger but its like im not identified with it. Same with good feelings. I find it hard to WANT or LIKE anything. I cant even enjoy relaxing, meditating or sleeping. Absolutely nothing. Even when i get a moment of mental peace, i focus on the feeling but i just feel so uncomfortable even existing and being able to observe this feeling im aware of. My ability to like something is gone. Its like i convinced myself liking things doesnt matter. And i cant even remember why i want to love things again. Its like the feeling doesnt appeal anymore. Im super aware these things are only experienced mentally and arnt tangible things and that confuses me even more. I think about it sooo much, regardless of what im doing because everything im doing lacks any meaning or substance. I dont know why i continue to live. I think about EMOTIONS so much. Its like i dont actually have them! And it just doesnt even appeal anymore to have them either. I feel entirely empty and detached, like its impossible to describe to you in words. Its like emotions dont actually exist or that i dont actually experience them and i cant LIKE having them, even the good ones. Im cut off them completely and i dont see the significance of feeling them again. I cant even understand why pain hurts. For example, i hit my hand on something earlier and it hurt but its like i cant understand what pain is and why i dont want to feel it? I focused on the feeling and its like it wasnt a part of my experiance, its just there. I think im disconnecting from experiance all together. Whats really weird is before all this, i had many intense blissed out moments of enjoying life, i could look at a tree and grass and feel totally amazing. Now i look at that feeling i had then and i cant exactly say i want to be there again. I dont want anything. Whenever i think im feeling something that could be even remotely positive, i cant feel it, and they lack substance or any value to me. The act of liking something in itself seems to be pointless to my experiance even though logically i know its "good" to experiance. Its like experiance itself means nothing to me. I think its part of the nihilism i had going on and its just gotten to this point. Is this normal? Like, an actual phenomenon experianced by others? I dont even know whats going on. I keep telling myself i need to get back to normal, that maybe im just numb but i find it hard to want to. I am close to giving up.

Ive had pure OCD for like 2 years now. Luckily im finally getting over it. But that shit is hell, i cant think of anything worse. My last bout was these last couple months and im still getting over it. Basically i kept getting thoughts happiness didnt matter and feeling nothing was as good as happiness cause theyre both pointless, but of course happiness is not pointless. I started believing it though. I had a breakthrough though and im still trying to get back to a normal state. Before this, i had the same thoughts like thinking thoughts about murder, rape, pedophilia , torture, thinking i was going to do these things or somehow find them moral when in fact i wasnt. I also had severe existential ruminations that slowly took time for me to process and get over and all that was left is what im still dealing with now with is emotions. Hopefully its the end to it all. I know ill still have thoughts that give me anxiety through life but i think ive gotten through the worst and i can tell you itll get better. The fact the thoughts BOTHER you in the first place tells you you wont ever believe them or act on them. Itll be okay!

I cannot feel anything. I cant conceive of beauty anymore like what even is beauty? Just some feeling we get about useless colors and sights and textures. I cant feel love in any way, shape or form. I care about others in the sense that i dont want someone to be hurt physically but i dont understand emotional pain anymore. I dont understand why someone would be hurt if i just offed myself. I want to but the only thing holding me back is people who care about me would suffer greatly if i did. But i no longer understand why. I think back to when my dad died or my dog died (when i was somewhat sane) and how it felt when they died. I felt bad for them and missed them but recently i dont miss them anymore. I dont miss anybody. I feel no connection to others. I cant have fun with others. Im living with my sis and she wants to hang out but i no longer understand why hanging out with someone is fulfilling or fun. I feel no connection to myself. I keep telling myself i deserve to be happy but i cant feel it anymore, i cant ENJOY anything anymore. Things seem totally pointless and absurd. Everything. I used to be the most passionate person. I used to look at the world in child like wonder and amazement and absolutely love and appreciate everything i saw but now things seem boring, lifeless, and illusory. It all means nothing. How am i suppose to love anything? I look around all day these past few days, wondering why i should even be here. Why anyone should be here. We mean nothing, our lives mean nothing, our emotions mean nothing. I wish i were dead.

Ok, im always asking the question why is there something rather than nothing on here but what i get in response is something IS nothing. I can see that if we are just talking about consciousness here. The ultimate consciousness. But why does this consciousness exist? Why isnt there just complete utter void, without any conscious awareness or thought? Does this consciousness have a purpose? Is it simply to exist because real utter nothing is impossible?

Ok ill try these, thank you all!

Well, theres no going back, I guess im going to just jump into this now. So, anyone got really good meditation practices that could help me? Even guided ones or music that i could find on youtube? Thanks!

I know ive had similar posts already. I just keep getting to new lows and i just cant seem to get out of it. I have found that after contemplating and meditating so long on purpose and love and everything positive, my depressive and nihilistic thoughts resurface even worse. In fact, its gotten to the point where i dont even see the point to love or joy. I have no love for love. Like its not just the thoughts, i have a complete lack of feeling. Thus, i have no love for anything. I just sit here, waiting to no longer exist. The good and the bad mean nothing to me. Am i just burnt out? I get veeeery small glimmers of love here and there that i guess is why im still here besides i guess trying to avoid pain by taking care of my basic needs. Sometimes, it seems that love is enough and should be enough, other times i think even if im just a thing that can feel, whats even the point to that? I avoid pain but at the same time, i dont see the value in pleasure anymore. I try practicing self love but i am finding it increasingly difficult as time goes on. When i think about absolute unconditional love, it still feels as if its not enough or insignificant, is it just cause im not FEELING it? Can you even feel that? I always feel like i NEED and SHOULD feel love but i just dont anymore. Its like a COMPLETE indifference to everything. Hate is not the opposite to love, indifference is and honestly, it is the hardest thing ive ever had to deal with, dont even know if i can recover. I dont even know if posting this will help, maybe it will? I just dont know what to do anymore. I feel nothing but also dont care to feel anything?

Thank you all for the advice. Ill update if it improves. I think i may already feel a bit better in fact. Tried some acceptance meditation, helped a bit.

Interesting. Ill give gratitude a try. I might try mushrooms at some point