Thalie

Hi. I have downloaded the videos and I usually watch them offline on my mobile. Since yesterday, I am unable to access my video and it says "Try downloading failed videos again ?". Then it says "This video requires a You Tube Premium membership". I don't want a premium membership. Please can someone help me. Thanks.

When I was a child, I saw everything as One, whole and together. I am You. You are Me. We are together. I saw the Essence of a person and was "blind" to the racial, cultural, social etc. differences. One day, I passed by a poor area and back home, I told my mum "Let us give all the money we have so that these poor people can built nice houses and just keep a little money for ourselves". My mum dismissed what I said as if I was talking nonsense. Another day, I opened my warobe and seeing so many clothes, I told my mum "I only need 2 change of clothes. One I am wearing and another one for the laundry. Let us give the rest to the poor". My mum replied : This is not how things work". I went in a corner and wondered "How things really work in this world ?".Then I felt that I was a very very old yogi, about 130 years old, almost naked living alone in a hut. As a child I found this world very strange, unreal and it took me a while to understand that things and people are seperate. I also found that the way people act was funny, like saying that someone's dress is beautiful and the moment the person turned her back, I heard how awful the dress was. Now that I started meditating, it's like I have to unlearn and go back to the Oneness state ! Very funny, I am back to square one. This childhood memory pop up just after meditating and seeing your thread, I felt I had to share it with you.

Before I loved to ask this type of questions. Now, no more ... Why ? I really cannot rate my happiness. If I have to, it would be close to an abstract, complex, algebric equation (the type of equations you find in advanced maths books) Good to know the anwers. Then ... what Difference would it make if mine was the complex equation and others/statistics/ poll was X, Y, Z or more complex equations ? The bottom line is whatever my happiness is, it will stay the same unless I improve on it. Now, I am kind of ... don't really know whether I am happy or not. I am now conscious that I am confusing happiness with external factors, my moods, my negative and positive thoughts etc... What I know is : I am happier than before OR less sad than before. May be that is what counts : The Self Improvement.

An observation : When you do things that you love with people who are also passionate about the same things .... somehow everyone Open up , talk more .... become more social in a way.

Hi. This is what works for me and hope that it can help. Instead of focusing on the social aspect, the need to belong, to fit in etc .... I focus on my Needs. I have the need to Exercise .... so I join an exercise class, sport where I interact with people. I have the need to socialise by eating out once in a while ... so I have a few groups where the highlight is food and just giggling and talking about superficial things. I have the need for spirituality and going deep .... so I come to this forum where the "I am God. You are God" would not come across as being weird. That way, I strike MY balance. I socialise with people by sharing the same passions and need.

An observation : WHY we Humans, many times when we are experiencing intense emotions like Fear or Joy (orgams), we cry out loud "Oh my GOD" ? WHY God and not other word ? Is it a socially acquired expression ? In the moment when we may encounter death, do we instantly think of God ? When we are having orgasm which is also called "La petite mort" in french = The little death, is it a part of us "dying", breaking through to may be come face to face or experience God ? Behind the "Oh my God", may be there is a deeper meaning. Just wondering ....

Hi Nahm What do you mean by "D'ont mess around it anymore on your own" ? The key seems to be like the Nike logo (the tick sign): Just Do It. No matter what. I am a bit confused.

I just started meditation and this is what is happening to me : 1) My body jerks like spams especially my upper back and shoulders. It's like involuntary and automatic movement. 2) I feel energy or like warm liquid down my upper spine. It's a good, soothing feeling like someone pouring luxewarm water. What are these ? Tension, stress, inner demons or whatever ... coming out ? What is the meaning of the warm energy ? Why is it my upper back area ?

Thanks for your replies. It's so simple and makes sense. Now it "clicks". I am very grateful for this forum as it allows me to clarify the confusion in my mind. Having a platform to share, help with people who have the same passion is a GIFT.

What does it REALLY .... mean to Live in the present moment ? Can we live in the Now all the time ? My thoughts go from the past to the future and I try to Focus again to bring it in the now. How would I know that I am really in the Now ? I find that there are different types of being in the Now : - When I am totally absorbed in something. In that moment, it seems that you and the thing you are absorbed merge together and is One. It's like you are more than 100% in the now. - I am in the Now but the past and future are also in the now. It's like I am fully present in the now. - I don't know whether I am or not in the now. Yesterday I was driving, I asked myself "Am I in the now or not ?". To make "sure" I was in the now, I started using my senses and asked myself questions like : What do I see ? Cars, sky ... What do I smell ? etc ... i felt like I was in kindergarten ! Trying to stay in the now ... feels I am going Slow motion. Kind of : drag on ... An example: I am eating Now. What am I doing now ? Eating ! Suddenly being conscious I am indeed eating gives the process of eating a different flavour. May be I have never ever consciously lived in the Now and that it why it feels unatural. I would like to know How do you live your NOW everyday ? Can you do it every moment ?

What is Zen ? If you are hungry .... Eat If you are tired .... Sleep

Hi Aaron It's true that I focus too much on intellectual question and answer. I am now conscious that my Thinking will not bring me too far and I will go round and round ... until I surrender. Somehow, I will have to find a way to shift my mind from logic thinking to feeling. I am taking into consideration all your advice and try to do one thing at a time. ... I don't know much about psycdelics or kryia yoga for now. I will start to watch the self enquiry video and do the hardcore exercise first. I had to smile when you said "a sense that everything bows to me" as several times, I had the same feeling. At that very moment, I have asked myself "Am I being funny" or Am I in a flim ? Again ... too much thinking .... HI Remember When you mentioned "Optical lense", it reminds me of this experience : Two years ago, suddenly there was a change in my "vision"... When I looked around me, everything was brighter, shiny and sparkling. It was more obvious with Nature (Trees, flowers..) which were like sparklng jewels and I could not held but stare at them for a long time as if I was seeing Nature from an optical lense. It's kind of feel ... that you have when you change your glasses for a higher prescription. I also felt that Nature was " speaking" to me and they had a lifeforce of their own. This lasted for a day and then back to normal vision. Thank you both for taking the time to reply. Very much appreciated. Now I have to bounce into Action.

Hi Everyone I found this web site only a few weeks ago and I have been watching all the videos at a rymth that I can understand, grasp and digest. I would like to share this experience with you : Many years ago, I was driving alone, it started raining and was stuck in the traffic. I looked at a drop of rain on the widow in front of me and suddenly ... all around me became like light white cloudy atmosphere. There was no cars, roads, buildings etc ... I fell madly, passionately In Love with that drop of rain. There was no distinction between that drop of rain and I. I was the drop of rain and the drop of rain was I. We were One. My ego took a blow. How could I fall in love with .. what ? A drop of rain ! How could the "I" or "Me" be so insignificant as a drop of rain ? In one moment in time, everything seems so blissful and it felt like tasting only an infinite dusk or sparkle of the Nectar of God. Then, by magic.. everything dissapeared. That experience has "stuck" with me. I cannot relate it to my surroundings as 1) they won't understand 2) Don't want to complicate my lifev. I have been asking myself "What the hell is this ?". Is it a vision ? Hallucination ? My imagination ? Insantiy ? Did I tap into something like altered reality ? This experience happened only Once and I cannot even replicate it. A part of me Yearn for this experience again but knowing that I tap only an infinite sparkle of it, I cannot imagine what it would be like to taste only a teeny weeny bite more ... It's kind of ... I won't be able to function in this physical world again. It would be great if I can get ideas, insights etc ... to help me 1) Make sense of this experience 2) Move on and go beyond it. Thalie