StripedGiraffe

I agree! I feel like the more I heal, the deeper I can go into awakening. Spiritual purification

Hey guys. This is basically an unfiltered transcript of some voice notes I took during my 3.2 g Penis Envy Mushroom Trip (Lemon Tek). I had the deepest awakening of my life. Feel free to add some thoughts. Much love! Be careful not to lean against divine states of consciousness. It's more about realizing that I am the divine. There's nothing to lean against. It's about leaning into myself. Dream is the substance of reality Remember to stay connected to the divinity of my voice. If I've lost track of that, it's a clear sign that I've lost touch with myself. My voice is a prime pillar of creation. Speaking is one of the most direct forms of manifestation. I don't even want to take notes. The idea of leaving something for myself is so silly. The beauty is something else. It can't be visualized, it can't be though of, it just is, and it's nothing. It's all just a dream. That's what I am. Things just are the way they are. I can let go of all of the rules and rigid boundaries and just go with the flow, but also be the creator of all this. I can be my creation while creating at the same time. Life is a dream with no consequences because the doing and the consequences are one. They are the same. Doing IS the consequence. There's nothing to be afraid of. There's nothing to be said. It's just astounding. It's surreal. There is no real. This is all a perfect imaginary wonderland, of course. I was lying on some rocks, looking up at the trees, swaying in the wind. I also had mild visual distortions moving the tree. I realized that there is no difference between the wind moving the trees and my mind moving the trees. At this point I started to understand my present experience as My entire lifetime itself is a piece of art in all of it's depth. The entire experience is a masterpiece created by an artist so intelligent that there are no words to describe it. I've noticed this deep longing for love and surrender to myself. The paradox is that the state of longing for surrender is actually part of total surrender. There is no difference between the two because in order to want surrender, you have to surrender to the state of wanting surrender. What. I don't know anything. There nothing to cling to. There's nothing to try to do. Oh my god, its all just infinite perfection. That's all it is. That's what's happening. It’s an infinite gift to yourself. Oh my god. It's all perfect. It's all love. It’s all healing. This whole game of awakening is so fucking perfect. It's all this perfect fucking game that I just made up for myself cause it's fucking beautiful, just cause I can. I am God, I am Love. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. This is what I am. Oh my God. There is no difference between my heart and the rest of the world. There is no difference between suffering and love, It's all just one thing, It's all fucking - oh my God. I get so caught up in the technicalities of the best way do things or live my life, but no, there is no best way. Just do whatever you want. Whatever you want goes. That's what reality is. Anything you want. Oh my God. Anything you fucking want. Oh my God. What the fuck. What am I gonna do? Oh my God x10. Anything I fucking want. Oh my God x7. It doesn't matter. Nothing fucking matters. Oh my God this is fucking amazing. This is perfect. Infinite perfection. Infinite bliss. It know no end. It knows to bounds. All the barriers to bliss are just fucking bliss in disguise. Oh my God X2. There is no protocol to awakening. This is just what I am. It's all a giant gift for myself. I want to share it so bad. I can't even fucking believe this. I can't take this on. Like this is for me? (started coughing and spitting) so much fucking shame and unworthiness being coughed up. Holy fuck. I can't even… this is all for me? This is all for me? Are you fucking kidding me? This is so fucking amazing. All of the delusion, all of the pain, it's all perfect, it's all for me. I see the sacredness of what you are. Oh man. I'm just creating this infinite beauty for myself. I'm grounded in nothing. Nothing makes this possible. There's nothing that could make this possible OMG. There's nothing that could make this possible. And that's precisely why it is happening. OMG. All of the cold is part of the bliss. All of the discomfort is part of the bliss, part of being. It can't be put into words but its all so amazing. I am creating everything. I don't mean that I'm this human being that can create anything from my human imagination. No, I have absolutely fucking unlimited ability to do anything and I imagined that I was a human being with infinite imagine. I'm a human being because this is exactly what I want to experience and this fucking awesome! It's fucking awesome. OMG. I imagined that I'm a human being. All of this healing is imaginary. It's all a gift for me. I still can't even accept this. I'm struggling so hard to accept this. I get it now but how can I even accept this. What does it even mean to accept this? I guess to take on the responsibility of God. But there an emotional barrier in my chest. Accepting the responsibility myself an infinite creator is a lot… it's scary. Like… what am I gonna do? That's the fucking question. I keep having epiphanies and then like half an hour later, I'll have another insight that transcends my first epiphany and takes it a layer deeper and there seems to be no end to how deep it goes. There are infinite layers of complexity and beauty. And now I'm awake in my creation. Beauty only exists right now and nowhere else because there is nothing else. This is infinite beauty. So I'm this infinite creator. I can choose to be this human being and identify as this human being. But I can choose to be this human being and be the creator at the same time? Ohhhhhh. Oh that's what this has always been. I just keep being reminded that surrender is not what I think it is. It's not getting rid of all the opposing forces in your mind. It's being at peace with the opposing forces in your mind - being at peace that I'm not at peace.( Laughed for like fat minute). That's what peace is. That sounds kind of sad, like you're giving up. You are giving up, but there's multiple levels to giving up. Ultimately, giving up can be one of the most beautiful things you can experience because once you give everything up, you're left with what is. It'll always be here. I also keep being reminded that there's nothing to cling to. There's nothing to grasp. I keep trying to hold on to the rules and boundaries of the universe, but those are just made up, they're all part of this dream I dreamed up. There's nothing real about them. Is enlightenment just constantly being like this? Or - oh wait, enlightenment doesn’t exist. Enlightenment is just Being. It just is. So fucking cool. I love this. I love everything. I love myself. Every part, every single part. With all of the little things I don’t like, experiencing them is part of the perfection. The give and take of life is part of the beautiful experience. That's part of what love is. The entire experience of life. That is what Love is. All of it. Every single part of it. It's all one gift. It is Love. It is God. I'm just trying to breath this truth into my body right now. My breath is an expression of my acceptance and engagement with life. When I am fully accepting life, I can breathe fully and deeply. There's no wisdom in what I'm saying. The wisdom is in the present moment. It's not what I'm saying that's wise. The wisdom is what actually is. There's not a wise way to be. The wisdom is the Being itself. The biggest difficult I'm facing right now is the unworthiness. But it's not an unworthiness that has a rational explanation. It's more like. I didn't know something so good could be possible. I didn't know it could be THIS Good. All of the doubts I'm having about this awakening, It's all part of the love, the gift to myself. There's a deep craving to be totally consumed by love. There's like this deep longing. As God, how the fuck else could I express this? Like… here ya go! Here's your life! There's no difference between being awake and being asleep. Also, I was awake all along. I was always awake. This goes infinitely deeper. I can't imagine any limits and any limits I do imagine are imaginary and can be transcended. Absolutely abundant. One big infinite… whatever I want it to be. God is whatever I want it to be because I am God. I feel like I can always be this conscious but I've chosen not to be this conscious. There's no problem. At the same time, Problems are a gift. The gift is in overcoming it. The gift is in learning from it. The gift is in the stories you tell yourself. My heart can't even accept this love. Haha, that's part of the gift too. Thank you nature. Enlightenment is nothing to be believed. It's just what can't be believed. It's just this present moment. That's it. There's nothing more. The present moment is the gift. That's why it's called the present. The present…the gift. It's the same thing. There's nothing outside of the present moment. Right here, right now, that's where all of the magic is. That's where all the love is. Enlightenment is like realizing you've always been enlightened. Reality is anything that we want it to be. Whatever we focus on becomes reality, whatever we choose becomes reality. If I were to stare at a rock, the experience of that rock would become reality. The rock, itself, doesn't really exist, only the experience of that rock that's real. That's what the real is… the experience itself. Rule number 1 of being God: all of your limitations are imaginary. My ideas about myself as an infinite creator and to this infinite and this magical experience of perfection are all delusional, of course. But also, the ideas that we are not infinite creators of that reality is not perfect are also delusional! Choose your delusions wisely lol. It's all too good to be true. I want to shar this so bad. Even the process of wanting to share it and sharing it is part of the perfection, part of this gift. And if you're trying to catch this elusive gift, you’ve already caught it! You caught it. There's nothing to catch. The whole thing is just a gift. Its right now. It doesn't get any deeper than that. Right now is the gift. Enlightenment will never go away. It's just what is. There's no such thing as not being in the present moment. If you're not in the present moment, where are you? There's nowhere else to go. There's no escaping this gift. It cannot go away. And it's whatever we imagine it is. The past and the future only exist in our imaginations. When you imagine something, that thing becomes your present moment. That becomes your reality The old paradigm was "do the best you can". The new paradigm is "be whatever the fuck you want"

@traveler Sending you good vibes, love, and healing for your trip. Have fun!

hahaha, love it. For riding unicorns, I recommend lucid dreaming. You can go full God mode and create anything

@gswva That enlightenment experience, along with my other ones, was temporary. I don't feel enlightened right now yet I know that I am because I understand that every single moment is part of the perfection. Every moment is Absolute Love. However, There's a difference between knowing these truths and being directly conscious of them. My intuition tells me it's possible to sustain that level of consciousness but I don't know for sure. I certainly don't consider myself enlightened (in the traditional sense) because I am not sustaining that level of consciousness. But maybe attaining that state is just an illusion. I don't know. I don't know anything lol. IME, you'll definitely be able to work on your projects and ideas after enlightenment. If anything, your creative capacities will be greatly expanded. And there's something to be said about surrendering to your thoughts. They are part of the perfection as well, even when it seems like they are taking away from the pureness of being. Thoughts ARE Being. Let yourself breathe. Let yourself think. The thoughts will stop on their own. Don't force it. That doesn't mean don't do practices like meditation and concentration. Just be patient. Hope this helps.

The magic wears off gradually and then I basically return to my normal level consciousness, just with new insights and understanding. Enlightenment doesn't seem to me like it's binary. My intuition tells me enlightenment is Being, and the degree of enlightenment is the degree to which you are aware of Being. And trust me, my ego keeps trying relentlessly to recreate this experience sober and cling to it but there's literally nothing to grab on to. Low levels of consciousness are enlightenment from an enlightened perspective, which seems unhelpful, but it's also true lol. It's kind of mind-bending, yet simple at the same time. Everything is already perfect.

The most helpful thing I've found for shadow work is Teal Swan's book, Shadows Before Dawn. Allow yourself to feel into your emotions as they come up. Be with it. Understand the pain. Ask the pain questions. Allow to black to take over your consciousness and come into the light. Then love it. Forgive yourself and anyone involved. Be patient with yourself. Much love and your healing journey my friend.

@Joshi3 shocking forsure

Thank you, glad you enjoyed! I've been watching actualized.org and infinite waters for like 6 years now so I'll take it as a compliment lol. And that's sweet, I've never heard of a grounding mat before. How do you like it?

Which truth are you referring to?

Fucking terrifying and beautiful. Fitting. And the name haha. Perfect.

@Leo Gura Yeah, my ego hates that. So true through. I just realized my ego was just trying to use awakening to serve itself. Of course. I'm largely viewing awakening as something that will make my life better or more enjoyable, rather than Truth for Truth's sake. That's why I keep trying to cling and grasp enlightenment experiences. I keep reminding myself that there's nothing to grasp. I've been enlightened all along. The present moment has always been here. Yet, the magic subsides. Do you have any tips for integration besides the bread and butter practices (mindfulness, meditation, contemplation, self-inquiry)?

@Leo Gura Yeah, that's insight's been lurking in the back of my mind. I think I'm more afraid of that than anything else. But I guess I won't understand until I have that awakening myself. Does it just keep getting more beautiful and perfect the deeper you go into Truth?

I feel the shift very palpably. It just seems like more people are waking up right now than ever before. Could be confirmation bias, that's why I asked.

@fridjonk Thank you so much

I would love to hear your experiences with dopamine detoxes. Please share any useful tips. A dopamine detox is when you take a break from stimulating activities for a period of time. (A few days to a few weeks). Some activities to avoid while on this detox include: Social Media, Youtube/TV, Music, Video games, Porn, basically any screen time, Sex/masturbation, games, and stimulating foods. The idea is that this will sort of reset your dopamine receptors, and you will be more motivated to do things that used to be boring like working on a project or exercising. I haven't done a dopamine detox before but I'm starting one tomorrow. I would love to hear about your experiences and any tips

I would love to see this. Leo's OG self-actualization inspirational videos were honestly a major turning point in my life. I would love some awakening inspiration from Leo's perspective.

To better help you, what do you feel is keeping you stuck? To start, straight up contemplation helps. Take a moralist duality. Create a story that proves your conventional mortality wrong. Do this over and over and over until you really start to get the point. This can be done with any duality. For example, let's look at "killing is wrong". Make up a story to prove it wrong. Would killing Hitler be wrong if it prevented a genocide? Would killing a dying animal or person in excruciating pain, begging for death be wrong? You get the point. This takes care of the logical side of this problem. The other main problem is the emotional barrier to transcending morality. Again, I could help you better if you provide more information, but the emotional barrier will likely boil down to fear.

@Pilgrimage of Self Thank you, my friend! I'm happy to be of service. And welcome aboard, I'm happy to have you along for the journey

I thought you guys might appreciate this. I'm more than happy to answer any questions you have about the course and my experience with it!

Honestly, ego develops around anything you do. Notice that right now, you have an "anti-new age" ego. All spiritual ego really means is that you identify as someone spiritual. Certainly, some people develop excessively spiritual egos and turn into a self-righteous douchebag with a superiority complex, but mostly, that happens as a result of people doing fake spirituality (according to my intuitions lol). This means people are taking on spiritual beliefs as dogma without actually doing an empirical investigation into reality for themselves. Patrick, I invite you to question that resistance because it sounds like it might be preventing you from developing healthy spiritual practices that can actually help you heal. Maybe ask yourself if there's a parental figure in your life at some point that would not be accepting of a spiritual identity. Just some food for thought

Well said, my friend. I'm certainly taking advantage of this opportunity to turn inward and I think a lot of other people are too. I'm just spitting bullshit here, but my intuition tells me that right now is the biggest period of awakening that Earth has ever seen.

Oh yeah. Doing Kriya concentration every day along with some exercises from Leo's life purpose course. Also, sometimes doing the do-nothing technique.

Right on. Through learning Kriya Yoga, I learned two easy practices that are phenomenal for calming the nervous system, body, and mind: Nadi Shodhana Pranayama and ujjayi breath. These are literally the first two things taught in "Kriya Secrets Revealed".

The people that say believe that nobody should be using psychedelics hold this belief dogmatically. Even within the scientific paradigm, it's obvious that psychedelics can be valuable tools for personal development and pivotal for treating conditions like depression, anxiety disorder, and PTSD. If you're confused, just take a look at some studies. There are plenty. Nevertheless, people cling to their beliefs, ultimately to preserve their ego. The force behind this self-preservation is ultimately fear. Now, this doesn't mean that psychedelics will definitely help you, but theorizing and taking further advice on the issue won't help you figure that out. The only way is to try and to do so responsibly and with an open mind. By the way, what's so terrifying to you about the possibility of developing a spiritual ego?