Just Timothy

Truth is not for everyone and there is absolutely no problem with it. You can't lose in life, it's just a game

Sry for last spam post, was trying to reply to Moksha’s answer but stumbled upon weird bugs. @Moksha thank you, your answer was quite sobering. Btw updated first post with sidestory

Hi! Tomorrow morning (12 hours left!) I will be given general anesthesia shot due to broken arm. Does anyone here experienced any mystical states during it’s duration? Is it worth to try not to fall asleep? Will it be spooky? Any suggestion for this type of experience? @Leo Gura Never tagged you before, but this time I will really appreciate your suggestions Sidestory: I was arm wrestling with my friend during 2cb trip feeling really powerful, giving everything to win, I was trying to become force itself. Then my arm just broke with LOUD excruciating sound. Firstly I didn’t know what the fuck just happened. Then I ran to the bathroom shocked, to put it into cold water. After that I was walking around with part of my arm just hanging in there detached, it was horrifying as hell, I remembered my breakthrough dmt trip instantly. I was loosing my physical shape, it felt like I was falling into void. I walked into my living room and tried to lay down slowly. In one single moment I realized that I broke my arm with my own force, I did my best and it was quite powerful, Carlos Castaneda like, moment for me. I was sweating horribly, feeling fear sometimes but generally I was at pure bliss, feeling happy and peaceful as I am not my body and there is nothing to worry about. Like I didn’t even feel pain at all. Everyone was trying to cheer me up, I was very grateful for that. Then ambulance team came and I switched back to normal state. I feel like to really work on my health after the surgery is done.

I think most people do not really pay attention to music in their heads, even tho it's widely spread phenomenon. I would consider questioning yourself why don't you like it? Because in some sense it is quite stunning expirience, it shows you that you cannot control your thoughts and other "noise" in your head. It just happens to you and thats a absolutely beautiful and freeing type of feeling you can enjoy. Kind of determinism. But that does not mean that you can't stop it if you want, you just need to focus on other senses or just jailbreak it by reproducing other non-music "internal" sounds in your conciousness.

Lemme clear context: In some sense we are alone forever in our reality, thats our existential nature. Everything including people we are having sex with is our conciousness, we are everything. Kind of "In love with themselves" rather then in love with our partner, we are projecting everything, self deceiving ourselves in a way, considering that "I" and "you" don't exist in non-dual worldview. If we are considering the possibility that other "people" do exist, when love act happens "everyone" is in love with themselves. That's all kind of tricky and when i was thinking about all this I realized that I have both male and female sides in me, both needing love and attention. So it makes it possible to love ourselves without needing external partner. Thats in a way how masturbation works. So basically how do you integrate love relationships with non-duality?

Could easily be self confidence thingy. It’s very safe when people need you. It’s a double edge sword tho. I find those girls attractive because they are often authentic, have good understanding of their emotions/intuition and overall very alive and open. Not too spoiled by social culture. Overwhelmed by life but not choked by it.

What do you think about solipsistic aspects of sex? Do you experience loneliness/wholeness of it and how does it make you feel?

After one of my tr1ps I realized that I already have all other figures in me as well, including females. It was even kinda hot. @ivankiss Now imagine all the comments here are “you” talking with yourself : p

Moscow, Russia, 30 y.o. I'm really interested in meeting up with someone from here, PM me to get in touch!