EntheogenTruthSeeker

My family is like having seizures daily just me being loving. They’re burning in suffering like shiva? the ego hates love more than anything, yet it’s constantly chasing it in the wrong means. Thought. Pleasure. Dualistic thinking. Religion. rules. Etc. May god open the hearts and minds of all generations amongst all of infinity❤️?

God tier advice here! My family agreed to do a hug circle once a day for a minute, to any song of our choice. This is an original idea from the magic mushrooms. Love and Self Love is the highest truth, and every cell in my body feels this as I’ve dipped into yellow and Turquoise/emerging coral? again after ego backlash from tripping 5 days ago. Usually, 5 days later, the results pour in. However, I’m just gonna stick with micro-dosing twice a month to avoid homeostasis and severe ego backlash. Big doses don’t serve me anymore, they put me into stage red. All the while, still massively improving my life. I’m aiming to find a sweet spot. being reminded of the mushroom love is key, but not too often.

@Breakingthewall @Salvijus @WelcometoReality @chungii chang thank you all so much??

@hyruga where can I find your ratings and book reviews? I admire this!

Be easy on yourself and focus on ways to increase love, transmutation of nevgative energy, eat more food or meat (whatever you’re imbalanced with), take a retreat in nature if you can handle that, etc. there is hope for healing. It takes me 2 months on average to go from hospital to thriving again be patient and easy on yourself. Love you!:)

Fuck. This place was horrible. This stage red guy tried to out alpha me and patronize me in front of groups of people, so I called him out shoulder to shoulder in front of the entire 30+ people in AA room. Tried to fight me, hegot escorted out, and didn’t speak to me after. So, I embodied stage red as he was trying to see if I was a push-over, and it worked! Yay! Lol left today, so toxic. Stage green facilities and above only. These people know nothing about true causes of addiction, it’s sad, but it is what it is.

Man. I understand why people suppress spirituality and don’t like psychedelics too much, because what would it mean for your entire life? Could you continue living a complacent toxic life thinking you’ve figured it all out and are happy? Nope! The shit I’ve been going through has been so intense backlash. My clairty and happiness has increased, but I’m so ducking sensitive to my family’s low conscious behavior. It’s rage red bullshit and I’d rather live in hotels and friends house than continue living there with my new awareness. I love myself too much to do that. just kinda want support right now. Cause I’m aware how lonley and intense this path can be seeing how all your problems are because of you. But I’m not developed or educated enough to withstand my home situation. I’m raw dogging life and trying to find the positive qualities of red so I can just fucking survive. I’m glad this is happening, as it’s pushing me out of house, but by no means is this pleasant or easy. Psychedelics are not cheating, at all. Lol. If anything it’s hard mode on guitar hero.

Consistent, small dose tripping. Being intuitive. Disciplined. Creative. Etc. Re-reading Mastery and listening to anecdotes have made it more simple for me to try to not figure all this shit out so quickly. Trip mushrooms twice a month, and honestly the rest will work itself out. Repeat for years and years until I am ready for 5MEODMT. Got a lot more ground work and healthy stage purple, red, blue, orange, green, etc. to embody. But mainly work through the lower three stages of SD is crucial for me to move beyond these struggles. im shocked at how much stage red and purple and blue I still need to embody in healthy outlets Namaste?

@Raptorsin7 it really does. But getting back into society is very difficult. It takes months sometimes for me to get back to normal living after a 3 week psych ward. But that’s way more dysfunctional and traumatizing. try it out and report back results!:)

@Terell Kirby amen. I am raw dogging life out here without any illusions of comfort of family, friends, instititutions, etc. this is bare fucking survival and chaos out here in the smack dab on infinity. It’s mysterious and impermanent. Just have to go with the flow. all that being said, im going to a rehab facility for up to 40 days tomorrow. Seems like it’ll be good foundational work. I’ve only been to psych wards, so rehab will be a step up. My main suffering in life is from addiction. So, this should be taken seriously with professionals before trying to evolve too fast. My goal is to not need mushrooms or anything with such severe attachment and find other ways to relieve stress/PTSD/self hate. I’m working on it.

Haha this is awesome and sounds super healing! Feel your body and nature at a deep level. This sounds so amazing. Super glad for you that you had this experience. Seems like it’ll change your life going forward. love your body with nature and the four elements.

Thank you everyone for the support and kindness. @BipolarGrowth and I have worked some things out, and I’m staying there for a while with new ground rules. Feeling great being taken out of the triggering stage red environment. It was beyond bad.

“How is X day at X time?” I don’t have a place of my own. Seems like she does. how do I logistically set something up? Just upfront be like, “let’s grab some tea at X shop first and go from there?” (Hoping we can go to her place?) She also said she had a “boyfriend” however, this seemed like a shit test she had to put up in front of friends to not look like a slut or something. The look in her eyes and the way she proactively was touching me, initiating texting back, all was showing signs of medium-high attraction. Texts from end of party Saturday Halloween party until this morning:

@Adodd amen. @Leo Gura hahaha I know. Detroit is ducking on the come up though. It’s pretty stage green in the city, tbh. Just don’t go near Suburbs. Lot of young affluent people chilling there now.

Detroit became the latest city to “decriminalize nature,” as supporters call it. Proposal E, a ballot initiative passed with 61% of voters supporting a law that will, “to the fullest extent permitted under Michigan law,” make “the personal possession and therapeutic use of entheogenic plants by adults the city’s lowest law-enforcement priority.” https://www.mlive.com/public-interest/2021/11/detroit-mushroom-vote-adds-momentum-to-michigan-efforts-to-decriminalize-psychedelics.html

@flowboy “getting home from a weekend trip and going to bed shortly after” she said, about me asking: “8pm Sunday your place?”. Ask her When is a good time for you? or should I wait a couple days and spontaneously text her if she’s down again? I fucking hate texting logistics

Looks like Leo’s predictions of decriminalization 5 years ago was pretty accurate.

May not work for you, but if you’ve exhausted everything else, celery juice with lemon puts me to sleep basically every time. Weird.

There must be no way Leo has read these books start to finish. What time do you have for integration and experience? Being 23 there is so much action I need to take I feel like reading is near-impossible right now. I always start books and stop them very quickly. Not an ADD thing. My ability to focus and be disciplined with shit is difficult, because life requires much more nuance. Like as soon as I read a book about one subject, I run into another issue I need to fix, so then I ditch that and don’t come back. I’m just in a vicious cycle of doing online information, YouTube, blogs, using my intuition, etc. I would love to read all books or even just 20 but it is just so fucking hard!

Good job! Keep it up!

Title says it all, yes, he actually fucking asked this.. “we ask all our applicants this, so please don’t take offense to this, are you gay?” Should I report this discrimination or just let it slide? Will they even learn their lesson? My fault thinking I could just get paid drumming without dogma and delusion involved. Should probably just stay away and let them grow out of their delusions.

@Terell Kirby be careful though. Have an intuition about when it is appropriate to do it. It can make processing emotions and blockages effortless 5-10mins. But, sometimes you can do it too much and produce another backlash. It’s a grey area. Like psychedelics. Sometimes they can shift your energy, but too much produces backlash.

Visionboard pictures on your phone, in a separate album are 90% more effective and less effort. Scroll through these daily and it takes 30 seconds. once you live the lifestyle of your pictures in a couple weeks via small steps, the positive self talk and affirmations come organically.

I have to take meds after awakenings, because if I don’t, I’ll literally go fully fucking insane and let go of any notion that I’m a human and have ever existed. My consciousness goes infinite and grows infinitely for like 17 hours straight. Even if there are “lows” I’m still processing them with “full enlightenment” (loose term) to the best capability. I am infinitely liberated to act on every impulse and desire. It’s great! But destroys any goals or visions I have. Classic self deception and ego backlash in the form of bipolar disorder. I mean wow. The devil/me/biological survival, does not want me to die at all. Maybe it’s a loving process. How do I shift this paradigm to a more loving and understanding one? I am entering hypomania and I want to fully surrender to the mania in isolation, at some point in my journey, but I don’t have $$$ to do so. I guess I could go to a hospital, but I fear the implications of that for my life again, as I need to fucking work to move out. Yet, what I fear I attract. What I resist, persists? So maybe go to hospital now to avoid a longer stay of weeks/months?

So, I’ve never felt a darker presence before in a place. Even psych wards were lighter, energy wise. This place was beyond dense and full of delusion, beyond comprehension. It’s like a center for raw vegan/growing food/new age, etc. It was some shady building in a very odd part of town. I walk into this place, intrigued by a facade of spirituality and “awakening” in my local area. I was staring at the posters and information for like 15 minutes before I even talked to anyone, which was kinda weird to start. And, let me tell you, there were posters/new age propaganda everywhere. Then, I approach the restaurant counter, mind you, this place is as quiet as it can be. No music. No customers in sight, no one in parking lot, too. So, I was greeted by a lady who looked very unhealthy all around, which was kinda weird as an owner of a raw vegan center. As soon as she opened her mouth for 30 seconds, I realized she was completely off the rails, full blown schizophrenic. I couldn’t understand 80% of what she was saying at all times. So, anyways, this isn’t to demoralize schizophrenic people but a critic of the dangers of stage green culture/dogma and how it is very limited/delusional. She shows me around “the museum” and leads me to this secret door, takes me inside this little room with conspiracy propaganda and crazy ass articles and all the like you could expect from an unhinged stage green. 5G, miracle water, Corona BS, the earth has no core?, we are in the devil’s solar system? It just went on and on. I literally have no clue how she’s running a center like this and is functional? I’ve never met a stage green in such a toxic form in my life. She was full of so much contraction, hate of the “other”/society, etc. I honestly have compassion for her, because I couldn’t imagine how much she suffers trying to save the world from supposed evil forces. Seems exhausting. When I was eating my food, I was contemplating, and felt an overwhelming dark feeling from everything I just saw. It was not me being “judgmental” “projecting” “close minded”, etc. I was literally gaslighting myself, but I realized that my feelings were valid and that I am not able to be in stage green places too much, because it’s way too underdeveloped and cult like for my liking. I realized that I am emerging stage yellow, because there’s no way I can fall for such horseshit. It felt like there was some shady ass shit that must have gone on there, cult like stuff. “No phones allowed past this door” sign, wtf? The other girl that worked there looked extremely unhealthy too, not physically or whatever, but just like, I can’t describe it. By “unhealthy” I mean, like soulless, massive shadow, and almost as if demons or some sort of dark energy was living inside of these people/the place. The place felt like anti-life. It felt dead. Maybe this was my stage blue reaction, but it was not an intellect thing. It was a feeling of intense soulless darkness. Mainstream and religious places were more happy, lighter, and more developed than this place! I know one experience doesn’t mean all stage green is nonsense. This is an extreme edge case, but I mean still pretty shocking this stuff is literally 20 mins form my place. Like wtf? Any innocent young person looking for a deeper truth, stumble upon this place and get their lives sucked into delusion/potential cult/exploitation? I understood at this moment, that this is why spirituality is rarely explored deeply or talked about, in mainstream. It’s incredibly dangerous and unhealthy when done half-assed, without proper epistemology and healing of shadow. This was really showing me why I never want to repeat the mistakes I’ve made while in mania. So glad to see it from the outside now. Basically, I felt so heavy leaving that place and immediately listened to Leo’s cult psychology for 40mins to integrate what I felt. I feel like if I wouldn’t have been more careful, I could have walked into some dangerous cult so easy. No one is immune to being exposed to this stuff. Exploring is dangerous, comes with risk! I lost my best-friend to new age conspiracies/unquestioned dogma. Really sad to be honest, he was such a loving guy. Now he’s so bitter and angry at the world. I really need to study epistemology more, and never expect Actualized.org like spirituality anywhere I find in the world. It will never be enough, truthful, light, pure, or holistic enough for me. I know this path here is the most comprehensive and safe, out of everything I’ve studied/encountered. The Highest Truth will never be found in groups, masses, mainstream anything, for the most part.