EntheogenTruthSeeker

We know he does mushrooms, and AYa with meagan fox.

Every single person you see out in the world is at a war with themselves others and the world and don’t even know they’re doing it. There is so much resistance and “shoulds” and a lack of love and radical acceptance of the situation and the others state of consciousness. Everyone is resisting what is inherently real about reality in the most sober state, which blows my mind, because they will never be able to accept reality as it is on psychedelics then. Scary shit. and yet as I write this, I’m resisting the resistance! Lmao. It’s an infinite mindfuck.

@VeganAwake very beautiful said! How many “awakenings” have you had? Meditation hours? Psychedelics?

All this spiritual shit and health issues, living in the same town, etc. I just feel so disconnected from society after Covid, I have social anxiety from being alone so much, and my body physically can hardly handle a 5 hour shift. I get home and want to fucking break everything because I have so much anger that I’m 23 living in my home town, working with fucking teenagers in a mall. Like what the Fuck? Chasing spiritual enlightenment at 18 was the stupidest shit I’ve ever done. It feels like I can’t fit in society anymore. No job is satisfying. I feel like I just want to live at home working on my music, and isolate some more. Or maybe that’s self deception. Working just gives me no joy. Starting a new job is so stressful and everyone is so low conscious at this retail place I want to die. (first day, so I’m being dramatic, however, I’ve quit every other job first day last 9 months I start and leave -2jobs so far)

@flowboy great insight! Thanks! Do you have a video for how to do that technique? Also, sorry everybody. I did not see you all respond to this until now or I was too depressed to respond at the time

Sorry to hear about this. 370 days of psych wards in 4 years, so I feel your pain. Detoxing my body and eating raw fruits and veggies, not working- did wonders for me, personally. I wonder what that solution would be for you, that would greatly move you forward or prevent stress?

Meditation definitely helps. How long have you been doing personal development?

@Nahm doing it Monday. Thanks for all the responses and support Nahm. It may seem like no big deal, but it really helps me get through these struggles with you and everyone else’s help.

@Average Investor @Lyubov @Nahm doing basically all things suggested here. It’s not my routines, it’s the added stress that my body can not handle as it’s too abrupt for my nervous system. Take away which doesn’t work, not fix what is already fucked by adding. I appreciate the advice, just feel like I need to quit cause it’s not worth it. I feel like a failure, but my health is very bad right now. It feels like spiritually too, I want to hibernate and prepare for this new spiritual age. I have a lot of development to do, and I’m really scared. I feel like now is the best time to do the inner work. I’m thinking about quitting tomorrow. This is not worth going to another hospital because of stress. I haven’t been able to move today. Severe adrenal burnout.

@Javfly33 I am grateful for it. I’m just spoiled and health issues make it very hard to see the good of pushing my body past it’s capabilities daily. For what? Ive abused adderall/coffee/nicotine/fast food/heavy protein/ proper dosage of pharmaceuticals for bipolar (in the past for 8 years), so they’re still damaged after a two month detox. I’m currently sober- only edibles and mushrooms. These are the only things and grapes that help.

I feel you on this deeply.

Yeah that can happen. Smoking, fun music, calling a friend, etc. can help chill you out. Still enjoy the day and don’t have any responsibilities. You’ll still get something out of the after effect.

@kamwalker thank you bro. Exactly.

@B_HAZ @Bob Seeker @Average Investor @ItsNick @Lyubov @Nahm @EmptyVase Thanks again for all the valuable insight, everyone. I have Adrenal Burnout after 13 hours of working/2 days. I’m exhausted beyond belief and my adrenals are fucked right now. I can hardly prepare food. What do I do to recover for work tomorrow? After tomorrow I get 3 days to rest. I’m eating grapes and that should help, but I’m not sure if fasting is good for adrenal burnout?

@ItsNick @Lyubov amazing advice you two. I really appreciate. I will take action on this stuff and get working on my life purpose again. I got so sidetracked with detox/spirituality and now the balance is off again. So frustrating about life how you can never relax. There’s always an area of your life that gets fucked when you improve another one

He says “I’ve never been the same since. This fearlessness” saying he’s found his true self. the explanation of how it isn’t comfortable for everyone else for him to be this way. Idk. I’m kind of assuming as he is into spirituality and did Ayuascha recently

I feel like the vision I have for the world will put me in a position to be assassinated. I hope I can live to fulfill all my dreams while being Awake, but it seems like I’ll be more of a sacrifice than having an easy life. that’s okay though. I’m not asking for advice, just some support, because these levels of love and honesty are so scary to embody/spread to others. the Truth is too threatening but it can’t be suppressed any longer. I am going to die for Love, period.

@softlyblossoming dude just start with one lemon into your water, 1X a day. Do this whenever you want, and slowly build the health. It’ll take patience and a little bit of conscious thought.

@Mafortu this is exactly my issue. Thank you so much for the accuracy and clarity of your understanding.

@Average Investor @Bob Seeker @B_HAZ thank you so much guys. This really helped. I work at a 100% girls retail store in the mall, with sexy chicks walking in on a minute to minute basis. So, not knowing where stuff is and shit can get embarrassing/intimidating, when hot girls see you’re clueless about your job. The whole point and vision I took this job was to get my fashion style on point, experience talking to sexy women and get paid for it, and get integrated into society. Im also going to brainwash myself with mastery concepts again.

Wow, wow, wow, I can’t believe the progress I have made within these two months. After @BipolarGrowth and I explored our various interests, desires, shared new experiences, it was time to decompress and integrate everything learned. The failures and positives from our experience, as well the entire bipolar year of my life/chronic health issues. So, today, I realized a Meta amount of Meta-Lessons within a 3 hour isolation nature adventure. These lessons are a reflection and a closing of my previous 5 Years of Extreme Spiritual Seeking 2000-4000 hours, relationship/women 700+ approaches, raw/cooked vegan 2 years, NoFap two years, bodybuilding to peak fitness/six pack, music endeavors, platonic friendships, etc. The insights from all of that are distilled here, but not directly talked about. This Halloween is the 5 year anniversary of pursing enlightenment and reading The Book of Not Knowing as first Non-Dual book. Distinguish the Absolute Insights with relative insights for my life only. My personal insights may apply to some of you, but I’m not speaking dogmatically with relative shit. I’m writing this to myself, basically. — •The purpose of life = to LOVE. Love is Truth. Love is fundamental. Love is prior to anything. Love is It! It transcends any stage or state of consciousness that you can imagine. Even alternate realities of you being tortured are Love, for an amazing and beautiful way. Cause, why would existence want to limit itself if it could create everything imaginable? If you loved yourself so much and others, you would want to create infinite freedom of possibilities. And, this comes with costs obviously, but honestly, the suffering attached to existence is SUCH a small price for the payout and infinite love/beauty of Truth. Second purpose, comes Compassion for all beings, circumstances, but even this is extremely limited and not fundamental, because a part of you feels sorry and rejecting of how hard reality is. Therefore, this limits your love to being slightly conditional, with the assumption: “suffering should be reduced, shouldn’t exist, some people shouldn’t suffer so much”. Listen, I agree, but it is NOT the #1 fundamental truth of reality, compassion is more like a thought/feeling, etc., rather than a transcendent substance of reality, IMO. •Loving your physical body with proper detox protocols, balanced eating of animal products to ground you vs living food with extraordinary energy is #1 fundamental to all self-actualization work, before psychedelics and enlightenment. The latter will not be successful without fully detoxing your body top to bottom at least once in your life for a good 2-3 months. This has never been done by me, and my baseline consciousness/spirituality has increased literally 30X-infinite fold. Everyday I grow, quadruple from the last, in multidimensional, unexplainable, mysterious, and mystical ways. The shedding of the ego is INCREDIBLY easy and natural when you get the ego on board with a detoxifying lifestyle, so then you welcome and love the letting go of old non-serving egoic beliefs/habits. If you can’t reach pseudo-enlightenment states sober after 5+ years of self actualization/serious enlightenment efforts, detox for a way that works for you is top priority. Newbies must listen to this advice or will fall behind 99% of their potential in life, straight up. •Rebounding/mini trampoline jumping, moving your lymphatic system/physical body DAILY, is the real only solution to have a boundless energy, self-expressive life. Otherwise, if you’re not moving your body or getting everything flowing, you will begin to accumulate blockages: spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Do not undermine how important a $40 trampoline from your local Walmart could be for your health and spirituality. It increases lymph flow by 15X, apparently. •Rebounding is the FASTEST way to facilitate spiritual purging, releases, purification of any kind. This makes awakening effortless, to be honest. I’m not worried about meditating anymore, because I can just do this, and get breakthrough awakenings literally just from fucking bouncing for 20 minutes. LOL! •friends are not as important or life-long as I assumed. “Best-friends” is an illusion. Out growing people, or being too underdeveloped for a friend, etc is all a part of life and this path. You will outgrow many of your old friends who choose to live an unconscious toxic life full of ideology. You will no longer resonate, but this opens you up to have a greater loving relationship with relationships, so you attract the highest vibrational people on the planet for your liking. Excellence and excellence thrives and attracts. Do not underestimate how valuable a social circle and relationships can be for awakening/life purpose. Also, it’s okay to ghost people when you’re not doing well, a true friend will be there when you’re thriving again. •Psychedelics are the GOAT to cure mental illness. I don’t have much more to say about this, because just find out for yourself how this transforms your entire mental health in a matter of 2 years. Not even possible to grow this fast in 2 years. I went from being an immature psychotic suicidal fool, to Self-Actualized (actualizing my own personal desires and values) at 23, after getting my physical detox and diet at 110%. •Sexuality can NOT be avoided, or suppressed. Transcending sexuality is NOT the same thing as avoiding sex. There is great nuance and intelligence in being able to be non-attached to the pleasure of sex and to all of existence, but enjoy sex as a part of the divine. THAT is where it’s at and when your sexual value skyrockets from anything your local fuckboy is capable of giving a women, they will beg for this type of masculinity. •Parents/family is not as virtuous as people make it seem. With the veneer of “love” just like a cult. It’s fucking survival at the end of the day. You grow to love them. It’s really not as deep as people make it. There is so much conditional love and hate in families all around the world, because families are about SURVIVAL, not Absolute Truth and Undying Love, lol. That’s a call you must answer to on yourself, because it’s a solo journey by definition. There is only YOU. God. •I Am God awakenings must be disclosed to Actualized/Experienced Psychonauts only! I have gotten myself into so much social trouble, mental ward visits, and family trauma from simply stating I’m God. It’s fucking ridiculous how close-minded and ignorant people can occasionally be, but I don’t blame them, because this path is super dangerous to anybody’s survival. I’m lucky I made it out alive and not in a psych ward or jail, permanently. Lol. •Life experience, feminine ways of enjoying yourself with friends, family, girls, parties, concerts, occasional recreational drug usage, retreats, adventures, driving around with no destination, etc. are all BEYOND valuable while doing this extremely strenuous self-actualization work. I got extremlyyyyyy bitter and hateful of the world, full of dis-ease, while neglecting this fundamental purpose of life: Enjoy the love, finite rare experience as a human, share the love with other beings, create memories. I mean this is REALLY the whole reason anyone does this work, is to ENJOY life!!! If you’re doing self help to just hide away in a cave, that’s a sad ass reality. The love is exponentially enjoyable when it is shared and given to humanity!!! •Self love and basic hygiene, alone time, diet, strong ass boundaries with toxic energy drainers, are so key here. •Girls are most attracted to me when I am detoxed as fuck with infinite levels of love, happiness, radiant glowing skin and joy, compassionate, assertive and knowing what I desire of my God Self authentically without apology, being humorous, playful, flexible, yet at the same time, very clear about my intentions and boundaries. •I feel like a god damn child again, WTF! So glad to be back home. I ventured off into “sin” and death, way too irresponsibly. I abused drugs, my body, and neglected myself for too long. I did NOT have to go to these extremes to learn lessons. I traumatized myself and everybody that knew the pure/happy me for 8 years straight. Hell is a state of consciousness, and the suffering can’t even compare to being just burned in a place down below, lmao. •People have gaslighted me way too much on this journey. Be more avoidant, unavailable, skeptical, and screen people way more intensely before letting them join my self-actualization journey. Because, anyone of my friends that I have let into my life on this journey, have left because I outgrew them or they couldn’t handle the rawness and radical Truth of this journey. Do NOT expect nearly any of your mainstream friends to ever go along with you to the peak of the hero’s journey. Most people have little ambition or desire to want this lifestyle. It take a combination of lucky circumstances, drive, resources, lack of traumatic experiences, balance, etc. it takes a 10000% commitment to make it though to the end of this journey, even if it fucking kills you! At least you died trying! Obviously, be responsible, safe, and cautious, but there is great risk in this work. Anything could happen! Someone could shoot you for simply talking about the facets of awakening or God to the wrong ideological/hateful/inverted being. •Live this life like it’s your last. Everything is impermanent, so that means that you’ll never, ever, ever, ever, have any of the experiences you have had again. Every moment is unique, in every way possible. Reality is always evolving to infinite levels of uniqueness from our human view. It’s always been infinitely unique from the beginning, truthfully. •Improving your consciousness radically rubs off on everyone you know or associate with in your life via quantum mechanics. •Drug abuse is the most limited, contracted, miserable way of living, IMO. Unimaginable levels of suffering with addiction to hard substances. •Sobriety doesn’t mean sober 100%. It’s a lifestyle of clean conscious living. Being present and intuitive. It’s a deep topic. •Mastery in anything requires at least 10 years of consistent, loving, slow paced effort/theory, and experimentation. •Life purpose and dating can not be ignored, despite illusions of enlightenment spiritual bypassing. Life is not enjoyable just being enlightened. Share the fucking love, god dammit! •Quitting my successful band and University was the best choice I ever made, now that I’ve made it through the hell of this chapter. Looking back, I’m way better off than old self, and almost everyone I know from high school/college long-term. I’m on a clear and conscious trajectory. Most people are just accepting fate/success like a leaf blowing in the wind by fluke chance. They don’t understand the deep mechanics and truth of almost anything, it’s all surface level living. No fucking thanks! Haha. Their life’s are revolving around pleasure, and avoidance of pain. They are NOT interested in Truth, Depth, Absolute Consciousness, the fullness of reality, feeling every possible thing, becoming God, or any of that. This is a rare thing to want, precisely because of how hard it is to follow your heart enough to even set the stage for the initial desire of enlightenment!!! •my lows are insanely low and no-fucks given, yet my highs are insanely high and also no-fucks given. Feelings have been intensified, feeling new feelings, and just in general extremely sensitive to consciousness. This is where life is at. You become relatable to every fucking being knowing you’ve experienced emotions/thoughts/trauma and joy they have experienced, in a human and divine way. You are so down to earth, understanding, compassionate, wise, etc. you become magnetic, as long as your physical health is top notch. Even then, people like you way more, despite it. It’s a Being thing. When people get to know you, they’ll be like WTF, you’re so deep!? Lmao. It’s the best compliment. •Work/money/independence/healthy orange is a must to stay grounded, practical, fit in with peers/clients/society, and actualize any visions of grand success. •Suffering can be our greatest teachers, conscious or not, as long as you have a commitment to never kill yourself or see this path all the way through. That keeps you going through horrifying times, where NO one is there to help you. No mom or dad or doctor can save you from your suffering, sometimes, not even God. Cause maybe you’re supposed to feel it and learn from it, rather than avoid or “transcend” it. —— Anyways, I’m exhausted writing all of this. I could literally talk for Infinity about what I have learned, but let’s just say that these last 5 years were Pure Horror, and torture. Being strapped to hospital beds, being injected with shots in my ass, people fighting me, cops, family issues, chronic health issues, losing every friend I had, etc. I was .0001% away from physically dying one time, but vowed to not be a devil anymore, and God had mercy on me. This was no fucking joke. I’ll write about this experience, one day. It happened after my 500+ hour 247 Two Month meditation retreat. This entire “failure” has just been a giant learning lesson from ego backlash, and the middle way. Rushing to enlightenment is the stupidest thing, once you are noticing your life falling apart. Autistically chasing it, without smelling the flowers, will result in massive degrees of suffering. This doesn’t mean enlightenment should be easy. It’s the hardest thing you can do. But, make it at least a pace you can continue without burning out and quitting for life, or killing your self from an ego-backlash. Trust me, I tried, it’s not fucking pretty. Anyways, I love you all so deeply over these last 6 years of Leo/forum. I had an old account “mrkvn8” back in 2016-2019, if y’all want to see how horribly I struggled in real-time after my 60 day retreat. I was so embarrassed by my past mistakes, I created a new account. Lmao. Namaste! Last thing, music is the epitome of beauty and love. It’s so helpful on this path, and necessary, IMO. It makes or brakes the fun of it. Listening to music depending on your state of consciousness elevates and helps process your contemplation much easier. I’m a 13 year musician, so maybe that makes sense, lol. ❤️

And it seems like I don’t want to be around society or at a retail store; because why do people need to consume more? They don’t NEED any of this shit. It’s all ego. I’m just burnt out from all the suffering and misery in this desolate planet right now. So much darkness is coming out I can’t handle it.

Holy shit these past three days have been insane. I apologize for posting so much but this is celebration of how far I’ve come and that I’ve made it to my definition of awakening and self actualization, even though I don’t “have” everything I want, yet. Im content dying right now on the spot and never playing music around the world, inspiring nonduality consciousness world wide, but either way, no one can kill the vision I built. So, someone will carry the torch if I get killed for being too loving. I sense it will happen, I’m no joke. I will die for love right now, for any reason at all. Radical stuff and I just want to play concerts to millions and billions of people all around the world. I just hope I don’t die before I can do this. That would be sad to chase enlightenment my entire life and realize i never truly lived my dreams..

Sober experience, for the most part, by the way. I am infinitely ignorant and enlightened, life by life, incarnation by incarnation, for infinity. and ultimately, that lead to the realization that when I die will merge with the formless for eternity. There’s no care to try to convince any of you of a experience that is 100% transcendent and personal/unverifiable unless you do the work. Even then, this may not happen for you cause it’s not your path? Idfk who cares, lol. Humor is coming back rapidly, and god is changing everybody in my immediate life on radical radical levels. detoxed my body and all this spiritual energy has unleashed to infinity. Love other. Love yourself. Love reality. The rest will result in more love than you could ever ask for or handle. Namaste bitchez.?

How I went from Suicidal 247 -> Self-Actualized in Two Months. Love. Basic Habits too easy to accomplish. And more love. Show genuine interest in understanding yourself, others, and the universe. That’s all you need, as well as overly-ambitious curiosity to see the end of this journey. 100% commitment to stay alive until natural causes, because I have too much spiritual potential to change the entire fabric of how humans live. Namaste?❤️ Thank you Nahm, @bipolar_growth, Rob, Leo, and everyone who responded to my post: “Any attempt at improvement results in suicidal suffering”. — Before and After pics included..