EntheogenTruthSeeker

I abuse my body and mind with drugs. So off normal baseline and over workout to go to bed lol (THC RSO/Edibles/Smoking/Pen , Coffee 1-2 cups, Adderall 5-10mg, Nicotine vaping like twice a week, sulbutiamine which made me angry/hypomanic/irritated 100%, drank 3 beers last week after a couple months/years sober - I dislike drinking/so low conscious) The problem: These drugs DO help. However, the makeshift chemistry will never work. I NEED a week to withdrawal from weed because I don't sleep without it and I have MAJOR mania issues with no sleeping without it, before even thc, so this is the heaviest and most rational addiction. I wake up tired all the time from the amount I need to go to bed from all the stimulants and overworking out to cope, never works. What’s the point of shit if nothing ever completes? Like I am struggling physically and emotionally and health wise, yet no one one thing is going to help or truly satisfy? What’s the point of eating healthy and psychedelics if it will never satisfy? Everyday is a brutal struggle to find what supplements or drugs will make me feel normal and able to not walk out of my job from exhaustion, stress, fatigue/lethargy, anger, and emotional beat down. And to start habits as working out is so hard. Then, every thing I hope will make things getter and it really doesn’t. I gave no consistency. 2.5 before work, no matter what, I’m getting up and doing. A routine. And the sobriety path is so blue and dogmatic and unappealing yet I know it’s the move. Like I just want to be healthy. I really don’t care about sobriety. The orange capatalism taken to its max is miserable rat race — Alright so a rant about society and stage orange materialism -I am so exhausted of this 40 hr 9-5 slave job with no compensation to live on my own -massive drug addiction and don’t have more than 2 days to recover from drug wreckage -I spend so much money on food and weed because I can never plan anything cause I am always depressed and tired or wired from Adderall —— Things I have found work: -20-1hr of working out : sauna, 4mins run, 5X5 lift -Sobriety/Sleep/wake 2 hrs before work to workout — Things I think will work: Plan activities and chores for throughout the week with 20 min increments. Stop weed usage and workout nut instead. Homeworkout to wake up first thing or when gym closed. No excuses. 2mins of working out is an instant high and clarity Look up supplements to increase oxygen to the brain. These work the best for my focus and mood and organization and comprehension! Post-Mortem on Health revolution Microdose / 2week routine of mushroom, however I am too unambitious to seek the resources as I live with parents who are very controlling I just want to take a week to get sober. Put in my vacation at work tomorrow for Thursday and Friday off. — Notes I observed: after getting back from hospitals I am relatively happy and healed and calm and physically feel pretty good by resetting my nuerotransmitters and I learn and all that shit. But overall sobriety is only optimistic to me if I am able to find a passion, feel healthy when I wake up, not have to talk myself into every thing I have to do, I walk into work optimistic and looking forward rather than dreading being exhausted and stressed all day. ALL I want is CLARITY! Life sucks if you dont have healthy routines to balance out work. Those hours after work are beyond crucial. Stimulants make you so hyper focused you actually get no shit done because you are obsessed with how happy you feel and you just do whatever brings YOU the most pleasure. Even if I get through the physical withdrawals, the emotional and mental obsession with :”will I be okay at work today. Will I want to binge on drugs when I get hoe because of how I underperformed today without drugs” << this drug addiction is so deep rooted I am SOOOO sick of this shit. Literal demons begging me for coffee everyday convincing me I will have a horrible sluggish day if I don’t, and usually do. So frustrating that the cures for addictions cost THOUSANDS and are ILLEGAL and the people who suffer the MOST from addictions HAVE NO MONEY!!!! I am so busy slaving at 9-5 I have no vacation, nor money to change < excuses, but is practical and true. I never knew how miserable adult life, everyone is, how difficult good health is, how COMPLICATED and hard even living a 9-5 is. However, my body CAN NOT take more than a 40hr week to build a biz. Until my health is better, there is no way. I am a veggie after work and weekends. I feel so stuck. And to be happy I hear from Leo you need EXCELLENCE, not mediocrity. However, I am convinced with my energy and lazy levels, I am not built for that passionate and stressful life. *If I overwork or stress myself, I go into mania and go to hospitals for weeks at a time, 40hr is my max. Suggestions/y’all relate? Wow life can beat you the fuck down.

@Nahm I am so amazed you do this for free, LOL! Your advice is $250 a month gold. Definitely gonna check out your work! thank you so much for this feedback. Really best reply I’ve ever gotten on this forum. I guess my depth of description allowed you to be very accurate too. so spiritually inspiring. I need to stop judging spirituality so bad because I lost my focusing abilities and mental health so it’s REALLY hard to be content in any moment cause my mind is bat shit uncontrollable sometimes. When I’m having health issues, low sleep; manic, adrenaline, coming off caffeine/Adderall, the whole just be content in the moment is out the window! I’ve tried countless times and I’m quite the experienced meditator. 5+years and lots of study. Whenever my brain needs better chemicals or rest, THAT will help my joy, not meditating cause I’m doing that 247 as resting awareness through out my day. The hardest part of my day is just dealing with the physical health issues. Spiritually I’m connected. However, when those chemicals dip from stims and stuff, there’s no way I am going to find enjoyment, my mind is SO miserable and sidetracked it’s just not likely. what’s the link between neurotransmitters, focus, content awareness? Cause if you have clinical depression, say goodbye to enlightenment! For 90% people.

@Preety_India I really appreciate your replies lately, Preety India, you have some really good wisdom and patience on this forum. I love it! good vibes. I completely agree. As soon as the weed is decreased and the exercise routine is everyday for a week or two, I should be good?

So, I’m 22 male and my life is like a 6.5/10, I have a good job but only $3000 in bank and make $1300 a month living with parents no expenses but food and gas. I feel very disappointed with life though. I bust my ass at work with no compensation to live on my own. 40+ hours 12/hr as an assistant teacher. I’ve had many life changing and good restarts with psychedelics, I’ve healed my mental health conditions, good diet, comfortable being alone, etc. I am extremely ready and open to it. My family life is toxic and my mom is screaming almost every night I get home from work and demonizes me for weed/psychedelic/enlightenment. So, a new apartment is crucial, however I feel like before I really start my life, I am dying everyday, literally, to experience the highest truth. I try so hard with meditation and it gets me fucking nowhere after five years!!!!! Lolll fuck that shit. I contemplate 247 and meditate and really no results. I have poor brain functioning ever since a kid, verryyy slow ADD. also microdosing 5meo seems very good for my health and meditation. Does anyone know if at Arkana 5meo retreat you can just pay for the bufo 175 and not the entire 3K$ Aya retreat? Love & Cheers! Let all these beings read this be inspired by The Spirit Molecule

Interesting, but good safety video for people who think this is a hard drug lol.

In front of thousands lol. green vs blue

So, I Love and am fascinated by understanding life and experiencing union with Me. a rant- maybe However, as I look out in the world more, I am SHOCKED how ignorant and gullible spiritual circles are. Spiritual people seem more detached from reality than the common person before they have a mystical experience. I was that before; but I just don’t know why this practical psychedelic method is not the #1. I hate to say it but Leo’s way really saved my ass a lot for spirituality, even though I’m not close to woke. like the average person I talked to in Sedona was fun to talk to, but damn, not very awaken epistemologically they just trade western dogma for eastern dogma I know someone who does this and now believes in false equivalencies. Everything is a puppet show with some evil plot coming out soon. Amazing how people can change so quickly to toxic world views. like: nofap as a religion number synchronization vegqn dogma anti vaccine hippies People thinking they’re woke talking about matrix, conspiracy theories;who watch joe rorgan elite demonizing, when the spiritual person has no ability to hold a responsibility of such demand gemini and star stuff obsessively MANIFEST ANYTHING- Nothing is off limits. A galactic shift in consciousness! People are waking up. The Mayans were right! Now or never! leo is right. All these spiritual people want to make you feel special. All bullshit. In their minds. most green people are worse in a sense because there’s no need to study things rigorously. They believe what they want with little to no questioning as long as it’s not mainstream. Does me seeing through this equal a yellow awakening? I understand this was judgmental and negative, just some venting with all these woke warriors during the pandemic lol.

Some of your best videos in my opinion as motivation. when are you doing those other research chemicals better than 5meo?

*20-70MG edibles I meant

I have had SO many problems with insomnia and mania. the ONLY thing that would get me to sleep manic is smoking weed. best tip: 20-40 mg should do the job. Okay to even go up to 60-70 and you’ll be out FOR SURE. good luck!

Amen.

Hi, After work I am exhausted and the bars are empty on the weekends. Suggestions?

So, I have had ADHD/ADD my entire life, to the point where I was almost special ed for how slow I would test take, read, and follow directions. Been taking meds for this on and off since I was 15yo (22 now and still live at home like a bum). Anyways, I take it and for once I feel like my brain is functioning properly again (20mg instant release). 5 hours of intense focus. To me, this is WAY better than an enlightenment breakthrough because I seriously lack in this orange level of productivity and motivation. Coffee and Weed are good stabilizers when side effects kick in. Questions: •Okay to meditate on Adderall? My focus is such shit normally I get absolutely nowhere with my practice. •Anyone been able to Self Actualize or Transcend while using/ anyone’s experiences with it?

It can’t be that it’s just people with a shadow that end up in psych wards. I have direct experience with mushrooms sending me into psychosis, insomnia, and mania. That happened only once from doing 10-15grams all the while realizing everything is heaven and I’m god. But the next two days all I was doing was crying and couldn’t sleep the second day, then went into mania and hospital. it seems there’s a bias on this forum that they’re just underdeveloped people getting themselves into trouble, but what about individual brain chemistry? done psychs 8-9 times with success aside from that recent one. ive talked to many people in psych wards that got fucked off psychedelics. Someone please light some clarity on this. I feel like Leo is not compassionate about this because he claims he’s had good mental health. He has like perfect neurochemistry it seems.

So, long story short, I was in the bath, and this thing.. came out of thin air and just appeared on my left leg. Seemed like it was a part of me or a purging. At the time I thought it was corona. how does anyone explain this shit? looks very low consciousness. So weird.

@Bulgarianspirit glad to hear you’re better. What source do you have for the last paragraph?

@Member lol I honestly should have. I’ll find out on my deathbed what that was I hope?

@roopepa Bro, I 1000% relate to your story. It’s like things and people are sending you “signs” and it seems like everything is leading you to some spiritual mountain and that the world is revolving around you (kinda schizophrenic basically) Same thing happened to me. i am so obsessed with psychedelics as that’s part of Leo’s whole education, so it takes a while to let go of that belief that you can’t get there without them. It sucks but it’s better than spending your time in hospitals. sad, but true. DM if you want to talk more!

@Nahm I did fuck up by doing too much, but it fucked me up for like two weeks after. I was sleeping like 2-3 hrs a night. Not cool. It can’t be spiritually solved at that point - I just get drugged at a hospital to recover. It is what it is at this point.

@Leo Gura thanks a lot. Sad that such a great resource is gone. Guess rasa and normal practices now.

I promise it's real, and no I was not high. I seriously have no clue at all what that is. It magically appeared on my leg as I was staring at my leg right before it appeared. But obviously proving this is impossible because I flushed it down the toilet@Tim R @wavydude @Member @Mu_

@Leo Gura hahaha ask to speak to the supervisor. gold. How many years do you think it'll take until the god from Neale Donald Walsh would consider us an "advanced and enlightened society"?

@Dodo no. Crazy shit. It has me so puzzled. Literally just appeared on my leg. Right before my eyes. Did not seem holy, yet it is?