Byun Sean

I would first encourage you to look inward at why you need them to change and grow so bad. Why aren't they already perfect the way they are in your eyes whether they grow or not? Sounds like you have an underlying agenda. Dig that up first. Thats your gold nugget right there. People sense when you are needy for them to act a certain way or change. It puts pressure on them making them want to stay right where they are.

consciousness imagines all boundaries

@Alfonsoo Be careful of trying to get others to grow before they are ready. Moving up the spiral is not an easy or necessarily quick process for everyone. If you try to force anything on anyone in hopes they will grow, it may be counter productive and make them defend their original frame of mind in an even stronger way. People will only be available for change or growth when they are open to it or seeking it themselves. In the case of the stage blue person. They need to become aware of the faults of their belief system on their own time and how it is limited. This is a delicate process and people can easily get very defensive about this stuff. Focus on your own growth first and help others only when they ask for it or are clearly open to it.

as a soul you are infinite love. You came into this life wanting to experience not just the good times. But the ugly and bad times as well. In this way the universe gets to experience all of it's finite possibilities that are a part of infinity. Don't sweat it. Learn to love and be grateful for negative situations as much as positive ones and through that process, they will make you wiser.

don't overthink it. If a guy is into you he will come to you. But also don't do any of the "play hard to get" business. Be available and show interest when he shows interest. Be genuine. Don't 'try' to seduce him as he will probably pick up on it as neediness. Simply being yourself will show that you are confident in yourself and love yourself regardless of what you get from the world in return. This quality is extremely hot in males and females.

stop chasing and turn inward and do your own spiritual work. If she really is your twin flame the universe will bring you two together when you both are ready. Look up "runner chaser dynamic twin flames" on youtube. You might find some useful stuff there.

its your job to study the models and determine for yourself what is true and what is not. Otherwise your just believing an external authority figure or relying on them to find the truth for you. Study the models and use them as one of your many lenses to look at reality through but don't mistake the map for the territory.

If you feel ready and motivated to go balls to the wall with pursuing consciousness and enlightenment because that is what fulfills you and brings you passion and joy in life, then I'd say go for it. But if it feels like you are doing it to escape suffering or you feel like its the only thing you "should" be doing with your time or something along those lines I'd say it would be better to take it slower and do other things you would like to do. (relationships, career and life purpose, etc). From personal experience, enlightenment is by far the most fulfilling thing you can ever "do" for yourself in life. But the more you try to rush the process, the further away it may be. Liberation is about surrendering to suffering not running away from it. Enlightenment is not somewhere else. It is Truth. right here and now. By treating it as somewhere else or some goal you want to achieve in the future all the time you can easily get lost in your mind this way and disconnected from being. Also you may find it hard to pursue enlightenment if you haven't met some of your lower base needs. Look up Maslows hierarchy of needs. The desire for self-transcendence doesn't arise fully until all the other lower needs are met. If some of the lower needs are not met, you can still pursue enlightenment but you may find it hard to be focused or as motivated on the path. If having a girlfriend, social life, and other areas of your life makes you happy, I'd say work on those areas of your life as well and slow down a bit on the spiritual side. There is no hurry. Take as much time as you need to. The Truth will always be here for you when you are ready.

heres a challenge for you. Try to open up to people as the authentic you instead of trying to be someone else or manipulate others to get what you want. The more you do it, the stronger you'll get at it and the less socially anxious you will become. Try it out and see if it works

Idk. not enough information I'd say to peg her at blue. Although It is probably good in the long term to build a relationship with someone around your spiral level.

Idk. In general it looks like you are dealing with a low self esteem girl if she gets offended that easily. Although remember when you message people online; people can interpret your message in different ways because they don't see your body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, to detect for joking and sarcasm etc. I would't really joke around with someone online I don't know well enough because while you might be thinking you are "gaming" as a guy trying to attract her, the girl could interpret it as you being insensitive and not caring for her feelings. Most girls just want a guy who will talk to them like a normal human being and connect with them. Maybe just be polite and straight up until you and her feel more comfortable with each other.

Join a club/ group/ or meetup that involves a hobby of yours or something your interested in. Guys would love to meet a girl who's interested in the same stuff they are. For example if a guy plays a sport and you play that sport too and he find you attractive. The thought will occur in his mind that you might be an awesome girl to have a relationship with simply because he could spend time with you doing something he already enjoys. Also take care of your self in all ways. Meet interesting females as well to make friends with, stay physically fit, eat healthy, spend plenty of time alone doing self improvement and introspection work like meditation, journaling, etc. Eventually, all the work will snowball. A girl who takes care of herself on the inside and out stands out to guys because when you are at your best, your feminine side will naturally come out much stronger and nothing attracts guys like femininity. The hottest girls are not just physically hot, but also have a much more feminine essence about them. Simply the way you move, talk, act, and carry yourself will be more attractive to guys. You will also have a better chance attracting a more quality man since a quality man is likely saving his time and energy for a quality woman. Although you probably won't be able to do much of that since we have this whole pandemic thing happening. I'd say probably use this time to take care of yourself and focus on inner work and taking care of yourself. It seems you have work to do on your: self esteem, self image, social skills, neediness, etc. There are several books, videos, and courses you can take to help you improve in these areas.

watch his video "Responsibility vs Blame" and do all the exercises in that six pillars book consistently Also You need to develop a healthy strong ego before you can transcend and let go of it. Trying to transcend a dysfunctional or low self esteem ego might cause some problems. Start a meditation practice, journaling practice: anything to help you introspect is great. Meanwhile figure out what you really want to do in life. Find out what you love and go do that. Follow your heart, follow your dreams. Maybe even by Leo's LP Course, it's pretty great.

I think as a general trend, people higher up on the spiral will be more happy and fulfilled. Higher spiral stages have a greater sense of care, compassion, and a broader perspective of reality; which is not possible unless you meet certain survival needs. orange = career and livelihood green = community, self esteem, love and acceptance yellow = self actualization/ being needs turquoise = self transcendence More needs met = less dysfunction and more fulfillment. = More perspective = better ability to thrive in a conscious way in reality Dysfunctions, neuroses, and mental disorders can happen at any stage of the spiral

try spending a little more time alone and growing yourself more. Then when you are ready, you will have a newly upgraded version of yourself ready for a relationship again

he feels hurt because he liked you in a romantic way but couldn't quite build up the courage to tell you all his feelings and ask you out. He probably thought you felt the same way and attraction was building on your end overtime. Now that he figured out you have a boyfriend, he feels cheated on, played, unwanted, and maybe even used. Although from your perspective his approach speaks that he is not a strong enough man to seduce you and be vulnerable so your instinct as the woman is to friend zone him. Really sucks for him. I've been there as the guy. Don't blame yourself or him for feeling the way you do. Just know whatever hateful things he may say or do to or about you and your boyfriend come not from a place of hate for you, but really from a place of hurt, pain, feeling unwanted and rejected. If he cuts you off theres not much you can do but learn from the experience and move on. If you feel open enough and value him as a friend, you can message him and say something like: "Hey I'm really sorry if we had a misunderstanding on what was going on between us. I never meant to hurt you and I care about your feelings and our friendship a lot. I'd like to discuss it with you so we can both bring our feelings and our friendship to a better place. But if you are feeling like you want us to go our separate ways I understand. Just know I'm here for you if you would like to talk about it. " In the end you both can learn from this and become better people in the end so nothing is wasted.

yeah social interaction causes movement of the mind which disconnects us from being. Its totally natural to feel a little lonely after socializing in my experience. Loneliness is a measure of how much one is disconnected from being. the reason some of us feel better in company is it forces us to be and bring our awareness outward. You can feel extremely lonely in a crowd of people and the enlightened yogi living in the mountains no longer comprehends the notion of loneliness.

@EternalForest My friends shouldn't leave me. Is that true? How do you know that your friends leaving you is not actually a GOOD thing for you. Maybe years later you find out somehow it was the best thing that ever happened to you. My life has had many of those. I've been rejected and hurt many times in the past (even ghosted by a friend like you) only to find out later that it was actually better for both of our paths. I don't know you or your personal situation. However. The reality of it is: your friends did leave you, so saying they shouldn't leave you would be arguing with reality and would just cause you more unnecessary pain. thats what arguing with reality means. Creating rules in your own head that contradict with the reality of what is. What is is out of our control so it just hurts to argue with it. The point I made about no one doing wrong given their model of the world is actually a very tricky one that even a lot of intelligent people don't get. What it means is that your friends all have a completely different psyche, sense of reality, sense of right and wrong, brain type, needs, etc. They perceive the world so much more differently from you than you can imagine. Is there some code of right and wrong written down somewhere in the universe that makes it absolute? I don't think so. Our minds make these up so that we can justify fulfilling our own survival needs. The big picture here is, your friends left you, so who the hell cares what is right and what is wrong. Just do whatever it takes for your sake to heal and release any unnecessary pain and trauma. And counterintuitively, accepting the reality of the situation is the first step toward just that. Whatever resists persists. Stop resisting the situation and the pain and love it instead. Then by loving it, your suffering will turn into love and you will have risen to a higher level of consciousness.

@EternalForestNobody does anything wrong given their model of the world. They believe what they do is right from their point of view. Your friends want to leave you? Thats alright thats their choice. It doesn't make you less of a person. Now make sure you take care of yourself observe for any emotional reactions or spinning any internal thought stories about your friends leaving you. If you Identify with pain, you cannot be free from it. Once you become aware of it you can free yourself from it I also highly recommend to you the book: Loving What Is. By Byron Katie I think it could change your life and your view on the situation my friend

@Dlavjr From my experience if you frame masturbation or porn as 'bad' in your mind in any way, you will probably end up falling back into old habits again. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, porn, or any of that. It's freaking awesome that we can pleasure ourselves by ourselves in that way. The only question is: What do you want? Would you rather have pleasure and accept a minor energy and focus decrease, or take the other result. play around with it. Its alright if you fall back into old habits and stuff. I would also observe your urges in your mind and your body to see where they stem from. also spiritually masturbation doesn't harm you at all. Health wise it seems fine too.

this looks like you are striving to maintain a particular identity. Be careful. You may be creating a shadow out of narcissism or some of these other traits. If possible, watch what traits and actions your mind judges when you interact with others. Things that the mind judges and demonizes means that it is a threat to your identity. For example. pretend you secretly judge and hate yourself for being socially awkward. And so you suppress and deny any hint of social awkwardness within your own self, thoughts, and actions and instead demonize and criticize all of the socially awkward people 'out there'. The mind loves this because it distracts you from turning inwards and digging up that nasty shadow material because the shadow material is there to maintain your identity. EX: if we take the social awkwardness example, the purpose of disowning that may be to maintain your identity as a confident extroverted outgoing person If we take your example, narcissism or self centeredness as we conventionally know it as the disowned trait. Then You may be attempting to maintain being a nice or humble person and furthermore judging all of the self-centered narcissistic assholes 'out there'. Notice how you fear being a narcissist. What if you are a narcissist? Why do you feel the need to separate yourself 'over here' from those self centered narcissists 'over there'. Could there be something deeper to that? Does such a boundary even exist or are you just making it up? And what might be the purpose of making up a boundary like that? hmmmm........ Once you've located some shadow material or a trait, quality, or group of people you judge, demonize, and criticize, the next step is to allow yourself to love yourself for being THAT. Because those people actually are YOU. If you judge people for being assholes, all yourself to love yourself for being an asshole and you will have healed that part of yourself. Your mind has thousands upon thousands of these judgements and virtual partitions that separate you from other people preventing you from seeing the world from their point of view. Collapsing them is a major part of the work. Good luck

relationships are a distraction? From what? It sounds like these people need to get somewhere. Theres nowhere to get. Life is not a race. The finish line will be your grave. Do what you love. Period. For some people that is meditating in an ashram for 40 years and for some that will be playing video games and drinking beer. All your personal judgements are coming from your own self biased frame of reference that are based on a multitude of questionable assumptions. Now what we are interested in with self actualization and personal development work is finding out what you specifically value and find fulfillment in an pursue that. What nourishes your own heart and soul. Not what some guru or your parents told you to do.

I have had the same issue. We have INTJ personalities lol. Or thats at least my judgement because I've been going through the EXACT same confusion as you in the past few months. First: Watch Leo's video on: Sameness vs Difference and contemplate the two deeply What you will find is that sameness and difference are a matter of perspective and are completely relative The thing your ego doesn't want you to see and deny profusely is that you are in a community with beings who are different from a certain point of view, but also exactly like you from another. Right now you are only seeing the differences because thats what your mind wants you to see. And the boundary that makes up the difference between your idea of you and 'other people' is completely virtual. Even if you found someone who had the same interests as you, you would still find a way to differentiate yourself from them because this is how the INTJ personality survives. After we get rid of this thick virtual boundary even for a moment, social interaction and even small talk becomes effortless (:0 IKR) Whats helped me: -acknowledge that you are a whole that is also part of the larger whole of mankind and life at large (Not just THE whole period). -try to look for and admit to yourself the similarities between you and others rather than nitpicking the differences -discipline yourself to try to talk to people who you are most comfortable with and just try to surrender to the moment without trying to calculate and understand everything. Just kick back and have a good time -try to get out of your head and bring your awareness into the outer world (You may notice your mind likes to escape into the inner world a lot). -let go of the need to be superior to others. (Especially with our intellectual knowledge )

Survival is highly irrational and not designed to make you comfortable or happy. Survival is about keeping the idea of YOU alive. Thus, as you go from child to teen to adult, you keep accumulating your idea of you and that idea becomes a nasty giant web to the point where if even a tiny pin pokes it, you suffer immensely. This is why children look so joyful and carefree and a lot of adults who haven't done spiritual work may look serious or depressed. Survival is a mechanism designed to keep you alive long enough to experience life. But the need to survive causes you to suffer. Thats why we have spiritual work Prepersonal---> Personal---> transpersonal

This is a duality and must collapse. The fully integrated individual dreams up the highest vision they can possibly imagine for their life and makes a concrete plan to actualize it. People sometimes call themselves 'pragmatic' or 'practical' thinkers and separate themselves from 'idealistic' people because they are too afraid to fail so they don't allow themselves to dream as a nice little self deception mechanism Idealism and pragmatism are completely relative to what you think is possible in life given your current situation.