Byun Sean

Romantic love is very self biased and survival oriented.

time matters to the extent you identify with the physical body

@Rasheed Don't worry about the details or the ifs and the how you can make it work. Just focus on getting hyper clear and specific on exactly what you want out of life. Like the more detailed the better. Then when you get clear on a very specific vision on where you want your life to be, you can be decisive and the burning passion and desire for it will lead your mind to figure all the 'hows' along the way. Then it's simple. You just keep chipping away at it one day at a time whether it means books, courses, coaching, building certain skills, etc.

Damn that sounds hard. If it were me I would: meditate plenty and stay mindful of when thoughts of him come up. Get out and enjoy nature by myself. Take some time doing something relaxing that I enjoy. Spend some time with a good friend. Journal my thoughts and emotions. Pretend there is another me in front of me and talk to that version of me about my feelings. You probably won't ever forget him from your memory but the pain attached to your thoughts of him can and will heal.

yeah I feel like a lot of people do spiritual practice to feel better or to end suffering because they suffered so much in their life. I feel like its a lot more fun and exciting though when the motivation is on exploring deeper dimensions of what reality is on an existential level. For me new levels of consciousness is not just about feeling good although that is one benefit. Your entire life transforms from the inside out since your changes in your consciousness affect your personality, relationships, career, diet, passion and love for life, understanding of the human mind etc. I have also heard that people who pursue awakening to end suffering or just to feel happy usually actually end up having very hard paths filled with suffering and hardship. @Cosmin_Visan Yeah a lot of people involved in spirituality develop whats called a spiritual ego. In doing this they separate themselves as being "more conscious" or "more awake/ evolved" than normal people. This is actually very common and might not fade away until that person fully awakens and sheds that last layer of ego. A lot of these people on the spiritual path have just began to tap into direct awareness of the spiritual truths that they speak of but have not quite grown enough to be able to communicate them to people who don't have spiritual experience in a way that makes sense to them.

Of course you can't understand what it means for you to not exist. You have to die first to understand that. It's obviously not true for you. Thats all that matters. If you believe them or come to some logical understanding of nonduality it still does you no good because your still not conscious of anything new. You've only created a nice intellectual model in your head. Models can be useful to a certain extent, but never confuse the model for the territory. For all you know, Nonduality is false. You don't know until you do the exercises to raise your own consciousness and see. Keep doing self inquiry, meditation, yoga, psychedelics, whatever works for you.

@Psychonaut What do you want out of a relationship? Would you rather be single? Are you feeling bored in the relationship? What kind of experience do you want that you aren't getting with this person?

eh enlightenment doesn't exist. Just remove yourself and see what happens lol

Just be happy trump didnt win lol

Check your own experience.

Death is an illusion. It never existed. A fiction created by the human mind. When you die you will be right here because there is nowhere else to go.

don't focus as much on the money part. Focus on asking yourself what it is you really want to do with your life. What do you love? What are your top strengths you could use to help other people. Once you find something you are passionate about that aligns with something your really freaking good at, then figure out how you can turn that into a marketable career/ business idea. Trust that your deep drive and passion for doing what you love and helping yourself and other people through it will drive your mind to figure a way to make it work. If you find a job that makes you money but isn't what you love, you'll be back at square one because that was the entire reason your not going to school. Go for the big cheese and nothing less. Also study up on business and marketing with books, courses, etc so you can execute your plan effectively.

I'd say if he really loves the game let him play. Just make sure his play time doesn't start to take up his entire life in an unhealthy way. Like make sure he's still doing well in school. encouraging him to engage socially etc. You as a parent get to determine where you draw the line. But I can tell you from personal experience I grew up playing violent video games and I don't consider myself even remotely hostile or violent at all. Kids are generally smart enough to make the distinction between killing in a fantasy world on a screen and the seriousness of real life killing.

People usually swing to one side or the other a bit too much due to various traumas or wounds from the past. 1. There is the unhealthy over-emphasis on love from other people or through relationships which causes neediness and a lack of love for oneself. 2. There is the unhealthy closing off from other people making one love themselves as an individual but also selfish and closed off from others. These are very common wounds. Number one usually stems from being abandoned from people or not feeling the love they wanted as a child. Number two seems to stem more from feeling hurt or having ones emotional boundaries invaded in the past by either parent or lover. A fully integrated human being loves themselves completely and is 100 percent detached, but at the same time is 100 percent open hearted to people, relationships, and community.

It looks like you don't know exactly what you want to do yet but you want to work in the domain of raising consciousness. Here's an exercise that might help: First build a list of jobs you might be passionate about in your field of interest: Then once you have your list, start really thinking about and researching what a day in the life of that job would be like if you already had that job now. For example: Psychedelic retreat guide Now visualize every possible detail of what a day in the life would look like as a psychedelic retreat guide. -What Kinds of people would come to your retreats? -How would you interact with people ideally? -What emotions would you feel on the job? -What would your typical schedule look like? -What kind of value or expertise would I be providing to the people who attend my retreats? -What kind of people would my co-workers be? -Where would I work? -What skills and knowledge am I using that are providing great value and incentive to people coming to my retreats? And then you can introspect and find answers inside of yourself and figure out how much you would like that job. Maybe you need to do more research on one or all of the potential jobs you want through the internet, books, or talking to people. Maybe you need to attend one of these retreat centers or hire one of these people who are already in the position you might want to be in and see what they do from first hand experience. See what inspires you and what isn't so exciting as you thought. Maybe what your missing is understanding of the business aspect and you need to do more research on business and marketing. The bottom line is: introspect, research, question, and visualize. But also if you can go out into the world and find tangible experience with these job positions so that you don't feel like your LP is just speculation or ideas. Also don't worry about the money part just yet. First figure out exactly what you want to do. Then once you have that nailed you can start planning a strategy to make money with it.

Fashion trends are changing all the time. If I were you I would probably just try out a bunch of different stuff and pick the ones I like best. There are likely very good youtube videos on this stuff.

keep going. You can go far enough your life will be over and even beyond that. This monstrous thing we call ego that blocks us from our True Self is so multidimensional and complex with hundreds of thousands of strong body guards and soldiers. The war within has just begun for you. Best of luck. Set yourself up for the long haul. Never give up.

I am focused on you because I care about you and I see some of yourself in me. I've held the same view and I know where your at. The only value you get from my posts is the possibility of growth that can be had from them. Your heavily wounded and you don't realize it. I'll admit. This is hard stuff. I've been through this. Of course I could leave you alone and you would eventually come to this on your own time but I'm in the spirit of helping so I'm not 'helping' from a wounded triggered place but I'm willing to make a little conflict with you if it means there is the slight chance what I say will make your life better. So my goal is not to impose an ideology on you or make you believe something. My posts will either cause you to look inward and open your mind to the possibility of exploring something about yourself. And you will eventually heal yourself. Or you will close your mind off and keep ranting on the forum while you still hold unresolved pain in your relationship to people. Your choice. By all means. Look inward and realize that I was wrong. But don't avoid looking inward at all.

@Thestarguitarist14 Lol Isn't it interesting your one of the only guys on this forum that holds this particular view and everyone including me is telling you relationships work otherwise. We say your view is toxic and packed with baggage because it is. But of course you will never admit this because if you ever admit this as a possibility you have to risk giving up this big part of your ego which is threatening. You say others are needy. Well your 5x as needy for your need to be separate from others especially in intimacy with women.

My statement is purposefully aggressive and angry sounding in tone because you need fucking wake up call. Your asleep to your own baggage and your taking a tole on yourself and others until you fix it. I know where your at because I've been there and back. I've walked the spiritual path alone with your exact mindset and I know all the ins and outs of it. It's so damn obvious to me it looks like a giant shit stain in the middle of the sidewalk. My comments come from a conscious place of care for you. Not demonization. I only know this too well because I've been through the same shit and held the same trashy narcissistic individualistic perspective that claims you are this 'ultimate awakened person who is soooo developed and conscious' that you don't need anyone and that anyone who seeks relationships is automatically needy. Well thats just a front. You've closed your heart off so much you can't even imagine being intimate with someone yourself anymore. If you were really so conscious and awakened in that area you wouldn't be bashing others on the forum. Your projecting here.

@SQAAD Of course its not 'bad' to be unenlightened. It's not a moral issue. It's just a matter of what serves you. People are interested in enlightenment when they realize it is a more fulfilling way to live. You decide: Consciousness or Selfishness. See which one works best for you and do that.

@Thestarguitarist14 So are you just gonna keep ranting on the forum about this or are you ever gonna turn inward and look at your damn shadow material for your own neediness. You've been spinning your wheels on this same shit for ages now man. Grow the fuck up. Take some responsibility and turn your ass inward. You deliberately suppress your own neediness and project it onto others so you can feel superior to those more 'needy' than you. Really you just have baggage you are unwilling to look at. Deal with your trauma and leave other people who are participating happily in relationships alone. Period.

sitting down and having. conversation about this with your gf might help where you tell her your feelings about your passion in a way that is non-aggressive and caring to her and all that stuff you just wrote in the post. You both can then agree on time you will spend together vs time you want to spend on your passion. You can agree that you set X amount of time away during the day just focused on your passion. That way you can spend time with just her when you are not working. And you can be 100 percent focused when you are.

All these things increase your value aka quality in the eyes of a woman: consciousness/ love personality Detachment from outcome (Non-neediness) confidence funniness/ humor job and career money looks/ body social status A lot of these things overlap with each other and there are probably more stuff that can go on here. These are just the ones I could come up with off the top of my head. You likely don't need to excel in every area to get your dream girl. But maximizing your value always increases your odds. so like for example if you don't think you excel in looks and body you can work your ass off on your personality, level of consciousness, job and career (maybe work on getting a job position that you love and earns well), socialize more so your more relaxed and detached etc.

Nowhere is it written in the universe that if you are a great kind caring honest cool guy that you automatically should get the girl you like. The girl decides not you. We must understand guys and girls are not logically choosing who they are attracted to just like you aren't. There are basic forces of nature involved in attraction in both guys and girls. We can either complain about the rules. Or we can try our best to get what we want inside the boundaries nature set up for us.