King Merk

I’m done. Done with spirituality. Done with mysticism. Done with enlightenment pursuits. Done with Leo Gura, Robert Spira, Dennis McKenna, Sadhguru, Frank Yang, Peter Ralston, Mooji, Osho, Shinzen Young, Alan Watts, Ken Wilber and the rest of them. Let me explain myself... I first came across Actualized.org about six or seven years ago when I was first getting into meditation. I remember how triggering the videos always were but something kept me coming back. Since then I’ve religiously watched every single video Leo has released on YouTube (and many from the blog). I’ve been addicted to spiritual work... I’ve been meditating, contemplating, journaling, doing psychedelics, fasting and reading any spiritual text I could get my hands on. My sole purpose in life has been the “elevation of consciousness”. While this pursuit has benefitted my life tremendously, it’s time for me to drop it.... For now. You see, I’m out of balance in my development. I’ve put such an emphasis on spirituality that I ignored my root system. My hierarchy of needs looks like swiss cheese and instead of addressing that I’ve tried to transcend it. And now I’m bashing my head against a glass ceiling. My spiritual growth is being hindred by my lack of fundamental development in life. Who the fuck do I think I am to pursue enlightenment when I can hardly even pay my rent? So goodbye Leo and hello Tony Robins. It’s back to the basics for me. I’m 25 years old and I’ve got the rest of my life to pursue spirituality. From today on I commit to spending the next 5 years or so focusing on my relationships, financial status, life purpose, emotional mastery and physical health. This is something I’ve know intuitively that I needed to do for a while now but the pursuit of realizing God was just so god damn exciting that I couldn’t resist. I’ve been addicted to the spiritual high but it’s time to come back down and set my root system deep into the ground. I share this because I see many other on this forum who appear to be in a similar situation. Which perhaps thats simply my projection but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say Leo’s teaching are above most of our heads. It’s time for me to come back down and perhaps it is for you as well. Here’s to working on the basics, the wisest and most conscious thing I’m capable of doing right now. Thank you for entertaining my lament.

@Shin it was a little click-baity So I definitely understand the misunderstanding. Thanks for reading Shin(:

@Shin yea I’m not “done” in the sense that I’m no longer on the forum but I’m “done” in the sense that I’m no longer prioritizing enlightenment pursuits. Focusing more on the lower needs.

Love what you two said here. That’s the move for sure. Really focus on developing the tier one stages on the spiral/lower needs of Maslow’s hierarchy. And I agree continuing to mediate/do psychedelics/etc but not making it my number 1 priority any more. I’m just realizing there’s more to life than awakening/enlightenment. At least in the relative sense.

Yea I’ve def done that

Rural parts of America and most of the south tends to be more religious and lean stage blue. Cities and the west/east coast tend to lean atheistic or spiritual and be more stage orange and green respectively. Why America is so religious, I’m not sure. Probably has something to do with colonialism

Lmao BANGER

@Paracosm yea I’ve used both to achieve a temporary god realization but it’s so fleeting. I find it hard to integrate 5-Meo and N,N-DMT because they’re such short and intense experiences. It’s like HOLF FUCKING SHIT that was the most profound and beautiful experience of my life.... aaaaaaand now what?

I loved Leo’s most recent video on God-Realization. I think it may even be my favorite video he’s recorded. However, I didn’t receive clarity in how exactly one goes about becoming God-Realized. Practically speaking, what exactly should one do to achieve this? (Other than the whole detoxifying heavy metals from the brain bit which I’m certainly excited to learn more about) I’ve seen a lot of bickering back and forth between meditation vs psychedelics. Is becoming God-Realized as simple as utilizing these two tools? Is one more important than the other? Would love to hear some more opinions on this.

Man. This part especially is a super relatable. It’s so hard for me to do things if I can’t see a practical end result.

What have I gained from my spiritual path/what is different??? Short answer: everything. A limited list of benefits I’ve seen would include. Less anxiety More clarity/focus Integration of rejected parts of myself Emotional healing and better emotional regulation Better physical health Better relationships Less needy/clingy Much calmer mind More mental fortitude/resilience Im now secure in solitude. I’m taking a more authentic path in life as well as more comfortable being physically by myself. Really man the list goes on. My spiritual transformation has seeped into every single area of my life and benefited me tremendously. How I’ve gotten here: Meditation (including retreats) Psychedelics (LSD, shrooms, DMT) Trauma Therapy Getting Coaching/Hiring Mentors Coaching and observing others and recognizing common pitfalls Cleaning up my diet Reading 100+ books Endless hours of self reflection What wall am I running into on my path: It’s difficult to focus on self inquiry when I’m stressing about always being behind on my rent Lack of mental focus/clarity and being unable to afford metal detoxing protocols or an entirely organic diet Turning everything on my spiritual path into a belief system and mental masterbating over it rather than doing the practices (lack of discipline) not having the time to do really put into consciousness pursuits because I’m working 50-60 hours per week just make make ends meet Really my biggest “walls” I’m hitting are around time and money. I need more freedom to pursue my spiritual growth at a higher level. To obtain this freedom I need to hone myself so I can provide more value to the world and therefor be rewarded financially. I know all that’s probably a jumbled mess but hopefully that answers your questions. My root system needs strengthened before I can grow proper branches.

Thank you for sharing that, this is very true and has so many areas of application. In sports how many athletes are overly focused on flashy moves rather than the simple fundamental skills. In nutrition how many people are overly focused on supplementation and fad diets rather than the simplicities of eating whole foods that are minimally processed. In dating how many people are overly focused on canned pick-up lines and special techniques instead of simply developing themselves to be attractive human beings. In the spiritual field how many people are holding the beliefs about how the self is an illusion and that everything is God while still struggling with meditating on a daily basis (me lol). The list goes on and on and on. Back to the basic(:

I think it’s a little too early to tell right now wether I’m progressing more. I will follow up with a reply to that in the future. That said I do feel more confident in my newfound intentions. I wouldn’t say I’m necessary happier but focusing on my lower/foundational needs and skills does feel more “right” too me. More authentic. More what I “should” be doing.

Thank you for the reflection(: I love the sword analogy. That’s exactly how I feel about what I’m doing. I feel as if my sword has become too dull for the battle I’m waging and it’s time to take a step back and sharpen it once again.

I agree 100%. Definitely going to continue my meditation habit.

Chiropractics is a partial part of healing the body’s physical structure. You can manipulate the hard tissue (bones) all you want but it’s the soft tissue (muscles, fascia, ligaments, tendons) that determine the geometry of the skeleton itself. So getting an adjustment without addressing the soft tissue is asking for a temporary fix.

I’ve been doing cold exposure for years now and simple things like taking a cold shower are certainly safe. Now when you get into the heavier stuff like full body submersion in cold water (ice baths, winter swimming, minimal clothing running in cold, etc) then things can get a bit dangerous. I’ve done some shit that made me feel like I was dying like 10+ minute long ice baths. You have to have A LOT of mental fortitude and physical training for that. I have also noticed that sometimes after I get out of a full body cold water submersion that my coordination and balance is off. But this only happens when I dip my head under as well so I think the cold water does something to my vestibular system. But short answer is yes, cold showers are very safe.

@Being Frank Yang dude I still can’t believe you’re on the forum. I remember showing videos of you and Zyzz to all my buddies back in high school like 7-8 years ago and them all thinking I was weird asf lol Who’d of thought mirin gainz would evolve into consciousness pursuits

@Flyboy thank you for the comment. That was just what I was looking for. Just finished Ralston’s Book Of Not Knowing and it blew my fucking mind/sense a self apart. I feel like that ones is going to take years of chewing on and revisiting. MTCB has been sitting on my shelf for the last year & a half and I haven’t touched it soon lol Will start to self inquire more and add in some of the other stuff. Namaste(:

@The0Self thanks for the feedback. I can see how those things over time would likely lead to god realization. You began with the words “clarify, understanding and power”. What do you mean by this?

@Inliytened1 thank you for the response. Would you mind elaborating on this? What do you mean by staring at an object to see if it start to shift?

@Inliytened1 yes I have been meditating for the last 5 years or so. Admittedly my consistency has varied over the years but at least 2-3 days per week. That’s something I need to work on. I’ve played around with self inquiry but I typically lean more towards the “do nothing” technique and the “note, label then savor” technique that Leo & Shinzen Young speak on. I also do psychedelics once a month or so. So yea, I do both lol. I feel my meditation game has much room for improvement though.

Ever since I did meo nothing has been the same. The level of depth I get from “normal” psychedelics like mushrooms and LSD is soooo much more.

So is anyone else loosing it that @Being Frank Yang and @Leo Gura are talking to each other on here? I think I just shit myself ? This is the kind of discussion I’d love to see more of.

Living 4D with Paul Chek