King Merk

I’ve had some absolutely mind blowing prostate orgasms before. It’s not something I do all the time but when the mood is right man does it feel good. Also, I’m a heterosexual alpha male type who does BJJ, rock climbs, has a girlfriend, etc. Fuck this stigma about it being gay to put things in your ass. (Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay). But a lot of y’all’s fear of homophobia prevents you from exploring elements of your sexuality and it shows.

Went to two BJJ classes today. One at noon and one in the evening. Also did my meditation, reading and French practice. At night I unwinded by watching a BJJ documentary. Letting my “addict brain” obsess over this newfound domain of martial arts and Brazilian jui jitsu. Feels good.

@Devin I can see the beauty in it if you really want such a thing. A sacred bond of union until death. It’s definitely romantic. I’m trying to make a conscious decision on how I authentically feel about marriage rather than simply doing it because it’s the norm of my culture

Sometimes if my cervical spine is feeling compressed I’ll partially hang my head off the side of my bed. Gives a similar benefit without having to buy a new contraption to do it

We do. It’s called living a principled life.

Yes of course you can stop checking your girlfriend’s phone. Commit to stopping NOW. That’s a toxic habit that reeks of insecurity. Focus on simple self help stuff. Buy a Tony Robins book, start meditating daily, focus on your health/fitness, etc. Leo’s current content is not for you.

I’ve kept condoms in my wallet my whole life and never had an issues so I would be too paranoid about it. That said it’s probably a smart move on you in reducing condom exposure to heat, wear & tear in a wallet, etc. Maybe keep two in your wallet as back up then another in your backpack that’s your go-to condom. I’ve always use Trojan magnums but I’m sure that’s just to inflate my ego lol

Thank you for these affirmations. I come from a stage blue environnement and my questioning of marriage is causing some sort of ego backlash/judgment in myself. I don’t need a piece of paper to validate my love for someone. I also don’t wish to bind my partner to me with a legal contract. “If you love something then let it go. If it doesn’t come back then it wasn’t meant to be”

Become a man worth falling in love with… I’d start with releasing the desire to control a woman. That’s fucking creepy dude.

I get up and walk my dog first thing in the morning. I find getting up and physically moving is a great way to create positive momentum moving forward into the day.

@Kksd74628 haha I love the encouragement. What are you typically doing while you listen to books? I like doing audiobooks while driving to work and walking my dog. It’s crazy how much you can gain by taking advantage of those little opportunities to learn something. Today I slept in past my BJJ class which I didn’t plan on but I’m currently working a double so 16 hours at my day job as a youth counselor. So I don’t feel bad about getting the extra sleep. Trying to stay balanced between work and recovery.

Congrats dude! Nice to read your report. Was this your first retreat? I want to do a 10 day vipassana as well but not sure if I should start there or do a shorter one.

BY LOVING YOURSELF!!! (: Everytime I think back to something cringey in the past I give my past self a mental hug. Because that’s what he needed. Love and understanding. I also show gratitude for how far I’ve come. If you’re not looking back to what you were doing a year or two ago and cringing a little then that’s a sign that you’re not growing. Cringey reflections = evidence of growth

@Raptorsin7 thank you for the emotional support. I normally don’t need much of that but with BJJ it’s become very appreciated haha. I love this shit. It feels primal. I’m curious what made you stop training? Did it stop becoming fun for you?

What do you like to do in your free time? Is there a way to include her into those activities? Some of my favorites are dancing together, painting, cooking, watching a nature documentary, hiking, rock climbing, going to museums, taking walks with my dog, etc. Just find fun stuff to do together. Then take her to your room for a little indoor Olympics

Four years ago I tried my first Brazilian jui jitsu class. My experience was so overwhelming it left me borderline traumatized and I never went back. I always knew in the back of my mind that I bitched out and needed to get back into that arena one day. Two months ago I decided to do just that and joined a new BJJ gym with a more resilient mind. Its still challenging. Today during class I almost broke down crying because of how helpless I felt while rolling. That said there’s an fulfilling pleasure in pushing my comfort zone in this way. A mentor once told me that if I wasn’t spending time with people who make me feel dumb then I need to start hanging out with new people. These higher belts in my BJJ gym definitely make me feel dumb.. but in an empowering way. Getting my face smashed in every time I go to class is a beautiful form of masculine compassion. It’s growth through adversity. Keep growing stronger my actualized fam

I think Frank has only done DMT like two times? He’s not a big psychedelic guy. He preaches much more doing meditative/insight practices. In regards to what I think of when I hear holistic fitness is Paul Chek. I was a personal trainer for 5 years and developed lots of wisdom with regards to health/fitness. I can say Paul is the most holistic guy I’ve come across

Using a variety of models to interpret reality is what stage yellow is all about You can’t spiritually bypass any stage on the spiral

Lmao. Love the backup plan

Skilled martial artists are some of the most peaceful people you’ll meet. Martial arts is one of the best mediums I’m aware of to facilitate humility and emotional regulation. Martial arts is to humans what dog training is to dogs. An untrained dog is wild and at a heightened risk of causing hard to others. However with proper training and socialization a dog can learn how to control its emotions and become obedient. Same with humans. Martial arts will help you control your emotions as well as be able to defend yourself if needed. There is nothing glorious in being helpless.

Deciding to going a BJJ gym was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life

So what’s wrong with chewing normal gum?

Just do your best to stay relaxed and have a good time. As mentioned above try not to put her on a pedastool. You’re a cool young guy with a bright future. Come from that frame. Hang out. Have fun. Hook up.

Look into developing simple healthy sleep habits such as… no blue light exposure 1-2 hours before bed (ideal after the sun sets) no meals 3-4 hours before bed waking up at the same time every day (if you stay up late then have the discipline to still wake up early the next day) getting physical exercise in during the day meditate at some point in the day for at least 10 minutes These are all simple things that have evidence of reducing insomnia. The biggest one I see people struggle with is blue light exposure. If you’re being exposed to artificial light all evening/night (which stimulates your awakeness hormones) then no wonder you can’t fall asleep.

Looking juicy bro. Shoutout Fronk. Making mind & body gainz.