Annonymous

@DrewNows What do you mean by drop my beliefs and be me? Do you mean the emptiness from meditation or be what I feel?

I find it strange because I am an 11 in numerology don't really believe in numerology I take a personality test and it comes up as INFP. @Leo Gurawhat is your view on numerology? Real or Bullshit?

How often a week do you fast? I have fat on my waists and thighs I want to get rid of

@Devi Shanti I only feel attraction towards women. I feel like if I was biologically born female I'd be a lesbian. On the dominating vs the one being dominated I haven't really thought about it very much. I am the type of person that's either listening to something heavy like death metal or I am listening to something very light like night-core dubstep(maybe this gives an insight of who I am). I don't think I would ever transition but if I had the chance to leave my body to go into a female body I most likely would do so. Many times due to meditation, etc I have felt just pure emptiness which many times leads me to asking if I ever existed. I made the model of Gender Dysphoria in hopes of trying to remove the feminine feeling but when I considered the possibilities if possible to do so it felt like someone was holding a gun up to my head and doing so I'd die(not really but the self aka the ego if that makes sense). I feel like my trans identity is standing in the way of me becoming enlightened.

@Jamie Universe I agree with you, in the past I thought of making a school based on teaching stuff like spiral dynamics,etc.

@RiseAbove Thanks for sharing, I'll check it out

@Socrates The problem with banning guns completely for an example is that only the bad people will have guns, they are criminals for a reason. I agree with background checks though. In my opinion the problem is not just guns but with health and hate, so one might be shot due to racism for an example, one might shoot up a school due to seeking attention, etc. With regards to Fox News having self bias, no matter what news station you listen to there's going be self-bias but depending on the news station there may be more or less self-bias. I like to find at least 5 or more sources along with looking at said story in different perspectives.

@remember I haven't tried embracing my femininity completely, the only thing I have done recently is growing out my hair(medium length currently). Grew out my nails kinda long but when I went to hangout with my Dad the other day to help him unpack from moving to a new place I trimmed my nails short because I didn't want him to see. When I was younger my mom found that I had painted my nails and she helped me remove the paint so my Dad wouldn't see. I also would try and put on my mothers lipstick many times as a kid but she would take it away assuming I must have thought it was chapstick.

I fear what my Dad would think or do, currently under guardianship and fear what the judge may think and that it might effect their decision. My mom's claim to the Judge was that I was going to give all of my trust fund money to my Dad and move in with him, this claim being a year ago. But I wasn't going to give any money and at the time I wanted to move out into my own place to try to find myself, I wouldn't have been able to do that if I moved in with my Dad. Only supplements that I am currently taking are Ginkgo Biloba, MultiVitamins, I have some St. John's wort I am trying, plus getting some melatonin tomorrow to help me sleep better. Main reason I have problems sleeping is because I can't stop thinking about how I feel like a woman and what am I going to do about it. Luckily under the guardianship I was able to move into my own place after I graduated from HighSchool in May.

I am a 19 age Male @Devi Shanti

Many times I keep feeling like this whole thing we call life is nothing but a dream, I feel like I never existed. At times I have freaked out feeling like this whole time must have been a dream, I don't feel connected to my family almost like they are strangers and even I feel like a stranger to myself like who am I? Would you say I have been enlightened or just having dissociation disorder syndrome? Many times my Dad has asked me whats wrong and I don't know, I see this as a problem because as long as I view my life as just a dream I can't take anything seriously. I have problems sleeping at night and how I react feeling like my life feels like a dream is sometimes anger and sadness. Do I need to open my root chakra to feel connected? At times I zone out feeling like everything has paused(everything is still moving and if I am hanging out with my Dad like the other day he asked if I was high or something) and have a feeling like this life must be fake. I feel like I am loosing my mind, what do you think? I have done Shamanic Breathing like 3 times so far, today was able to hit at least 51 minutes, before 46 minutes, first time being only like 20 minutes. Once in awhile more memories come up randomly from my past. Many times in the past before I heard about enlightenment I would feel these sensations at times that life was fake and just a dream but not as much as I do currently.

I used to believe in Numerology but think it's nonsense in my opinion. Supposedly I am an 11 in numerology. This is what the number says about me (Master number 11 brings higher intuition and spiritual insight, supernatural abilities, increased sensitivity, as well as empathy and natural intelligence. The number eleven is a sign of enormous power – both mental and physical. In addition, this is the first master number from a total of three (11, 22 and 33).)

Another Idea I have is maybe if a girl for example believes that men are aggressive along with finding herself aggressive plus some traits that they may believe are masculine thinking that men only like cars, if the girl likes cars as well, etc she may feel related to a boy. Lastly subconsciously they may believe that to have those traits of liking cars, etc that those belong to a certain body type. I don't know lol what do you think, there's hundreds of different ideas. @Annonymous

I have the same problem of feeling like I am a woman, for years I have tried taking different supplements along with working out to try and increase testosterone. I was abused as a child from 5 -13 years old, suffered from insomnia, and even malnutrition where I would go hungry at times in my mom's place. I now have my own place and food isn't an issue, I have many times thought of taking steroids. I have made a model that I call the "Triangle of Gender Dysphoria" Let me know what you think, this model is based off research along with my experience. This trans identity is an issue because for me to achieve enlightenment I must transcend this trans identity but how? Many times in the past my parents would take testosterone boosters from me saying I had enough testosterone already. I have had a civil war in my head, in my dreams I am a woman so maybe it's subconscious? Hopefully this helps Cameron, I still haven't found a solution either. Do you think steroids would help or am I going to need to work through this mentally?