Smurfinstein

First, you move to remove the judgement that they "pissed their life away" simply because they didn't choose to live the way you choose to live. They did the best with what they had, and probably wouldn't agree with your assessment. Second, you move to a place of gratitude that they care enough to share. Third, you say a heartfelt "thank you for caring" before moving on to Four, ignore what doesn't resonate. Take what works and leave what doesn't.

I thought it was a lot-- I have since learned, not so much for people who really get hooked on the stuff-- and, yeah, it's gnarly. I'm definitely an outlier that, when it was time to move on from it, I moved on. (And, it's not like i don't have addictive tendencies-- alcohol was a beast for me to get into check.) Modafinil doesn't do anything for me. I seriously can't tell a focus difference if I've taken it or not.

I have ADHD, and I absolutely CANNOT with any kind of THC, any strain (well, I've only tried a few because the few I have tried have been identically horrible.) Paranoia, hallucination, waking dreams, sleep paralysis even hours later. It is awful for me. Back in college and early career, I was doing meth (yes, THAT meth), and that smoothed me out really well-- most focused, productive time of growth and creation in my career, really. People who knew were amazed... "wow, you got all of the good and none of the bad!" I can see why that is the go-to for ADHD treatment (prescribed, of course.) I can't imagine pot would help with it at all-- personally, it makes my mind feel trapped and, again, it's an awful experience (for me.) I know it's generally frowned upon in this group, but I do sip whole-leaf kratom brewed as a tea throughout my work day, and that keeps me well focused. I feel like brewing in tea vs chugging powder or doing any concentrates or extracts keeps my doses down in that "sharpening" range, and I take a few months off pretty naturally every year + don't drink it on the weekends, but when I'm sitting at my desk and need to focus, I usually will sip it. As with all things, YMMV.

I'm a trail ultra runner and I pretty naturally enter a meditative state when I run long, but, here's my question.... Are you running to meditate? Or meditating while running to "kill two birds with one stone"? Multitasking is a habit that's best broken.... what's your intention here? Why do you get on the treadmill in the first place?

Doesn't sound like the group is worth your time or attention... also, and repeat it after me... political arguments on the internet (or WhatsApp) are a losing game. Always. No matter what. That's not even Self-Actualized talk, it's just straight-up laws of the universe. Sorry this happened to you-- if you feel called to, discuss it with your friends, in person, face to face.

Lots of stuff to explore here, but an immediate thing that jumped out at me... multi-time use of word "suffering." I, too have had life-long ("diagnosed," for whatever that means) depression. I used to say "suffering from" or "suffering with," then I softened the language to "dealing with"/"navigating," and things got a little better. Now I don't really even use the labels anymore... it's all "observations" and "inputs." I have a hellacious cold right now, am I "suffering from a cold" or "observing that something's out of alignment"? I know "word tricks" can feel really surface and band-aid and sometimes even condescenting-- the observations you're making are realer than real, but what if it's your relationship to them that need changing. For me, it was a path of not trying to "fix" and no longer "suffering," but observing and acting accordinly... what I used to define as "horrible, excruciating Seasonal Affective Disorder" is now a cue for me that I need to do different things in the months of Nov-Feb. There is an ebb and flow to all things... that's my "rest and relax and recoup and plan" time, not my "go, go, go, do, do, do" time. Hopping into the stream and going with it has taken the suffering out of it. Social Anxiety? Panic Attacks? Oh, yeah!! But I was spending time with shitheads and a-holes and talking about crap that really rubbed me the wrong way... put me in the right situation, and I'm fine. It was all lessons. I am so sorry you're going through this, and I wish you all the best in coming to friendship with all parts of yourself... here's to the next level up with this stuff! <3

I find that napping or sleeping in triggers really notable depression for me... sometimes it's necessary when ill or something, but if I "just decide to sleep in" (which, for me, means about 7 am when my kids wake up), I wake with a heavy, horrible, cloudy depression. Same if I take a nap without being ill.

I have this thought often. The idea of NPC's makes certain things a lot easier to handle, emotionally (ie: millions didn't REALLY die in the Holocaust, I just invented the idea that they did and "rendered" them to teach myself a lesson...) It's a wormhole that's interesting to explore, and I feel like it would be the ultimate "truth" of a lot of what this work explores... But, I don't in my heart feel it to be true, or maybe I just dislike the literal-actual-balls-out narcissism of the idea, the impacts on compassion and empathy, etc. It's an interesting one to mentally chew, though.

I don't *think* this is quite what you're talking about, but... I used to always know what to say/have something to say. I'm a communicator by passion and by trade, and definitely still ALWAYS know what to say to clients, in interviews, etc. As I do this work, I am finding more and more inter-personally that I've just really lost the drive to have a thing to say. It's coming up the most with my soon to be ex-husband. He'll call and unload all kinds of details about his day, and I'm just like... flat. It's not even an "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all" thing, it's just like... "Well, those were certainly all words. Thank you for sharing." Like, what do I say? Why need I say something? It's an observation of how much I carried the relationship by feeding his needs vs holding my own... and, like, "You've given me nothing here that needs my input.. I'm an unnecessary part of this exchange" (except that he needs my "prod" to keep going on and gets incensed if he doesn't get it.) So, I find myself going back to "I hear you... Gotcha... Seen..." but, really, that's all I was "asked for" (if even that.) It's been an interesting observation to have that need to have a thing to say just completely.... go away. Like, it's just simply not there. So now it takes effort to suss out how to let him feel seen and heard but also subtly telescope that I wasn't really ever part of the conversation in the first place anyhow, so aside from having a pair of ears, why am I here?

I wake between 5 and 5:15. Asleep by 9 pm most nights.

What others do or don't do really is no matter. He must find some value, or he wouldn't be doing it.

There are some things that are relatively cut and dried-- this sounds like one for the police. (Just like another one the other day was one for lawyers.) Can you explore the lessons? Sure. Go right head. Everything is a lesson, right? Learn all the lessons you want. But, it's also one where there's a relatively "easy answer." A person who beats people's dogs with a stick and makes threats should be handled by the people who are in the business of dealing with people who beat dogs and make threats.

Also- another thought about pop music- it is pretty much custom-crafted to create "entheogenic" experiences-- for a lot of younger folks, pop is the first time they have an ecstatic awakening (think of those people going apecrap over the Beatles, all the way through.) And, when we say it is "formulaic," it's largely because we know things like repetition, certain tones, rhythms, etc. can force that experience-- add in lights and group consciousness and- BAM. You see it in churches and native cultures all the time. Interestingly, Enigma's "Return to Innocence" is a song that "takes me there" without fail-- I looked up the aboriginal chant in that song, thinking it was gonna be something hella-deep. It's not. It's called "The Elder's Drinking Song" or sometimes "Joyous Drinking Song"- basically aboriginal sea shanty "pop." Anyhow, as you can tell, the "pop" topic is hugely interesting to me (was a big part of my career for a long while). Maybe investigating it as a scientific phenomenon will open you up to at least being like, "Wow, that's some pretty spot-on spiritual theatre right there!"

First- I will listen to your video as soon as my girls wake up- thank you for that. I went through my own musical awakening back in 2001... I used to be "punker than thou" and "gother than thou," and then I took up listening to *Nsync as a slice of good ol' punk rock irony. It was an "act" in the beginning. Somewhere along the way, I realized-- Damn, this music makes me feel GOOD, whereas all the music I thought was "deep-n-shit" made me feel-- well, bad. Angry, etc. It was an ego feed. It was me placing myself on a pedestal of "better than" and "separate from," and for what? I eventually come to love certain types of music for the very fact that it's NOT deep, but is almost like the Frosted Flakes or Krisy Kreme of music-- you know why people scarf Krispy Kremes like they do? Because they are scientifically/mathematically tuned to ping all those craving centers. Because, at least in the moment, they feel really-f*king-good. (I have to say, I never had an *Nsync moment with Krispy Kremes, but give me a Nerds Rope or a pack of SOur Patch Kids and I'm in HEAVEN, despite being 90% an "obnosiously" clean eater. Yes, people even find eating healthy "obnoxious"- the judgement is on all sides, and it's really interesting to watch. At any rate, I've come to learn that there is no such thing as "guilty pleasure," there is no judging on what moves a person-- I just want a person to get moved.

Thank you, @enderx7- I use the "rep" example often when talking with others about meditation, and I absolutely know it to be true. "why after 7 years you still dislike doing it"- To be clear, I don't at all dislike doing it! It is an integral part of my daily practice... I just am exploring more these days the concept of "ease" and "joy," and I find myself, with the 20's, judging mind, "was that in ease?" Right now, the answer is "no." But releasing attachment to that-- "so what? I still accomplished what I 'set out to accomplish'," right? Has made it easier. I've also spent the weekend deep-diving of concepts of Kriya, and I find doing the movements and breathing exercises and chakra focus before sitting make the sitting more "in ease." Possible that getting up from a sleeping state and moving into meditation within 5 minutes wasn't "priming the pump" enough. I appreciate the feedback of everyone- thank you all!