Hey @Vynce , happy to share on this topic. 
For Strategist stage, this Liminal Web essay has many folks listed as well as many organizations and podcasts that interview and feature Strategist thinkers.
For Construct Aware and later stages, I recommend STAGES International map of ego development, which Terri O'Fallon developed to go into further depth on the later stages (Terri used to work alongside Susanne). Susanne's model basically stops after Construct Aware, which is 5.0 in STAGES, and Unitive is a catch-all for all conceivable later stages. Attached is a meta-map that models STAGES relative to other developmental models, including Susanne's. 
Some people who I would consider Construct Aware (5.0 & 5.5 in STAGES) include: 
-Leo has all the characteristics of someone whose center of gravity is at 5.5 Transpersonal, though on an assessment he may score later (6.0 or 6.5) given his many state experiences at later levels. 
-Fionn Wright 
-Bonnitta Roy
-Layman Pascal
-Jordan Myska Allen
-Jill Thomas
-Abigail Lynam
-Forrest Wilson
-Simon Divecha
-Roger Walsh
-Holly Woods
-Gail Hochachka
-John Churchill
-Shinzen Young
Some who I would consider Unitive (6.0+ in STAGES) would be:
-Ken Wilber
-Geoff Fitch
-Terri O'Fallon
-Kim Barta
-Venita Ramirez
-Thomas McConkie
-John Kessler of IPP
-Spring Cheng  
-Dustin Diperna 
-Tom Murray
-Alexander Love
 
I don't see @ValiantSalvatore 's list below as accurate, with the exception of Shinzen Young and Ken Wilber. It's important to remember that just because one is spiritually awakened does not mean they have an ego development that is Construct Aware or later. This is a very common misunderstanding. Spiritual awakening is a separate line of development, and just because one talks about spiritual concepts that seem unitive in nature does not mean they have the other factors that would be necessary to be stabilized at a later ego developmental level. 
 
Hope this helps and happy to answer any questions or curiosities around later-stage ego development

This definitely the case for me too. For me it stems from childhood & teenage years. Older brothers & classmates 'n stuff.
When you feel yourself being triggered, go out of the situation and make a hand scream in order to feel your anger. There are lots of tools for this, but I found the hand scream to be effective, because I can use it quickly no matter where I am.

I’ve just felt this surge of energy to share this practice. Someone recently asked on here what self-confidence is. This practice is what helped me developing true self-esteem, removing all my shame and fears around being me in front of other people.
This is especially life changing for people who feel like they are an isolated bubble when they are moving in the outside world. For people who want to feel completely free talking to anyone at anytime, singing, dancing, flirting and especially people who want to feel confident in feeling their own emotions fully and the emotions of other people, and to create their own experiences and feelings. 
I see lots of people getting good insights about awakening. They understand oneness inside their mind. Yet, when they go outside, they are still operating as an individual contracted bubble that experiences separation from their external environment, hiding from other people and from him or herself.
Vulnerability walks and heart centered meditations are there to break down your energetic boundaries that separate you from the external environment. They are there to set you free emotionally, to expand your ability to create experiences and to start to move into the direction you wish to move into.
It all starts with answering the question ‘How do I really feel when I step outside my house’?
How much does the freedom we have at home contract, how much smaller do you become?
To create contrast, first think about this. If you stand in front of the mirror, how free do you feel? Sometimes we even feel ashamed of being ourself in front of ourself. When you stand there in front of the mirror, go ahead and be crazy. Flirt with yourself, smile at yourself, tease yourself. You know these improv acting classes? Do that with yourself in front of the mirror. How much range do you have? How many characters can you play? Can you even act like you are the opposite sex? A pirate? A baby? 
And now taking this to what this is really about. When you step outside, how much does this freedom go away? How much smaller do we become?
Doing vulnerability walks is about going outside, walking around the city, and taking things in through your body, feeling the tension of people, objects, sounds, smells, feelings, energy and learning to become really vulnerable to all of it, taking it in through your body, learning to channel it down into the earth and becoming non-reactive to the vulnerability that comes up when stepping into tension. It's done completely out of your mind. When you're thinking in tension, you are avoiding vulnerability. 
Tension is everywhere. Walk up to a street that has cars passing by at a high speed. How do you feel thinking about running across the street while you know you can be hit at any time? That’s external reality pushing you into rigidity, into your bubble, in order to keep you safe.
This is not negative, but this dynamic exists with so many other energies from the environment that we shut ourself off to in order to feel safe. We have so much conditioned shame and fear inside our body that separates us from everything around us. Especially people. We try to hide ourself from other people constantly.
Can you walk down the street, completely open and expanded, taking everyone that comes your way right into your body, letting them touch your heart, your stomach, your sexual organs even if it is someone you find sexually attractive? How much of the energy is being blocked by your contractions you have within your body? Look all those people in the eye, for as long as you can. Stare, smile, wink, say hello, become as expansive as you can and create a conduit with these people, merge with them and feel them through this conduit. Feel all the vulnerability within this space, and now GROUND your own reactivity from your body into the earth. This works best without shoes. But of course with shoes as well. But to learn to get more intuitive understanding of grounding, no shoes works best. Or try both and notice contrast.
All your projected stories will come up when you look into the eyes of other people. You will feel through their eyes how you feel about yourself. Can you go up to groups of people and just be in your body, staring at them, not even saying anything? Just being yourself and letting the group into your body and then into the earth. Or do you tense up, contract and feel separation?
How would you feel stepping outside through the city completely naked? Society has conditioned us to feel shame, fear and guilt when we would do so. You can go to jail as well. Or some guy could stab you because he thinks you are offensive.
Try it. Take your shirt off in public and notice how your body contracts. Take your pants off until you are standing in the midst of 100 people, looking at you, while you are standing there completely stripped down into your underwear while getting judged.
Those people who have had awakenings. How non-dual do you feel?
Awakening is much more than just knowing and understanding through the mind. It’s embodying your infinite nature and becoming one with the energetic world, eliminating all of your aversions in your body to whatever is the moment. 
You start at low amounts of tension, low vulnerability, and work to higher amounts of vulnerability until you feel like you are so free in your body and expression, that you have no shame and fear to be who you want to be, to approach who you want to, to steer the energy in the environment in the way you want. Imagine you are so free in public transport, you play a song on your phone and you can get everyone singing along. 
If you work towards high amounts of tension and high vulnerability and can let go of reactivity in that tension, you will feel very powerful in creating the reality you want. 
First you do this practice consciously. You specifically go out every day for some hours to seek out vulnerability and to merge with it.
This practice will let you become really vulnerable. It doesn’t have to be painful. It will be painful the more you resist vulnerability. The more you become one with vulnerability and love it, the more you merge with the universe.
Ultimately, everyone around you is you. Why don’t you feel that way in your body?
You know you’re doing this right when you start to feel lighter in your body and you’re just flowing.
I first tried this practice on psychedelics. I noticed that I always ran home during psychedelic experiences and that I went to my room. In the middle of the trip I finally understood that my path of healing is outside my house, right in the vulnerability that the tension of being in other peoples presence put me in. 
I went outside at that moment, and stayed outside for the rest of the day while I was still tripping. What happened then was super crazy and completely shattered my self identity and all the things I identified with. 

Masculinity is your ability to step into tension and be grounded in tension. Look at navy seals, firemen, police men, or men who are good with women. Look how grounded they are in their body. They are in control, completely vulnerable, yet containing and penetrating the world through their level of emotional embodiment. 
Becoming masculine is all about developing your grounding ability in relationship to tension. Those examples above, if you visualize their energy for a bit, you can start to feel the contrast with your own internal energy and see the gap in masculine grounding ability. 
Walk a bit through the city, and feel your level of contraction in relationship to the world around you. How penetrative are you with your energy? 
How expansive are you? Is your self-expression limited? How reactive are you to your external environment and also to your internal one; the emotions and thoughts about yourself. Do you have a lot of fear, shame and apathy?
Are you taking any responsibility? Are you making decisions? Are you procrastinating and lazy? What is your long term vision? Do you always want to be contained instead of being your own container? 
Your masculine is only going to develop through challenge and serious embodiment work. It is uncomfortable for sure. Especially if you lack solid grounding. It takes time to build that. You will need to walk a path where you are being confronted with all the uncomfortable stuff that will build you over time. 
Get out there, be challenged, seek challenge. Seek confrontation, spend time in nature, walk around the city without shirt and shoes,  become primal again. Do martial arts, build a masculine physique, stop masturbating and half-assing things. Go to men retreats such as awakened masculinity. Face your social fears, face social rejection, confront your emotions, start to build a conscious relationship with your body where you release tension systematically, start to model your reality energetically and then bring it down into the physical body, spend time with other men, get good at game and socialization. 
Are you taking responsibility in fixing your diet, doing your routines, sticking with right habits, focussing on money stuff, doing daily chores? Are you sticking to a right sleeping schedule? Are you focussing on a deeper purpose in terms of career? 
So much stuff you can do man, but the key is: Face tension, gain experience, get out there, stop jacking off, and commit fully.
Embodiment is what you are after and it comes after a lot of experience in the physical world where you are confronting emotions, both internal from childhood such as fear and shame for example, but also emotions that external reality pushes onto you where you have to be able to contain them and ground them, such as being physically confronted by dominant aggressive males for example. 
If you want a feminine women, you need to be able to contain her. Your energy needs to feel solid, where the flow of your consciousness is going down into the earth, because you feel stable and powerful, ready for anything. This is all the result of a lot of experience. A feminine woman has the deepest desire to be contained in a relationship, to feel safe to express her feminine energy. 
Make it your life purpose to connect to this masculine energy, and once you do, you can drop this intention because you are embodied. This karma is then gone away from your identity and you make place for other purpose. 
Some practices to start:
Join a gym, build strength Eat healthy Do Martial arts, jiu jitsu, muay thai, mma, .... Wake up early, take a cold shower Walk in nature barefoot, expose your body to the world, leave t shirt home Social exposure: Become comfortable facing rejection. Face rejection and let go of attachment to validation. Letting go / releasing practices: Hypnosis, meditation, body awareness, sedona/lester levenson/ hawkins Approach women Do oshos dynamic meditation early in the morning in a public park.  Find a community of like minded men: The Fearless man on youtube for example. Go to workshops and retreats for men: Awakened masculinity, fearless man workshops, .... Psychedelics: Letting go of your self-identity Full body awareness when outdoors: relaxation and belly breathing Look people in the eyes when you walk down the street, feel the tension. Penetrate people with your energy. No half-assing These things have the aim to release feelings that are currently blocking your natural flow of masculine energy. When done as daily routines, with full commitment, these things will adapt your nervous system over the months and years and there comes a point of permanent embodiment where these shifts in feeling that result from the practices, form a natural part of your identity. Things are effortless and expansive then. You have total freedom. You can then start to let go of some of the practices if you wish. You have a lot more dynamic range in the things you can do because you are not contracted by blockages any more. Your feminine and masculine become more synergistic and harmonize, and you can bounce between them whenever you wish to. 
And the most important thing... Stop compulsive consumption of theory. And let go of needing to change over night. Change never happens as a result of one thing you do. It is compounded effect over time that is what changes you, just as building muscles will change the body. Tension and resistance will change your masculine embodiment level. And it is a proces that works over time. 1% each day. Take action and let go of needing to understand everything, needing to find the big answer, the next book that contains all the answers etc. Do the practices that are causing you to feel resistance, and do them rigorously with a david goggins mentality. 

Books that had the biggest influence on me & why:
Viktor Frankl - Man's serach for meaning 
- Incredible story about finding meaning in difficult situations, just an awesome read in general
The art of loving - Erich Fromm
- Beautiful short book about learning to love
Nassim Taleb - Antifragility
- Understanding complex systems & antifragility, which are fundamental concepts in any integral worldview

Your Unique self - Marc Gafni
- Understanding the role of individuality in a nondual world

More than allegory - Bernardo Kastrup
- Chapter 3 is the most insane and interesting trip report I have ever read

Bernardo Kastrup - All his books!
- Best rational arguments for idealism(nonduality)/against physicalism available right now
The war of art - Steven Pressfield
- Overcoming resistance 

Passion of the western mind - Richard Tarnas
- Intellectual-cultural development of the modern world view - super important to understand why we think what we think

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - Robert Pirsig
- One of my alltime favorite books

Siddharta - Herman Hesse
- Beautiful little story about finding his own path to enlightenment

Gödel, Escher, Bach - Douglas R. Hofstadter
- Difficult to get through masterpiece about reality as a strange loop. 

Meditations on Moloch: https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/TxcRbCYHaeL59aY7E/meditations-on-moloch
- Must read blog post about the functionalities of society

Bhagavad Gita
- I dont think I need to explain this one

Tao Te Ching - Lao tze (Laotsi)
- Ancient book, full of wisdom! Difficult to understand without explanations

The master and his emissary - Ian McGilchrist
- Masterpiece about how left/right brain dynamics shape our worldview

Irreducible Mind: Toward a Psychology for the 21st Century - Edward Kelly
- The best, no bullshit summary of psy/parapsychology/mind-research I have read so far. Its a huge book and super expensive. I got the PDF - if you want it, just PM me.
The Almanack of Naval Ravikant
- Grat book for money/happyness mindset

Osho - Courage
- little book about courage and fear, really enjoyed it! 

Kapil Gupta - Direct Truth: Uncompromising, non-prescriptive Truths to the enduring questions of life
- Interesting book about all sorts of stuff, really apprechiate his perspective

Ending medical reversal - Dr Vinay Prasad 
- If you are working in the medical field, this one is a must read in my opinion.

Ken Wilber - A brief history of everyhting
- Integral worldview must read
Ken Wilber - Kosmic conciousness (audiobook)
- Incredibly deep and enjoyable interview with Ken Wilber. Available on audible! 

Why most published reserach is wrong - John Ionnidis: https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.0020124
- Ground breaking paper about certain biases in the academic literature

After - Dr. Bruce Geryson
- Awesome, no bullshit summary of NDE reserach

Daniel Kaneman - Thinking fast and slow
- Super important framework for improvement in sensemaking

Helgoland - Carlo Rovelli
- Enjoyable beginner level book to quantum mechanics and the propably most substantiated interpretation we have of it: Quantum loop gravity! Its the one theory that fits like a glove with spiritual insights and is therefore an awesome framework  to understand QM in a non-BS way. 

Models - Mark Manson
- IMO the most important book you can read to get good with women

Autobiography of a Yogi - Paramahansa Yogananda
- Classic one!  - bit weird and magical, but I really enjoyed it! 

Breath - James Nestor 
- Really cool and important book about the importance of proper breathing

The Art of learning - Josh Waitzkin
- Amazing book about someone who goes into into the nature of learning and backs it up with real results! 

Just to name a few  

Nice trip report
I really like the twist of giving up and being love.
I needed to hear this
Do you want answers from us to these questions?

I think it is funny that people clearly have no clue about the rich spiritual traditions these Western religions have, why do you even have to bring some eastern religion into it if you are from the West?
The Western tradition's got all the teachings you need, in a language that is more accessible imo.
Christianity has an really profound mystical tradition,  especially the Eastern Orthodox Church.
Here are just a handful of profound teachers:
Pseudo-dionysius the areopagite. 
St John of the cross.
Meister Eckhart.
Gregory of Nyssa.
Origen.
The Desert Fathers.
Augustine Of Hippo.
Maximus The Confessor.
Johannes Scotus Eriugena
St. Teresa of Avila.
Thomas Keating, a modern mystic.
And ofcourse the original mystic , Jesus.
This is just an example, there is plenty more.
One does not have to go running to the East to find some good spiritual tradition, that is purely a bias because you perhaps dont like how some Christians are behaving etc.
But if you truly look into the Tradition you will see that it got everything you need to in order to live a spiritual life.
Trust me, i've been into the eastern teachings as well, and when I discovered the Western counterpart, it hooked me in.
Not as an ideology , but as an actual practice.
But everybody likes different ofcourse, but I feel that we in the West have somehow pissed on our local religions in hope that the eastern is better, which I say is a mistake imo.
We should cherish our religions and also sort of the bad stuff and look at how rich the spiritual tradition in for example Christianity really is.
That's just my two cents tho ?
Also Leo is more Western in his approach to GOD then perhaps he care to admit ?
God is ineffable but also a divine infinite mind, that is what Christianity has been saying all along, the Logos.
The uncaused cause, infinite love, infinite goodness, infinite power, infinite intelligence, infinite wisdom etc.
"In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God and the word was God " 
 

Specialists keep on discovering proof that our thoughts — positive and negative — don't simply have mental impacts, they likewise affect our body. The pros of positive reasoning incorporate less pressure, better overall physical and emotional wellbeing, longer life expectancy, and better adapting aptitudes. Don’t give up. Remember, you are worth it!
A positive mental self view is critical to carrying on with a glad and solid life. Study shows that individuals who feel sure about themselves in terms of confidence would be able to problem solve and settle on better choices, face more challenges, advocate for themselves, and endeavor to meet their own objectives. Indeed there is a whole field dedicated to it called Positive Psychology. Here are a few plans to assist you with being positive AND feel good. 
 
1. Focus on Your Thoughts
One procedure that will help you think all the more positively is to get mindful of your negative "self talk" and supplant negative contemplations with positive ones. Some of the time we envision the most exceedingly terrible in circumstances or about ourselves and regularly are ignorant of the negative contemplations. 
 
- Positive thoughts are those that give us a positive outlook on our ground. Set aside effort to applaud yourself for the easily overlooked details. 
- It is essential to effectively consider what you are feeling and how it is depicted in your life. Attempt to discover yourself thinking a negative idea, and state "STOP" to divert yourself to positive musings. 
- Work on supplanting negative self-talk with positive words. For instance, supplant "I hate getting up in the morning," with "I am appreciative for another day." 
- Record negative thoughts. Carry around with you a little journal consistently and write down negative musings at whatever point you notice them. 
- Assess connections in your own and work life, and encircle yourself with the individuals who are likewise positive and backing you. 
- Create positive articulations to supplant negative ones utilizing words, for example, upbeat, serene, cherishing, excited, and warm. 
- Keep away from negative words, for example, stressed, terrified, annoyed, drained, exhausted, not, never, and can't. 
- Make sure to smile, it's infectious! 
 
2. Support Your Body and Mind
The fundamental human longing is to feel adored, and here and there that affection comes from the inside. What's more, to cherish ourselves completely, we should fuse healthy habits into our lives for a supported body, mind and soul. A couple of ways you can sustain your body are by working out, eating a healthy diet, and associating with others. A couple of approaches to feed your mind are to do a brain puzzle, think, breathe deeply, and enjoy a good laugh. These exercises combined sustain both the body and brain all the while to improve positive reasoning and a positive outlook. 
 
- Each day when you awaken, thank your body for resetting and restoring itself so you can appreciate the day. 
- Be your body's closest companion and ally, not its foe. 
- Wear comfortable clothes that you like, that express your own style, and that vibe great to your body. 
- Remember your good fortune, not your flaws. 
- Before you hit the sack every evening, expound on how you treated yourself well during the day.
 
3. Give Back and Help Others
Offering back positively affects your body and will cause you to feel incredible. Studies show that when individuals gave to good causes, the bit of the mind liable for sensations of remuneration were set off. The cerebrum likewise delivers feel-great synthetic substances and prods you to perform more kind acts. Offering back can likewise improve your confidence, feeling of having a place, and cause you to feel more grateful and energetic about what you have. 
 
- Volunteer at a food bank or neighborhood local area administration project. 
- Give old apparel or family things to a neighborhood drive, Goodwill, or Salvation Army. 
- Offer to help a neighbor or relative out of luck. 
- Perform one purposeful and thoughtful gesture. 
- Give blood. 
- Cook for somebody out of luck. 
- Partake in a neighborhood stroll to fund-raise for a foundation or condition (e.g. Diabetes walk).  
 
4. Fabricate Your Inner Confidence
Having a low confidence or feeling awful about yourself may keep you from doing the things you love. Furthermore, low confidence may impede the advancement of sound associations with your loved ones. Individuals with a helpless confidence are bound to encounter declined physical and emotional well-being that influences their everyday lives prompting pressure and nervousness. 
 
- Supplant the word 'can't' with 'can.' 
- Supplant the word 'attempt' with 'will.' 
- Zero in on the present. 
- Make a rundown of your present needs and wants and how you will deal with accomplishing them. 
- Put aside a particular time every day for you. 
- Put resources into yourself – pursue a class or workshop. 
- Search for the positive qualities in things. 
- Make signs that state positive musings and spot them in spots where you will see them frequently. 
 
5. Make Affirming Lists 
Make records, rehash them frequently to help you feel more positive about yourself. Compose confirming records into your diary or a bit of paper, as: 
- 5 of your qualities, for instance, constancy, boldness, amicability, imagination. 
- 5 things you respect about yourself, for instance the manner in which you have brought up your youngsters, your great connection with your sibling, or your otherworldliness. 
- 5 biggest accomplishments in your day to day existence up until this point, such as recuperating from a genuine ailment, or figuring out how to utilize a PC. 
- 10 things you can do to make yourself chuckle. 
- 10 things you could do to help another person.
 
E-BOOK ON THE POWER OF POSITIVE THOUGHTS: https://gumroad.com/l/power-of-a-positive-mindset
 

Emotional mastery is the ability to understand our emotions, cognitive processes, bodily reactions to our emotions, and how the mind body connection works. It means increasing our awareness, doing shadow work, improving our breath, posture, weeding out cognitive distortions and limiting beliefs and self image. It means developing your emotional intelligence, and your adversity quotient. It means developing your emotional mastery to the point where you are able to live a powerful life.
Emotional Mastery is built on many foundations and incorporates many aspects and facets.
Each type of emotion and our relationship to it requires its own skillset, practice, research and tools to master it. I suggest creating a reading list of books as your grow in awareness of what areas need work. Chances are each area of your emotional journey has a few books written on it.
Emotional Mastery is a process and a practice that we develop slowly over time. Sometimes it means doing really well, and other times it means consciously going through a messy period where we fail to live up to our ideals. We often learn the deepest emotional mastery lessons from our roughest lows.
Emotional Mastery does not mean that you are never angry, sad, depressed, horny, confused, etc. It means that you approach these emotions in a skillful and conscious way that allows you to live the life you want, reach your goals and spend more time feeling well, than feeling ill. 
Emotional mastery at its most developed is being able to feel well within yourself, being able to navigate the complexities of our social matrix with ease and the ability to skillfully recenter and get yourself back on track when you fall out of alignment with your values. It means feeling and accepting all your emotions.
In order to master your emotions you will need to develop this definition for yourself. For me 5 things that come to mind as I write this are:
1. Ability to relate to all emotions in a skillful way
2. Total acceptance of all emotions 
3. Systems for living including: Meditation, Yoga, Qigong, relaxation techniques, journaling for contemplation, self reflection, affirmations and visualization
4. Being centred, grounded, sober, calm, peaceful, content, long term thinking
5. It means exposing yourself to a wide variety of social situations, stress, positions, projects, etc 
6. It means having such a high level of control, and understanding over your emotions that you are able to live the Good life. 
7. Just being content with being
8. Developing a healthier relationship to fear so you can live the life you want.
Are your emotions and thoughts allowing you to live a powerful, loving and creative life? Or is it hellish life sucking mess where you can't control yourself?

It’s not subjective. The biggest distortion that occurs on this forum is repression of the feminine side.
You can tell if you take a peek at the dating/relationship section.
You may not recognize it when you see it, so I’ll mention some symptoms of feminine repression below. And you’ll notice many of these popping up on the forum.
Intellectualization Spiritual bypassing  Ineffectiveness in birthing an idea into reality  Lack of emotional intelligence The mind is seen as superior to the heart, which creates a lack of clarity and non-directionality Decisions are made from a place of pain avoidance or abstract “shoulds” and “should nots” All things can be rationalized- devil’s advocate  Difficulties with women  Misogyny and bitterness  Trying to escape reality  Anti-Earthiness  Valuing the ideal over the real Coldness Competition to prove one’s worth Lots of judgment around holding up a certain standard of masculinity  Men policing each other’s masculinity  Seeing social isolation as a virtue Macho posturing - aping masculinity Prickliness

If the crush is telling you that, then use it to explore the root of the place where the unhealthiness is coming from.
Think about why you've been struck by the Cupid's Arrow for this person. Really make a contemplation practice out of it.
Our subconscious will attract us to whoever embodies qualities that we have pushed away, disowned, repressed, and denied in ourselves. Is there anything about this person that you have repressed in yourself?
If so, there is probably some Shadow integration that's needed in order to not come into alignment with these attractions.
But the thing is... it's the LEAST HELPFUL thing to do to repress your feelings about this person or to try to get rid of them. Your feelings are a direct SYMPTOM of a deeper ROOT. And if you suppress your symptom, you can't get use of it in finding the deeper root.
It's a bit like a root vegetable... like a carrot. If you try to cut off the leaves, the carrot will still be underground. And you can actually use the leaves to pull the carrot up.
This crush is the leaves... but what is the carrot?
What is the deeper root that these feelings are alerting you about? 

@Boshra
You need to start working on emotional mastery.
It's essentially about gaining greater understanding of how affects move into awareness as feelings and paired with thoughts create movement, emotions in us, and the lack of consciousness and awareness in this process.
Emotions seemingly happen to us, we're becoming victims under circumstances, we find ourselves involuntarily riding on the emotional run-away trains, seemingly without buying a ticket, without choice whether to or not to get on that emotional train. We simply find ourselves on that emotion train, going nowhere, fast. 
Emotional mastery is about understanding the function of affects, and how to have a healthy relationship with them, so that we can take constructive action and minimize suffering in that process. 
We have the control to create a space, a gap, between affects as an impulse, the coming into our awareness as a feeling, and the creation of emotion.
Creating that space, it gives us room for constructive thought processes to happen, the choice not to ride that emotional train, and turning to constructive responses. 
Why would we ever want to ride that train? It is in no way helpful. We need to learn to observe the arrival of that train, and to choose to not get in it, or rather choose to only ride the positive ones - there are positive and negative affects. 
These affects/impulses exist for a reason, momentanomeous in nature, for us to act upon them. If we fail to act upon them, and revert to repression of emotions, this will fill our glass and it will overflow, resulting in destructive behaviors, emotional outbursts against others and self.
We can repress both negative and positive feelings. 
Depending on our personality, that destructive focus may be internalized or externalized. Although, even for the one that internalize this hurt, sense of wrongness, and suffering, it is very likely to spill out onto the people that we are the most comfortable with, closest to us, and whom matter most to us, family members, a spouse, and possibly even our own children.
If our glass is constantly full, it's going to spill, often, and make mess. The more into a repressive behavior we are, the bigger the glass we create for ourselves, and the bigger the spill it will be, making bigger and bigger messes. 
It is our personal responsibly to develop emotional skills to constructively interact with these impulses. And that calls for us to set feeling if being wronged, and victimhood aside, and take full responsibly for these affects, feelings, and emotions, as well as the triggers and the aftermath we create, it's all our responsibility to own and to change how we relate to it all. 
We are empowered to control our reactions towards this, we cannot control the world and the fact that affects are, and happen, and feelings will be triggered.
Whether we create movement in us, emotions, is something that we can create great intention within us to learn to master. 
To make this happen, we need to understand how we relate to feelings. Often it incorporates the inability to communicate feelings in a non-triggered state, which acts as a reliever, a valve, keeping equilibrium in our system so the pressure does not build up.
This is where acting upon affects is so important. They need some action, either create change possibly by setting boundaries, internal or external, to embrace through acceptance, or letting go via no action by choice (choosing no-action is an action).
These should never, ever, be suppressed. They will come back to humaunt you in unpredictable and destructive ways. 
People experiencing low emotional mastery tend to create control mechanisms that work to reduce the suffering involved in the negative emotional process, through avoidance of experience.
Essentially adding layer after layer of control that try to ensure that we don't end up in an emotional state. Of course, this works in a way, but adds something that we cannot control and which perpetuates the suffering involved, pushing it and us towards a breaking point with increasingly violent outbursts. 
Learn more a out affects, e.g. try Google Tomkins Affect Theory, learn what affects are, and what they are for, and what kind of action they are calling for.
Investigate you triggers, these are yours to own and to disarm. Where there is a trigger, you need to befriend it, but first you have to learn to see them, then you can own and disarm them one by one. 
For each trigger owned, the more space and pressure will be relieved from your system and the more momentum you gain.
Also, you need to dig past the surface, where triggers help you become aware of past happenings that you have repressed by not taking action, you need to bring these out of the shadows and address them, in constructive ways. 
There is a reason why you have ended up using what you do as your personal coping and survival strategy. You need to learn to unveil and see that is underneath to fully accept whatever is there. From there you can create powerful change. 
Exposing yourself to others is a part of this process, talking to people, perhaps a professional, therapy, but also exposing your inner self to friends and family, dropping roles, façade and allow yourself to act in a more authentic way. 
Notice how talking feelings/emotions with family, those with whom it ought to be easiest to turn to for this, and to find support with, often is the hardest. But doing so, is often the thing that carry the greatest effects. This regardless of their ability to receive what you share, that sharing is more-so for the facilitation of your own healing. 
Learning to do all of this will result in the emergence of emotional detachment.
Affects are, there is no way of controlling what is. 
Feelings may be, when something comes into our awareness. 
Emotions, movement in us, happens after attachment of thoughts. 
Notice how detachment of engaging thoughts helps reducing the occurrence of unfavorable feelings. 
Simply explained, that which means nothing to us does not call for our attention, and passes us by, without causing ripples. 
There are numerous things that mean nothing to you but which triggers others, and vice-versa, there are numerous things that trigger you but carry no what-so-ever meaning to someone else.
This is represented by the bagage we carry with us, past experiences, biases, social context, upbringing and so on, and so on. This creates our triggers. 
We also need to learn what kind of bagage we carry with us, and choose to let go of such bagage that is weighing us down, through processing and acceptance. With no knowledge of what is in our backpack, we cannot free ourselves from it. 
In all of this, in this process, there should be no shame, no guilt, and an abundance of self-acceptance and compassion.
Love what you find, love yourself, and that love will guide you and set you free. 
I hope you find some sort of value in this. 
Bottom line, you have to create this for yourself, and there is no reason not to start right now. 

not in their world, no. They haven't unfortunately be trained for holistic thinking and it usually ends with a diagnosis and prescription. Not their fault, just huge systemic defects in medical education. There are many many potential causes of migraines. 
Is there any more information you would be able to share with us? With migraines it is always necessary to rule out all possible obvious and less obvious causes: 
more obvious: dehydration, stimulant use, caffeine intolerance, chronic stress, high salt/protein/fat intake, high consumption of animal foods, deficiencies indiet, sleep deprivation, posture problems, excessive screen time, insufficient contacts/glasses or a need for optic support, excess of sugar, fizzy drinks, added fructose, sweeteners, chemicals in food
less obvious: food intolerances and/or sensitivities, medication you are on, toxins in the environment (e.g. certain cosmetics), struggling liver, blood sugar problems, histamines or salicylates in food 
even less obvious: microbiome disturbance, increased gut permeability, mold problems, neurological problems that migrains are just  side effect of
 

I won't address all of your post. However, the quote above striked the thought in me that you get what you focus on. Instead of not wanting fear or rejection, you focus on what you want in that moment. "I feel fear when chatting someone up I am interested in. Instead of avoiding fear, I want to [be connected and present to myself / let go of the outcome with the girl] here right now."
Fear doesn't resonate. Fear is not true. What is that what you want that fear points you to?

Scheduled my vaccine for Tuesday.
Maybe I can shoot a video of me getting it. We'll see.
Pfizer version.
Neither the Pfizer nor the Moderna vaccines contain any heavy metals.
Don't delay, schedule yours today.

Dno why I'm writing this. But today I smoked what I guess was about ~100-120 mg of changa (45% DMT) and this trip surpasses anything I have ever in my life experienced in profoundity, inlcuding earlier DMT trips and my "2CB-awakening" trip. The trip lasted almost an hour. I listened to music in my Sony NC bluetooth headphones during the whole trip, and it was fucking amazing. These two songs was what I "peaked on" I guess :
 

In many ways the trip was similar to the 2CB trip in regards to the basic insight "Hello, wake up, you're God and everything is absolutely Perfect", this was just a much deeper diver into what that means.

I now feel like I could jump out from a 20-story building and absolutely nothing would happen, except Love. Of course, *not* doing that silly thing is also Love. Everything that happens, everything that has happened is absolutely perfect. Just God. Just Love. 

The reason I feel that is that it has become -- through this DMT trip -- so obvious to me, that everything is just pure Infinite Consciousness/Intelligence, in other words Love, God. So in a relative sense, of course the character, WiTO would "die", but it wouldn't really make any difference. I wouldn't die. Nothing would really die, except a figment of God's imagination (i.e. "My" imagination).

I have realized on a deep fundamental level that there is absolutely no reason to fear anything.

Yet, if you fear something, that too is just God/Love playing the game of feeling separated (and thus fearing things).

Suffering = Healing . Wauw. Through the 1 hour trip I went through practically every human emotion possible. From manic laughter, infinite joy, to the deepest bottoms of hell. Yet even when I was experiencing the pain of hell, I saw that that too, was Love.

There has to be apparant "evil" / "wrong-doing" for God to "learn" (imagine) how to be 'Good'. You see, if there was no bad people in the world, no people doing any bad things, then what would stop you from raping/doing harm? Cos in that scenario "it hasn't been done" and therefore you might as well just do it, cos you're infinitely free and infinitely powerful to imagine whatever you want.

It's because that God is truely INFINITE that everything exists, including hell, pain, suffering, wrong doing, rape etc. 

If those things were not possible, then God wouldn't be God, which of course is not possible, cos God is God (is what everything is).

God - We/I/You - are playing a delicate game of letting our imagination run amok, freely, and all kinds of "bad" things happen (World War 1/2, murder, rape starvation, the list goes on) but that is truly and fully deliberate of God. By imaginaging all the "bad" things He/She/I is capable of doing, and seeing how much pain/suffering it inflicts on to Himself, God learns to constrain Herself to only be acting out of Love. (I'm speaking relatively here, cos absolutely everything is just pure Love).

What I mean when I say "Everything/I/You = God" is just that everything is perfectly planned, perfectly deliberate. Ultimately, nothing wrong can happen, only Love. God doesn't make actual mistakes, only "apparant" mistakes (cos She's Infinite).

You are infinitely powerful. You are just absolute pure Love. You can make absolutely ANYTHING happen, yet you on a deep level, you don't want to just be able to walk on water or fly like an angel, cos if that happened, the beautiful dream would collapse onto itself. Boundaries/rules are nessecary to play the game of life. Which We are all playing/imagning :-)  On the other hand, I also understood that in other "dimensions of reality" you are actually doing all that. You are swimming around in Oceans of Love, flying on clouds, being all the birds, whales, having infinite amounts of sex with perfect imagined dreamed up Girls/Guys. I had all that and experienced all that doing my changa trip. I experienced anything I wanted to imagine. Just magic. Just God. DMT is truly something.

Yet, the reason why "you" are here in "this dimension" of existence is because you got tired of all that, and wanted to imagine a more complex game, where you forgot you were all-powerful and instead you imagined yourself to be "poor little me" stuck in a cruel outside world. 

Like an ultimate test/game for God Herself to test how capable of Love He is. (Of course God knows She is capable of anything, yet God loves playing games. Haha omfg it's so beautiful I could cry. It is all just 100% Love. Just perfect. Just God playing with ITSELF. WHICH IS ME. WHICH IS YOU!!! HAHA. WAUW. It's unbelieveable. Ineffeable. Completely ineffeable. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD, YOU CANT BELIEVE IT! HAHA. JEEZ. OMFG.  how could it be otherwise? HAHA.:-) <3

I see a lot of people on the path whining about feeling alone after having a Oneness/God-relization. They say "It's all just me. None else around. So much loneliness"... but this is just your ego talking. Really. If you truly understood what God/Oneness is (=what you truly are) you wouldn't feel lonely at all. On the contrary you would go out and hug random people on the street and tell them how much you love them. That's what you would do. Cos those random people are seen to be you, and you can't help but Love yourself. 

Playing the "It's so lonely"-card is a trick of the ego to keep you from God/DMT/Love-consciousness. It's basically a defense mechanism to keep you asleep. It's the ego way of interpretating the teaching/insight "I am God" to "Oh how depressing, I am alone"... while in actuality the teaching "I am God" if truly understood would lead you to scream and cry manically out of pure joy and go hug everyone and say sorry to everyone you have offended, hugging everyone telling them they are Perfect and worthy of infinite love.

What you truly, on the deepest level, want is just Love. Hehe. It is so simple, and yet ineffeable and so immensely complex and beautiful.

Every twisted situation, every twisted question about x and y just, ultimately, boils down to Love. How could it be otherwise.

Now of course, this teaching can be pretty powerful in the hands of an untranscended ego. So called Zen Devils. "Oh I'm God, so then I can't suffer anymore!" (me 8 months ago  now more humble, and seeing Suffering=Healing=)) or "Oh I'm God, so I can just rape or kill somebody for my own pleasure, it's still just Love! Hah!" ... well yes, you could do that, and it would be absolute pure Love, but it's just so happens to be the case, that if you ACTUALLY "understood" "got the message" that Reality is Love = God = You, and that everything is Perfect, and that nothing bad can happen, then you wouldn't want to inflict unnesaccary pain onto others. It just goes deep against the inner manifesation of God in human flesh to do that. When you have truly merged your ego with the knowledge of "the True You being God/Love/Everything/Nothing/Consciouesness/Absolute/Infinite" basically every breath you take will give you joy, cos you see how miraciously Perfect/Intelligent/Loving absolutely everything is, INCLUDING not raping/Murdering/doing other silly things. In other words, you constrain yourself to relatively speaking maximizing Love (although absolutely speaking Love is always maximized hehe). You merge the Relative (Life) with The Absolute (God), and you then ultimately come to realize that Relative=Absolute=Love=Life=Existence=God. Hehe. It's hard to convey in words, actually impossible.

Now does this mean, you just have to smoke X amount of DMT/Changa and then you become enlightened? 

No. Also I wouldn't call myself enlightened. There is still egoic needs and wants, still a separate self trying to conceptualize it all. Hehe.

But anyway, I think in order to have such a deep full-blown God-relization trip, you need to have a clean soul first. Souls that are unclean/still are shadowy/selfish will by design not recieve a full blown God-realization trip, cos that wouldn't be Love.

So clean yourself op by maximizing Love:D Which often means doing the hard things, i.e. meditation-habit, eating healthy, exercising, being kind to others (and most importantly to yourself, all though others are also yourself, oh god:D)

Does that mean I say my mind/ego/soul is 100% pure? Nah, far from it. I also believe shit can get much deeper still. I'm amazed by how infinitely deep the rabit hole of realizing your own Godhood goes. That hole is infinite of course. Always more realization to be had.

Suffering = Healing. Everything is God/Love. All is well. Love ya all <3

Feel free to ask any Qs.

Also, if you want my trip report summed up in a video, here ya go:
 
Ultimately, I have nothing to say. Just keep on doing what you love. If you do something you don't love and which doesn't feel right, try to change it into something you love. Also dive into your fears. Gold is hidden as a gift if you do the things you fear. You are all perfect beyond perfect. You are all Love.

This. Is. Awesome. ?

@Valach  What may be good for you is being chill with girls. Hanging out with them on a regular basis.
Feel into your body what feels right when being with them. Hear into your body when you feel you overstep boundaries. Be non-serious with them, joke with them, laugh about yourself.
If you want to talk deep about something, talk deep with them and you feel right away if they are up for it.
Enjoy their being. Enjoy sharing your grounded presence with them. Enjoy sharing your authentic self with them, and if they don't like it that's ok because there are so many people out there with whom you can connect on a deep level.
 
Regarding sex, just enjoy their presence. Have a genuine intent of enjoying this moment with them. Be fun and be open to anything crazy that can happen. Sex doesn't have to happen, but you also don't mind if it happens. You are chill about that. You respect others boundaries and are open for them opening up. You love to make them feel safe. You love to make them emotional, to bring them on an emotional rollercoaster with you. You have fun. You enjoy this moment. You don't have a destination or end goal, you just want to have fun and enjoy the time with them. Sex is one stop on the road you are traveling.
I know it is hard to be not needy about sex, if you crave it. Focus on a fun, chill and non-judgemental vibe. You want to hang out with them, just assume they want too. Assume they want you, and they can always show their boundaries if the case would be true that they don't want you. You know you want them - let your vibe let them know that they have a sexual being in front of them. Move on if you feel they aren't fun to be with anymore. You are chill.
Counterintuitively, you are soft and you let go of any character you think you should play. You let go of any judgements of them or you. You just flow.

-- Good lighting. Color lights, lighting strips and salt lamps are good. But no flickering or strobe lights. That is distracting and would make people nauseous. Bright white light is harsh.
-- If you have different rooms and different types of lighting, it will give the impression of different environments with different moods. Generally, the kitchen is the brightest. If you have an outdoor space (patio, deck or porch) - torch lighting is great. And fire pits are awesome. In dimmer areas, blacklights can be cool. 
-- I would notify the neighbors that you will be having a party with music (and perhaps invite them to stop by). This courtesy will increase their tolerance for noise and they will be much less likely to get irritated and call public safety to quiet you down. 
--  I would have some games out so people can spontaneously play if they want. Something like Cards Against Humanity
-- Position things like vases and table lamps away from the action so half-drunk partiers don't knock it over and break it. 
-- Unique forms of alcohol. Punch with fruit, jello shots etc. 
-- Cannabis. With 30 people, a handful will like to smoke. 
-- And of course, good food and music. 
-- Shut the doors to any upstairs rooms you don't want people entering

@Pendulum  Advice & guidance hmm....
What I discovered just today is that there's the belief that I am not worthy. That doesn't feel good of course. So I made an affirmation containing "I am loved & I am worthy" and speaking happened on its own without control: the character spoke what he always knew as he spoke the prayer, his truth. I literally cried my soul out. So much anger at keeping myself small. So much drive to get what is mine. Feeling strong to steamroll to the life that I want to live. Feeling good now.
In reality you want to be great and shine your true self and show yourself to the world unabashedly. You want to rip your heart open and share your gift with the world.
Any area in life with continued & reoccuring bad results is an area where limiting beliefs are working. Limiting believes are tricky. There can be meta-limiting beliefs that affect many areas of your life at the same time. Uncover what you believe about yourself that doesn't feel good and keeps you small. Peel back the layers. Drop the masks of what you think to be.
When you recognized your limiting beliefs you can turn them around and make an affirmation. Perhaps visualization works for you too: visualize how you feel when you are [worthy & loved] because you are already it right now. Everything gets dropped that arises and doubts or contradicts the affirmation & visualization because you recognize that they aren't true, they don't ring true or resonate in you. You are already that what you want. You know yourself better than any limiting belief could ever convince you of.

For me:
Daily meditation Feeling into myself Becoming sensitive to my inner workings Sensing intuition aka higher self Feeling into intuition Having the ability to "connect" to intuition at will Making a dreamboard and writing all things on it that I feel and that intuition points to Letting go of myself in actualizing what I want and what intuition points to Being the higher self

@aurum How would you market this when there is resistance?

Sam seems to be conflating Self-Awareness with Consciousness. Consciousness exists in different states of awareness. For our planet, it is only recently that lifeforms have evolved the capacity for Consciousness to become Self-Aware. Being under anesthesia doesn't mean Consciousness disappears, any more than being a rock or a tree makes Consciousness disappear. It is imbued in every being, whether that being is Self-Aware or not.

Now I can understand how intelligence, being, goodness and God knows what else is not coming from me. Thanks for clearing that up.

Like 'past lifes' and 'telepathy'?