Loving Radiance

In similar situation here. This quote describes me exactly. This is what I found out and what I work on right now: Grounding is the most important. What others wrote, mindfulness of sensation etc., is good. In my heavy dissociation episodes even focusing on sensations and the world is distorted and tainted. If feeling heavily dissociated, talk to somebody who is open to nonjudgmental listening and holding the space for self-expression. Just speaking about it helps. And so does just being silent when no words want to come out. Cut out the distraction with your phone... I know it's hard. Meeting the fear you avoid can make you more dissociated. For that proper grounding is good. When dissociated, embrace your experience right now. It's okay. Hold the space for yourself, like holding space for somebody who's having a good cry. My grounding meditation is focusing on sensation in the body WHILE also noticing the surrounding sensation like bird songs. Focus on the connection of your body IN or WITH the world. Practice this throughout the day to get to 24/7 body awareness. Physical exercise Mindful eating Aim to reduce intellectual activity to short high intensity bursts.

Please explore that "unethical" thing a bit more. How do you feel it is unethical when you tell her stuff about your friend? Do you imagine that her image and behavior towards her will change? Or do you imagine that it's like gossiping, now that she also will know your friend? Or is it something else? Yes, you didn't state your boundaries. Now you did that in your voicemail, about the 1:1 dynamic and communication. On another hand, how do you feel about not having communicated your boundaries? What emotions did arise when you heard that they would talk to each other? Please write that down before continuing to read. Do you feel violated in your boundaries, and do you want to make her be responsible for that? Do you put that violation on your therapist for overstepping your not-communicated boundaries? Did you communicate in that message that your boundary is them speaking 1:1 (no matter if teacher-student communication)? If not, then Annie is justifying and defending herself.

Cut out porn. Figure out your life purpose. Perhaps break up, when you did step 1 & 2 and still feel limited and unhappy in your relationship.

When one plays around with the URL of the forum, one stumbles on a quick way to access old accounts which now are getting overlooked because their posts are stored deep in the dark archives of the forum. Using the URL of profiles, one can access even the oldest accounts and can possibly stumble on some gems. It goes like this: "actualized.org/forum/profile/[#]-[any # or letter]" You get like this to the 2nd account: "actualized.org/forum/profile/2-xyz" --> "Mod1" Experiment a bit and share interesting profiles! I'll start: @Elton Here since the beginning! @ElenaO Former mod and also here since the old days! @Empty One of the oldies and still somewhat active! @Azrael Treasure trove about psychs and also online in the recent past

This thread reads like my biography

My home remedy is cleaning my teeth But for real, when I take my time (10min) and make it a meditation then it's away after few times of brushing.

@TheOneReborn @Oeaohoo Thank you!

@thisintegrated Grace is a mysterious force. Some people who had a shit childhood and upbringing sort themselves out in a few months with help from a therapist. Some other people had a great childhood, where they were loved, held, seen and encouraged by all and still they spend decades in therapy. There seems to be a unique sense of love in those people who grow faster compared to others. @Husseinisdoingfine Are you in therapy to process this? You will suffer less and experience more joy later on when you start early.

That's great! Good that you want to do the work. And I would say that you can still go to therapy. You don't have to open up. It is your choice only. It also depends greatly on how your connection to the therapist is. For example, in my last session I opened up about a topic which was concerning me for long time. The sessions before I felt it wasn't the right time to introduce that topic, and then it came up organically. The timing felt right and I felt welcome & accepted. And it was still hard to talk about it. Some things can only be talked about after a certain time. Like making a soup, some spices are put inside only after certain times, and so it is the same for therapy. Wishing you well Preety.

Your body is so wise. It's telling you with the headaches to let go of what doesn't feel good right now. Of course believing what you wrote in the OP stresses the system to overthink and panic about this. Let go. Rest now. Ground yourself. Let go of this topic and immerse yourself in the reality. Feel into your body. Let go of any attached interpretation of reality. Notice every thought that doesn't feel good and direct your mind towards that what you find good. Thank you! I feel like watching these videos without being able to control one's mind is like tripping without being able to meditatively direct one's thoughts.

Today's synchronicity In the chapter Resistance To Grave of The Road Less Traveled, the author writes: I felt that. For at least 2 years I felt Grace calling and resisted it. For the past month I'm recognizing that I got to prepare my stuff to move in the direction of the calling. Which leads me to death. Cause I go towards fear and die in the process. Again and again, like a death meditation. Die again. Come back to death and trust that God catches you. Only You remain after death. And after death, die again. The identity has to die in every moment. Any fear of reality is dispelled and a new identity uncovered. I resist my heart's desire cause I will die. I resist death. And I want to be free, liberated. Which will be my demise and highest joy. Just let go my child. Rest now. And flow.

This guy youtube.com/c/ShotsOfAwe makes videos where he philosophizes about the universe and the human condition. And they also are filled with visuals made by generative AI. This combination is fascinating. Get a taste

Lol, I thought it is just western propaganda similar to Russian media claiming that Ukrainians are all Nazis. Edit: Okay, still not confirmed.

https://bebereviews.com/pua-dictionary/

@StarStruck IME, talking to peeps becomes easier when I'm in my body - grounded, centered, self-secure. Eat some raw ceremonial cacao. It's just showing you what's possible and where to go. And don't rely on it.

@Leo Gura Ask your lawyer. If it's a green light, then we can test things. There is always the option to shut things down.

Providing the quote in case somebody isn't able to access the site.

There was just recently a mail that the site was taken over and the attacker replaced its crypto address with his own. Lizard Labs, the supplier of the site, urged people not to not make an order. It's even deleted from their retailer list lizardlabs.eu/retailers. ... Yeah, I looked it up right now. On May 12th they sent out a mail that the site was compromised. Any order before May 7th was shipped.

Self-acceptance (SA) comes from within. So, daily practice of meditation and a SA exercise of your choice is good. Experiment with the possible exercises and look which one is good for you. Even better if you do the SA exercise during the whole day like some people do with breath meditation.

Back in October I was at an ISTA training. In the pod meeting (small sharing circle of 5) we talked about things that came up for us since the day before or things which are present with us right now. It was always a good time for deep talk, to enjoy and listen to the people in my pod and to recognize them as they are, without filters. I have this one moment right before my eyes. The man besides me shared something of emotional nature. I felt so touched and felt him as he was at that moment. There was intense beauty in truly seeing him beyond any conception of relative stuff. It was a recognition of him; how he revealed himself as a person with his already perfect personality and inherent humanity. Being able to witness his raw human being and feeling it so deeply is something that I will hold with myself for a long time. In a group coaching call almost 3 weeks ago one participant shared his triggers which happened during the week and how he was dealing with them. He told us how he was thinking that the triggers came from his past. While explaining his trigger and us now knowing his past, he said, "Everybody who loved me abandoned me." He fucking broke down when he said it, and we all cried or were an emotional mess too. God, the pain in believing that from all these experiences. The innocence of believing himself to be wrong and this being the reason why everybody left him. The beauty in the pain feels so good... No, the pain itself is already good to feel. And there is beauty in feeling the shared pain. These are the times I'm so grateful to experience the depth of this human experience.

Hehe, they won't hear a thing When you do it right, it will be half as loud as speaking. Anger is useful to enforce and keep people in check who overstep your boundaries. When you don't feel and express it, it comes up later in more toxic forms, as you already see. That's like not loving those of your children which are ugly. They also deserve your love. Give them love, be present and care for their needs as long as they are present. Actually, they have great wisdom and know of places with big treasures. Follow them and you will strike gold. Feel your anger fully till you feel complete. That's already courageous.

This definitely the case for me too. For me it stems from childhood & teenage years. Older brothers & classmates 'n stuff. When you feel yourself being triggered, go out of the situation and make a hand scream in order to feel your anger. There are lots of tools for this, but I found the hand scream to be effective, because I can use it quickly no matter where I am.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLKmB51wF7NlDZgRnxUlt7BF60VQtciuH Hey Tobias, these emotional release tools are good to do before you want to communicate anything concerning boundaries and the like. In my experience, pillow bashing, hand & pillow scream help alot with anger. Controlling and repressing anger eats you from the inside. You already feel that. So, whenever you are in your mind raging against & hating her, do the emotional release till you feel complete. To do the work, I'd suggest you do it at least for 10 minutes in the morning. And whenever you feel anger arising during the day, do the hand scream for a second or for as long you need to. It's maybe also good to inform your gf that you try that out, so she understands what you do, when you do it.

@RedLine The level of consciousness with solipsism isn't necessarily needed to realize this. Lay down. Start from the beginning of "Black In White" and do shamanic breathing: Breathe into your belly (and chest) and on the out breath release & let go of any tension. Breathe fast, and breathe in sync to the beat. Breathe out on the big gong at 34:57. Then become still and listen.

Get out of hiding. Express your needs.