Loving Radiance

IME, part of it is looking at oneself as if one is alien. But it's not the predominant focus. Alright, enough side-tangent.

@Tyler Robinson Depersonalization-Derealization is common. It's part of dissociation. What Leo describes here is part of drug-induced dissociation. Dissociation is not bad per se. It's just a tool of the mind. Dissociation happens with many psychedelics and is part of the experience. I first glorified it as being spiritually open. Open and mentally flexible (out of the box thinking), yes. Functional living and spiritual connection & insight, no. Now I notice that writing about it does make me feel unstable and unwell. I am moving on from the topic of mental illness.

For now, it seems to be the same as my depersonalization episodes. But with "fun" so to say. @Carl-Richard Can you help me with this? I remember that you had DPDR too. Did you experience the alien perception of depersonalization?

What is the difference between this sense of seeing oneself as alien and depersonalization?

So, Connor Murphy was right all along?

Is the purpose of a demonstration to create inspiration in people for them to get curious to explore this state of consciousness for themselves and discovering the godly power of this inner monologue? Or is it just for basking in your own Playfulness/Radiance/Love?

@Loba Thank you for your opinion on this?

Using a negative motivation like shame to promote wanted behavior is not something I would do because it creates inner separation and pushes the unwanted part of the personality into the shadow, from which it festers in unhealthy dynamics. Usually many years and decades later it needs to be cleaned up with a strong commitment to healing. Social morals are entirely possible without negative motivation. One can create their own lifestyle from their values, and this lifestyle choice can happen to be culturally accepted.

Interesting train of thought. Something related that came up for me: cause and effect seem to be concepts which are so ingrained in the human psyche because it's the mechanism keeping us functional and surviving.

@Tyler Robinson I wanted to show you that there is more to this than thinking about dumping or saving your bf. But I notice now that it may be not the right place and time for this digression into communication. I'm sorry. I hope the best for you, whatever outcome it might be. ? @thepixelmonk I'm not here to make it personal or to start drama & fights. The only thing I say about what you wrote is that I don't make it a one-dimensional cause, that of simply being a communication fault and searching for ways to put blame & responsibility on Tyler.

@Tyler Robinson Do you understand or can you imagine the psychological dynamics of chill volcano types? Why they are wired like this?

@Tyler Robinson Something to think about: Do you want to be with chill people who explode from time to time? How can you proactively adjust your communication to clear the space with those people (not only your bf)?

Thank you ?

It starts with small things. I imagine there were already signs of his insecurity before this, but not so much noticeable. If he is not conscious and aware of the insecurity (highly likely), then he won't do personal development and investigate and work on it. So, it will only continue, see the quote of "integral" down here. I'm very skeptical of this action having satisfied his insecurity. Insecurity needs a lot of proactive work. I sincerely hope that it is a one-time occurrence because a "friend" of him suggested it and he was persuaded to try. Thank you ?

@LSD-Rumi Good suggestion No, I rather thought of criminalizing drugs.

@Alexop To avoid this I block the recommendation feed with the extension DF YouTube. Also easy to disable it when I want to look for similar videos.

This is a warning sign for how he will be later on in the relationship. You two can work on this, and his motivated participation is all it needs. If he doesn't see this, then you can move on from him. You can't change him alone, he has to want it too.

Beautiful. Thank you.

@Vladimir Thank you so much! Love your response. Consider that (gradual) falling away of the individual identification can be said to be death. This de-identification can be lived, watched, allowed. Question: How has your perception of "I" changed (before and after the 18 months)?

@Vladimir ?

Hello there! I'm curious, what comes up in you when you read these words?

@Tahuti I'm sorry, did you want to quote someone else?

This makes me think about what other sensible things we criminalize which are in reality just no big deal.

@UpperMaster In the past I used to block all sites whose URLs contained porn keywords (even "xx"). But I don't do that anymore because the blocker software doesn't solve the underlying root cause. Yes, it's fast-acting and direct, but it's not doing the hard rewiring that is needed - you have to do it yourself and work on that daily. My suggestion is to use blocker software like "cold turkey blocker" for times when your focus is needed elsewhere. When you are relatively free, go disable it and let go of your craving only once per day (see power of letting go) and increase it incrementally over time. Or replace the routine for that cue (e.g. the cue can be the impulse to let go of or avoid feeling the sexual energy) with something healthy, like making a short work out or doing Pranayama. In my experience, cultivating that sexual energy through semen retention is bound to fail when I don't circulate that energy. Doing Pranayama breathing for sexual energy is great. When the energy remains stagnant and isn't moved around and channeled in physical activities, it then triggers old impulses... there's another option, which is to remain still and unmoved by that impulsive energy. Also notice how your mind is geared towards imagination whenever you engage with sexual energy. For me, I notice how I feed a part in me that lives on imagination & being a watcher of sexual activity. I don't have guidance for you on this, I just simply made it a meditation to focus on and do something else whenever the urge came up to go into my imagination.

@Topspin715 I use http://youtubetranscript.com/ It's also good to watch the videos along with this tool because it lets you track easily the exact sections where Leo said something just by clicking on the lines. There are also the transcripts of the first 100 or so videos on his website: actualized.org/articles Just choose a category and go to the older videos. They have transcripts.