Loving Radiance

@Conscious life Do you have a bad internet connection or what is the reason?

@Conscious life The thing with the blog videos is that they cannot be downloaded. I had a skim over the code and even there is nothing to find.

@Anton Rogachevski That's why I will do notes on this one and upload it on the summaries thread.

@Leo Gura Looking back on your blog videos, why didn't you upload a Requisite Variety & Creative Laziness video to YT? Why didn't the topic qualify to be on YT?

@BlackMaze In my last shamanic retreat the facilitator showed me a way to express my repressed anger. Get a non-slip mat and a thick cushion (like a meditation cushion). Knee on the mat and have the cushion in front of you. Bring your hands together and make one fist by interlacing the fingers. Punch the cushion as fast as possible while putting force behind it. Bring your hands at least at head level if not higher when you go back up. Balance the force and speed behind your punches - there can be hurt while punching, but after the release your arms shouldn't hurt for more than a minute.

@Snader Good one!

@Saupahar Contextwise: Are you saying that your mother did not want to go to work?

"Direct" experience of death: Thought being believed vs. existential beauty recognized My grandma died the last summer. I think a week before that she was already brought to the palliative care unit of the hospital. During her last few days, she was on painkillers and unconscious. We were with her for almost an hour, watching her take one arduous breath after another until the end. The window was opened. The birds sang outside and the sun was shining. The clouds were white and fluffy. What a beautiful day. Coming back into the room the thought was evident. My grandma was dying. We all are grieving. What a beautiful day it is outside - birds singing, sun shining, people enjoying life. There is the insight: A death makes no difference and the earth doesn't stop rotating per se, but the earth stops, if you want to make it to be a difference, if you want to make it to be significant to you. Attaching to the idea "My granny is dead" the people seem ignorant to just live and go on with their life. Letting go of the idea & recognizing reality, this is just as beautiful as always. Outstandingly beautiful while there is nothing to stand out from. After that I went eating lunch with my dad. It was interesting to observe attaching to the idea (her death and me being her grandson) caused suffering. Detaching from the idea, accepting that this is life and tuning into this moment filled me with joy. The difference could not be more visible. I am not sure how much my detachment from her months before her death played into my brief grieving process. Before Lockdown, we would go to her favorite cafe for lunch almost every weekend. 2 years before that I made the decision to go out with her and to give her my presence because I felt her time was coming to an end. I enjoyed the time with her.

@abrakamowse There is a limit of 4.88mb for an individual file (independent of one's free space).

Now I can understand how intelligence, being, goodness and God knows what else is not coming from me. Thanks for clearing that up.

Does it follow then that there is no racism?

@aurum @TheAlchemist

Hey, I'm not gonna address that enlightenment stuff. Just a suggestion from me if you want: What I found feeling & being good on my journey of OCD & being socially retarded is to join these hippy SD Green workshops. Maybe you already discovered them. I just feel good to rest and let go of anything that I think about myself during these workshops & retreats as they challenge me to extend myself. There is a loving atmosphere, and trauma is often getting met from a shamanic perspective. The people understand & accept you. I found this group community feeling to be very healing to me. Maybe this is also something that rings true to you. Wishing you well ?

@Carl-Richard Indeed weird flex ? ?

It feels uncomfortable exposing the imaginary illusory identity of LR like in "The Emperor's New Clothes". Nevertheless, it feels good to let this out of the system. Feeling > Knowing I asked one facilitator at a tantric event for how long he now knows a participant who supports the facilitator team. The context was that I was confronted with my repressed desire, the desire for her. I assumed the two knew each other before because he behaved like she was a friend of his. "How long do you know her?" "I don't know her, but I feel her."

YES. This is exacly what Green retreats and workshops tought me. It is a continuous coming back to speak from the heart when you always have used your mind. At times I feel like a baby doing its first steps in this realm. Easy to brake things in this environment if you are heavy on intellect. I am so grateful for the compassionate and patient guidance - I mean, the facilitators rewatch the same pattern of taking first steps over and over in different people.

@Husseinisdoingfine "Most of them" You of course are special. You know how to tie your shoelaces

@mandyjw "no one" Ok let's not derail this thread further

@Nahm I looked at the waves ?

Like 'past lifes' and 'telepathy'?

How is the water shaped? I am open yet hesitant to shaping water. Do you feel a difference between filtered & shaped water and filtered water without shaping?

@StarStruck Do you really want to let go of loops? --> Can I easily let go in meditation? If that is the case, I can start with small dosages and let go of anything coming up that isn't "fun" anymore to entertain. I increase the dosages over time like I would hold my breath a bit longer every time I go diving. Or maybe surrender is a better word (connected to emotions): I surrender to this moment & to anything in my experience. Anything happening right now is good and I accept that I may can't see goodness right now. In fact I enjoy having the opportunity to experience this. I surrender to not know what the fuck is happening right know. I surrender to all thoughts that might come into awareness. I surrender to anything they might tell about me. I surrender to just rest here, to let this experience wash over me, leaving awareness unchanged. In fact I surrender to this experience potentionally leaving me changed forever. It is so true. And it hurts. What a relief.

You are worthy and unconditionally loved no matter what you or other people think about yourself. You are free to do whatever you want. What do you want child?

@StarStruck I not yet have done LSD. That being said, I don't understand how you can get "stuck" in such loop. I mean, if you feel uncomfortable on the ride, just "jump off" and let go. How is a thought loop different from a thought that can be let go of?

@acidgoofy Nah. I just get immersed by the moving stuff, it feel like the closed eye visuals of psilocybin.