Loving Radiance

At least green

You already asked him to let you be, right? And he sees that you won't change your mind?

Then talk about topics that bring you together like spirituality. Whenever they talk about the dark forces and elites in the world you can replace that with unconsciousness and selfishness. IME, there is no reasoning possible (although I like to question my friends) because there is a whole worldview attached. Which is also right in some ways. I tend to agree & disagree or agree & add on. However, as Leo's newest video showed: don't be that attached to external things and have the ability to leave if necessary.

@Vision The mind is a tricky thing. The way you describe him I would say that he cannot reasoned with on this matter. Even if you ask him what evidence he would need to see from you to change his mind (for the efficacy of non-conventional medicine and non-western diet), he can just deny its validity based on anything that strikes him as oddly shaped in the evidence. This way you could present innumerous cases and he could deflect any of them. It is attacking his way of life. It is an attack on his identity just to think that there is something else. However, you can of course search for evidence that makes him question his "epistemics". Are you financially dependent on him for treatment etc.? If yes, then move in the direction of becoming financially independent from him. If his presence and need to convert/challenge you makes it unbearable, then move out.

Is there a website or another resource I can read for more on this?

@billiesimon The same with me on psilcybin. But when the mind came back there was just love for being in form. I can confirm that the mind feels completely gone. For the technical side with plugging, how much cm or inches do you go in with the syringe? Till now all my attempts have failed (or the doses were too small).

@mandyjw Thanks ?

@mandyjw Beliefs, thoughts, justifications you picked up in growing up that keep you in homeostasis.

@mandyjw Btw, how do you go about arising conditioning when you go after what your desire?

Watch this

Interesting, I can agree with that. I saw God and I didn't identify with God. It still was insanity.

How do you go about consciously addressing repressed emotions & feeling through shamanic breathing? @Bittu @GreenWoods @Muhammad Jawad

Why feel bad about something that is your unique limit? Just imagine where daily shamanic breathing & meditation will bring you. As Aaron said, people live their life without psychedelics. There are powerful spiritual techniques and schools out there. Heck, just read what people write on the Kriya yoga mega thread here on the forum. The book to practice with is Kriya Secrets Revealed: Complete Lessons and Techniques by J.C. Stevens.

How do you go about this? Do you just write down intentions, or do you do something else?

@Forestluv Yesterday I couldn't look up this journal (was an error of some sorts) and I thought you had it hidden. I assumed mods & Leo help each other when feeling blindspots in one another. Yes, here on the forum it is predominantly done out of winning a discussion and putting oneself on a pedestal, but I felt that you as mods are committed to mutual growth no matter the hierarchy. But I get the "never outshine your master" dynamic.

Btw, thank you for reminding the suicide thread that his family is reading this and also later in the feedback thread for holding Leo to a standard. I couldn't agree more. The more I learn about communication, intuition and relating the more I realize that I am still a child in that area. And it feels good to explore that more deeply. Was your voice shunned? I haven't read from anybody saying something like that about your post of holding Leo to a higher standard.

There are add-ons for this. I can recommend "Dark Reader".

On that retreat as I faced my repressed desire and fell back into habits the facilitator also said that I gotta let go of the role I play. One minute in that video and I thought of him

105. + 271. How To Be A Man Part 1 – The Deep Core Of Being Masculine 100% authentic Open about problems & insecurities instead of hiding them Being okay with offending someone by not being overly polite Self-expression & putting masculinity into the world Emotional stability (being grounded) Stable values & principles and living by them (integrity) Non-reactivity, decisiveness and being secure in oneself by having a strong sense of identity (being mature & confident) Being happy by oneself No need for external approval; creating value for oneself Values friends & girlfriends and being not dependent on them Embodying own sexuality Normal & healthy part of life No shame or contraction/insecurity but self-love Openness about expressing one’s sexuality (expressing it for oneself) Giving one’s drive, essence, sexuality to the world (creating & giving your life-purpose to the world) Practices Have lots of sex with lots of girls (having a wide range of experience) Strong career & sense of purpose Going out of comfort zone (into grow zone; having wide range of experiences) Part 2 – Advanced Version Integrate your feminine Wanting to be the macho alpha man is not being the macho alpha man – being a man is rather being true to oneself which includes embracing one’s feminine side (can deviate from the culture image of being a man) Deconstructing the alpha “male” stereotype Image: deep voice, big dick, filled with testosterone, extroverted, charismatic, big, tall, muscular, no emotions, assertive, charming, well dressed, liked by everybody, playboy who has swarms of girls around That is a cultural norm and is not realistic Being oneself and not selling out to other people’s opinions is masculine That includes having emotions Judging oneself for not being an image of “masculinity” is insecure Owning one’s emotions is secure Let people love, hate or be indifferent to you Question cultural norms Turn around & face the fear of being in touch with your feminine Admit, own, embrace and accentuate your feminine qualities Courage is required for being this authentic It’s transcending the poles masculine & feminine and being whole Counterintuitive technique: Accentuate your feminine qualities (emotionally difficult) Be more emotional, be it the good and bad ones Be nice, caring and compassionate Be cute and like a little kid Cry Be nerdy Be romantic Express your feminine side in front of women Do feminine activities Be creative Be artistic Be soft Be loyal Speak with passion & emotion instead of indifference Say what you want to say including the weak, pathetic and unattractive things Have sex the way you want to Love the way you want to Fall in love Being emotional in front of people and staying secure & comfortable in oneself (without shame or embarrassment) Experiment with being hyperfeminine to see where your authenticity lies Not every woman has to like you being authentic – rejection still happens There are still preferences on personality Dating advice Neediness repulses women Neediness comes from an inauthenticity (which is different for every needy man) Short-term solution for neediness: Owning one’s neediness with the woman (which risks her leaving or losing attraction) Have a relationship with a woman, act needy, break apart and feel how neediness drove her away Hiding one’s neediness lets one act like a little boy Hiding it manifests it in other ways that make you needy Try out faking it till you make it Work towards authenticity Being a man is doing whatever you want, regardless if it is manly or girly Bring you being the man (confident authenticity) in every area of life

It was a masculine awakening. Nothing spitting itself out to itself. From the human perspective it felt life a manic artist just pumping out creation after creation till eternity.

Life is to be experienced & ego-backlash I was 13 or 14 years old. I was sitting on a lounger in my grandparent's garden, reading in the sun, having a cat besides me. I felt that the world was perfect and I was at peace. In this moment I could have died and I would have gladly said farewell to life. Even though I judged my life to not be perfect I still felt that it would be just good, if I died in that moment. I thought about life and the experience. Living just once. Experiencing life and dying at the end and it just being for nothing. So, what is life for? What does it offer? Well, life offers a wide range of experience. If you are here once, you can experience all of life. Why else should you be here? It's experiencing life without making it toxic, of course. Today I recognitized that me claiming to be a person that wants to experience life to the fullest makes me suffer. Every time I judge myself not to experience life I make a shadow out of me. Presence is experiencing life. Even when not present, there is an observer always observing. However, there is a resonance in expanding oneself & in realizing one's angelic radiant love. A while back during shamanic breathing there was a vision coming to me. There was a love-sun and I wanted to be that sun. Just being on fire & radiating love. I wanted to be another person. The Infinity-insanity trip showed no person. I rewatched it. I couldn't contain this Love.

I went to a friend (she was also in March 10th & April 13th) who was sitting at a volleyball field while some of my fellow students played there. She asked a question and simultaneously some of them players came towards us (either for the ball or for a pause, idk anymore). There was no uncomfortability or panic in seeing the story just being played (having no control is accepted). The world just happened on its own. It was known that there was an absence of a story that made sense of the happening (knowing of absence of knowing) and it was still just happening. It felt like looking at art movement on a screen and not making sense of the colorful shadowy movement. All perception was clear as always, but the sensemaking was gone (while it was known that there is the possibility of sensemaking). I then proceeded to chat with her. At the supermarket I went through the fruits & vegetables area or looked at it from the checkout line. No story as well.

Imagine basing your reality on that ideology he created. It is apparent that he thinks in duality and relative answers don't compute for him.

You can rewire yourself to recognize beauty in every form. It is an additional lens in the toolbox of recognizing the world, and this lens is distinct from the human-beauty lens. You could say it has a different flavor than human-beauty.

Do you mean making a story that resists feeling?