Loving Radiance

Recognizing and seeing reality During sex there was a flashback to the God trip. It was a clear energetic shift: a recognition that consciousness is manifesting in ape-like bodies called humans. A recognition what this form is with its limitations, that whatever would happen to the body, reality would continue as always. In the past few days there were increasingly frequent felt recognitions of this world being out of this world, being alien and that the consciousness projecting the world is alien and not human at all. Feels a bit insane. "[The ego] says 'What are you doing loosing yourself?'" - Osho And still, it is used to divert focus - distraction.

Lol, inform yourself about impotence. Don't wait on us to inform you. For myself I don't see a way why impotence could be caused. It's als possible thats it's fearmongering having been done without investigation. Please investigate that for yourself. Don't hold yourself back doing research about that because I am confident that it's speculation.

I think you can get into jail for attempting this. In the moment you sit down for nightly meditation the police will knock down your appartment door and rush in wildly shouting at you. Don't worry, I as your lawyer have a "get out of jail free card" just for you. Oh, as I see you already have the common sense that this is something illegal and needs treatment. Don't worry, just make the call. @Rigel already knows this best and got the good treatment because he called in that time frame. They won't be that harsh with you when you do that.

You can add "93." in the beginning. Good work @FlyingLotus Good work you are doing here.

@Shiva99 Good work! Being radically honest with yourself is a great start for transformation. I'd suggest to get with someone who specializes in repressed desire. Someone understanding the subconscious mind and identity and how to work on that.

Have you verified it for yourself? @asifarahim No. You usually feel when you are ready. As the others already said, many psychonauts lived a long life without any apparent destruction. What can confuse your system is when you take them too often and don't let yourself have time to integrate.

Alternative title: Problem in conversations in creating a space for the person to express themselves rather than listening. I found out that I have sometimes trouble listening to people. I want to be truly open for them, but then I don't construct a story/world of them being in there. By being open for them the things to respond to arise like waves from the ocean, and that might take some time or doesn't at all. If their story would lay in front of me, then I could sit with it and jump back and forth to understand it. However, opening that space of hearing them without a me that constructs a story is like not writing things down. I feel that in constructing a story I don't really listen to them, like my bias of perspective is obscuring their story. Maybe there is a difference. Maybe there is a preference for hearing and not listening. How do you find balance or approach this in general?

@bejapuskas Interesting indeed

@Amilaer--- Oh thanks

@Matt23 Thank you for your perspective What you describe is exacly what I meant with constructing a story. It's really feeling how that is for them by constructing the story they are telling and placing myself in their shoes. @Nahm The answer you propose is what I mean by creating space for them. There is listening to the silence, and there might arise a wave from that ocean or not. What you suggest in the short term is what I described as creating a story. I feel that I am truly not veiling their story when I listen to the silence and might pick up a response. I like to see them how they are in their story and at the same time give responses the same as when I create a story.

I find myself constructing a story doing that on autopilot. When going silent internally without making a story there is just stontaneous arising of responses which can surface after some time or don't surface at all. What creates suffering is me wanting to respond while at the same time I don't want to obscure the picture of their story and there might be no response at all. This is already the case. However, it happens very often that no responses come at all and I feel that this is like stopping to dance with them in the conversations. I want to dance while seeing them for what they are. Or is that a contradiction? Idk.

@Nahm

Blue moving into orange Take-home message: All people discovering themselves and their true colors = Discovering what drives you in life, discovering something in yourself that shines so brilliant that it frightens you because you are not familiar with it (e.g. [partial] ego death), discovering what you got to integrate, what God tells you to be

@Forestluv @Emerald

Common themes: meeting people unexpectedly speaking with people being in thought and then collapse of that construct

@Kalki Avatar Very well said ?

@amps Option 3 and then option 2 with the pick-up methods that are authentic to you IMO. Why do you fear loosing her when you are feeling the most authentic and free since... idk, ever? Basically you discovered that: Don't be afraid of growing up. Have courage and be ready to die by potentially loosing her. What you realized in your trips is that you want to meet a whole woman as a whole man. Don't be afraid of becoming whole again. Focus on what makes you a man. Be self-secure and grounded in that. Nobody - even your gf - can shake you in that. Look here for notes:

The field of potential is already created. The devil allows your existence as Thought Art.

ffs

To do: On language & time and how we see/construct the world On language On time understanding it as a human it being a construct Arrival Love (holy shit, I might loose it rn) On suffering, insight and wisdom to suffer in order to learn & have insight Continuation of "On thought, being, love, separation, collapsing materialistic worldview" Deconstructing the materialistic worldview (quotes from that post) Spira: Is there an outside world? (incert video) "You cannot die. What dies is untrue. You are eternal." sth like "On true human relating and communicating" deep green & yellow and perhaps turq radical honesty & authentic relating true listening and letting go of oneself own bias (bc experiences & lens) & projections giving space for someone to explore themselves

@Carl-Richard Your timestamps are weird. The vid is not that long.

A friend of mine just rang the bell and confessed her feelings for me. Just before that I knew that there was someone standing just in front of the apartment door and not ringing the bell from the main door to the building. I opened and she stood there. There was no LR. There was just this moment happening. Heart rate was registered. There was a knowing that holding the door in one hand would seem not embracing or inviting. There was letting go of the door. She talked about something and there was a knowing what she talked about without interpreting her words. It was a knowing. No one listened to what she said. All what she could have said was already felt. There was a knowing that all that happened would be good because it would be happening.

Beautiful picture. I thought of making notes on the movie and sharing it here.

If you are young, be ready to have side effects for 48h after the shot. Be prepared to be sick the next day. For me it was nausea and headache, and on the next day light & constant (and thus exhausting) muscle and joint pain. The day after the shot I could just lay on the couch and do nothing. Teached me alot about caring for the health of your body. Your quality of life is surprisingly reduced because of the pain. Only cold showers helped with the pain. You can use the day after to meditate because any intellectual or manual work is hardly possible. However, I also spoke with a fellow student of mine. He had just some pain in the arm and that was it.