Loving Radiance

Towards the end he got nice yellow insights when he reflects on Jimmy. Great conversation, thanks for sharing.

In the past weeks there were many instances of the body just acting. Too many to write them all here. August 26th: At a cacao, cuddle and dance evening facilitated by friends there were so many moments of witnessing not knowing. It was the best evening I can remember and yet in the end when I feel into my bed I had the visceral feeling of immediate death and end of experience. There are still slight flashbacks from that. Anyhow, there were situations of not knowing what to do in situations. In the past there would be insecure feelings (thoughts about identity) coming up. However with the cacao there was a letting go and letting the body act. There was still identity present and yet the experience was of acting on autopilot without control nor attaching to a want and forcing to manifest that want. August 28th: I am on my way home with a girl from a Green temple like happening (cacao ceremony with emotional expression & integration with option for sexual encounters). We are drawn to each other. There is just acting out without thoughts about self-image. It seems as if we are lovingly sitting besides each other & caressing each other. It's. So. Not. Personal. Nothing is personal. Then the control comes back when we come out the public transport to the street. Today I came to say farewell to an exchange student who travels back to France. I went to her not having prepared anything to say. Opening the door to the corridor and seeing all the stuff laying around was already semi not knowing. It was surprising to see all the stuff although it now makes sense. She appeared in a second and the body acted automatically. There was no thoughts about what to say next nor was there any insecurity. There was a recognition that this was happening on its own. Semi not knowing. There was a decision and believing thoughts about authentic communication. All that what happened didn't really come from control. There was somewhat control and still, somewhat of a self-image to hold up. She said, "I wish you a happy life." There was no mind to understand the extend of that and yet the response was to wish the same (semi control). Now imagining the situation to go in another way, it could have been more mental/intellectual for more control on my side to relate to her more. Imagining her to feel more connected and finished with this stage of life if I'd been more controlling & on the mental side. It's good.

I read the quote a few minutes ago and it reminded me of this thread. What comes up in you when you read that @Charlotte? https://thepowermoves.com/personal-power-tony-robbins/

This podcast is from ISTA and has many facilitators as guests. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/spiritual-sexual-shamanic-podcast/id1531273710 @blackchair Embodiment is super important in sacred sexuality. You can have the greatest intellect but be not imbodied. You can already practice sensing energy/vibe/atmosphere of people & groups and you can also already practice being connected & active with intuition.

Upholding identity

Sometimes there is an energetic shift in perception and it is recognized that all these human states of being that are pointed to with words like love or music are alien. Out of this world stuff. ? You'd imagine it is somewhere out there, but it's here.

Fucking awesome & inspiring. Thanks for the share. @Nos7algiK

@lardplanet @Sucuk Ekmek I feel that this kind of mentality is not good for your growth. Already to be expected from the first post. Interesting how apparent it is.

@-Rowan I feel that this question is very specific. I imagine it not getting a proper response here on the forum. Perhaps if no other here comments on that, you can ask on facebook or kriya and sadghuru forums (if there are these forums out there). Perhaps in real life inform yourself in practice institutions and practive groups related to that. Good luck. God bless.

@BipolarGrowth Feels manic. You maniac, love ya. It is imagined that what is communicated is disregarding survival. You are insane in letting go survival. Though, there's the possibility of pretending to be insane and live radiantly with no survival when in fact it is still fooling yourself to be alive and be some-body. @Nahm ?

Authenticity kills the identity or rather exposes its non-substance. I pretends to be authentic and fools/forgets itself so that I continues living. It is however still dead.

I don't have experience. You said you have "PTSD and chronic wanting to die cause my head has a headache from self hatred and judgment conditioning and ocd". It reminded me of a friend who remembered childhood trauma with iboga. I heard of ibogaine treatment clinics and that sounds to me to be a proper medical setting where you can be under expert supervision.

@EntheogenTruthSeeker Do you have experience with ibogaine/iboga?

Which ones do you mean?

I still don't get how it is misleading. 160 / 575,746 = 0.028% COVID deaths (total) despite being fully vaccinated (Total deaths in the United States: 575,746 --> https://www.everydayhealth.com/coronavirus/coronavirus-alert/2021april30/) [Edit: It doesn't make sense to compare total death despite being vaccinated to total deaths since the start of the pandemic. My mistake] Thanks for the notice. I assumed that it all was directed towards me. Perhaps next time make a paragraph or write "directed towards the thread in general". That would cause less confusion.

Yes, fully vaccinated - it says so in the quote. It also came out in late May and it used the numbers from the end of April. Since then it is at 171 million fully vaccinated people. What do you mean? Can you be specific?

Here is what I found: https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/wr/mm7021e3.htm

@John Iverson In general, observe your dreams and try to find connections to real life. Where are feeling states the same? That's how you pick up meanings and how you learn from them. That being said, here are some points that you can also disregard if not applicable: Assume that all in your dreams is you. Children are often child aspects of you. If the main theme is you running away from a bear or something then it is you are avoiding something in your life. How people that you know from real life interact with you in your dreams is how you see the relationship with them. It becomes apparent how you want to be in that relationship during the day. You stepping into a role in a group of people is you exploring that role. Maybe explore that role too during the day if it felt inspirational & authentic. What you do with others in your dreams is often what you want to do with them during the day. Focus more on the overarching story rather than the details. How you feel in your dream is more important than what you think or what happens. It is important to see how you feel based on what you think and what you pick up from the environment. A goal can be explicitly something you want or implicitly can stand for another thing that you want. I suggest the app Lucidity for writing down your dreams. Perhaps jot down what you think the dream teaches you. Read the dreams of last night right before going to bed: go into that memory and imagine how it felt to be there. Here are some interesting threads. You can also @ the topic starters that they reply here.

There is high quality of living (including logistics). Plus, there is the famous Las Vegas Beltway which is widely known for facilitating excellent contemplation sessions while driving

Ok, I had felt some pressure in the 3rd eye but more like if I were receiving energy in it but I never felt pain. I will do a search about it and I let you know if I find something that can be of help. Again, here is sharp pain appearing in the crown chakra. Like I described it before above. Have you found anything?

There's nothing better than just trying it out because you feel what works for you and what not. Body awareness is good for that. When you are new to it you can breathe less intense, so you can start by easing into it. Search for good breathing music like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRe3GUaw1iU and take deep breaths that start in your belly and end in the very top of your lung. Fill every volume. On the out breath release any tension that was there when you took in every bit of air. Let go. Breathing out is happening automatically. Make it circular: When one complete breath ended then begin immediately with breathing into the belly. Take it slow. It is okay to feel a bit light-headed in the beginning. After time when you feel ready begin to increase the speed in taking these deep breaths. Play breathing with the rhythm of the music. Remember to take in every bit of air and then to let go of that volume when breathing out. If the rhythm is too fast for a complete breath then you can breathe in faster and cut short the out breath. IME, what happens often is cramping of the hands (tetany), exhaustion in the belly muscles from the unusually strong breathing and emotional release. Tetany can be painful, if the CO2 levels in the blood go too low, so when it appears you can slow down or stop breathing till it disappears. Exhaustion of the muscles is also treated with slowing down or stopping. Strong energetic appearances and emotional release can be witnessed and felt - breathwork usually stops automatically, but you can continue, if it feels right. You can stop at any time when it feels right for you. Trust your body that it tells you when it is enough. Btw, welcome to the forum

Is it possible that the name is something similar to "GADU"? Hehe I thought it would have been "God" Good to hear It seems that the vision is not of the ego, however you can claim the vision as your own which you could use to make a spiritual identity. Be sure to search this forum (advanced search tool https://www.actualized.org/forum/search/, be sure too search in the content tiles only as it can get overwhealming otherwise). Check out the topics and posts by SirVladimir (now deleted account) and Forestluv about it. Here's a nice thread

For me it comes during shamanic breathing when I focus on surrendering to love which is imagined to be manifesting this moment Plus there are intense shivers of healing energy when it is imagined & felt that water of a cold forest river touches me and flows from the top of my head down the spine. Pure ecstacy. Huge release. Integrate it through contemplating its impact on your life. If love would flow through your veins, how would your life be impacted? Listen to the silence that opens up when you ask yourself this question. There may or may not arise something from that depth (for me it usually does and if not, it does so at a later point). Integrate it by connecting to this feeling everyday first thing in the morning, even if it feels somewhat lesser. I mean, holy fuck there's nothing more inspirational out there isn't it?

Of course your mother doesn't want to let you have your own life. That's understandable. She got to learn that you are your own person. You love your mother right? Blood is thicker than water insofar your family supports you. If the guilting & non-support drags you down then tell her that her behavior towards you is a negative influence (be very specific what she does that is negatively influencing you) and that you will cut contact till you feel better. Cut toxic people out of your life and give feedback what specifically moves you to do that. Hope that your mother comes out and realizes that she loves you for who you are.

It begins at education. Critical thinking & self-reflective minds can determine that fox news is like fast food. It doesn't require a ban of things. When you educate kids they will easily navigate the modern world.