Loving Radiance

I don't have experience. You said you have "PTSD and chronic wanting to die cause my head has a headache from self hatred and judgment conditioning and ocd". It reminded me of a friend who remembered childhood trauma with iboga. I heard of ibogaine treatment clinics and that sounds to me to be a proper medical setting where you can be under expert supervision.

@EntheogenTruthSeeker Do you have experience with ibogaine/iboga?

Which ones do you mean?

I still don't get how it is misleading. 160 / 575,746 = 0.028% COVID deaths (total) despite being fully vaccinated (Total deaths in the United States: 575,746 --> https://www.everydayhealth.com/coronavirus/coronavirus-alert/2021april30/) [Edit: It doesn't make sense to compare total death despite being vaccinated to total deaths since the start of the pandemic. My mistake] Thanks for the notice. I assumed that it all was directed towards me. Perhaps next time make a paragraph or write "directed towards the thread in general". That would cause less confusion.

Yes, fully vaccinated - it says so in the quote. It also came out in late May and it used the numbers from the end of April. Since then it is at 171 million fully vaccinated people. What do you mean? Can you be specific?

Here is what I found: https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/wr/mm7021e3.htm

@John Iverson In general, observe your dreams and try to find connections to real life. Where are feeling states the same? That's how you pick up meanings and how you learn from them. That being said, here are some points that you can also disregard if not applicable: Assume that all in your dreams is you. Children are often child aspects of you. If the main theme is you running away from a bear or something then it is you are avoiding something in your life. How people that you know from real life interact with you in your dreams is how you see the relationship with them. It becomes apparent how you want to be in that relationship during the day. You stepping into a role in a group of people is you exploring that role. Maybe explore that role too during the day if it felt inspirational & authentic. What you do with others in your dreams is often what you want to do with them during the day. Focus more on the overarching story rather than the details. How you feel in your dream is more important than what you think or what happens. It is important to see how you feel based on what you think and what you pick up from the environment. A goal can be explicitly something you want or implicitly can stand for another thing that you want. I suggest the app Lucidity for writing down your dreams. Perhaps jot down what you think the dream teaches you. Read the dreams of last night right before going to bed: go into that memory and imagine how it felt to be there. Here are some interesting threads. You can also @ the topic starters that they reply here.

There is high quality of living (including logistics). Plus, there is the famous Las Vegas Beltway which is widely known for facilitating excellent contemplation sessions while driving

Ok, I had felt some pressure in the 3rd eye but more like if I were receiving energy in it but I never felt pain. I will do a search about it and I let you know if I find something that can be of help. Again, here is sharp pain appearing in the crown chakra. Like I described it before above. Have you found anything?

There's nothing better than just trying it out because you feel what works for you and what not. Body awareness is good for that. When you are new to it you can breathe less intense, so you can start by easing into it. Search for good breathing music like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRe3GUaw1iU and take deep breaths that start in your belly and end in the very top of your lung. Fill every volume. On the out breath release any tension that was there when you took in every bit of air. Let go. Breathing out is happening automatically. Make it circular: When one complete breath ended then begin immediately with breathing into the belly. Take it slow. It is okay to feel a bit light-headed in the beginning. After time when you feel ready begin to increase the speed in taking these deep breaths. Play breathing with the rhythm of the music. Remember to take in every bit of air and then to let go of that volume when breathing out. If the rhythm is too fast for a complete breath then you can breathe in faster and cut short the out breath. IME, what happens often is cramping of the hands (tetany), exhaustion in the belly muscles from the unusually strong breathing and emotional release. Tetany can be painful, if the CO2 levels in the blood go too low, so when it appears you can slow down or stop breathing till it disappears. Exhaustion of the muscles is also treated with slowing down or stopping. Strong energetic appearances and emotional release can be witnessed and felt - breathwork usually stops automatically, but you can continue, if it feels right. You can stop at any time when it feels right for you. Trust your body that it tells you when it is enough. Btw, welcome to the forum

Is it possible that the name is something similar to "GADU"? Hehe I thought it would have been "God" Good to hear It seems that the vision is not of the ego, however you can claim the vision as your own which you could use to make a spiritual identity. Be sure to search this forum (advanced search tool https://www.actualized.org/forum/search/, be sure too search in the content tiles only as it can get overwhealming otherwise). Check out the topics and posts by SirVladimir (now deleted account) and Forestluv about it. Here's a nice thread

For me it comes during shamanic breathing when I focus on surrendering to love which is imagined to be manifesting this moment Plus there are intense shivers of healing energy when it is imagined & felt that water of a cold forest river touches me and flows from the top of my head down the spine. Pure ecstacy. Huge release. Integrate it through contemplating its impact on your life. If love would flow through your veins, how would your life be impacted? Listen to the silence that opens up when you ask yourself this question. There may or may not arise something from that depth (for me it usually does and if not, it does so at a later point). Integrate it by connecting to this feeling everyday first thing in the morning, even if it feels somewhat lesser. I mean, holy fuck there's nothing more inspirational out there isn't it?

Of course your mother doesn't want to let you have your own life. That's understandable. She got to learn that you are your own person. You love your mother right? Blood is thicker than water insofar your family supports you. If the guilting & non-support drags you down then tell her that her behavior towards you is a negative influence (be very specific what she does that is negatively influencing you) and that you will cut contact till you feel better. Cut toxic people out of your life and give feedback what specifically moves you to do that. Hope that your mother comes out and realizes that she loves you for who you are.

It begins at education. Critical thinking & self-reflective minds can determine that fox news is like fast food. It doesn't require a ban of things. When you educate kids they will easily navigate the modern world.

No, that is a story you project on people here on the forum. Can you see that it isn't actually the case? People are just writing words onto a white page. What is written is not what's True. The idea you get from texts about enlightenment and texts & talks of enlightened folks is not True.

to an extent yes. I don't beat up on myself when I'm insecure. If I do I'm not too harsh and not for a long time. It's more like: "c'mon not again, why can't I feel more confident". I can't help desiring that insecure boy to interfere less with my life. I do like his sensitivity and appreciation of music and stuff like that, but when I'm around other people I feel like I'm going to be shamed if I don't repress myself a bit. For instance if I feel like dancing I instantly think someone is going to criticize me and I will look less masculine lol. Probably cultural conditioning and irrational beliefs around masculinity. You are masculine in just dancing for your own sake. In expressing that boy energy you recognize that you are already confident. By caring for your inner child you get drawn to being confident; there's no pretending or should-ing yourself to be confident. It happens at its own pace. When you feel in that childlike curiosity about them you can tap into the want to introduce yourself. Imagine being in kindergarten and introducing yourself to a new kid you want to play with.

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@Farnaby Can you feel, embrace and love the insecure boy?

@Strangeloop

Very beautiful. Yes, visions can occur from spiritual practices. I cannot tell you what this means. In the end it means nothing because there is no inherent meaning in all of existence. You are constructing meaning and putting it onto the world. What does it mean to you? Have you felt that you were separate from the visions? If you felt to be one with the vision, what did it reveal to you? Energy moving around in the body is happening. There are definitely processes going on in you. Perhaps have a look at kundalini energy. It can be energy shifting in your body. Perhaps it was a small heart attack In a buddhist meditation retreat the leading monk said that burning sensations are karma in the body which get released. This is a bit unclear. Something that happened to me that could come close to this was in high dose psilocybin trips. Visual and auditory representations of words were flowing into each other. They rimed like in a poem. If heard or seen from an ordinary state of consciousness, they would appear to not rime at all. Being in that expanded consciousness the sense of the rime was constructed or laid upon every word that appeared out of nothing. Does the vision happen to you or do you actively imagine these things? It is common to vision things. After the buddhist meditation retreat there was also the sensation at the 3rd eye. It is energy. If you are after going after enlightenment then embrace these energetic shifts and go on because they are not what enlightenment is. These visions just happen. You can embrace them. If you want to have more visions you can stay on your path of meditation. I suggest you to try out shamanic breathing. Maybe after the first few sessions there are visions showing up. Telepathy is not something that I ever considered, however you can see this that way. This knowing or telepathy is a feature of consciousness. Intuition can be said to be connected to telepathy.

I do think that it goes both ways though, to question and escape society at the meta-level perspective as presented in the video, should also eventually lead us to escape society at the physical level as well. It is practical as in the quote above. For myself this was an episode that gave more clarity in my LP and how I want to impact the world. In fact, the episode allowed me to envision a future which is so inspiring and at the same time so idealistic that I will most likely fail in trying even though it would take multiple lifetimes to create that vision.

Insight of the day I avoid to integrate my feminine by avoiding to feel the goodness, inspiration and love in my heart. By distracting me from feeling myself I don't feel anymore and am disconnected from the pain of separation in me. By looking away and immersing myself in stories I don't feel sadness which always seems to be there behind the veil. It is imagines that it is existential because it is always there. It is fear of being whole. Identity is attached to broken ways of being. So many times now after the 2nd insanity trip on July 3rd there are these felt perspective shifts happening. During radical honesty training at the weekend there were so many situations of seeing humanity and feeling God perspective. Alien/cosmic consciousness in human body. God spinning this reality out, like a projector spinning out the forms onto a screen. The shifts happened after thoughts about the situations in the workshop. Avoidance didn't quite stop at that time and also didn't stop now. I keep forgetting the insights. Now after the radical honesty workshop I feel more self-accepting & carefree. I love to behave a bit childish, playful, funny, like a kitten or child. I love it and I express that without resistance. I do what feels good in that moment. Doesn't matter if people see that as me being not a man. The lion comes when he comes at the right time. Till then the child can play. Still, there is discomfort in doing things that I don't see in my current identity and I feel that I get drawn to the things laying in the discomfort. Funny how counterintuitive it is: in being less resistant to be the kitten I realize that I get drawn to the lion. The kitten doesn't have to pretent to be a lion. It is just happening and it is all happens at the right time. Things are got by letting go of them and doing what's right in this moment. There is the child coming out when I say no to all shoulds and should nots. There is total freedom in living life and in expressing myself. People can judge how they want, but I am here present for myself. The seed of God is the guidance system. Intuition. Goodness. Love for the creation/child.

@Gonzalo Please create a thread under meditation (https://www.actualized.org/forum/forum/4-meditation-consciousness-enlightenment-spirituality/). This thread's purpose is to link to psychedelic trip threads you posted. If you would open your own topic, you would get more specific answers.

It seems like you haven't got the message. That's ok. Oh, you seem to get it. You can realize that everything you believed to be solid and true is a fabrication. Maybe you can still realize is that this knowledge can be felt in the body as a energetic shift. He says in the video that complete independence is not the goal.

Haha, ok. Well, Resource-based economy is a great concept. What they do seems to me like playing small which is also very likely due to the lacking resources. Oh well. Thanks for answering.