Loving Radiance

@Ash55 Are you looking for people like these? https://enneagramegypt.com/ There's also a facebook group called Spiral Dynamics Integral Live (https://www.facebook.com/groups/553824532098882) and a guy who regularly in the zoom meetings also lives in Egypt.

Of course.

A drop in a cloud. Drop merging with ocean.

Nice trip report I really like the twist of giving up and being love. I needed to hear this Do you want answers from us to these questions?

That is true AND one gotta be careful to not fuck up their mind e.g. by tripping nonstop.

You guys can play this game the whole day Props for that

Well, Leo said many times before that without alcohol we as Rilles & LR wouldn't exist. I like your attitude

@Snader

@Tim R And please close this one.

Beginning with my journey with psilocybin in late August, I became aware that ime distinctions and dualities were temporarily breaking down. For example there's the concept of the finger being separate and yet connected to the hand. There is in fact no separation - it is one. The separation is imagined. It is a concept. That realization is not understood but directly seen. I induced some of the breakdowns so far, but most happened randomly throughout the day. It feels like an intellectual electric shock, as if the sky were clear for a second. This journal is a collection of constructs which temporarily collapsed. Maybe I write what came into awareness before that.

@Tim R Please close this one.

The difference between normal and abnormal breaks down. Consciousness really is fluid. Yesterday after meditating for a bit I focused on the wall and carpet while I sat in my doctor's waiting room. So many colors appeared. Well, things as usual. But when the focus was on the carpet certain parts were moving almost like in a shroom trip. It wasn't controlled from intent, just the pure focus on it made waves come into perception. At times the whole carpet in front of me was full of slow moving waves. There were attempts to control the flow of the waves, but they moved on their own. In the past I witnessed this kind on a meditation retreat with the lawn where the grass moved wavelike in the wind. There was intense focus and the undulating movement was noticed of all the individual blades of grass appearing like sprinkling of undefined color standing out from the blank canvas of the lawn. Pointers for myself or you to deconstruct the separations: Is there really a difference between the carpet and the grass moving? Is there a difference between stillness and movement? Is there a difference between noticing waves moving on their own without controlling their movement and waves moving on their own from the wind? Is there really a cause called focus and a cause called wind? Is there really a difference between a meditative focused mind and a tripping mind? Is there a difference between experience right now and experience in memory?

@Tim R Please close this thread.

Disclaimer: this thread describes derealization-depersonalization episodes which are different from spiritual awakening This is the sibling thread to collapsing dualities. Since having tried marijuana, there were two instances of not knowing encountered. Before the instances I was alone for a few hours, but these moments are different from watching TV or playing video games alone for extended lengths of time and then going out on the street with other people around having to reorient oneself on how to act. In these moments the mind had no knowing of what that is or what to do while the body moved on its own. Like a feral kitten that is paralysed when encountering a human for the first time, but in in my experience I was internally still while not being able to make sense of the world. March 10th: Still being a bit tired I got out of the appartment complex for my morning bath at the lake and met a couple who are fellow students of mine. I walked towards them. For a fraction there was internal stillness coupled with not knowing what this situation is or means. Then there was joy to meet and to chat with them. March 15th: It is evening. I already studied since the morning at a friends place. She was away for a few hours and I was exhausted from the work. I heard voices outside the door. My friend rang the bell and opened the door. I got up to greet her knowing there were other people, but still I was mildly "shocked" to greet two other students. While stillness was felt, there was not knowing what this situation meant. After that I apologized that I am going crazy as they saw that the LR didn't act according to the usual social way of behaving. I felt responsible for the situation and I owned it. Now after rereading these instances, it is interesting to see the mind creating a story of LR having these instances and creating a story of patterns.

Topic starts at 1:17:30

@ALLIS Sorry, I meant how is it different from reiki? It seems to be the same (I acknowledge that I can be totally ignorant here).

@Michael569 That are good suggestions, thank you! @soos_mite_ah With morning routine I meant being busy for the first 1 hour with things that inspire you. Make it attractive to get out and decrease the attractiveness of reasons for staying in it. At the end of the day it's just a matter of time. If it bothers you, makes you suffer and creates frustration then at some point you will just move.

Make every breath a prayer.

Listen to your heart. You are the only authority here.

Since November now there are again the concepts collapsing. They cannot be made sense of. There's a sense of wonder and "how the fuck is that happening and even possible". It's also many times about human creation and that something even exists. Dec 3rd: Mindfucking how the sun is up longer in the summer and shorter in the winter. It doesn't make sense. Feels alien.

You wanna be productive when waking up? Have you once created a morning routine of things that inspire you like spiritual practices and journaling? If so, how did that work out for you?

Do you want to change this?

Couldn't agree more. Godspeed @Meliodas

To answer my own question, it is doing it often and always surrendering to what's alive. When I know that there are specific things in the shadow I can connect to that emotion or personality part just by reaching out. It is like meditation a continuous process which takes place over a consistent practice. I cannot understand this language although occasionally there are a few English words. Do you like to provide subtitles or anything close?