Rita

@MIA.RIVEL sounds like a perfect routine...i'll take note.

You clearly have an untreated OCD/anxiety issue.... Washing hair 3 times, etc....these are compulsions you do to relieve anxiety. I think this is less about "beauty" per sae...that's just the object of your obsession and more about getting you anxiety treated. See a shrink, talk therapy is great and they can prescribe meds.

@Zephyr i don't think low conscious behavior is a result of being feminine per sae.....it's a result of living in an environment that values their beauty/femininity so high they become spoiled and showered with gifts, etc.

as much as my marriage can suck..... it's still a marker of maturity/stability in life it's still better than the alternatives (be single, or be together and not married) IMO if done correctly, you will be stronger together than you'd be separate (whole is greater than it's parts....) here is how i look at it: i have an 50/50 equity partner in our household. and our household is an enterprise....a business. we both have good careers and our wealth grows exponentially because of the dual income. we divide and conquer according to our strengths. No matter who you shack-up with, you still have to deal with life (taxes, insurance, investments, etc). so my advice to all girls: choose who'd be the best partner to navigate a ship with. Can you divvy up tasks, communicate, and co-operate? if it sounds like it's all business....it's because it is...but that is what MARRIAGE is.

@Lynnel oh. i've tried that before and it's never worked for me.

@Ayla sounds like it was quite an intense experience for you. awesome.

@electroBeam your thinking about it too much. just post a pic if you get not responses than consider changing pic.

@Zephyr it's not limited to what you wear....but it does manifest in self-expression and how one presents themselves

imo, it's a not moot point....it can't be. we have many categories of needs; sexual, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, etc. etc. if 'Man A' cannot fulfill your emotional needs but DOES fulfill your sexual needs (i.e. makes you "o....") than I think its OK to get your emotional needs meet with 'Man B'. but if your overlapping (i.e. 'double-dipping') your needs with different men.....than, to me, it sounds kinda like your having your cake and eating it too.

@Ayla if both men were aware and cool with it.....than points to you for knowing your needs and getting them met (creatively I may add). but was only 1 of the relationships sexual? (Kinda sounds like you had a husband and a lover....) it's hard for me to believe 2 men would be 100% okay with sharing you sexually...

@electroBeam for what it's worth mentioning...i'm a girl and i think that's cool.

@Pimmsfemininity is a hard-wired set of characteristics. you're kinda born on the femininity/masculinity spectrum. so I agree with the poster who said it's about "being yourself". Yourself has it's own degree of femininity which will be most attractive on you because it is YOU. I'm 1 of 4 sisters. All of us are feminine but my mother recounts how she couldn't keep me away from dolls, glitter, princess-motif, etc....I was just born this way. My parent's are educated, uber-intellectual elitist types.....so them having a "barbie" daughter was always a point of shame in my family. Everytime I experimented with other "looks" (like I was goth for second in highschool and I was an aggressive business woman post-grad) it felt SO unnatural. I just didn't feel "pretty" and that's all I ever wanted to feel. my femininity manifests: I wear skirts and heels everyday. I don't feel myself when wearing pants (except yoga/workout) I wear makeup everyday and enjoy the process of beautification. I, naturally, have exaggerated 'femine' features: long eyelashes, bust-waist-hip ratio, cleavage, etc. Infact, ever look at Minnie Mouse, Daisy Duck or any other "female" versions of cartoon characters? That's basically how nature interprets feminine energy in human form. I have a STRONG innate sense of beauty. I know what looks beautiful in all visual arts; painting, jewelry, decorating, etc. I'm always concerned with the feelings and well-being of those around me (co-workers, family, etc). downsides of being feminine: at this point, i don't need to see a man looking at me to know I'm being checked out. I am capable of FEELING the male gaze. I feel it on me when it's happening. That's why you should always just look DOWN when your walking by so you don't accidentally make eye contact. the primary emotion you feel all-day-everyday is actually FEAR. Have you ever interpreted the internal voices that go along with the male gaze? It's basically a rambling of vulgar language that, to me, can be just grotesque and horrifying ("i wanna....", "i would do...", etc). I need to feel pretty to be myself, but it's a constant of feeling tad-less control of your own body. I'm just thankful I don't live in medieval times. feminine girls are more delicate and sensitive. emotionally and physically. it takes a lot less to hurt my feelings or cause "ouch" pain. On the upside, it takes a lot less work to please me too (O). -Rita

@Rares it was in response to a comment you made upthread: :)))))) Every boy`s dream is to be cold approached by a girl how you reply on this forum software is a tad odd to me

@Rares what does that mean? can you elaborate?

@Sarah_Flagg i like your positivity. cheers to our leo-loving-online-forum friendship!

@Avi Totally. I mean sure, he'd probably f*ck me given the chance. (And visa versa. He's a rockstar to me.) But I bring him value other than that. These things aren't mutually exclusive. We're more evolved than apes.

@Sarah_Flagg for me yes. i respond to men more than women (but I have daddy issues). i see no reason why it can't be a woman boss or just your girlfriends in general.

@Sarah_Flagg well...my vote is that you don't expect this of him. For intellectual/spiritual....why not @Leo Gura?

Hi Avi, Yes. that's basically what I'm saying. But I don't think of it as some-weirdo-morman-or-weirdo-swinger-type-thing......which is what comes to my mind by the word "polygamous"... You know who fulfills #4 (professional/career/ambition)? My boss. He's an amazing leader and I'm inspired by him. I learn from him. He's risen quickly up the corporate ladder, and as a result, so do I. But this is 100% equitable and reciprocal. I work for him. He delegates to me and I deliver (and want to!) high quality work. This is a healthy/successful working relationship between a man and woman and not anything 'polygamous'. See what I mean? -Rita

it sounds like you have a strong partnership and equitable household. that's good. that's rare. the worst thing you could do is disrupt an otherwise functional/productive household because not all your (higher) needs are being meet by ONE person. women are complex creatures and your 'extra' complex given your intelligence (evident by your pursuit of higher intellect). There is nothing wrong with looking-up to a man to care for you...that's the social contract (i'll elaborate another time)....but it's a shitty system because traditional society only allow's us 1 man. (first it's dad than it's the dude). I have 4 buckets of needs. Maybe make your own list and pencil the name of the fellow who fufills each? Mine if its helpful (and in order of basic->advanced): lifestyle/survival intellectual/spiritual sexual/emotional professional/career/ambition

i can relate. my partner has 0 interest in most of my hobbies (and visa versa). i've accepted it. i have no expectations otherwise. none of this interferes with our partnership tho....we have an incredibly strong household. from my experience it's very possible (i would even say it's ideal) to compartmentalize ones needs. for me, i separate my emotional needs from my lifestyle needs (is he a good provider? are you a strong pair socially, etc?). so....does he meet your needs outside of emotional ones?