Time is like a book, your dog dies on page 100, you ask your question on page 130.
On what page does the book itself exist? Nonsensical question, as the book is not bound by the limitations of the story contained within. You and your dog are in the book, and you will always be in the book at the same time, just not on the same page. The existence of the pages is the now, and that is why you and the dog exist NOW eventhough in the story the dog has died. 
Further than that, you ARE the book, but right now the book's story is being perceived by the charecter sausagehead that gets born at page 10 and dies at page 500. 
When you wake up, you realize your bookness and the fact that you cant die, as the real self, the book, has never even born to begin with. 

Maybe you can help me make sense of this. Was it my sympathetic nervous system system kicking into overdrive because it was frightened by ego death? 
Background: Over the past year I've experienced semi-mystical states while asleep sometime, documented here:
And I've hoped to recreate this state of "deep love vibration" and go deeper into it during conscious waking meditation activities. I went to a mantra, meditation and sound bath event, with a plethora of unique instruments and musicians leading it. I was already very relaxed before the sound bath part began, and I wanted to just let go, let go of thinking, and let it take me as deep as we could go, that was my intention at the beginning. Soon, it felt like my consciousness was expanding beyond my body, and then oscillating from side to side, and then I was flying sideways in one direction. This self like a similar sensation as I'd experienced in the hyperdreams, and started to feel more and more blissful, what little thinking was still happening was excited to consciously enter the vibration, to let myself dissolve into it. And sure enough, I turned into a whirlpool, at least that's how I'd describe it afterward. It felt really good, getting deeper and deeper. But at the same time, my heart beat shot up, pounding rapidly at a superhuman pace. I don't remember that happening in the trippy dreams I've had, but maybe I was just not aware of it. Even today it took a while for me to notice this, and by the time I did, it felt like I was going to die. To do so would have felt completely euphoric, I am sure, and if I was alone in bed while experiencing this, I may have kept letting go. But it wasn't death itself I was afraid of, but I was afraid of making a scene there, or suddenly waking up in a hospital, or scaring the other participants, musicians and teachers with my lifeless body lying there after the class. 
I listened to the video where Leo described his experience going through literal death on 2-CB, as well as other accounts of ego death where they say that in the moment is is indistinguishable from what feel like permanent physical death. I thought I could surrender to such experiences, and it was the rapid heartbeat that scared me, the way my heart was beating felt actually lethal, I was sure my body was going to die if I didn't bring my heart rate down fast. An additional factor was that today a wild fire erupted not far from where I live here in California, and while I had to go outside for a few things earlier, and on the way to the event, I was chocking on smoke and ash. Just earlier this month a man died of cardiac arrest from hosing down his house to prevent it from burning down (the irony, the house 'lived' but he didn't), and that also flashed in my mind as I was going down. So I decided to come back...
I began to breathe deeply into the diaphragm, still not fully in my body, most of me was in another dimension spinning around wildly, but still felt the heart beating out of control. While now breathing consciously, part of me still wanted to stop fighting it, go fully into the other dimension that was still gripping me, let my body do what it will, or cease completely. But I resisted this again and stayed present. The whirlpooling and heart pounding eventually gave way to a peaceful floating sensation, and then I opened my eyes, grateful to be alive, and enjoyed the rest of the sound bath breathing deeply, and present in my body.
There was a pleasant afterglow, but nothing like the deepest dream state I had where I partially dissolved into what I can only describe as a deep love vibration. Those hadn't happened in a while, maybe because I've been sleeping better, they usually occurred while I wake up early, sleep deprived, then take  a morning nap. My sensations of altered consciousness during the sound bath were definitely on the same track as during those dreams, so I wonder what went wrong, or different.
Maybe I wasn't breathing enough, one difference is that I sleep on my side, which allows deep breathing. So when on my back, maybe I forgot to breathe, or had a hard time breathing in such a stimulated state, plus the effect of the fires too.
Maybe I wasn't spiritually developed enough, and have much more ego that I could admit to myself, so when the ego starts to dissolve, and I am wide awake not tired and dreaming, I panic. Do the deepest meditators master their subconscious more before they experience ego death while in meditation posture? Do psychadelics shut off the part of the nervous system that overreacted? 
Anyways, I feel fine and have yet to see how this will change me, I sort of feel less nervous and afraid in general. I didn't think that I was nervous and fearful before, but this brink of death experience may help me let go more in everyday life, let go of things that now seem so petty, less attached to things, more calm open towards people. I'm about to a gentle breath meditation with the Apana Vayu Mudra just in case. It is said to strengthen the heart, and people have used it while actually having a heart attack, and it stopped, so certainly can't hurt to do now.

That's a classic conservative way of reasoning. From the conservative POV, people with problems are screw-ups because they didn't work hard enough, weren't disciplined enough, and therefore deserve it. Conservatives have an allergy to compassion because they build an ego out of being morally superior to poor people, drug addicts, criminals, minorities, women, disabled people, diseased people, foreigners, animals, etc.
But life has a way of knocking such people off their pedestals. JP's view of transgender people would change significantly if he had a transgender son or daughter. For example.
That's how self-bias distorts one's perception of reality.

Judgment, ego, shadow, and lack of compassion all go hand in hand.
The less developed one's sense of self is, the lower one is on the Spiral, the more one judges, the less compassion one has, the larger one's shadow is, the more one must fight, deny, project, distract, distort, demonize, crusade, and justify.
Suffering is the most direct path to compassion for others who suffer. Suffering is the ego dissolving. Suffering leads to love.
It's very simple: any teaching which teaches judgment and fear instead of love is false.
The degree to which your teacher is afraid of anything, he is corrupt.

To the contrary, the rise of Trump has pushed America and Democrats much more left.
Obama was pretty centrist and things like Medicare For All, Green New Deal, and rejection of corporate money was unthinkable 5-10 years ago.
America is steadily moving left-er. Which is precisely what Trumpism is a reaction against. The core fuel behind Trumpism is that America is moving left and they cannot stand to admit that this is the correct direction to go, so they act like stubborn jackasses. The jackassery makes them feel morally righteous and avoid admitting deep flaws in their worldview.
It all revolves around not wanting to change one's worldview due to it supporting a fictitious identity.
Never forget, in the long-run things are always getting better, moving towards more consciousness, unity, and love. The evil which sprouts up along the way is part of the ulitmate flowering of Love.

I attended an Ayahuasca ceremony last weekend, which was my second time drinking Ayahuasca tea.
It was a religious ceremony so there was some chanting and question/answers periods, but I was so totally absorbed in my trip that I wasn’t able to pay attention to any of those.
This trip was a TOTAL MIND FUCK. I was so mind-fucked I do not even know where to begin, or how to  put anything in words. I remember during the peak of the trip, I kept repeating in my head: what was seen cannot be unseen, and ignorance is bliss.
 
I had a bad trip last April during which I was sent to the hospital. In that trip, I was not sure whether I was alive or not. I felt that I was everyone and anyone at the same time. It took me months to overcome that bad trip. The reason that I am mentioning that is because as I began to feel the effect of the tea, it connected right with the last trip. The two trips merged and became one. It made so much sense how it connected and how this is the obvious path down the road. I felt stuck in this loop, the loop of trying to pursue the truth.
I was then hit with the feeling that EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE. I cannot even tell you what made sense exactly, but I just kept repeating of course, of course.. But of course… of course I drank the tea to experience this, of course I had the bad trip, of course! I understood everything, EVERYTHING. Or so it felt.
I understood what Leo has been saying all along. I understood every awakened trip reports I have read. I felt the circular nature of life. I realized that I HAVE NEVER lived. The realizing felt SO REAL, so convincing and life as I knew felt like a joke. I thought of my boyfriend and my parents and how they did not really exist. There really is only me. I saw it SO CLEAR that I can only repeat: but why, what ? Why? How? Ok but why? I wished I did not know. I wished that I did not take that tea. 
I also felt clairvoyant. I knew I wouldn’t believe what I experienced once I "come back" and I would be posting on the forum and asking questions but the answers seemed so obvious to me at the moment. And I knew there was NO WAY to explain this to anyone. That’s what I have been doing all my life, and that’s what ill keep doing, and that’s what everyone will keep doing, one way or another : pursue the truth.
 
Once I was "convinced" that It has been me all along and all will merge with truth eventually, I saw life as no point. I felt that there was no point in doing anything at all. Nothing matters in this game called life, it literally , truthfully did not matter. Theres no point in asking any questions because I have all the answers in that moment, no point in judging, no point in hating or helping. 
 
The comedown was surprisingly smooth. However, I had this intense burn/hot/warm/energetic sensation in the perineum that was slightly uncomfortable.
As expected, as the trip subsided, my life felt more real than that "experience". I only remember how convincing those realizations were, but they did not stick, and I am already doubting if that was just a dream.
 
I did not feel being one with the universe or awakened.
I think I was mindfucked more than anything.
 
My main questionning is:
how do I know if those realizations are absolute truth (as they undoubtingly were during the trip) or another belief/idea? Because it seems like they are highly influenced by what I have been fed such as "this is all imaginary" or "life is a loop" or "I never lived"..
How come they felt SO REAL , and now I can barely remember it?
 
any other pointers for me ?
 
Thank you all for your help.

Sharing this since some of you might find this long read on proper tongue posture useful.
Commonly called "mewing" (named after Dr. Mike Mew), the practice basically involves retraining your brain to have your resting position be mouth closed, teeth lightly touching, and your tongue naturally resting on the roof of your mouth.
By correcting your tongue posture, you can pull your face forward, expand your palate, stop mouth breathing (which has been linked to 'long face,' poor posture, and other negative health effects), and overall have a more healthy-looking poise.
Proper tongue posture is nothing new. It's part of a greater orthodontic strategy known as myofunctional therapy. However, it's surprising how many people don't know what proper tongue posture even is. Many seem to think that resting your tongue on the floor of your mouth is "normal," when it actually causes what's known as "long face" and a recessed profile when coupled with mouth breathing.