infinitelove

"But this makes no sense. The krabby patty is an absolute good. No body is immune to its tasty charms."

I tend to repress my masculinity. I discovered that I have this problem. I started to try to release this repression while I am meditating. It also causes a blockage to my energy, I can feel it in my throat. During tripping ،I see my masculine energy exploding Any tips?

@Preety_India wow thank you for your response. The list you gave is great, screenshoted it for sure ,thank you. I am actually working on some of the stuff you mentioned. I had a bad history of wild thoughts that destroyed my masculinity. I developed a repressing mechanism for myself which did this to me, but it is time for change. Thank you

Also I feel threatened around overmasculine dudes

@Preety_India do you mean repress? Lately I have been dealing with my social anxiety problems. But throughout out my childhood and teen years, I have not been very expressive, or courageous. I easily become shy, and I don't want to make any problems. I can't easily stand my ground. Which made me not willing to express my ideas. I repressed my sexuality in the name of religion and don't have a lot of charisma. I am not that comfortable around people and have problems in expressing myself

We need a Hitler version of leo ??. Gas chambers for devils ??

Dosage : I honestly don't know. I have tripped on acid previously and it was way more intense. I may say it is like 60 ug since I didn't see any patterns and since it was not like that one on 130 ug where I felt like real existential pressure. I am on SSRIs so this may also explain why it was weak. my acid is advertised as 200 ug but I don't believe this shit, it was way much weaker. settings and intentions : alone in my room. I was mainly on doing psychotherapy. I have social anxiety and OCD and they caused a lot of suffering to me. they inhibited every aspect of my life including spiritualist spiritual Insights : *when I was reaching the peak , I was meditating and looking inward. it was a strange feeling . I was expecting my identity to expand or dissolve because this is what I feel when I go deep with spiritual feelings but that didn't happen. what happened is I went into this very calm and peaceful moment, and then I realized that I am what have been seeking all this long. I was very surprised by this realization although I am really into non-duality and hear a lot of you are GOD. I said ahhhhhaaaa now I see it, I hid my self from my self to rediscover my self, what a joy. I started saying I am GOD in Arabic , I am Allah again and again which is something I don't really do, this was my first time. this is enlightenment , I am really god . then I contemplated how fool are blue religious people. how deluded they are, how blind they are. I also contemplated Mohammad, and How he fooled all these red people into religion while he knew the truth that he is GOD. I started to become mad about the truth that I discovered, and I felt like all my problem's were solved instantly , there was no problems any more, I was totally surrendering everything. I was making sure that I must never forget this truth, that I am GOD. I kept reassuring myself that this not acid stuff , this is real !!!! * a real insight is a change of reality and perspective that is as real as seeing your own hand !! this is the level that I must seek. * I felt like my body contained galaxies and stars and planets, * I started imaging very religious symbols form other religions like blue avatars from Hinduism and strange christian symbols. also rays that contained animals , unicorns , rainbows and they were rapidly unraveling their content which was essentially everything psychotherapuetic insights : these were even more important to me than the spiritual insights * I keep doing this, commentating negatively on my behaviors and feelings and this causes me to become anxious and depressed. this is it , this is the core of all my problems. I need to stop doing that. I felt that deeply and challenged those thoughts and let them go * I stored a lot of my negative feelings in my abdomen and head. I must start working on releasing them * I really love people. I care about them. I am not an introvert. surprisingly , I have been discovering lately that the true me is more extroverted than introverted *work slowly on your goals. step by step. not jumps and falls. * the pain you feel during your trips ( headaches and abdominal pain) is just really how you live your life daily. pain and misery * I became really conscious of how blue and underdeveloped my society is and how way more developed western societies are. I became conscious of how sexually repressed we are as Muslims which is something I didn't really see previously

Last night in my bed , I started contemplating nothingness. How am I nothingness? How is all of this nothingness? I asked . And slowly I was absorbed into this state. I started really to vanish and become nothingness!!. What!!. I was vanishing slowly and I reached the threshold where I am about to breakthrough. I was pushing and accepting but I couldn't. I couldn't take a breath. I was suffocating , at least that is how it felt. I couldn't push more. What really amazes me is that I have not done a lot of yoga or meditation. But how am I offered this chance to enlighten ??? I have been struggling with mental illnesses lately and taking medication. Is that related somehow ?

I read some of his don juan book several months ago and don juan was too indirect . He basically was bullshitting carlos which I was expecting. Is this going to be the theme of his other books. Is it a waste of time to read his books?

Cannot we get a mega thread for clips like those. It will be one of top things in this fourm if done.

Highly spiritual clip from the movie , the fountain. It super charges my motivation for the spiritual journey everytime. Note: wait for the end, it is the most amazing part.

I know there is a mega-thread for each stage of spiral dynamics, but still I think it is a good idea to have a list ,just a plain list of examples of the healthiest people of every stage on the spiral to be really able appreciate the core of each stage. thank you

I stumbled upon this mini-series by vice : people talk about night room retreats, but what about those. You don't see anything inside and you also lose sensation of your body.

I just want to make it clear. What we want here is not examples ,like videos and quotes like those found on the mega-thread. I want just a plain list of names of those individuals.

Deathstranding looks good too.

Like what? I don't think I am getting you here ?

Sometimes If I accept severe pain like somesort of sudden twitching in my leg , it turns into Love in my heart and it becomes good. It is there but it is good now ??

@Leo Gura with consequences , you mean karma? I understand the relativism of morality as doing wrong things will make me more away from the truth , love or more selfish.

Wow. HE misunderstood it entirely . But How could he? , he was so afraid and putting a lot of concentration on society, morality , religion..etc. He was too afraid of Communism and no religion. Toxic Blue goes in hand with red but they love to make justifications how they are good and fighting evil and making wise decisions.

Dar havaayat bi gharaaram __________________________________ thinking about you I am restless Bi gharaaram rooz o shab____________________________________ I am restless day and night Sar ze kooyat bar nadaaram _________________________________ I will not raise my head from your alley(1) Barnadaaram rooz o shab____________________________________ I will not raise day and night Jaane rooz o jaane shab ey jaane to___________________________ the day's life and the night's life is your life Entezaaram entezaaram rooz o shab__________________________ day and night I am waiting and waiting Zaan shabi ke vade kardi rooze vasl __________________________ since the night you promised me the night of unification (x2) Rooz o shab raa mishomaaram rooz o shab_____________________ day and night I am counting day and night, Ey mahaare aasheghaan dar daste to ________________________ oh you who controlling of lovers is in his hands (x2) Dar miyaane in ghataaram rooz o shab________________________ I am among this caravan day and night(x2) Dar havaayat bi gharaaram ___________________________________ thinking about you I am restless Bi gharaaram rooz o shab____________________________________ I am restless day and night Sar ze kooyat bar nadaaram _________________________________ I will not raise my head from your alley Barnadaaram rooz o shab____________________________________ I will not raise day and night Jaane rooz o jaane shab ey jaane to___________________________ the day's life and the night's life is your life Entezaaram entezaaram rooz o shab__________________________ day and night I am waiting and waiting Mizani to _______________________________________________ you play Mizani to zakhme o bar miravad ____________________________ you play the instrument and it goes away bar miravad___________________________________________ __ it goes away (x2) Taa be gadroon zir o zaaram _______________________________ until the sphere I am deplorable and miserable zir o zaaram rooz o shab___________________________________ until the sphere I am deplorable and miserable day and night Dar havaayat bi gharaaram ___________________________________ thinking about you I am restless Bi gharaaram rooz o shab____________________________________ I am restless day and night Sar ze kooyat bar nadaaram _________________________________ I will not raise my head from your alley Barnadaaram rooz o shab____________________________________ I will not raise day and night Jaane rooz o jaane shab ey jaane to___________________________ the day's life and the night's life is your life Entezaaram entezaaram rooz o shab__________________________ day and night I am waiting and waiting Rooz o shab raa hamcho khod majnoon konam________________ I will make day and night a lovelorn like myself Rooz o shab raa key gozaaram rooz o shab? ___________________ when do I leave day and night as day and night? Mizani to ______________________________________________ you play Mizani to zakhme o bar miravad ___________________________ you play the instrument and it goes away bar miravad___________________________________________ it goes away (x2) Taa be gadroon zir o zaaram ______________________________ until the sphere I am deplorable and miserable zir o zaaram rooz o shab__________________________________ until the sphere I am deplorable and miserable day and night Dar havaayat bi gharaaram ___________________________________ thinking about you I am restless Bi gharaaram rooz o shab____________________________________ I am restless day and night Sar ze kooyat bar nadaaram _________________________________ I will not raise my head from your alley Barnadaaram rooz o shab____________________________________ I will not raise day and night Jaane rooz o jaane shab ey jaane to___________________________ the day's life and the night's life is your life Entezaaram entezaaram rooz o shab__________________________ day and night I am waiting and waiting

@Shin @Elham watch this one you like it. Here Rumi talks about nondaulity in clear words

My artful idol appears every moment in a new guise My artful idol appears every moment in a new guise steals my heart and away he goes This friend appears at each breath in a new dress now as a frail old man and now as a robust youth steals my heart and away he goes This friend appears at each breath in a new dress now as a frail old man and now as a robust youth Now he is Noah drowning an entire age through the power of his prayer whilst himself fleeing in the ark Now he is Abraham the well-beloved rising from amidst the fire whose flames turn to flowers steals my heart and away he goes This friend appears at each breath in a new dress now as a frail old man and now as a robust youth Now he is Joseph sending his shirt from Egypt enlightening the whole world with its colours Then he appears as a brightness from the eyes of Jacob so he could see him once again My artful idol appears every moment in a new guise My artful idol appears every moment in a new guise steals my heart and away he goes This friend appears at each breath in a new dress now as a frail old man and now as a robust youth steals my heart and away he goes This friend appears at each breath in a new dress now as a frail old man and now as a robust youth He circuits across the earth for a few moments to pass his time He is Jesus who ascends to the rotating dome and is heard singing hymns steals my heart and away he goes This friend appears at each breath in a new dress now as a frail old man and now as a robust youth Now he is Joseph sending his shirt from Egypt enlightening the whole world with its colours Then he appears as a brightness from the eyes of Jacob so he could see him once again steals my heart and away he goes This friend appears at each breath in a new dress now as a frail old man and now as a robust youth My artful idol appears every moment in a new guise My artful idol appears every moment in a new guise steals my heart and away he goes This friend appears at each breath in a new dress now as a frail old man and now as a robust youth steals my heart and away he goes This friend appears at each breath in a new dress now as a frail old man and now as a robust youth

@Leo Gura leo sometimes when I think about infinite intelligence I remember it is nothing then I got disappointed. Like what is the point of infinite complexity? I cannot describe exactly what I feel but it is something like this.

I hope so. I want just to exit this state. I want to climb the spiral. I want to purify myself. I want Life.

@Leo Gura To be honest my case is very complicated. I have been through a lot of suffering lately. I have wild brain, wild spirtual dreams and wild feel of repsonsibility and guilt. I have been trying to escape this state of anxiety for 2 years now. It is like I forgot how to be a nornal an being. It is my main hinderance in my life. I feel like I am on the edge of awakening and o nthe same time on the edge of breakdown