wesyasz

Only if we step into perception of time and assume there is a difference between this and that. Am I wrong? Because in that moment, it seemed to be everything, didn't it?

Cooking is actually a good example of finding balance. It shows how abstract and unthinkable wide variety of flavours and textures you can mix together and how exciting it tastes if you find the perfect balance. It's mind opening if you happy to play, such as it is with life. These days I find it difficult to find balance, especially along current situation, such as it was with my move to Kathmandu. Staying any longer in Pokhara didn't felt right to me any more and now when I am in Kathmandu I meet people and I am more active but I miss the nature. A little disbalance, perhaps. Yesterday when practicing yoga I managed to do crow pose for 15s. For me it's an accomplishment! At least I did find balance in this! A few days ago something significant has happened to me. In the evening, when I actually have been just about going to sleep, one of my friends sent me a video called The Pleiadian Prophecy. I wonder what is that thing with Pleiadians? Louise has this channeling background until one day it wasn't true for her anymore, then someone else told me about her friend who says he has connection with Pleiadians and now this another person. In the video he says "you think you just exchange smiles with someone or your eyes meet, but actually what happens is that files are being swapped". How little contact we actually need to connect and raise consciousness of each other? I am writing about this because when I was attending "real" meetings with Louise in Rishikesh I once was brave enough to go sit with her and talk. And I wonder how many files this meeting has swapped, because after staring into each other eyes for good few minutes I knew she is me, and I am her, and I knew that she knows that also. That's how I know the answers aren't lying within the words, because the moment we would try to communicate it, it moves away. And that's after this meeting when I was sitting next to the Ganga river watching it's beautiful perfection and unrepeatable flow. And the funny thing is, I know someone who experienced this moment in her dream, being me, watching the river, next to the Himalayan Mountains. But going back to that video, I wasn't really feeling like watching it, but my friend told me to at least watch from 40th minute onward. So I did. And there was even this ego-mind chatter happening inside me saying 'yes, I know this all already' (?) until one moment he said something that hit me so deeply and on point that I lost my ground. It was just as in instant I understood completely the reality beyond time, what Now really is and what reality is. Because up to this point I've seen reality as linear events and even though I knew conceptually that future and past doesn't exist, I've seen this Now as different than some other Now. When anyone says, happiness can only be found Now, there was still some energy waiting for THE Now yet to come. Some different now, some now in the future. But it's illusory, because there is only Now. This Now. There never will be and there never was any other now, there is only Now and everything happens right Now. In "the same" Now (Yes, it's kind of discovery for me...)! Which means that nothing ever happened and nothing ever will but simultaneously everything happens in the same moment. And the moment I've started experiencing that I felt that this sense of Me is literally dying. Because to experience as this individual "Me", the perception of time is necessary. But it wasn't unpleasant. My heart was in a deep joy, but I felt just as I wasn't ready for the truth yet. My mind started engaging in it, asking its "what ifs". For example, as there is no time, what if you stuck somewhere for perceptual eternity? And the other part was saying, but that is the truth, how can you get lost finding yourself? But I took a stepless step back. Though my body felt like it's dissolving, I looked at my hand and I couldn't find it, I couldn't distinguish between my hand and rest of the reality. It felt like I'm going to disappear. Then I touched my face and the wall with such a great joy in being utterly Now and in awe of how beautiful it is that we even exist. I felt deeper understanding of what one of my friends meant when for once she told me about kissing the earth with the feet. It also felt like all the dots has been connected and I understood things I read or heard before. Once in the book "The Zen of Love" I read - "your awakening already has begun, but don't ask me how do I know it, I just know" and "you ask me how could I love you if I don't even know you, except that I know you". It came to my mind this evening and as I see now, it's been written by someone beyond time and space, or I should find the courage to say it's been written be me to myself. It lasted mildly for another day but even though I know it cannot past because it truly is all there is, there is a sense in me of experience which has passed. But with different point of perception now when I meditate and I'm not pulled into perception of time, every sound happen in the same space and from this space it isn't even possible to tell which one happens after which and if they are linear. Then in next few days I experienced strong anxiety and moments extreme fear, something which I haven't felt for a long, long time. I guess there is already knowing of what's true and inevitable, but it feels like I doesn't want to see it, because I am afraid that after the experience there will be no one to write about it... Then on Sunday on another zoom meeting there was a man describing exactly the same experience (it felt like he could just speak my words). And she said to him that the anxiety happens because ego already knows it doesn't really exist and it feels threatened because it knows it's one the way to its grave. And as exciting as it sounds it feels also as scary. I heard once somebody saying - there are two ways: slow and steady or quick and scary. I remember when I first read my friend wrote to me "it's not an easy experience to dream every night" I smiled because I used to find dreaming at night an easy experience. But the one I had recently gave me a bit of a sense what she meant. I was a little sceptical about past life experiences, because our perception is limited to our experience and I have never experienced that. But this dream was different. I remember sitting with someone I deeply loved with whom I shared understanding of reality and having a conversation about another "life". I would say it's been even happening more in that timeless space where we knew we will be separated but we didn't know where in the reality we are going to land and what signs we are going to leave so we can find each other again. Then I remember saying that now I understand why it's difficult to find each other, because her physical composition slightly differentiate in every "dream", because that's the nature of it. And we just jumped into that vortex of eternal Now not knowing where we are going to land with hope we will find each other once again. It actually felt pretty heartbreaking. Doesn't it fit into perfect category and definition of soulmates looking for each other? But then, how can I tell if it's something that I really remembered, something that is yet to be experienced or is it just the mind playing? Or was it just Now, same Now which I experience this moment, just a little less stable or more transparent. Is it possible that we actually have an individualized soul? Because then deepen question has came, if we are not looking for our soulmate but for ourselves and this entire "game" is about finding ourself...I think I have had this thought previously. Because how finding soulmate really looks like? I'm looking for myself, you are looking for yourself, so we find each other. How other could it be? When I woke up after entire dream at 3.30 I felt a little bit terrified that it is all just a dream and non of us exist, just eternal "I", which is one and everything, but to the ego it feels extremally lonely. Though, how could it be alone, and from what would it be separated if all is one and it is everything? But the shower of gratitude appeared the moment I realized I woke up in this beautiful life. This existence truly is a miracle. I still wonder where thoughts are coming from. Sometimes I try to float conscious in that in-between space right before falling asleep. The origin of these thoughts there is utterly unknown to me, because sometimes the images and words are so random. After many singing bowls sessions recently one evening when I did this again I catched a thought flying by "sound hospital". How beautiful, I thought, but where did it came from... ?! Apparently, this is it. The very seeking takes us away from Now, to imaginary future which doesn't exist. Isn't it true? Isn't it all perfection of existence? Unless the mind starts to judge one experience over the other, wrongdoings, rightdoings? Isn't it amazing enough that Universe desires to be you, so you are? Any "wrongdoings" has been our best at the time of their happening, everyone is doing their best at their level of consciousness, so are you and me. And sometimes dark energies come end express themselves too, sometimes we were not conscious enough to act any differently, if we could, we would. Wouldn't we?

I'm not sure about the content here and about how long that will last. But let's begin this journey of overcoming limitations and getting higher. We can always go higher. It's the matter of aim and loving ourselves, not matter of actual content or destination, because we are all unique. Even though we are one, our uniqueness and differences are here to be embraced, because that's the beauty of it. We can overcome anything we want to overcome and that journey - and journal - begins now. Even though it always begins now. All that's real here is love, all the rest is perspective. Let's play with that perspective. Let's find the mirror. Today is day #30 of my Yoga practice. Let's try to keep it for another 30, because why not? Belly to cobra, to chaturanga, to upward facing dog. And then I overdo it all and my entire back hurts . But I dance anyway, switch off the lights, switch off the mind. It's so hot here! But I can't stop it. Cannot stop listening. We are one. And we could go...

Thank you for a reminder. And thank you for being you .

The answer is found when we are present. When we are completely present with each other, the answer is there, because there is nothing to be answered, there is no more questions, they cease to exist. We already have the answer in our heart. We are beyond these bodies, because there is more and more clear seeing, that this "me" doing anything is sort of an illusion. Because how could I distinguish when this is me doing anything and when it's not? I don't do hearing, I don't do seeing, I don't do heart beating. What makes me believe that there is a doer of other things? I am aware, but do I do? I can focus attention on things I am aware of. Aren't synchronicities trying to show this to us, isn't it consciousness becoming conscious of itself? Slowly understanding is coming what it means when they tell about drop of water falling into the ocean. I slowly get it that there is no me inside the body, it's just you everywhere, it's me everywhere, it's love everywhere, there is just life happening on itself. And even though it still feels like "me" in this body, there is quiet peace behind it. Perhaps, this is what this life is all about? About finding yourself once again. Getting back home. Isn't it what we all long for so, so much? I think that life can be about anything, whatever we perceive it to be, it becomes. Isn't it? Though, when you get closer to yourself, your heart just lights up. It just knows. It knows. I never hold you, but I feel you. You never spoke, but I hear you. I never knew you, but I love you. Recently I have more dreams, but they aren't nightmares anymore. Only rarely. I don't mind dreaming, I like dreams. But if they appear, they appear. If not, then not. I am not choosing to have them or not, so I accept what is. You say, that some of them are just the creation of our mind. I wonder if this what we call our "reality" isn't a creation of our mind? But then, what is the mind? Surely it isn't something we as individuals possess, if we can share this connection and thoughts. "Since before time, I have been free. Birth and death are only doors through which we pass, sacred thresholds on our journey. Birth and death are a game of hide-and-seek. So laugh with me, hold my hand, let us say good-bye, say good-bye, to meet again soon. We meet today. We will meet again tomorrow. We will meet at the source every moment. We meet each other in all forms of life."

In the mind, just is. How in your direct experience does the present moment exist?

From direct experience.

I mean the last appearence of physical reality before the experience of death. Or in other words, what the mind will produce to continue the story.

You come back into experiencing through this body only if it is still suitable to be in it. And it's not that you have no choice. You ARE love. And if you come back, you come back to the last "moment", not "all over again". And if so, it is out of love, out of choice.

Nothing happens to awareness. It is aware of another experience. It might manifest another body/reality or might come back into this. Out of love.

Love is everything. Even yours nothing.

My note. My card.

So I started writing posts on my blog. The last one is titled Magician, but it hasn't been this way all the time. First I named it differently, but then something made me change it into magician and I am not sure why I did it as it isn't the word I most often use. Then, today, I checked my email and there has been a mail from a Tarot reading. Last year I discovered astrology and I've registered at this portal and I have been receiving these mails with readings from time to time. But from a few long months I gave it up and I have been sending them straight to trash. But today it's been titled "I drew a really important card for you this week!", so out of curiosity I opened the e-mail. On this week's card, a Magician stands with his arm aloft surrounded by the tools of his trade and the symbol for infinity above his head, suggesting that the possibilities are endless. It left me in wonder. First, because I discovered myself previous weeks that possibilities indeed are endless and everything is possible. But as with all the polarities, it has two sides of the coin. And the dark side of it is consciousness of the fact that there are possibilities which will be sacrificed for the one that will flourish. It also was one of the things I've been crying for along with the fact, that everything will pass, even if I wasn't totally conscious of it by that time. Those were tears for all that will never be directly experienced but is somehow sensed and feeled in the field of possibilities in my concsciousness. It is very difficult, because every possibility is made out of love just as everything else. And somehow I feel as that card is an answer to my prayer. It says that possibilities are endless, which shows me that there is no point to rummage through them, because there always will be another after another after another. And after all, in reality this present moment is all that we have and all that's required to do is to listen to our heart. But then, it is a little painful if your have displayed some of possible "futures", to me it somehow feels like it already happened and I'm just kissing goodbye to it. Also, time doesn't exist so it somehow might be true - just as true as our past is. Second, it left me very curious and concerned, because I have been recently contemplating the nature of thoughts and distinction between thoughts which are or aren't ours. And then, when I realized that I changed the title of my note to next day receive a "Magician" card, it dispatched a question: Who is that is taking actions through me? Who is writing this right now? Who has changed the title into Magician? And there is only silence that is the answer. Just as I am writing this, I sumultaneously joined zoom meeting with Louise Kay. And during silent sitting while she was guiding meditation she has answered my questions I have written above. "There is no you, who is doing anything. And you are that which knows." And it's been the first time I heard it so clearly and something shifted. It probably has been first time I've seen anyone this way - deep beyond thoughts, personality or projection - and seen also everything that is happening on it's own dance. It lasted for a while, it made me burst laugh or feel shaky. And then the thought came - "I see". And then this seeing slowly faded, leaving me startled but in peace. Some time ago I watched a movie called "Mr. Nobody". It's a story of 9 years old boy whos parents split and he has been faced with the choice of choosing his mother or father. And when he is very old and is just about to die, he's interviewed. And it goes as that: - Everything you say, is contradictory. You can't have been in one place or another in the same time. - You mean to say, we have to make the choices... - From all these lives... which one is the right one? - Each of these lives is the right one. Every path is the right path. Everything, could have been everything else and it would have just as much meaning. - But, you can't be dead an still be here. You can't not exist... is there life after death? - (He laughs...) After death?! How can you be so sure, you even exist? You don't exist. Neither do I. We only live in the imagination of a 9 years old child. We are imagined by the 9-years child, faced with an impossible choice. And then, he adds: - In chess, it is called Zugzwang, when the only viable move is not to move. As long as you don't choose, everything remains possible.

I see this connection to everything very clearly now. And anytime I think of something, even of a little thing and then it is given to me, that I see this unimaginable love poured all over me. And it often makes me feel so foolish, because I feel loved no matter what I do, I did or I will do. Sometimes it makes me cry and repeat all of this again... "I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you". It feels that as this happening, God tells me, that no matter my imperfections, shadows or characteristics he loves me unconditionally. And it feels so foolish, because it shows me how unloving often I was or I am, how my mind is judging instead of accepting and understanding and how much love I wasn't or still am unable to see. It's heartbraking. And this is what love is capable of doing. It also feels foolish, because how come we know better what is good for the world or somebody else, when there is perfect magnificent intelligence behind every action? All the urgly and lovely seeds are necessary, there wouldn't be lovely ones without the urgly ones, because the distinction between themselves itself is what brings them into existence, so we can know both and be able to differentiate. Just as the light cannot exist without the shadow, because then light wouldn't know itself as the light. Same way for this existence to happen, I think both low and high energies are necessary and harmony is what we need to find. "It was the pure language of the world. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time... Because, when you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits for you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only."

Because the pain of a Dark Night is so intolerable, you will try to escape from yourself. Your own thoughts will become a prison, so your heart and soul will do everything they can to bring you back to life. Eventually, the only escape you'll find is to be present, so you can free yourself from your mind. You will only get away from the pain by breathing, watching the wind caressing the trees, surrendering your will to the will of God. While your primary intention was to escape from yourself, a Dark Night will bring your attention and awareness back into yourself. You will stare at yourself in the mirror and see your pain, addictions, fears, attachments, conditioning, labels, limitations, and you will stop identifying with them. You will wake up from the illusion, by realizing that you are much more than your pain, much more than your suffering, and that the light within you is the purest light of existence. As a result of this, you will tame your ego, and understand that life keeps going. You will look around with compassion discovering that you are not the only one who is suffering. This will expand your vision, and you will understand that the separation was the best thing for your twin and yourself because you both still had things to heal within. Because you both deserved better, and at that time none of you was ready to give and receive unconditional love. Eventually, this will wake you up to the mission of assisting as many people as you can and be of service to others and to God. You will see the magnificent Divine Plan behind the egoic constructs of the mind. The most important lesson from this period of your life, is that separation was an illusion because your twin was within yourself all the time. You were never separate, but the Dark Night of The Soul was needed to let go all the labels and limitations you were identifying yourself with. This Dark Night then becomes light, because you will find who you truly are and the veils of illusion will vanish. At that moment, you will be free. As a result, you will find self love and understand that you don't need anybody to complete you. That you can be happy with and within yourself. That you've always been whole inside, and that your beloved is right there inside your heart. He/She never left you, they were just helping you find your freedom. You will understand that you are the master of your reality and you won't let external situations bring you down. Then you will be so empowered and emanating so much love and light, that you will magnetize your beloved twin flame back to you. Now both of you will be ready to give and receive true unconditional love, and you will have the most beautiful and harmonious union you could ever imagine. But to get there, the pain was necessary to leave behind everything that was no longer serving you to break away from the illusion. It was necessary to leave behind the masks of the ego and remember your true self.

Thoughts Is it boring to have all the answers? Apparently it is if I'm still asking questions. Some questions shouldn't be answered. I've got the answer Why am I still asking questions? Something else? A plan B? Quite like that expression. An alternative? Isn't it loosing all it's beauty Of giving it everything you have? The longer I try to understand that, The less I understand. You can only change yourself NOW. Look how TRULY BEAUTIFUL it is Look around! And if you really need to talk to someone About how amazing it is... Yes, you guessed it right Just talk to yourself How cool is that? Focus on one thing Observe the mind And be STILL STILL STILL Let mud go down to the bottom Make people smile But how to make people smile when I have no energy to smile myself? Wait a minute. Why do I need a job. Because I need money. How else can I make money? By living my purpose. What the fuck is my life purpose? That's YOU who set the rules. Not them! Is loneliness a state of mind? Or is it a real thing? It's when there is nobody who understands you. Why do you need to be understood? Because I can't deal with it on my own Deal with what Deal with my situation What situation??? With memories Nobody will help you to deal with it. You need to do it on your own. Fuck. Fear. What if it won't be as bad as you think? Shit, it will be. Will it? Separation is the biggest illusion ever! Perception is the only true thing There is. Perception creates reality What makes you try to maintain your self image? Infinite love forgive everything Because it's infinite The point of life is to EXPERIENCE If somebody tells or shows you they love you They love themselves expressed through you Moon is always there So is sun! We are so ONE How to put that into words? Literally Make people smile! Like Wave to them :)) You think it's a curse, it's a blessing. Excuse me, do you have time? You are creating the reality with your mind!!!!!! Is losing your mind Good Or a bad thing? Where some people have strength from to turn their pain into the beauty? Is their art Really a beauty? Or is it just still pain Appreciated by others in pain? Are we just attracting particles from the space To channel through us? There is everything In space We attract the ones we attract We collect the ones we want to collect. When love is there. You stop asking questions. You have all the answers. Is this all just my Fantasy land? Why do you care about such a small things? Like social norms? Do them mean anything really? You've got the knowledge It's up to you what you gonna do with it Nirvana Ego death Being just pure love. Being just energy. Just. Nothing else. I have just experienced it. >:D You don't need anything Like ANYTHING To be happy. Because you are the happiness. You are love. You are ENERGY. You are spirit above this form. You are not form. YOU ARE NOT FORM Let others know how beautiful they are! They might actually don't know! 2019

I am recently crying a lot, becoming conscious of the fact, that everything that is appearing, one day will need to be forgotten. Everyone we meet, everything that happens... everything will pass, no matter how much love we are able to share. Everyone will need to be said goodbye to and everything we experience will disappear. It is the tragedy and beauty of existence, it is sadness and happiness dancing together, pain and pleasure, light and dark, yin and yang. But I find this consciousness so important as it is gateway for appreciation, for love and for truth. And, do you think while you were crying, there was a person also dropped her tears for the same thoughts?

Yes, unknown can be lumped with love and whatever else, because those are just words which are trying to point to knowing unknown. What cannot be lumped is your interpratation, but I thought there is no one to have an interpretation. But something is conscious that there is no one.

I fully agree! But you see, how do you know you are not in a hypnosis right now? How do you know our mind hasn't been filled with enough believes to keep us stuck at certain level of understanding to this very moment? Because you must allow possibility that what you know and what is your point of reference at this moment, might be so called hypnosis itself and suggestions/concepts which has been placed there already. This is why, when you have written that it has never been recorded and physical reality has some limits, I asked you, how do you know? Because only by stepping out of everything we've learned we can see what's real and use our direct experience instead of suggestions to discover what it is. And it is possible to then discover that possibilities are infinite and whatever idea you hold on to is just a concept and you create your reality by creating your own, unique perspective. The truth is unknown, it is a mistery. And everything is possible.

Again, these are assumptions, aren't them? At first that there are some others and physical objects. Maybe there are, maybe there aren't. We don't know. What you describe as physical things, is something which might not even be a thing, but in order to make it something we gave it a name and believed that this is it. This is what is a concept believed in. And if you say it has never been recorded, then you should read "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda. With an open mind .

How do you know that?

It doesn't, there are no rules. We have no idea how it works, that's all just concepts believed in. This physical existence is mind itself. Which is exactly what Ivankiss's experience shows .

Privately message who then? Thanks for quick answer by the way You see, communication through words will never be it and I guess we both know it. When I said merging, I meant realizing the illusion of separation. When I have written "we create reality" which you misread as "I create reality" telling me "you can believe you create reality", I was trying to express that this "we create reality" is reality itself as a whole, Love, God, Awareness, Unknown (however you want to call it) or Consciousness which you are in denial of and which you stated in some other topic (one of a few I meant, answering your question) you do not believe (who do not believe then, as you claim there is no you?). But you see, it could also be that "I create reality" because what I am is beyond this body, it is also you, because I am you and you are me. And also by "we", I meant me who write this, and you, who I apparently am able to privately message to .

This is amazing! I am a little bit envy now . But... did you move it or did it move on it's own? Wonder if it's going to happen regularly now!

I didn't read the whole topic, but to me VeganAwake might have realized who he truly is and now he's in some process of denial spinning around every topic in the forum telling everyone how much he doesn't exist. Of course VeganAwake as separate self doesn't, but something run around the forum and spread the posts. Yet, I agree that chasing enlightenment is another story within the dream, but once recognized that it is just a story, realization comes that everything else is a story too, reflection of the mind and we create the reality. So, paradoxically, no enlightenment is enlightenment. I agree with ivankiss, that dissociation is not liberation. Love is true. And to be love is not to be disocciated, but to be fully merged.