PlayOnWords

Because it exists. Let’s take Santa Claus. We would, as adults, say that Santa is just an idea invented to make children behave, it doesn’t exist in reality. But actually, it does exist. Its very existence is the concept itself, and it lives as that concept, and in this case, it has permeated Western culture. So much so that when we speak to children about Santa we adopt the position that Santa exists. When we speak to adults about Santa we adopt the position that Santa doesn’t exist. And yet, the subject is always the same, always an analysis of the concept of Santa Claus - whether we are saying it’s true or false. Thus we can say Santa is true and Santa is false in the same breath, and both perspectives are true! The notion that Santa is non-existent can be held with the same certainty as the notion that Santa is existent. For the child, its belief in Santa is stronger than the adults, but notice that this doesn’t actually give the concept any more validity. In the same way, an adults typical no-belief in Santa doesn’t give the concept any more falsity. But, the adult has to first believe in their concept of Santa to come to the conclusion that it’s false. In this way, we can see that the concept of Santa Claus is its very existence and we, as humans, can either accept the concept and all it entails, or reject the concept. THE CONCEPT, however, DOES NOT CHANGE. In other words, its existence never changes, its truthfulness as the form it has taken never changes. Thus the essence of it remains intact. This is why we can take the statement ‘Santa Claus exists’ as both true and false. As soon as it has been thought, it has been born. That is the truth of it. However, we can make the claim that the idea of Santa is simply just an idea and does not exist in external reality, and in this way we can say it’s false… which we can take as true! Some other examples: ‘You are a murderer’ True: You’ve killed spiders, for instance. Maybe you’ve been fishing and killed and cooked the fish. You have clipped your nails which you could say is a form of murder. False: You’ve never committed the act of murder in the way humans typically think of it, and in the legal sense. ‘I don’t like olives’ True: You don’t like olives. False: You’ve enjoyed meals in the past that have been cooked using olive oil. Maybe you’ve enjoyed a salad with olive oil as a dressing. ‘I’ve never taken drugs’ True: You’ve never tried weed, cocaine, meth, etc. False: You’ve taken prescription drugs, antibiotics and whatnot. You’ve had caffeine before. Everyday you ingest sugar and salt which we could view as a type of drug. ‘I can’t fly’ True: You don’t have the ability, as a human, to fly like a bird. False: You can and probably have been on a plane and flown to another part of the world. You can also experience flying in your dreams. ‘I don’t have psychic abilities’ True: You can’t read minds, communicate telepathically, etc. False: Everyday you use your intuition or gut instinct to make decisions. You are able to make predictions that are sometimes correct based on nothing but ‘a feeling’. With that said, I claim that any statement can be seen as both true and false (which is still a form of truth). We can use our minds to view any statement from a perspective of truth or falsehood. This is precisely why we have so much diversity in minds across the world. This is why the spectrums of politics, philosophy and personality exist as they do. Because they are all true, given that we look at them from a certain perspective. To really hammer this home I want to stress: the very act of conceptualising something is its birth and existence. It is born from a part of reality (your mind) and thus exists in reality in the form of concept. And actually, the coup de grace of all this is: all perspectives can only ever be, in varying degrees, partially true.

11/40.

You should be grateful for a girls prior sexual escapades. Her blowjobs would truly suck without them. The root of this problem is that you've got some insecurity re other guys being better than you. If you truly believed that you were pretty much the best this girl could ever do, you wouldn't care about her sexual past. Seems like the two aren't connected but they are.

I'm never truly satisfied with it but I feel like I can recognise the good from the bad. The bad gets thrown out, left behind or redrafted. The good I can return to a few days, weeks, months later and say 'that's still fucking sick'. I remember Brian Eno saying something like: you have to actively seek inspiration, rarely does it just fall in your lap. a lot of time we spend tuning the instruments, practicing or exploring, waiting for something to happen. And eventually inspiration finds you. I think this is fairly common among artists. Numerous musicians have spoken about songs they hate playing live because they've played it so many times. And I suppose the joy of going through the arduous process you describe is sharing it with people, performing - then the song takes on a new life. Do you do any of that?

Find one on Google Images, download, attach to post.

Some form of therapy, some form of bodywork and maybe psychedelics. You'll have to make the decision as to whether you're stable enough for psychedelics. If you do end up taking any, don't fuck around with big doses. Keep them low, be sensible. E.g: half a tab of LSD. And you must do this. An example of what I mean by this would be writing out a list of all your traumas, big and small. This way you can become aware of how they are still playing out in your mind. You can't change something you're not aware of thus the importance of self-investigation. Once you became aware of the roots of the shit in your mind you can start digging at them and pull them out.

"I've got it!" is the mind telling you that you don't got it.

Or go one further and have no life story. And that would be, from my understanding, what people call enlightenment.

I was given Zen Flesh, Zen Bones as a gift. It's a compendium of koans.

That's good! Start from there. All this external seeking will only, at its very best, give you a temporary pseudo-relief. It should be becoming more and more evident to you that you need to change. You keep hitting your head against the seemingly impenetrable brick wall of your self and then you refuse to take out a sledgehammer and break the wall down. You simply must investigate your mind, deconstruct the beliefs and perceptions you were indoctrinated with and commit to change. Otherwise you're gonna keep going round and round like you have been, never getting anywhere. I know it's hard, but shit man, what else are you gonna do with your life, keep posting your problems on this forum?

No experience with 1D-LSD but have tried other derivatives. Take a quarter of a tab and see how it affects you. I heard somewhere that derivatives tend to be stronger than standard LSD, don't know if that's true though.

I love Ken Wilber. Have just picked up Sex, Ecology, Spirituality.

What a great thread. Thanks for turning me on to this.

Of course friends are great. But what are you doing for yourself? Friends won't fix you, and a lot of them won't help you if you require it constantly.

I can see that. Are you doing anything positive in your life that is making a difference? Therapy and whatnot.

Listen to @Roy. Couldn't have said it better myself. Not sure if a romantic evening is even necessary to be honest, she sounds like she's ready to go and if she thinks it's gonna be another date with no sex you might even struggle to get her out. I'd just invite her round and dive in!

That is a big dose for a first-timer so at least you've learned a lesson there. Having said that, I'd be willing to bet that dormant trauma has been activated in the same way @Ulax suggested and it was probably inevitable, with psychedelics or not. Now you've got the task of doing inventory on your mind and discovering the roots of this disharmony. Deeply investigate your childhood and see if you can piece together the puzzle of recognising how it's playing out in your mind today - therapy is great for this. I also suggest visiting a practitioner of some form of bodywork, you will see in my previous posts I have been banging on about Jin Shin Jyutsu. I resonated with your post a fair bit and I feel like I was in a similar position not so long ago, even with the sudden changes of diet, nootropics, exercise etc so I'm really rooting for you.

Just remembered that, as well, when we are presented with difficult/stressful situations we can regress stages. That's why if someone tried breaking into your house you'd react from Stage Red, which is its purpose.

I'm not sure a Stage Green would or could but Yellow would understand the necessity of being prepared and understand that while a draft is not ideal, it's the lesser of two evils when the country is facing the prospect of war. The other option being going in with no reserves/civilian training when the war kicks off. I don't know if any government has reached even 50% Yellow yet. I hear Scandinavia is very Green but that's still a far cry from Yellow.

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I remember seeing burlesque-style women and flashing lights like Vegas in a trip once. I had masturbated beforehand and worked in a casino at the time so I guessed this was the 'immediate' and 'distant' parts of my subconscious coming out and intertwining. The penises could just be because you watched porn and maybe the ego latched onto it to freak you out and make sure you don't take LSD again. But then you had the balls, if you'll pardon the pun, to go ahead and take 5-MeO so I don't know. It's my understanding and experience that most people have some work to do on their sexuality. Whether it's something that's happened to them and the consequences of that, or some repressed sexual desires. And everything in-between. Could there be anything in your past relating to sexuality that could be unhealed in you? I don't know your gender or sexual orientation and I don't need to know, but I would like to stress that just because you were seeing penises everywhere and it became central to the trip doesn't mean that you have a secret desire of a thousand penises in your butt. It could mean that, but not necessarily. It could even illustrate something so seemingly insignificant that is unresolved in your psyche. Maybe you walked in on your mum getting pounded when you were 5 and here the trip is showing you how you felt about that. So you'll have to go inside yourself and see what could be the cause of it.

I am currently virtually bed-bound also. I read when I can, research topics of interest, etc. But as you say, sometimes I just don't have the energy. I'm doing a lot of Jin Shin Jyutsu - essentially a form of bodywork, trying to heal from various ailments - so that takes up a lot of my time and is actually contributing to my fatigue as the energy in my body is doing its thing and changes are occuring. I think the things you've mentioned are good. When I feel guilty about wasting my time I try to console myself with the idea that this is the best thing for me right now. If I need to rest and watch The Simpsons all day, that's fine; this is what my body is asking, actually, demanding of me right now. The more I can be aligned with my body, the quicker I can get back to life.

Found this. Presumably Leo's showing you some sort of alien embodiment?