bazera

His method is meditating near babbling brooks

https://www.actualized.org/insights/how-pickup-lines-work I also do this intuitively, not only with girls but in general, it comes off as natural and the best ones aren't pre-planned, it's always the ones that are just coming out of me when I'm in a good mood and a fun state of mind. I like to compare it to jazz sometimes. It's spontanious. The ones that are spontanious always get the most positive reactions. You also intuit when to say what, and don't think it through. One difficulity I have though is with language. My first language isn't English, so I think / speak 99% in my primary language, and I find that all this intuitive spontanious humor / wittiness / cleverness is tied in how intuitive for you is the language you use. So I'm mostly able to do that in my native language, because otherwise it comes a bit to mechanical if it's too custom and sounds cringy. Not the easy ones like "thats what she said", thats a low hanging fruit I need to level up my language skills

https://www.actualized.org/insights/truth-as-transparency That's scary. But as I read that post, it got me thinking of all the reasons why I got scared. I have to dwell on that. Thanks for sharing! Btw @Leo Gura your text posts have been gems from day one. Those are my favorite types of posts. I think many people here would agree. Really appreciate it, throughout the years they got me thinking on all the various topics and ideas that I wouldn't have considered myself, so thanks for that.

It's very confusing honestly. Can you help me underatand what he means by that? Does that just mean that the insights are on the level of Being and not intellect and concepts? I just don't get it why he dismisses psychedelics (or any other method) so much. But anyways, I'll try to be extra careful not to copy his biases.

He says that a method will not do it. He emphasizes that you must do it, directly. So in that way he also denies Yoga for example, or any other set of practices. But he also says practices help but it's not enough for the final leap. So where is the disagreement? You also say that psychedelics aren't enough, that any fool who does psychedelics might not get those insights, and that it took way more work than just taking psychedelics, that contemplation played a big part in your understanding on top of psychedelics. So, in the end, you did it, not psychedelics, didn't you? But you will say to this that you'd never have been able to underatand all these without psychedelics. So yeah, idk.

Delete an app from your phone, log out from browsers after each use, and you can even install Chrome extensions that disable stories, reels, etc. It's fully customizable. I've successfuly went from 5-6h Insta screentime to basically 0-10 minutes a day. Most days 0.

How do you see your future in that regard? If you think that combo is so rare, do you see yourself settling with less attractive woman? Maybe we won't care about attractiveness that much as we age. But that's a big if.

Me too. And in the end I'm trying to get used to what I found is most sustainable. It's just eating more or less healthy unprocessed home cooked meals 80-90% of the times and leave some room for deserts or something processed every once in a while (after I lose access fat) Calorie counting is a temporary tool that I use to make weight-loss easier. Good luck 🙏

@Judy2 Actually that turned out to be harder for me than losing weight in the first place. Last year I lost 15kg but later I regain all that back and +5kg more. So now I have a very hard learned lesson that I need to change my eating habits or else losing weight wil be meaningless because I'll regain all back. Then I analyzed my eating habits, reasons behind binge junk-eating sessions, trigger points etc, and now I'm working on fixing some behavioral patterns that are causing over-eating. It's not hunger, it's not addiction to junkfood or anything, I found it was just an emotional coping mechanism that was triggered after guilt, shame, bitterness, etc. And I did things that caused all that. Anyways, to keep the story short, when I reach goal weight, I'll still track calories for 1-2 months to just get additional feel for what portion size maps to what calories, and then I'll try to eat 80% clean, and break binge eating habit. Hope it goes well. If you are considering counting calories, it's just an effective strategy if you don't want to leave weigh loss / maintenance up to chance. Also if you have unhealthy eating habits, it's a nice way to get used to and measure what's the proper amount of food for your physique / goals. But if you don't want counting, you could always just eat less and move more. That's the golden rule.

Yes I track calories, protein and carbs. The reason why I track these is that I find it extremely effective when losing weight. I've gained 30kg (66 pounds) over the last couple of years, and the only sustainable way of actually seeing decreased number on a scale for me is to eat X amount of calories (+-100). So, counting calories helps me lose weight and adjust my food intake over weeks to continue losing weight. I could potentially just reduce the portion size instead of calorie counting, but again, I prefer to be more precise. I tried portion control, but I sucked at it. I underestimated food volume and then I discovered I was eating at maintenance calories. And in order to not go insane with counting every day, I have the same meal routine 5-6 days a week (pre-counted) and I eat something different on the weekends just to stay sane As for protein, I try to retain as much muscle mass as I can during weight-loss and high (150g+) protein intake supposedly helps me with that. As for carbs, I need them for energy to weight lift and run. That's it. All 3 has practical purposes.

Why? You lack experience? What if you just socialized much more, and through trial and error got good, isn't that an obvious option? What's stopping you do that?

Thanks 🙏🏻 That's what I intuitively tend to do. Somehow less words and lecturing makes more sense, if she wishes to talk, I am here to listen. Thank you brother.

One of my close friends lost mother very unexpectedly due to a doctors misdiagnose, she was 49 years old and feeling well mostly, and all of a sudden she felt bed, they bought her to clinic and doctors mistreated her and she died in 2 days (this weekend). My friend is in shock, I don't even know what to say to her, she was very close to her mom. I also lost my dad 2 years ago the same way, he was well and strong and in 10 minutes he was dead (due to brain aneurysm). And I know how painful it is, especially after the initial shock wears off, and she returns to her daily life, it will be very hard. And I want to help but not sure how. So, what would you say to someone in that position? How would you ease her pain?

Who said the goal of the forum was that? I think you overestimate what a forum is supposed to be. And if you take all the variables into account of what makes a healthy community, moderation is a big part of it. I've been around here for a decade reading posts daily and I've seen so many harsh things people say and getting away with so many things. It just doesn't make sense to me how some people are just asking to get banned. You won't behave like an asshole in a community that you value and benefit in some way. Yeah if we were all were saints and sages we won't be needing a moderation and policing, but in that case we won't be needing a forum either probably. Just try to create a community without moderation, see where it goes, then get back to us and report your results. Moderation necessity doesn't come out of thin air, it's based on an actual need that's being met with it. Again, if you act decent, I don't think mods or Leo will restrict you. At least that's my experience so far.

Can he get away with that? What is more effective, good looks without proper inner game or bad / average looks with proper game? Most people with exceptionally good looks aren't interested in character development, I guess because they think they can get what they want just with their looks only. That's probably true for models though when it comes to material things. But they doesn't seem to be interested in anything beyond that. Of course I over-generalize, all good looking people aren't that way.

Some more anecdotes on this looksmaxing thing. 6 year old kid doing face exercises to make his jawline more sharper is crazy. I feel so lucky that I grew up without internet at least till ~11-12 years old. Who knows in which toxic rabbit hole kids will fall into these days.

[7/30] ✅ Weight loss 1st week result: -2.8kg (-6.1 pounds). No Relapse (1/100) Caloric Deficit Leg workout + 30m run 45m reading

For the past few years, I’ve been struggling to stay consistent with myself — with the promises I make to myself, with integrity, and with discipline. I’ve examined this many times and identified some fundamental issues that I’m working to fix. This journal will serve as public accountability while I build the foundation for the next phase of my life. I’ve just turned 30, and I now realize how little time I have and how easy it is to waste most of it. I need to take much more action than I did in my 20s. Currently, I’m struggling with addiction, I’m overweight, I do the bare minimum at my job as a software developer, I don’t exercise much, and I deal with some anxiety. I know how to fix all of it — and more. I know what to do to make my life unrecognizably better (at least to try my best), and inaction only makes me resent myself more. I know what to do. I just have to do it. This thread will help me stay accountable. I’ll be posting every Saturday with a report on the previous week. This is how it will go. Phase 1: 3 Months I’ve been overconsuming pornography and engaging in compulsive masturbation. Since I’m single and somewhat isolated, I need to control this habit. I will abstain from both to reset my dopamine reward cycle. I’ve been slacking off at work, so I need to refocus and concentrate more. I currently work in 45-minute blocks, then rest for a few minutes, repeating this 2–3 times a day. I want to increase this to at least 6 blocks. Work inconsistency has caused me to sleep very late or work late into the night. As I fix my work habits, my sleep habits should improve as well. My goal is to sleep at least 7 hours, from 12:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m. I’ve gained a lot of weight. I’m currently around 105 kg and eat a lot of junk food. The plan is to build muscle and lose fat simultaneously until I reach 72–75 kg. Eat 1,800–2,000 calories with at least 160 g of protein Weight train at least 3 times per week Jog for 30 minutes at least 3 times per week Cut out junk food at least 90% of the time I work as a software developer, and the industry is changing rapidly. I need to keep up. I will invest at least 1–2 hours per day in studying, building side projects, or diving deeper into AI. Read books for at least 1 hour per day. Summary of Phase 1 No porn or masturbation No social media Limited YouTube/Reddit for recreation 6–8 daily 45-minute work blocks 1–2 hours of study 1 hour of reading Fixing sleep routine Weight loss: 1,800–2,000 calories 3x weightlifting, 3x cardio weekly Cut out junk food Phase 2: 3 Months On top of the foundation built in Phase 1: Add spiritual practices: Mindfulness meditation (breath-focused) and Kriya Yoga pranayama Add therapeutic practices such as shamanic breathwork, TRE (Trauma Release Exercises), and self-therapy journaling to work through unresolved trauma and issues from the past few years Continue weight loss and exercise — likely reaching target weight by the end of Phase 2 Continue reading and studying Allow masturbation at most once per week after the first 90 days, since more than that negatively affects my life Phases 3 and 4 I can’t say much about these yet. I imagine strengthening spiritual practices, making them more focused and prioritized, socializing more, and possibly starting to date — though dating may be too distracting at the moment, and I don't want it honestly since I've recently got out of a LTR. Phases 4+ Getting involved with psychedelics More socializing More dating experience Starting to work on additional income streams aside from my job Working on creative projects Traveling Meeting new people Exciting things — but first, the foundation. That’s the plan. I won’t plan further than this because planning is a trap for me. Planning gives me a false sense of accomplishment, but it isn’t real progress. Real accomplishment comes from daily execution — day in and day out. It’s that simple. I’ll update every Saturday. 52 updates total. Let’s see how far I go. See you next week.

Wait, I thought you were referring to a solo retreat that you did which was followed by a video called "Outrageous experiments with consciousness" if I remember correctly.

@Leo Gura I thought that was the point of a bootcamp, I haven't been to one but if that isn't happening, what are those guys paying thousands of dollars for? Just to be pushed to approcah? It's a great feeling when you just don't care at the party about any outcomes and are enjoying yourself with humor and playfulness. But of course if you are there to practice approaching, that comes with anxiety, at least for me. That's where the "work" comes into play.

For sure. That forces us to learn to use AI tools as employees, especially in programming. And that can be demotivating sometimes because you were good at your job for 10 years and now somebody with 3 years of experience can do more with AI than you can do manually, and you are forced to jump into AI bandwagon. Forced to join AI rat race. Sometimes I wish we could go back. But maybe people also thought like that during transition from horses to cars, who knows. Only time will tell if the effects are positive or negative.

That will be regained very quickly. Last year I lost 33 pounds through caloric deficit and exercise, but then in 5-6 months I gained it all back and more. I realized I had to completely change my eating habits long term to lose and, more importantly, maintain a healthy range of weight. Eating fruit or fasting for 2-3 weeks are fine, but he can't do that long term and probably he'll regain all that weight back, and potentially more because he will be deprived of all the food he liked and possibly overeat. Better strategy is don't change your food categories much, just decrease portion size. If you want to go step further, remove processed and junk food and maintain caloric deficit. If you want to go step further, add 60-80m cardio a week. Next, if you want to go even further start weight lifting and track your protein intake. Also track your carb intake because you'll need energy for exercising. And realize that once you see your desired number on a scale, it doesn't end there. Actually your journey of health maintenance starts there. You've to somehow build and maintain long-term eating and exercise plan, or else sooner or later you'll end up being the same weight or more as you are now. More likely as you age.

It's simple, you eat in a caloric deficit. If you are too lazy to count calories, just eat less than you are used to. If you want to boost the process even more, eat less carbs than you're used to. Just exercising won't make you lose fat anyways, you do that through less eating. But exercise will build muscle, improve cardiovascular health, and benefit you in so many other ways. But if you want to strictly loss weight and see number go down on a scale, you can do that without exercising.

Have you tried Notion? Some people like Obsidian https://obsidian.md/

Yes you need to be, the whole point is putting attention on spine during breathing up and down.