bazera

@AtmanIsBrahman How do you imagine the most trufthul teaching to be? How would it differ from Leo's or Peter's work? Is the medium of "teaching" even applicable to the kind of truthfulness you're referring to?

@Valach Yes that's the goal. But quite an advance state that only comes after years of work and contemplation (supposedly). Plus, after lots of trial and error in relationship field as well.

Why not do both? Learn some "game", which basically is a skillset that extroverted and fun to be with guys do naturally, if you observe. That grows you, you need to face fears, accept rejection and be okay with it, and it touches and tiggers ego in some crucial ways that can be observed from a meta perspective. You learn to be more vulnerable and in the end you learn to just have fun and play. And also you then put that aside and focus on attachment and behavioral patterns that you show up with, observe them, contemplating why you do some of those, what's the issue there, what needs does it fullfill. Maybe learn some non-violent communication. For example, I didn't realize that I has some anxious and also some avoidant patterns before some relationships, and then I realized what was sourcing them which I'm working on, and that only happened because I was triggered so many times by experience that a certain relationships gave me. So it was invaluable. There is huge growth opportunities in learning game & attraction and then a whole set of those in learning how to build a proper intimate relationship. All those require inner work in different ways.

@WonderSeeker That's interesting. Global trends affect my decisions as well I think. I have my own home, I live alone and I work remotely. So most of the week I'm not dealing with people which is very comfortable lifestyle for me (at least at this stage of my life). The only reason I was able to design such a lifestyle is that I'm part of a modern society and I'm using opportunities that Western culture gives to me. I live in Eastern Europe but working remotely for a German companies. Why I mentioned that is I'm well aware that if I was born 100 years ago in my country, my decision of having children would be much different, of couse I'd want to have them more. Even today, if I was more extroverted type, I'd need more socialization and that would probably also affect that decision. There are 100s of factors that go into that decision, some of them I'm aware, some of them I'm not probably. The point is, that decision isn't absolute, I might even change it in the future, but mostly it's based in the fact that I feel I still have to do certain stuff that requires my 100% focus and attention, and having children will ruin it almost certainly. But I'm not generalising that, it's just me in the current phase of my life and plus directly observing my friends to have new borns and asking them questions, that makes me want it even less. One last point, it's valuable to contemplate the reasons why I don't want kids, because there might be some fears, insecurities, etc that needs some light of awareness, I'll keep pondering.

Okay, just woke up, it's 7am. Let's continue this thread. Last few days was full of up and downs but we're not giving up 💪 Yesterday I contacted and hired a nutrition and exercise coach, who will help me to stay accountable to my weight loss habits till I lose 66 pounds. So that should be locked in. Sleep schedule is fixed, finally. Now I have to focus 100% on no relapses any more, and that's basically it. This will clear up mental space for meditation and yoga. Reading habit is locked in basically, I read almost daily, I need to put more attention on study habit, and that's it. Let's start 30 day challenge because I need this momentum and I need to take this more seriously. Rule #1 => no more addiction relapses or everything else gets destroyed. This one thing makes or breaks my life. Proper diet with caloric deficit and exercise will be done. Meditation and Yoga in the mornings. At least 30 minute reading or study each day => aim for 1.5h That's it, nothing else. For 30 days straight. I can do this for sure. I was doing these in the last couple months but not consistently. Relapse messed up my last attempt (as well as all the other attepts), so I need to really learn that lesson now. I'll check in everyday. Today will be first day.

For the past few years, I’ve been struggling to stay consistent with myself — with the promises I make to myself, with integrity, and with discipline. I’ve examined this many times and identified some fundamental issues that I’m working to fix. This journal will serve as public accountability while I build the foundation for the next phase of my life. I’ve just turned 30, and I now realize how little time I have and how easy it is to waste most of it. I need to take much more action than I did in my 20s. Currently, I’m struggling with addiction, I’m overweight, I do the bare minimum at my job as a software developer, I don’t exercise much, and I deal with some anxiety. I know how to fix all of it — and more. I know what to do to make my life unrecognizably better (at least to try my best), and inaction only makes me resent myself more. I know what to do. I just have to do it. This thread will help me stay accountable. I’ll be posting every Saturday with a report on the previous week. This is how it will go. Phase 1: 3 Months I’ve been overconsuming pornography and engaging in compulsive masturbation. Since I’m single and somewhat isolated, I need to control this habit. I will abstain from both to reset my dopamine reward cycle. I’ve been slacking off at work, so I need to refocus and concentrate more. I currently work in 45-minute blocks, then rest for a few minutes, repeating this 2–3 times a day. I want to increase this to at least 6 blocks. Work inconsistency has caused me to sleep very late or work late into the night. As I fix my work habits, my sleep habits should improve as well. My goal is to sleep at least 7 hours, from 12:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m. I’ve gained a lot of weight. I’m currently around 105 kg and eat a lot of junk food. The plan is to build muscle and lose fat simultaneously until I reach 72–75 kg. Eat 1,800–2,000 calories with at least 160 g of protein Weight train at least 3 times per week Jog for 30 minutes at least 3 times per week Cut out junk food at least 90% of the time I work as a software developer, and the industry is changing rapidly. I need to keep up. I will invest at least 1–2 hours per day in studying, building side projects, or diving deeper into AI. Read books for at least 1 hour per day. Summary of Phase 1 No porn or masturbation No social media Limited YouTube/Reddit for recreation 6–8 daily 45-minute work blocks 1–2 hours of study 1 hour of reading Fixing sleep routine Weight loss: 1,800–2,000 calories 3x weightlifting, 3x cardio weekly Cut out junk food Phase 2: 3 Months On top of the foundation built in Phase 1: Add spiritual practices: Mindfulness meditation (breath-focused) and Kriya Yoga pranayama Add therapeutic practices such as shamanic breathwork, TRE (Trauma Release Exercises), and self-therapy journaling to work through unresolved trauma and issues from the past few years Continue weight loss and exercise — likely reaching target weight by the end of Phase 2 Continue reading and studying Allow masturbation at most once per week after the first 90 days, since more than that negatively affects my life Phases 3 and 4 I can’t say much about these yet. I imagine strengthening spiritual practices, making them more focused and prioritized, socializing more, and possibly starting to date — though dating may be too distracting at the moment, and I don't want it honestly since I've recently got out of a LTR. Phases 4+ Getting involved with psychedelics More socializing More dating experience Starting to work on additional income streams aside from my job Working on creative projects Traveling Meeting new people Exciting things — but first, the foundation. That’s the plan. I won’t plan further than this because planning is a trap for me. Planning gives me a false sense of accomplishment, but it isn’t real progress. Real accomplishment comes from daily execution — day in and day out. It’s that simple. I’ll update every Saturday. 52 updates total. Let’s see how far I go. See you next week.

@WonderSeeker Yes of course, I also see having children as huge grown opportunity, if done right, and that's a huge if. Yes sure, realistically you can't go deep in spirituality or relationships for that matter, if your health is not in order, same with money, if you're struggling to pay rent each month and barely getting by, it will affect the relationships and so on. Yes, having children and family can be considered as one of those growth chapters, but I don't think that is for me. It doesn't excite me when I think about it, there are many other things that excites me as a vision that I'm working towards, but not children. I'm not sure why that is that way, it has always been like that for my conscious adult life and I'm not sure what could change it.

@Lyubov So he shouldn't wash his dirty plate after dinner if he is the only provider financially?

Yeah I wish my parents instilled more healthy habits in me, I had to do that on my own later in life after 20 years old. But many guys don't and they get a wife, and all the things that mothers did for them (cook, clean, laundry, etc), now expect from a wife. That's pathetic.

I think having children is a deeply personal choise that depends on so many things. If you are struggling in life, having kids will make it even worse I think. If you have abundance in resources, it's easier choise to make, Elon Musk has like 14 children or something. But I'm leaning more towards agreeing with @Eskilon I like solitude, I don't like children much, I love my alone time and the possibilities that it creates. I think adding a family / child would disrupt that. Of course you might argue that adding a huge responsibility can put more pressure on you to develop yourself. That's right, it can. But you might want to spend days in solitude contemplating, figuring stuff out, etc, that you might not be able to do with a child, or at least do in a limited way. You could also take responsibility in some other ways. Of course child will give you meaning, but there are other ways to derive meaning out of life, isn't it? As for spirituality, I think you guys are talking from the point after you have some realizations, then rasing a child becomes an expression of something you've realized (love, god, etc). But what if you're confused as hell, you're struggling to keep up with the practices because you don't see much progress, you're dabbling with psychedelics to figure out stuff, you don't have much realizations to understand what's all these really about, in other words, you are a spiritual noob but want to progress on the path and grok the nature of yourself, and boom --- you have a child. Do you think that child will help with the spiritual aspirations? I have 2-3 friends around with new born babies (0-12 month olds) and their life is filled with job + raising a child, nothing else, they have no time / energy to engage in other things.

Sounds like a slavery with extra steps 😂

Does he have children?

I've done it many times and I haven't experience much discomfort even when I do it for 1-2 hours straight. You can maybe look into some Kundalini symptoms, maybe it's related to that, an energetic thing. But it also can be a physiological. Can't you increase very slowly? +30 seconds or +1 minute per sesson, maybe you've to just get used to the feeling?

Such a good boy

Here's my puppy, sad and tired after a surgery 🐶🦴

@Leo Gura Got it, thanks.

Do you think that's realistic goal without psychedelics for someone who's not genetically gifted spirituality-wise? Do you believe that yoga and meditation can get you there realistically? Or it just depends the way you do those, and intention. I imagine one can waste years in practices but don't go anywhere. But as I think about it, this can be taken as practice by itself. But without direct experience of the nature of consciousness, it can turn into bullshiting onself and self-deception, can't it? So, first getting clear about consciousness and the follows all that contemplation.

@SimpleGuy Are you familiar with tech industry? There are many possible roles that you can train for and then try to apply for jobs. Currently programming jobs are scarce, but there are other roles like devops engineer, in IT infrastructure, QA engineer, roles in project management, etc. Just look for roles that might not be as overcrowded such as software developers or designers.

What are your criteria for a world-class man?

This dude had a beautiful wife and kid. Just sayin. If you want something out of life, hatch out a plan, and go execute, until you fail so much that in the process you figure out solutions and get what you want. @Never_give_up Read your usename again

@SimpleGuy I'm not an expert at yoga, but I think gym (lifting / cardio) is better. I mean, why are you even considering switching from gym to kriya for health benefits? I don't think kriya is designed to improve body health in ways that working out does.

How can you expect to get "enlightened" from listening to videos? You really don't see the value in these teachings?

@ZeldaStar Me too, I'm going through all the episodes. They are very lengthy though, but very thoroughly researched. Good stuff.

@Natasha Tori Maru Nice, that's some creative way of using AI for sure, kudos Oh really? That sucks. I assume your job involves lots and lots of communicating, and that comes with the burden of dealing with egos for sure. I think people in general don't like to be questioned, but especially in corporate environments, where their salary is at stake, it's more of a threat survival-wise. But any leadership / managerial role will require WHY questions to get shit done. Yeah, in other words soft skills, which many people suck at, because "soft skills" basically get developed when you introspect, self-reflect and all the good stuff we love here 😆 It doesn't come naturally, and that's why it's hard to relate to coworkers sometimes, at least for me. Yeah, I think people are sensitive to punctuation as well, never mind words.