bazera

3 years ago: Now: Lol In 3 years we'll have a full feature Balenciaga movie on this channel probably.

@Leo Gura Have you considered stopping teaching in the last 10 years because of this? If so, what was the reason that you didn't do it?

@LordFall Just saw it. I need to go get my pet and cigar for photos Jokes aside, yeah it's just irresponsible to not care about all those points shared in the video if you want some success in online dating. Weight loss, grooming, clean and sharp dressing, showing an adventurous lifestyle (cigars, pets, travel, etc), proper posing are all great and would help in any form of dating attempts. But my point was that there are features that are simply unattractive for most people, things you just can't change with a proper pose or holding a cigar, and that's a reality you have to live with and work with whatever you've got.

Why is there such a need in the first place? I guess it's a part of building deeper intimacy with another person.

What would you change if you still had some time? I'm just asking because that was also the issue for me and just want to know your perspective on it. What I'd do is, as you said, share more of my struggles and inner processes more honestly, not hide anything out of shame, and in general be more open with her on my intentions and inner turmoils. That's isn't easy to do for someone who doesn't feel a need to share all that. But that's exactly why it comes off as avoidence. Because it probably it. Avoidance of vulnerability. Maybe it was different for you, I don't know.

That's a curse to being a man You look for straight-forward solutions that can be applied on problems. But of course reality isn't that straight-forward and most of the times there are not step-by-step instructions that can be applied to problems. It's much more fluid. That's the best way, building a proper environmnent and set of circumstances that then allow emotional expression to naturally arise. Since it can't be forced, all you can do is try to minimize the blocks and see where that takes you. Again, it's a whole process that needs emotional investing and thought. Especially if both partners aren't that good at expressing emotions, it all quickly turns into a mess if none of them things about these things explicitly. But it's an interesting process, as you said, it's like a separate domain of consciousness work. Of course it comes together in a big picture with all the other stuff you're doing, but it also can be tackled separately. Yup

@VioletFlame Sorry to hear that. Loss of loved one is one of the most painful experiences that one can go through, but also a great opportunity to derive important lessens on life such as impermanence, roles of attachment and loss, etc. It all plays out in real-time. Stay strong 🙏🏻 I lost a father 2 years ago, he was quite young for an unexpected death, and I wasn't able to tell / show him my love the way I wanted. I'm sure your nana already knows that, but if you still have a week to be with her, talk and listen to what she has to say, that's a great opportunity to give much love for her future journey as she goes. Is she able to listen and talk?

@Oppositionless When you say you are able to locate the I after 3 months, what exactly do you mean? It just arises itself after doing the exercises, or you have that intention to locate the I while doing the practices? I'm asking because I also re-started my Kriya practice in last 1-2 weeks and would like to hear your perspective since you've had some progress.

Yes it's a very nuanced topic, lots of variables. I'm like that, and I felt I had a bit of a pressure to over-share emotions when I was in a recent relationship, when naturally I'd not do it. I don't know if that's wrong or not. Wrong in the sense that it requires some work to be fixed. I'm still trying to figure that out, some somatic practices help me with that, connect with my emotions more and observe why isn't there a need to share more of it. There can be shame, guilt, etc, that might be getting in the way. Of course you have to have an ability to feel and name your emotions, to then be able to share them. I observe most guys are not good at doing that. They are more in their minds then in bodies, where emotions reside. What helped me was journaling as well, just sharing my emotions with myself, not to a woman. It's a whole aspect of a self-discovery journey for me, to actually trigger pent-up emotions somehow to the surface (or daily more subtle emotions), and integrate them, seeing what they're up to. It's interesting because a huge part of experience is dictated by those. But still, even after doing a lot of emotional work, it doesn't mean that my personality will change drastically from somewhat stoic one to someone who just shares and is always open emotionally. I just want to figure out if anything is blocking the process, that's all. I think that's valuable, most guys will really appreciate that. That then creates more space for a man to open up emotionally and be more vulnurable. If a woman is just focused on herself and doesn't care about what I'm going through, there's something wrong with a relationship. I think in a healthy relationship both parties should care about each other needs and try to integrate and merge their own life priorities with their partner's ones, while also being able to stay independent. It's a tricky balance. That's why I feel like I'm not suitable for LTR at the moment because I'm way too focused on myself due to some pressing issues that I feel I need to fix. It's won't always be that way, comes as a phase from time to time.

[5/30] ✅ Sleep shedule 11-12 => 6-7 is still intact. Still trying to figure out a healthy way of handling sexual cravings while single. One thing is clear, porn or any other substitute detrimental. So that much is clear. Did meditation and yoga, still feel no progress but it's literally been couple days since I started so, no expectations. I've to continue this path for 6-12 months. I'm working towards 45-60m meditation sessions and 30-60m yogic sessions. Studied for 45m, I'm learning how to use Claude Code more efficiently, doing a course on it. Read for an hour. Caloric deficit and weight loss goes really well, already down to ~2kg. This is also 6-7 month journey so I need to get comfortable with the current routine, it will be like this for months to come. So, to summerize, everything goes relatively well, considering on where I was a month ago, in a total mess. Gradually all the things that I struggle now will get fixed, not all at one. I'll continue document my thoughts and processes here. Today's goals: Meditation, yoga, study, reading, caloric deficit, exercise, as usual. Doing TRE, breathwork. Starting (over again) no-porn or external stimulation counter from day 1/90 Good luck!

I think if you've watched a lot of Leo, contemplated a lot on your own, and even had Awakenings, you could skip the not knowing one. But still, it's full of juicy insights, so I'd spend some time going through it anyways. I find that Ralston is one of those individuals that whatever he produces publicly, I never regret consuming it over and over again. The book of not knowing is really good, I have read it 2 times and I'm sure if I read it 2 more times, I'll find more and more value in it. His books try to fascilitate contemplation, it's a very slow and contemplative read. You can't just skim through it, it feels like work when you read it.

@Oppositionless How is routine like? You do just pranayamas or the whole routine from J.C. Stevens book?

What about from a man who closed up or was a bit too stoic by default? There's a fine line between being needy vs non-needy when opening emotionally with a woman, as a man. I remember one time opening up during a difficult conversation, talking about my emotions and my intentions a bit more emotionally than I was used to, and she perceived that as neediness and was repelled. So I think timing matters a lot. Do you also feel like the need to have a supportive role in a relationship? What if you feel a man doesn't require much of a support and is more like a self-sufficient type, is that a turn-off?

And what did you do, did you change your ways? That's exactly what my former girlfriend also asked me, and I was a bit confused because in my mind I was being vulnerable and emotional, but it turned she needed more, as you said she needed a supportive role. And frankly, I didn't need much support. How can you pretend that you need more emotional support when you don't?

Lol