bazera

Yeah that already starts a relationship on a very unhealthy base, with those kinds of conditions. It's hard enough to change yourself, let alone change a (unwilling) partner. But I've seen a cool before after photos of couples on reddit who both lost substantial weight for example, and seemed happy, but that's another case. Those matches were not built on such conditions.

@Miguel1 Can't sexy nerd become a sexy witch under your guidance? Have you considered an openminded girl who isn't much into spiritual stuff but you introduce her into it? Won't that work to some degree? Of course she has to have the openness for that and be interested in deeper aspects of reality than just pure material goals, and I think that's what you're referring to as being rare.

And what if she refuses? Also, do those guys lie girls initially that they are attracted to them? How does that even work?

https://www.attachmentproject.com/love/shrekking/ Take that, you looksmaxxers. Lol

@integral Yeah that makes more sense than just binary intro vs extro. But I think most people have incline toward focusing more on internal vs external worlds, but that might be caused with all sorts of variables that those types might not account for. It's a tricky topic, surely it's possible to limit oneself with identifiying with one or the other your whole life, but for me, introversion descriptions resonate more with my personality and lifestyle than extroversion at the moment.

Yup, and that question can only be answered in solitude and reflection, not with other people. People can't tell you an answer to that question, maybe they can give directions, but responsibility it on self. That's why it's important for introverts, extroverts and ambiverts to spend time in solitude and reflection, and ask questions like that. But I think that reflective tendencies also come as some personality type or something (not depended on extroversion/introversion), as a separate variable, because I have some friends who don't give a shit about anything remotely similar to asking those kinds of questions, doesn't matter introvert or extrovert. And they sometimes try to ridicule me when I ask them to reflect on their life.

Oh, I'm also INFJ, done that test multiple times throughout years and doesn't change much I guess 😅 They say it's the rarest personality type 😎 Don't know if that's a good thing though, lol.

Like, 50/50 introvert extrovert? Not even 60/40? I also have extrovesion side but the main indicator that I differenciate those and the reason I identify myself as an introvert is that I get drained and tired with socialization easily and I crave alone time. But I don't crave much socialization when I'm in solutude, maybe rarely. It's either introversion or some trauma and fear of going out, lol. But I don't really have a fear (I had in the past which solved with lots of socializing), so that has left me with just introversion. Also, it's a phase thing, I had a more social phase, and I will gladly have those again in the future. It's important to distinguish fear vs introversion, many introverts are just inexperienced and lack social skills and justify those fears with the idea of introversion.

I like how they have a seperate trailer for the cover, lol. It will be so funny if the game doesn't turn out to be that good, after all the years of anticipation.

Yes, I think you should definitely experiment with that, if that doesn't work, just brainstorm some other ways of how you'd imagine the best way of expressing yourself would be, and do that, until something clicks. You'll learn so much in the proccess. I've also experimented with some things, and I've understood that I get the most meaning from life when I'm mostly solitary. But maybe that's just an introvert comfort zone, because I also enjoy socializing, being humorous and outgoing, but I don't really crave for it, at least at this stage of my life. And as I reflect on my past, I never really did, it was always something I needed to do in my mind, to accomplish some goal like meeting new girls, dating, etc. But it wasn't the goal itself. As for the solitary lifestyle, I worked deliberately for this, because that was a huge priority for me, living alone and working remotely on a flexible schedule, to be specific. It was crucial for my mental health (plus a very modest social friends circle that we get together from time to time, that's also important for me). So as for you, I think you also need some testing and experimenting of how your extroversion would translate into a lifestyle that aligns with your values. It's more of an existential issue, I think if you choose to follow that advice, you'll need to go all the way to the metaphysical layer, outside of the social. That's not easy to do, you probably have a lot of room for growth there. Check Peter Ralston's latest 2 books, he talks about how to be complete with yourself just being, that can be a starting point but it takes a lot of practice to actually embody that. I also struggle with it.

Like what?

Finland is part of Nato, right? I guess that protects you guys to some degree. I live in Georgia, it's below Russia and having Russia as one of the neighnours have been the worst thing that has happened to this country in the last 250 years or so. Annexed multiple times, dragged into USSR, and god knows when they will start a new war. Anyways, a bit offtopic. Yes every day I try to fill my day with activities that answers Yes to those questions, but I also realize that the path is very dynamic and things change over time, but not daily, rather monthly. But commiting to stuff for 6-12 months has been working so far. At the moment I'm socializing less, I'm an extreme introvert unlike you, so it's very easy for me to basically not have any in person contact with other humans for weeks straight and just focus on my goals and work. The goals comprise mostly health, fitness, consciousness practices, skill-building practices in software development, lots of reading / audio-books, contemplation of my life and my patterns in general, that's about it. Pretty boring from the outside, but an essential part of my progress towards whatever I envision for myself long-term. After this phase, there will come a phase of maintaining all that I build now, adding more socializing, travel, relationships. All that next year. As for your struggles, I hope you'll find some resolution to it. I dated a spiritual girl who also got a lot of trauma, but was green-yellowish, but that also became boring after a while (years), so I'm kinda dissilusioned now, I don't even know if I want to date a girl like that, but I didn't have much more experience outside of her, so maybe for me the issue is just a lack of experience. But at the moment I'm very content with me being alone, having partner would disrupt my routines since I have a limited free time to work on other areas. Also, you mentioned you wanted to do more spiritual work, maybe the answer lies in that? Maybe you do another round of hardcore practices or even psychedelics and find our the root reasons of these? Or you think that aspect of your psyche can't change? Do you want it to change at all? I mean, being okay with being alone. Anyways, good luck with finding a right partner.

I don't think the average person is like Netwon. He wasn't probably complaining about it. I suspect it's much bigger issue for OP then it was for Isaac.

So those girls are all aware that they are in some kind of a "rotation". If that works for them, fine. My point was that I don't think many girls will be okay with that, especially once they become your wife. But hey, I haven't had that experience, nor ever had a wife, so it's hard to say. That's just very unusual around me as I look at people that I know in my life.

@Mayonnaise But how will that main wife be okay with you having other girlfriends? Would you be okay if she had other boyfriends?