bazera

Yeah for me 21 was like yesterday, time flies like crazy. Aging happens much quicker than you'd expect. My 20s went really fast. Make sure you use it well.

Non-addicts often underestimate how hard it is to break addicitons. It's a very humbling experience when you yourself get addicted to some unhealthy substance / behavior, then trying quitting and finding out that you can't. Then you deside to take much more responsibility for it, and sooner or later (often much later) you overcome it. But the lesson stays for the lifetime.

Good ol Ralston about a similar topic. It's also true for me that if life get's too comfortable, I get complacent, and confrontation with myself is often times uncomfortable. But there is no way around it in order to proceed. What I'd add is that being comfortable in one area of life helps dealing with challanges (and being uncomfortable) with other areas. For example being comfortable financially helps with so many other things. Should we always be uncomfortable about our finances and always challenge and grow financially with no-end? I'd argue against that. Challenges come in phases, and the ones you've already overcome make dealing with new ones more hopeful and realistic. That's the fun of it.

Any skill that you want to build will be challenging at first, that challenge becomes more tolerable over time, but you still need to keep it at least slightly challenging than what you're used to, to keep progressing, if the progress and growth is what you're interested in. Same for dealing with trauma and psychological issues. Most endeavours that we value and most things that we want to acquire and don't currently have will need some kind of a discipline to get. Repeated exposure is often key to actually see some results in whatever you're practicing, piano, meditaiton or conscious relationships, or whatever. But I don't like the demonization of comfort either. Why is comfort bad? That's a good question. "Being outside of a comfort zone" became one of those conformist self-help cliches that people just parrot. Maybe depending where you are in life, more comfort is what you need. It's all so personal and intimate, I don't like these templates that people sugget for "growing yourself". The advice applies to more obvious things like if you want to lose weight, and are lazy, yeah, you'll need to choose gym over comfort of your bed each time.

This was hard to watch 😂

@SimpleGuy Great, do whatever works for you. But also try exploring other kinds of fulfillments outside of achieving your goals. Also notice that when you achieve a goal, it's fullfilling for a short period of time and then it becomes kinda meh, you get used to it. It doesn't stick. I also work on some goals but in the back of my mind I'm also looking for ways of more lasting fullfilment that life can offer.

I view external abundance positively. Learning to be more authentic requires experience first, exposing onself to opportunities of being authentic vs inauthentic. That's what abundance provides, but yeah, you need a correct mindset and meta understanding that this is what you're doing, making distinctions of honesty vs dishonesty in direct experience. Pursuing external abundance without any meta vision and just for it's own sake, just as an animal, yeah, that can become problematic and a nest for insecurities.

The whole issue and difficulty with being vulnerable is that you might lose the person you want to be with. There might be things that you say to her that will repel her (or him) and she'll leave. Or at least that's the fear that's causing the resistance to being vulnerable in the first place. I don't think that fear is irrational. I think there can be some things that you can say in a relationship that will kill the intimacy and trust. Now the question is, if you want to maintain integrity, truth and honesty, are you willing to potentially end your relationship? Because sometimes honesty might endanger the survival of two person being together. It doesn't have to always be the case of such severity, that truth ends relationship, but often it can. I think that's where maturity comes in, if the other person also values truth, it can be more realistic to speak of scenarios like that without much damage. But again, valuing truth doesn't mean that trust will be maintained or vulnerability won't cause issues. It's a double edged sword. It's hard to be intimate without vulnerability, but truth can also end your relationships.

Power of Now. "Being here and now". This phrase is being thrown around all the time, especially in new age circles. Even one of local banks in my country has a slogan "here and now".

I think any type of a business will require thinking about technical stuff. Also, you could potentially earn lots of money with projects like that (if it genuinely solves people's problems somehow), and then you won't be needing to work as much as you work today, and you'll have more time to appreciate life for it's own sake. But earning lots of money with webapps is much harder than it sounds. For me as well sometimes, but it earns me a paycheck. Then I get to do things and build a lifestyle that I wouldn't be able to do without that paycheck. So it's a tradeoff. Not permanent tough, at some point I'll also think of ways to escape that paycheck slavery, but not right now, due to having other priorities.

Are being confident, charismatic, humorous and those kinds of traits more important? But being confident is much easier when you know you look good. Good looks is like a cheat-code to feel good about yourself, and that plays major role in making others feel about you the same way.

What I don't understand with this is that people go to therapy for years, for decades in some cases. Isn't therapy supposed to be helping with particular issue that should be resolved after X number of sessions? I used therapy for some issue that I needed help with, and was done with 5 or 6 sessions.

Yeah, especially since I became a meat proxy between Claude Code and app I tend to do what when I'm doing stuff just for their own sake. For example, playing with my dog, or spending time with my family, with no drama. Also, just driving alone in nature, just for it's own sake, with no destination, gets me into a contemplative mood. Thinking of my death also helps me appreciate life more. Sounds, shapes, forms, emotions, feelings, interactions won't last forever, I'm experiencing them temporarily and then some day it will be over.

I agree. Self-improvement also kinda became a conformist movement, people don't think about it, just follow the given advice, so if looksmaxxing is trendy, that's that they will call self-improvement. I don't think many people reflect on the idea of self-improvement at all, like what is one trying to accomplish with it. Most times the "self-improvement" steps you need is unique and requires personal investigation of ego and patters. It's not like you only need gym and sharp jawline and you're good to go, lol.