bazera

Yeah, a huge part of the work of becoming more conscious involves accepting selfishness, I also struggle with it and I'm almost certain this struggle will intensify tenfold once I have some Awakenings and try to integrate the insights into relative world. Still, without such consciousness, even with selfishness, sometimes when I dwell on my own, how selfish I was in intimate relationships, with my family, friends, etc, and how robotic and automatic life becomes from time to time with all the addictions and survival stuff, it sickens me, but I also try to see the reasonings behind it, the intelligence that was behind it. Even addiction is a very intelligence mechanism, just to observe how it completely absorbs you to keep you surviving the only way it knows, not to mention the mechanism behind the selfishness itself as a whole, it's so complex and interesting, but at the same time obstructive if one is trying to transcend it or change life circumstances to allow more trutful living. I agree with this, people even remotely interested in these topics are very rare. For me personally, I've lost one partner that was like that, I was grieving for months because I thought I'd never find someone like her, so aligned with my value, it was really tough, but I had to accept that fact in the end. I think I did. Even if I don't find anyone like her, I think I'm okay. But hey, we're still young so life is full of surprices you know, never say never. Yeah after a while that will get real boring. Something has to be rekindeling connection. Maybe she needed more time to open up and go deeper with you? Or maybe she needed introductions to certain topics that she'd find interest in? I don't know, trying to see the situation from her perspective as well.

Exactly, I've met many of them on different occasions, it's almost always more annoying than normies. They lack philosophical depth. I'm not saying that I've maxxed out that depth myself but at least I'm aware some of the epistemic traps out there. Yeah that must be challenging, I can't relate to that because as I said I can basically go weeks without direct human interaction and be just fine. Covid lockdown was the happiest period of my life. I could just be with myself all the time. Anyways, good luck brother hope you'll find some resolution to your problem soon enough, I think you're on the right track.

Yeah, no thanks lol, I'd rather be single than act like I care about stuff that I don't really care about. Life is more peaceful like that Same for me, if I go to a serious consciousness retreat, I'm not there to look for a date. But there are some lighter, more green-ish yoga / meditation wellness retreats, that focus more on relaxation than a hardcore metaphysical enquiry. But again, the types of women you find there, you've probably already have encountered many of them already, so. Nothing new. It's a tricky situation to be in.

Why not, she will tell you about manifestation, chakras, healing crystals, past lives and types of souls Yeah I get it, without proper epistemic base and questioning, all that becomes unbearable after some point. It would be very annoying for me as well to listen to all the unquestioned new-age stuff all the time. But I'd like to believe that not all girls are like that on retreats / spiritual workshops.

You don't even need 3, I have just one like that and it's enough for me I also had a girlfriend like that and I kind of exhausted that need, at least for the moment. But I also get Miguel's point of view, it would be hard for me as well to not be able to talk with my partner on deeper topics, even outside of spirituality. There are so many aspects of reality that can be had deep fulfilling conversations on. But for me, it might be weird but I don't care about that much anymore, in the past I did care about that a lot, but after I got it for couple years, meh. It didn't fulfill me ultimately, so it was another dead-end. I'll experiment with it in the future some more, it will be a better experience since I'll also be much more mature than the previous time.

Imagining a meaningful vision for my life, planning it out over days / weeks / months / years (roughly) and then daily execution towards them, with course-correcting along the way depending on how things unfold. This give an overarching meaning to my life. Oh, and playing with my mom's puppy just brightens my life. She's always so excited to see me.

Only one way to find out I guess, you'll understand that in a while after finding someone like that. I'm guessing you have already interacted with lots of women in your field, in dancing, right? No matches like that? I knew a girl who loved dancing Tango, and she was very feminine and full of youthful energy, also interested in yoga and meditation, haven't had a chance to have a deeper conversations but I'm guessing she would be into it. But dancing is also a generic thing that doesn't really map out to deeper interesets. So it's hard to filter with that as well.

@Miguel1 Yeah, all fair points. The sad part is that it's hard enough to meet a conscious individual in general, who is really interested in things you seek, a man or a woman, let alone a sexy woman plus all that. And there's other types of compatibilities that need to be matched for long-term relationship to work. If you had to compromise on some qualities in a woman, what would you be willing to compromise on?

Yeah that already starts a relationship on a very unhealthy base, with those kinds of conditions. It's hard enough to change yourself, let alone change a (unwilling) partner. But I've seen a cool before after photos of couples on reddit who both lost substantial weight for example, and seemed happy, but that's another case. Those matches were not built on such conditions.

@Miguel1 Can't sexy nerd become a sexy witch under your guidance? Have you considered an openminded girl who isn't much into spiritual stuff but you introduce her into it? Won't that work to some degree? Of course she has to have the openness for that and be interested in deeper aspects of reality than just pure material goals, and I think that's what you're referring to as being rare.

And what if she refuses? Also, do those guys lie girls initially that they are attracted to them? How does that even work?

https://www.attachmentproject.com/love/shrekking/ Take that, you looksmaxxers. Lol

@integral Yeah that makes more sense than just binary intro vs extro. But I think most people have incline toward focusing more on internal vs external worlds, but that might be caused with all sorts of variables that those types might not account for. It's a tricky topic, surely it's possible to limit oneself with identifiying with one or the other your whole life, but for me, introversion descriptions resonate more with my personality and lifestyle than extroversion at the moment.

Yup, and that question can only be answered in solitude and reflection, not with other people. People can't tell you an answer to that question, maybe they can give directions, but responsibility it on self. That's why it's important for introverts, extroverts and ambiverts to spend time in solitude and reflection, and ask questions like that. But I think that reflective tendencies also come as some personality type or something (not depended on extroversion/introversion), as a separate variable, because I have some friends who don't give a shit about anything remotely similar to asking those kinds of questions, doesn't matter introvert or extrovert. And they sometimes try to ridicule me when I ask them to reflect on their life.

Oh, I'm also INFJ, done that test multiple times throughout years and doesn't change much I guess 😅 They say it's the rarest personality type 😎 Don't know if that's a good thing though, lol.