bazera

Yes it's a very nuanced topic, lots of variables. I'm like that, and I felt I had a bit of a pressure to over-share emotions when I was in a recent relationship, when naturally I'd not do it. I don't know if that's wrong or not. Wrong in the sense that it requires some work to be fixed. I'm still trying to figure that out, some somatic practices help me with that, connect with my emotions more and observe why isn't there a need to share more of it. There can be shame, guilt, etc, that might be getting in the way. Of course you have to have an ability to feel and name your emotions, to then be able to share them. I observe most guys are not good at doing that. They are more in their minds then in bodies, where emotions reside. What helped me was journaling as well, just sharing my emotions with myself, not to a woman. It's a whole aspect of a self-discovery journey for me, to actually trigger pent-up emotions somehow to the surface (or daily more subtle emotions), and integrate them, seeing what they're up to. It's interesting because a huge part of experience is dictated by those. But still, even after doing a lot of emotional work, it doesn't mean that my personality will change drastically from somewhat stoic one to someone who just shares and is always open emotionally. I just want to figure out if anything is blocking the process, that's all. I think that's valuable, most guys will really appreciate that. That then creates more space for a man to open up emotionally and be more vulnurable. If a woman is just focused on herself and doesn't care about what I'm going through, there's something wrong with a relationship. I think in a healthy relationship both parties should care about each other needs and try to integrate and merge their own life priorities with their partner's ones, while also being able to stay independent. It's a tricky balance. That's why I feel like I'm not suitable for LTR at the moment because I'm way too focused on myself due to some pressing issues that I feel I need to fix. It's won't always be that way, comes as a phase from time to time.

[5/30] ✅ Sleep shedule 11-12 => 6-7 is still intact. Still trying to figure out a healthy way of handling sexual cravings while single. One thing is clear, porn or any other substitute detrimental. So that much is clear. Did meditation and yoga, still feel no progress but it's literally been couple days since I started so, no expectations. I've to continue this path for 6-12 months. I'm working towards 45-60m meditation sessions and 30-60m yogic sessions. Studied for 45m, I'm learning how to use Claude Code more efficiently, doing a course on it. Read for an hour. Caloric deficit and weight loss goes really well, already down to ~2kg. This is also 6-7 month journey so I need to get comfortable with the current routine, it will be like this for months to come. So, to summerize, everything goes relatively well, considering on where I was a month ago, in a total mess. Gradually all the things that I struggle now will get fixed, not all at one. I'll continue document my thoughts and processes here. Today's goals: Meditation, yoga, study, reading, caloric deficit, exercise, as usual. Doing TRE, breathwork. Starting (over again) no-porn or external stimulation counter from day 1/90 Good luck!

I think if you've watched a lot of Leo, contemplated a lot on your own, and even had Awakenings, you could skip the not knowing one. But still, it's full of juicy insights, so I'd spend some time going through it anyways. I find that Ralston is one of those individuals that whatever he produces publicly, I never regret consuming it over and over again. The book of not knowing is really good, I have read it 2 times and I'm sure if I read it 2 more times, I'll find more and more value in it. His books try to fascilitate contemplation, it's a very slow and contemplative read. You can't just skim through it, it feels like work when you read it.

@Oppositionless How is routine like? You do just pranayamas or the whole routine from J.C. Stevens book?

What about from a man who closed up or was a bit too stoic by default? There's a fine line between being needy vs non-needy when opening emotionally with a woman, as a man. I remember one time opening up during a difficult conversation, talking about my emotions and my intentions a bit more emotionally than I was used to, and she perceived that as neediness and was repelled. So I think timing matters a lot. Do you also feel like the need to have a supportive role in a relationship? What if you feel a man doesn't require much of a support and is more like a self-sufficient type, is that a turn-off?

And what did you do, did you change your ways? That's exactly what my former girlfriend also asked me, and I was a bit confused because in my mind I was being vulnerable and emotional, but it turned she needed more, as you said she needed a supportive role. And frankly, I didn't need much support. How can you pretend that you need more emotional support when you don't?

Lol

Don't you guys use some local package forwarding companies? I live in Georgia (Eastern Europe) and I ordered the book on US Amazon, it does't ship directly but through a middle company. I'll get it in 1.5 weeks. Shipping cost after Amazon is $8 for each KG, so not that much.

That's why I don't take him seriously anymore. Maybe I should, but I just can't by into the bullshit hype. Time will tell.

My ex was complaining that I wasn't emotional enough and wasn't sharing my emotions to the degree she wanted. I think if you feel a need to do it, you should, not out of some requirenment that you read somewhere, or just because girls asks you to. Just be genuine, and see where that takes you. Of couse if you act like a cry baby, complaining, whining and being emotional daily to her, that might become a turn off. Find a masculine ground if you are leaning more into it, but also find ways to integrate the feminine. Being vulnurable and emotional from time to time can be okay and deepen intimacy I think.

I just saw it, looks promising. Do you get any value out of that community? Are there valuable discussions?

Who, Elon?

@LordFall No I'm not into dating apps, but I don't think that's true. So you could take photos of an unattractive (looks) guy and make him more attractive? How?

As he said, the ending suffering book was initially part of this new book, but he seperated it because it was getting too much, and made it into a separate book. He's been working on that for 10 years.

Yea, somebody should email Bryan's posts to Brandon so they are aware

[4/30] ✅ I relapsed again, but I realized it's not a good idea to fight this thing the way I do it. I'll change a strategy, since I have a very high sex drive, I just can't completely cut that out of my life, I'll remove any external stimulation (videos, photos, etc), I'll just make a practice out of it, couple times a month to get to know my own body and feelings better. The addiction part comes from external stimulation, so I'll track that, that's unhealthy for me, not the release part. Sleep: 11:00 => 06:30 (oh man, I feel such a releif that this routine if finally locked in, struggled so much because of it) What I did: 20m meditation 6m pranayamas 45m reading Push workout 45m Caloric deficit What I didn't do: Study => Still, I had lots of work to do, and was too tired in the evening, and was working in the morning too. So, a summary: I'm working with meditative practices in baby steps, I should not judge the progress for at least 6 months, I just gotta show up every day and follow the practice instruction as best as I can. So far so good. Weight loss and exercise are locked in, I'm tracking progress with a coach and I won't derail here anymore, in 6 months I'll achieve my weight loss goal and then I'll switch to maintenance calories, and continue exercising (with more intensity) I read daily, I have tens of books to read so that's crucial. This habit is locked in. Sleep schedule is fixed and locked in. I'll be working on a healthy sexuality habits, that is the main focus now, I want to stop doing it compulsively and out of an addiction, and switch to a more healthy version, because complete abstinense didn't work (at least now, I'll try again in 1-2 months when the healthier habit is in place) I need to put more focus into allocating time for study / personal projects. Work eats up all time and energy from the day, so it will be wise to do this in the morning. But morning is for practices / working out, I have to squeeze that as well somehow. Okay, now the most important thing is to not relapse anymore, and just continue my habits as best as I can.

Can't wait to read this, he's such a gem. I hope he lives a long time to come, he looks very good for 76 years old.

@glassfire Okay, got it. When I first heared of lucid dreaming and started reality checks, I got lucid very easily. I think the excitement part plays a big role, it also goes with you when you sleep. Once it became mechanical, it stopped working. Yeah I've had those, and woke up with frustration that I was so stupid not to realize that it was actually a dream, when the content of the dream was about lucid dreaming.

@integral Thanks, I'll look into this more. So I guess the key thing here is doing sports/gym with awareness right? I go to gym but most of the times I just follow the motions without body awareness, but from time to time if I direct my awareness to the muscle group I'm working at, exercise actually feels to be more effective.

He said couple years ago that the age of self-driving cars being everywhere was just around the corner. Well, when was the last time you saw a self-driving car on the streets. I don't believe anything he says.

How could these induce a lucid dream? Did this actually work for you?

Leo is on fire lately 😅 Hard to keep up with all the blog posts. I went into Soft White Underbelly channel rabbit-hole, watched tens of interviews, it's really a goldmine. Good stuff. Just finished this one. Jesus, it's really eye opening the shit some people go through in their childhood into their adulthood. What I like about these inteviews is on the one hand you get first hand perspective on some crazy stories, and also it makes you reflect on your life more. This helps me look outside my bubble a bit.

@VioletFlame Hey, your story is very inspiring, thanks for sharing 💙🙏🏻 I'll ask you couple things, since you have a massive experience in dealing with trauma. I wasn't so explicitly traumatized in the childhood, but I sense that I have some behavioral tendencies for example towards some addictions, or for isolation, for emotional avoidance, not expressing myself fully, etc. Some of those might be rooted in some experiences that I had, but I can't fully connect the dots. In your experience, after all those practices you list above, did you also connect some dots that you weren't aware of, or were all your trauma and hardships linked to that major experience of abuse you had from your brother? This year I started working on some theraputic practices. Going to therapy didn't work, it was a waste of time for me, I did couple holotropic breathwork sessions and I plan to continue weekly and now I'm learning TRE (Trauma Release Exercises), also I'm gaining some momentum in my meditation and yogic practice. I'll dive deeper and deeper as months go by, hopefully some things will pop up and I'll understand reasonings behind my own structures better. Lastly, how do you think, if you didn't experience the abuse you describe, how would your life unfold? What would you do differently? In what ways would you be different than you are now? Btw you sing really well, just watched your TikToks. It's great that you've found your creative outlet after the things you went through. Good luck with your studies 🙌

Depends on the app.