bazera

Yes you are right, it's not always for coping for something for sure. But as you get used to it, the chances are high that once you feel uncomfortable with something, you just get triggered for that dopamine hit to get lost in fantasy and get pleasure for some time. Same with cigarettes I guess. I'm not a smoker, never have been, but my friends who smoke tell me that initially they started because it was just fun, but eventually as they got used to nicotine, when they had some difficulties in life, the smoking soothed the emotions and made them calmer, and they were super agitated without it. I find same to be true for porn consumption as well.

Of course you use porn to cope with something, doesn't matter what, it's a coping mechanism that you get used to after years of using it. Some people get addicted, some don't. Those who do, struggle a lot and experience some very wierd issues that over-consumption is causing. It will be harmful based on how much you use it. Eating a doritos once a month will not be harmful, eating it 3 times a day might kill someone.

@jacknine119 Yeah that doesn't feel right. My sister had about the same problem, she was over-focused on a possibility of losing her health which actually made her life much worse. In the end she dug through her traumas and healed some of those. It was related to childhood experiences mostly. Have you considered that?

Jesus. That's what chronic lying leads to. I've done it in some other contexts, it leads to all kinds of perversions like that. But what I don't understand is, what's the point? I guess they get their other needs met through that partner, if a partner is a provider type of a character. And those women just ignore their dissatisfaction with sex life over other goods that husband / partner provides. I don't see any other reason of lying to that extent.

Yeah it's what's literally happening, isn't it? 😂 Every passed day brings us closer to death. But it seems you worry about not having enough time / health to accomplish things you want, isn't it? I think that's a valid concern to have. But being a taxi driver for some time before you figure out what is some higher passions you have is okay. Do you also work on figuring that out?

@manuel bon Thanks. When my dad passed away, all I wanted was being alone in silence. Of course I wasn't able to, only in the evenings, but I just needed silence, no compassion of others, no words, just alone time with my thoughts and contemplating what all that meant and observing all the crazy reactions that my body was going through.

He should ask ChatGPT Isn't that like responsibility of both parties? I mean, I think it's somewhat obvious when girl isn't satisfied with sex or fakes it, those kinds of lies creep out of bedroom as well. By man's responsibility, I mean communication, if he is communicating his needs and ask for hers, and just cares that everyone is satisfied in the act, that should be solved. At least now the knowing will be on the sufrace and what they do with it is their business. If that's the case, and a man cares enough, he'll intuitively notice that something is off. But I guess we're talking about couples that don't care much.

Yup, but the good news is, all of that is still reversible if you just get off from it, somehow, either with pure willpower, or just wising up and telling to yourself that this is destroying your life. But that's not as easy as it sounds. You know it's very destructive, but you still do it. That's the irresponsible part, but it's engrained for so long that the animal part of you just does it's thing on autopilot most of the times. It takes effort to fix this, and keep it fixed for life. I wish more people spoke up about the dangers. Again, some people manage to use it here and there without issues. Some people destroy their lives with it. It's the same with junk food or any other addiction. In the end it the issue of not respecting life and yourself to a degree, but even if you know all this, and you're deep into it for 10-15 years, it won't be solved overnight. The conditioned part doesn't understand that it's irresponsible, it just does whatever it did for years.

Yes it can become real bad. Especially if you've been addicted since your teenage years and you've been doing it for 10-15 years, man, good luck. Proper intimacy becomes impossible, feminine perceptions get skewd, masculine confidence get trashed, and you become like this junkie who lives for that dopamine hits daily, that then causes gult & shame loops, which then again is dealth with the same dopamine hits because you are so used to escape hard and negative emotions with porn, your organism has learned that it's the way to go, it has worked for 10 years so it expects the same release. It's a vicious cycle really. And I think people who say porn is okay, just somehow avoided this trap, or were responsible enough to not get addicted. But that's a minority. Most guys aren't like that.

It's addictive nature makes it bad for most guys / relationships. For me it's problematic, it's really easy do get addicted and then you jump through all the addiction hoops that wastes time, energy, etc. Also the whole industry is very shady and unconscious.

This was very nostalgic to watch. I loved Spider-Man in childhood, also watched animated series, had many action figures, etc. And I was very hyped as adult when I saw all 3 of them I'm not in Marvel or other superhero movies (The Boys is awesome though ) but spidy has this nostalgic effect on me that doesn't let me skipping.

What are keep struggling with exactly? You tend to procrastinate? You don't have a proper vision of a project? Or what?

Lol

@CARDOZZO Oh man you're hyping me up Not at all, I love to be challenged to my limits. Great.

Yeah he mentioned he wanted to pour all out before he died, so I guess this is that. Nice, I'm going through it as well, he suggested starting from Chapter 18 so I'm finishing that first.

Jesus, I thought I would buy one of his e-course, but they are too expensive, can't afford one at the moment. Do any of you guys have done his e-course maybe? Is it worth the price?

Is it that different from his previous books?

Have you attended them?

That's easy, try this one:

@eTorro Yeah as other guys pointed out, you lack practice. Couple years ago, I was offered a job as a lecturer for some technical subject because I was doing my job well. I was afraid because I lacked communication skills, or so I thought. It turned out it was pure lack of practice issue, first couple lectures were rough, and then I realized the more prepared I was to talk about a subject, the better my communication of it was. As you get better and better, you get more confident and your speech gets clearer because you yourself realize through trial and error points that you need to work on to improve. So, I'd advice to seek out leadership / teaching roles and just strive to improve at your job, and you'll get better. Trust in the process. If that's too much of a hastle for you, you can also do that solo by yourself, via writting and in front of camera. You tell us, what's stopping you?

@AION It's less convenient but you could read from Amazon Kindle app on your phone. I'm reading on my leptop from https://read.amazon.com/

I know this guy makes good money doing just that.

Yeah I know, he likes to joke about meditating on babbling brooks in his podcasts.

His method is meditating near babbling brooks

https://www.actualized.org/insights/how-pickup-lines-work I also do this intuitively, not only with girls but in general, it comes off as natural and the best ones aren't pre-planned, it's always the ones that are just coming out of me when I'm in a good mood and a fun state of mind. I like to compare it to jazz sometimes. It's spontanious. The ones that are spontanious always get the most positive reactions. You also intuit when to say what, and don't think it through. One difficulity I have though is with language. My first language isn't English, so I think / speak 99% in my primary language, and I find that all this intuitive spontanious humor / wittiness / cleverness is tied in how intuitive for you is the language you use. So I'm mostly able to do that in my native language, because otherwise it comes a bit to mechanical if it's too custom and sounds cringy. Not the easy ones like "thats what she said", thats a low hanging fruit I need to level up my language skills