bazera

Haha what 😆 I remember when I was a kid our local zoo brought a kangoroo and the whole population was rushing there to see it. I didn't know that you could actually it eat, lol. @Natasha Tori Maru What does it taste like?

@Leo Gura Real, but over-exaggerated. Dude got some botox or did some face plastic surgery.

Its been a relatively good day Things I did successfully I'm fixing my schedule, so I got up at 6:45 with 4 hours of sleep, and now its 22:00, preparing to get to sleep so tomorrow I naturally get up early, and must resist urge to nap again, and all is goof No addiction relapses Read 1.5 hours. I read multiple books at once, today I was reading Yeonmi Park's "In Order to Live" and Ralston's old book called "Reflections of Being". Very insightful. Ate 1900 calories with 160g protein Did leg exercises, but I have a knee pain on both of my knees probably because of a sitting pose on my office chair, for months I have one leg bent in a knee and put under the second leg, which is probably the reason of the pain. I'll skip leg exercises till I feel better. Ill focus more on upper body. Run for 12 minutes. Oh god, I'm out of shape, 6 months ago I was running 17-18km without break, now I'm dying at 2km. Such a shame. I've to build up my endurence again, slowly. Walked 6000 steps Cleaned house and orginized working environment Cooked and prepared food for tomorrow What I wanted to do and didn't do: Meditation and Kriya. I'm skipping days again out of pure laziness. I've to get used to doing these first thing in the morning. Haven't done career study, also laziness and procrastination on this front. Those to are very important to me so I'll have to put more effort or figure out why am I resisting this much. Main lessons for today: I have to do meditation and kriya first thing in the morning, at least in this stage when I'm trying to build a consistent habit. Super important. Take care of my knees, I've to fix my sitting posture and observe if pain goes away or not. Tomorrow: I'll wake up at 6:45 and do the practices first thing in the morning Then run for 20-30 minutes Then study for an hour Try to work without procrastination and have a productive day Good luck to me.

Master Debaters 😂 Leo's been watching South Park

@theleelajoker For sure. Too much "solo" can be masking fears of intimacy, connection and relationships in general, and missing growth opportunitues. Currently I'm 5 months post a breakup of a 4 year old relationship, and I'm trying to recalibrate my experience from "we" to "me", and trying to resolve some of the attachment issues and some of the problematic ways that I was behaving during those years. That's why I was emphasizing a solo work.

@vibv He's friends with Eckhart Tolle and was talking about no-self with an interviewer couple years ago. Maybe he's somewhere up in the Himalayas meditationg while the clone does Hollywood stuff.

Looks good for 64 year old dude to me https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-15575871/What-face-Rosie-Huntington-Whiteley-looks-puffy-Vogue-Australia-event-prompting-wave-online-debate.html Same for this transformers girl here, I wonder how much shit they inject in their faces to look younger.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0756683/ This movie amazed me lately. With literally zero action and with just couple people talking in the room, it got me captivated for the whole duration.

Nice. That's also what I'm working towards, still in infancy stages but still 🙈 What kept you going daily initially, when you didn't have much results to go with? You just did it over and over again until your senses got developed more and more? Some people told me that it was psychedelic experinces that gave them motivation to practice deeper.

@Natasha Tori Maru Do you practice Yoga? It's literally a practice of manipulating a sexual energy (supposedly), and if you already have high concentration ability with meditation, it would translate into Yoga breathwork nicely.

https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Grit-Spirituality-Healing-Killam/dp/1570627428 Oh you guys should check this out, it's a beautiful love story between two conscious individuals, it's Ken Wilber's couple years of journey with his wife who was suffering with cancer at the end and died unfortunately. It's tragic but a beautiful story of love. Podcasters should talk about shit like this, but I guess it wont generate much views.

@theleelajoker There wasn't even such thing as "dating" for most of human history. I was just listening to Yeonmi Park, North Korean defector, and when she was growing up, there wasn't a concept of "dating" there, even the word love was only preserved for their dictators. Who knows how the this dating thing morphed and got modernized as we have now in the west. Oh and in the past there wasn't video game and porn addiction and living 24/7 in the mom's basement eating cheetos thing 😆 So people socialized by default.

@Natasha Tori Maru For sure, it's so easy to fall into some kind of a dating advice "pill" mindset (via YT, insta, tiktok, you name it) without even recognizing what you're doing, self-deception 101. It's the same problem that we have with anything else, people don't think for themselves, they outsource the biggest decisions of their lives to some YouTube podcasters without even thinking twice, or researching alternative worldviews, because it's much more easy to subscribe to whatever dating advice sounds reasonable at some point in one's life, then to realize that you don't know shit and you have to field test everything, and I mean everything. I have made that mistake so many times, believing shit online and then in real life it was 180 degrees oposite of that. Not all advice is like that, but many are. It's so much healthier to promote ways of moving into secure attachment, but it doesn't sound sexy to young people, you know 😆 The reason I mentioned Ralston here is that it's interesting to me how conscious (much much more conscious then me) people handle intimate relationships. But maybe he's so detached that his experience won't be relateble from my point of view. As I said, development can't be faked and you have to go with whatever you've got in the moment, while working on improving your ways. right partner is a keyword here, because I don't see much couples thinking about dissolving barriers, most are defending their on barriers. Hell, even I wasn't doing that, when I knew better. It was hard, but at the same time it was growth opportunity, which I missed unfortunately. What I concluded from that experience was that first I need to figure out myself and life solo, at least to some degree, to be able to then show up as a dancer in a relationship who can more or less go with the flow of her femininity and dance with her. In that relationship I was like a noob dancer you know, who just doesn't understand when to move his feet, and fucks up the session, and if the other partner isn't a good dancer either, well, it just doesn't work out. I don't just mean figuring out metaphysics, I mean more personal stuff, needs, wants, boundries, reflecting on self-deceptions, loving myself to the point that I live an integrous life. Developing love for life. That can be done solo. Relationship can enrich all that and make it deeper, potentially. Yes it takes a more effort. Not effort per se, more initiative I'd say. In a relationship you're forced to look at your own shit like it or not. When single, you must have some kind of a practice / procedure of self-reflection to fascilitate that kind of "mirror".

@theleelajoker Yeah man I don't know, when it comes to Ralston I kinda hesitate to assume stuff. He's like an alien lol. Speaking for myself, that seems impossible. I hope I'm wrong and somehow there's a possibility out there that I could genuinely satisfy my own needs in that regard but I don't have a desire to pursue that exclusively. If it happens after lots of spiritual and purification work, it would be a nice benefit. I think something like that just comes after a very deep grasp of metaphysics. Can't say. I think this is the video I've heard it from. Maybe I misinterpreted it.

@theleelajoker 😆 I don't read much around this section, maybe I should more, just to add a bit more drama to my day lol. 😂😂 It's all your ladies fault that we're stuck to the same attachment patterns. There you go, now we fit in.

The need for more epistemic repsonsibility is apparent today more then ever with the advent of AI. All of us have a chatbot in our pockets that answers literally any question. I think sooner or later people won't be able to tie a shoelace without first asking ChatGPT. Personally, this technology benefits me a lot, but when it comes to epistemology, I think it has a potential to rotten my mind, make it lazy and essentially irresponsible.

Rough week. But better then last week. What made it rough is two things: Couple relapses on the addiction Messed up sleep schedule, basically I was awake at night and asleep during the day which messed up everything As a result I ate slight surpus on calories, only exercised 1-2 times, didn't have much performance at work, just barely did the tasks. I've been stuck at Phase 1 for this long because of the similar pattern for the last couple months, maybe even years. I need to somehow take charge and responsibility over my life more and more. I can't move into higher creativity, deeper spirituality and understanding if I keep myself stuck on this level. And the feeling eats me from inside when I think of how much time I wasted and how I might waste much more. The mind is always focused on removing addictions and losing weight and all that shit that can be resolved in couple months and I'm dragging them for years, which is simply irresponsible. Couple insights from this week: Dopamine addiction and sleep irregularity are the 2 killers for me. If I fix these, all else will be 10x easier Clean and organized environment is super critical, I have to put extra effort every evening so that I wake up in an organized environment that makes it easy to follow my routines with less friction When I invest in myself day after day, it all build up after weeks and months, and it's much less likely that I relapse or derail in any way. So the main focus is on investing and building up over period of many weeks. Cravings for junk food doesn't come from hunger, it comes from aggitated and anxious mind. Cravings for addictions mostly come late at night, and during unorganized time periods. "an idle mind is the devil's workshop" as they say. The planning trap. When I fail, I go back to a drawing board and plan again, which gives me a sense of accomplishment. This is an illusion. The plan is simple, it doesn't need re-planning on every relapse. I just have to eliminate root causes or understand them deeply without changing outside routines. All worthwhile things in life require investment over many months. Nothing great has been built with inconsistency and lazyness ever. Everything we value and consume was a product of consistent effort over time. I need to put in more effort. Sometimes I'm working on autopilot and trusting my habitual patterns. No, I need to put more thought and effort to actually accomplish some things. For me to fix sleep schedule, I have to say no to naps at least for some period of time. No naps + consistent sleep schedule from 11pm-7am, that's it. If that's met 90% of the times, it won't be issue any more. I have the perfect environment, job situation, finances, infrastructure and everything that I need to accomplish what I feel I need to do in 6-12 months. There is no excuse left that's not dealth with. So it's 100% on me now. I'll be posting here daily for the whole March, it will help me keep myself accountable daily. I'll be exercising 6 times in a row (cardio or weights) and 1 day rest 2000 calories at most with 150-160g protein 20m daily meditation, and 12 pranayamas (I'll be building up to more in the weeks to come) 1.5h reading and studying daily And just staying mindfull all day of the fact that none of the things will get done if I don't keep myself more responsible and I'll be stuck at the same place for years and then I'll just die. That will be a huge waste, so, let's not waste life.

Isn't Jonathan Blow creator of Braid? I loved that game. Playing it was like consuming an art-work when I was a kid. Beautiful theme song as well.

Some things that I've been thinking about this week: If I don't take more responsibility over my actions, patterns of behaviors, ways of showing up, daily routines, and daily habits, nothing I want out of life will be available for me. Most of the stuff I worry today will not matter at my deathbed. If I don't grasp the big picture well, I keep getting lost in minutia. The most important things in life happen on structural level. In every situation, I should be more interested in figuring out the structure and big picture, and then derive conclusions from there. Health and putting effort in a lifestyle that allows free time for contemplative practices for days and for weeks sometimes, is critical to have a possibility of a deep understanding of everything. It's hard to care about nature of stuff when you're sick all the time or when you're in survival pressure cooker 24/7

Haven't thoughts about that distinction, but as I think of it, it's always a melody for me as well, to the point that when I want to find some new things to listen to and I'm not sayisfied with results, I always add "melodic" keyword in search to try to filter non-melodic tunes. But there must be a rhythm to. I don't like when it's all over the place without some pattern when I'm listening. It's always certain balance of rhythm / melody that my ears find fascinating. Sometimes when I try to dance to a tune, it's the rythm that gets me going, but all the emotions are coming from the melodic part.

@Oppositionless Yes same for me. It's been much more fun to code like 10 years ago then it's now. The job turned into reviewing code that claude models generate and sometimes debugging manually because llm can't do it. But it is what it is, we've to somehow adjust and fit the new standard. Gotta keep that paycheck coming. My sister also wanted to learn coding but she lost all motivation and since there are no more junior developer jobs, I can't blame her. But if we don't have juniors, how are we gonna have more seniors after some years go by?

@Human Mint Doesn't it get boring eating the same thing every day? It does for me, that's why I try to have something different on the weekends.

@Tistepiste Yes for sure, same for me, I have a huge productivity boost, I hated doing boilerplace stuff, and now I'm excited to build my own projects in weeks instead of months. And it's huge when it comes to learning and understanding. It's so much easier now.

@Oppositionless So you gave up on the idea of buidling a career around web dev?

@Rishabh R Have you tried dating girls from your social circle? The people who already know you at least know your friends. That's a bit easier in my experience. Of course it's limited since there's only so many people that can know you personally and you might not be attracted to any of those. But still.