bazera

@kuwaynej No, I am just looking for the ideas how not to be as attached to other people's opinions and how to feel comfortable in my own body without needing other people to say something nice about it. Even though I intellectually and logically understand how silly is this kind of thinking, but emotionally I can't control it. I am not even aware of it happening most of the times. But it does happen in most cases, because I feel anxious, depressed, etc.

@pluto To really appreciate that, I think I have to have at least one awakening experience. Without that, I just don't understand what you are saying on an emotional level. Even if I contemplate for some time about my existence in this reality, and some insights come up, I forget that stuff when It's most necessary to be remembered. When I am in the middle of thinking how others perceive me. Thanks for your ideas though @Nahm I tried affirmations for 2 months couple of months ago, but by that time I didn't have that many social interactions, so I thought the issue was fixed. But now, I changed my lifestyle a bit and the more interactions I have with other people, the more I become aware how I suffer for no actual reason Just because I assume lots of things about reality. And the worst part of this is that I can't control it. The best thing that can happen is to become aware in the middle of doing it. But that doesn't happen in most cases. Most of the times I stay unconscious. @kuwaynej Thanks, I'll look into Self-Hypnosis. As for the mindfulness, I meditate everyday for couple of months now, but most of the times I am not aware how I cause my suffering. I remember later, when the anxiety and tension goes and I am alone with myself.

I drew a friend of mine last year, with her favourite painting in the background

Hey guys, So I was reading the Bible and this part confused me a bit. Matthew 10:34-36 "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household." What do you think he meant by saying this? If we think of him as an enlightened master...

I think this is the one.

I experience that too, and because of that I've watched Leo's Meditation for Beginners video like 10 times In the video, he said that you can't control that. The only thing to control here is the habit, and doing that 20 or how many minutes you're doing. The other thing he said, is that we should count every session as a proper meditation. So, if I am sitting in my chair for 20 minutes with the intention of being more aware, and thinking about sex all the time, should I count that as a proper session? And the answer is yes (if we believe Leo ) So yeah, I've also started my meditation from July, and 95% of the sessions was just a monkey mind. But you should also think about optimizing your sessions. For example, try to meditate at times when you are most alert and awake. Also, don't eat too much before the session. If you feel sleepy, take a nap and meditate afterward, etc.

I've never had a romantic relationship but when I do, how can I differentiate those two? How can I know that I love the person and not my projection of her?

You are getting better and better man Keep it up! Thanks for those ideas.

I don't really know. That's what I'm asking. Projections may change every time. Isn't there something unchangeable in true love?

Block Facebook.com on your PC as well as on your smartphone with antivirus software or with browser extension or with something like that and use Messenger.com for chatting with your friends

I wonder when does @Leo Gura publish this interview and if he has made other ones with different people.

Where in the video did Leo say that he isn't making projections himself?

Exactly! Same here

Does this guy claim to be enlightened?

Leo's videos must be watched from the beginning to the end, or else you'll have all sorts of misinterpretations. If you decide to watch like 15 minutes of 1 hour long video (like Raily did in that video), you should not watch it at all if you ask me.

Hey, To all the programmers of actualized.org forum I am about to start my 3rd year at university, studying computer science. But I am confused right now. I kind of know that I will understand everything as time goes but I would like to hear some advice from experienced developers if there are any on this forum. I understand that programming and coding are two different things: Programmers come up with algorithms, that can be written in pseudocode, not necessary in any particular programming language. And coders are people who translate algorithms into all sorts of programming languages and working applications. That's my understanding. Now, I also think that being a programmer requires a lot more than being a coder, like coming up with abstract functions and so on. When I entered university, I didn't know much about programming, and I didn't know that there was any difference between a coder and a programmer. Now, what confuses me is the following: I am struggling with coming up with algorithms and solving programming problems. I want to develop my skills in algorithms and problem solving, because, as a future programmer, I think that I will be doing that my whole life, but right now, I am not good at it. Do you know any ways to develop my problem-solving skills? Is it enough to find websites like HackerRank and try to solve something every day for the next couple of months or something like that? Do you know any particular way that I can be better at coming up with complex algorithms? And generally, what are your thoughts about becoming a better programmer?

Hey, As I understand, We don't know how Jesus got enlightened. But I am interested, does Christianity have many enlightened fathers, who reached the state of "Jesus"? If it does, then how did they reach enlightenment? Can a man use the bible to reach the highest state of awareness? So, those Saints that we know of today, were most of them enlightened? I am interested if any of them mean the state of no self when they talk about the God.

Thanks a lot for those resources

Yes, I see that all around me. What about materialistic desires? Or sexual desires? There are people in my country (I haven't been elsewhere) who see the God as an "alien" sitting in the heaven somewhere behind the universe or something. They try as hard as they can to obey the rules (and there are so so so many of them) while there can be something totally different that's the core of religions. They don't sit down and question who they are and why do they believe in whatever they believe in and so on... I can't speak from their perspective, but as I see in myself, it backfires me when I repress my feeling and desires. And those priests are like me I guess. Doesn't repressing their feelings and needs cause problems in their lives? I have these questions because everyone around me is trying to obey these religious rules, while nothing changes in reality. I am trying not to fell in that trap, and answers to some of those questions would probably help me.

Leo, do you enjoy watching sports? Generally, what are your thoughts on sports?

@Leo Gura What do you think are the essential habits to install? Other than meditation.

Hey, I've just became aware of the fact that sometimes I feel better than other people. I have noticed that sometimes when I look at people, internal dialogue takes place, according to which: I know more things than him/her, I meditate every day and he/she doesn't even know what meditation is and is good for. I read books about psychology and am trying to practice mindfulness, when he/she doesn't even know that such kind of thing is possible. and so on and on... I am aware how toxic that kind of thinking is. Also, I have just begun this "journey", I didn't even know what meditation was 4 months ago, but that doesn't change anything for my ego. I really want to get rid of this kind of thinking, can you share some insights or techniques or something alike? Or should I trust the idea that awareness alone is curative, and just try to be aware whenever those thoughts arise? (will be quite difficult though)

@Falk Yeah man, I understand, thanks

Thanks a lot guys for your responses! @Christian Thank you for reminding me of that video, I've watched it couple of weeks ago and I've forgotten about it. That technique will really come in handy at times when I'm aware of my unwanted thoughts and feelings, thanks @Piotr Yup, you've noticed correctly, I am blaming my self. When I am aware of the thought or the feeling that "I am better than him/her", than I think something like: "What the fuck man, how can you be ... you shouldn't feel this way ... you may destroy your relationships that way ..", and so on. Actually I've practiced meditation for the last 2 months, 4 months is the period that I've known that meditation can be useful for regular people other than monks and yes, before I've started it, I was completely unaware of my feelings and thoughts. I still am actually, but I do notice some of them on rare occasions, like this one. I've never noticed that I felt like better than someone else until I started meditation. I always did felt that way of course, but I was always identifying with it, and was feeling frustrated because I couldn't stand when I felt that somebody else was better than me. And it's like a defense mechanism as you say, it was something like: "Oh he is better than me? oh okay, than I am better than him, him, him and her, oh and him". Just like a child would behave No, feeling better than somebody else is not a painful experience, it's satisfying in a bad way I guess. It's a huge trap. The painful experience is when I feel that he/she does something better than me. I know intellectually how silly and childish is this, and that I have to compare myself only to myself, and that there are so many people out there and it is obvious that there are houndreds of people that are better then me and so on and on. But as you know, knowing is on thing and actually experiencing and "being" is another. So, in spite of knowing that, I still literally have a pain somewhere in my body when I feel that somebody is better in a field that I think I am quite good at. This is reality, and I can't deny it. The only think I can do is try to find a solution I guess Yup, I will continue my meditation, and see where will it lead me. Thanks. @Salaam Yes you are right, ultimately I want to change my automatic emotional patterns. You can't know awareness right? The only way of "knowing" is being aware. When I feel the feeling, or catch the unwanted thought, that catching and observing process is awareness to me. Thanks for your insights @Saarah Hm, I really haven't thought about that. You are right.. So awareness really is a cure for almost everything I guess I will try to be more aware when this kind of thing happens again, and continue meditation in order to help myself to be more aware. Thanks a lot.