bazera

Hey guys, What do you think, when you are in a relationship as a man, how much emotional support would you expect from a woman? When your girlfriend tells you that she won't be there for you and she won't be able to think about you when she is uncomfortable, and always wants to be comfortable with you, is that a red flag or not? And also, what do you think a guy should expect from a healthy relationship? If you ask me, both women and men should be interested in well being of each other, and investing their time and resources and emotions towards trying to do that. And if one or the other refuses to do that, it becomes problematic if you ask me. And in general, what do you think is the essence of a healthy relationship? What should a guy do and what should a woman do to accomplish that?

@modmyth Actually the question wasn't coming from my personal relationship. I got interested in what you guys thought of that issue after my friend discussed his problems with me. A more general question that I wanted to know your opinion on was how healthy is it if a man is more emotionally available in a relationship then a woman. And how does it seem from your perspective when a woman explicitly tells his partner that she won't be there for him. (I don't think that she actually meant that though) Do women tend to speak such things when they are upset and emotional, but actually don't mean what they speak of?

How would you deal with huge negative emotions that come with losing someone you loved? If a person very close to you unexpectedly died, what is it that you would try to do in that situation. What would you tell a person who lost someone very precious in order to help him to cope with the emotions? How would you relate to a person who is starting to lose hope to live a life in general, because of his loss? And what are your opinions about death in general? What would you say to a person who just lost someone he loved? Lost of questions... But I'd appreciate your opinions very much.

Thanks, guys @Artsu How do you know that?

@Meta-Man Thanks!

@Roy What I think she meant is that as usual, she should let you know what she is up to. Not 100% of course. It will become problematic that way. It should probably be organic and natural.

@Preety_India Actually, it's not the case with me, my friend has some issues regarding his relationship, so I asked for advice after thinking about his case. Yeah, what you describe would probably be the perfect girlfriend lol So, you think that women should also take responsibility for building a healthy relationship. After all, if both of them don't take that responsibility, what is the point of being in a relationship anyway...

@Kross Dude, you will laugh at this after couple of years. Start building real-life practical habits and skills. You are still so young, please don't waste your time in whining about your grades. Nobody will care about them in real life!!!

@Leo Gura I also thought that making her feel safe by leading her and supporting her emotionally was one of the main things in a relationship. If it't not, then what is? And what is the main difference between attracting girls and keeping a loving relationship?

@Leo Gura Thanks, Leo. Your responses don't leave a room for bitching and moaning about this shit Training, practice, learning, and most importantly our own trial and error process seems to be the solution. As in any field for that matter.

@Leo Gura Lots of guys are insecure about their looks, including me to some degree, what do you think is the role of physical appearance in attraction? I mean, if you take care of basic hygiene, groom yourself, aren't overweight (not like a bodybuilder or anything) and don't smell like shit, of course, Other then that, you don't have much control over it. It isn't a trainable skill. I guess all the other things you talk about will help with this problem. Like for example, if you at least once in your life detach and disidentify with your body, you will not care as much as you did before the experience, I guess...

@Leo Gura Yeah. And one more question, every time I decide to go to that direction and learn more about attraction and girls practically, I tend to stop and postpone because I think that I'm just not good enough and if I fixed this thing here and that thing there, then I will be ready to go and do it. I kinda know that thinking that way will just be a never-ending loop. Problems will always be here (relatively speaking). Is the solution to just do it? I also think it's helpful to not have some crippling life-problems before doing it, like for example 0$ on a bank account.

@Leo Gura What do you think about being 24-25 years old guy with zero relationships or attraction experience? Does it tend to become harder to solve that issue as you grow old? Do you think that it's a piece of a puzzle that needs to be solved like for example till you get 30 years old?

Hey, I've been meditating for 20 minutes every day for some time now, and I am curious about how hardcore is meditating for 10 days straight? Will it be sustainable for people like me? How long should my daily practice be, in order to be prepared for something like meditating for 10 days? If you've been to one of those retreats, I'd like to know your experience.

Thanks for the advice guys! @Nak Khid I haven't decided to go yet. I will be attending a retreat next year I think. Or not, depending on how my daily practice will go and how long will my sittings be.

@Leo Gura What is the value of meditation then? If we seek understanding, why should we sit and meditate for hours when we can just take a psychedelic? At this point, what do you think is the main reason for doing meditation?

@Leo Gura Can you explain what is the difference between those two? If it's possible of course.

@Leo Gura In your latest video, you said that we, humans, called God death. So, how is shooting myself different from naturally dying, in regards to God-realization? Death is death, right?

@Leo Gura When I do this, I feel that I'm doing something wrong. As if I'm just manipulating other people to engage in relationship with me by telling the stories and stuff about myself. But I also know, that's not what it's like from their perspective. But I feel kinda guilty and dirty inside, when I talk about myself. It's like subcounsiously I think of it as an egotistical behaviour that I don't want to do. I guess it's a self-esteem issue. What would you advice for fixing that kind of attitude? Just being mindful whenever I catch myself feeling that way?

@Girzo Yeah, I agree with this point a lot. 1-on-1 conversations with people are actually okay, but still, if it's with a stranger, it comes with anxiety and discomfort. But hey, everything is uncomfortable when we haven't got any experience, so it's just a matter of practice. @mandyjw That's actually a pretty good idea Thanks

@Leo Gura What should you talk about in those kinds of situations in general? I understand that it should be a dynamic and spontanious, so we can't be defining things to talk about beforehand, but still... Is it possible to conquer fear of socializing through brute force way? Like going out and socializing a lot with strangers everywhere, without thinking too much about what you say or do, as long as you don't do something really stupid. That kind of thing seems so hard when you are introverted type of a guy and even a little small talk with a stranger feels too much.

@rlc Yeah, I've read some NDE reports, it seems a very fascinating phenomenon. And yeah, I agree with you, just becoming aware of our fears is so hard, not to mention conquering them. But hey, what better things do we have to do anyways. I think of it like eating an elephant, bit by bit, month by month and year by year.

@Leo Gura So, basically, fear is the mechanism which limits us? And if we get rid of fear 100%, we will die and become unlimited? So, fear is just a God's way to fool itself in order to experience itself in a limited way?

@Leo Gura What about hell? Can one "go" to hell after death? I mean an actual place, like they describe in Bible or something.

@Leo Gura Have you tried 1 hour or 1h+ of shamanic breathing yourself? What effects do you get after it? And how do the 30-minute sessions differ from 1hour? I've read Stan Groff's book about Holotropic Breathing and he doesn't recommend doing long sessions without a sitter. Why is that?