Cuzzo

been letting the locks flow on my side of the universe

All you have is first person perspective so you will never really know.

1. Make your intentions clear 2. Do your own thing if she isn't interested. Any kind of 'friend zone' is simply you going out of your way for a girl with hopes of something more. If she isn't into you she isn't into you. And if you make sure to focus on you and what is best for you, then she might just fall for you. But that should never be your intention.

I guess to start this off...I understand the situation and what I need to push forward and move on, but I am still bothered by this situation... I was trying to figure out how to word this without it being a long story. I basically fell for a girl at my job. She would always try to seduce me, but she had a boyfriend so she would end up just playing with me. Then I started to date a new girl and she didn't like that...so she started a bunch of drama with me. This led to a huge fallout, I ended up overreacting to a snide comment she made due to all the stress being built up between us. I told her she needs to stop fucking with me. It was getting to a point where it was affecting my work. So our manager talked to us both and asked us to smooth things over. Ole girl started crying...then quit the next day. I saw her once since then, our cars passed each other...and she flicked me off. I sent her a text saying "I'm sorry" in an attempt to smooth it out between us. She replies "Lol its too late for sorry". So I simply say ok and leave it be...and she continues to be nasty saying "It's sad when a 23 year old man makes an 18 year old girl cry for no reason". So thing is...I know shes young and dumb. I know that I wasn't this monster she made me out to be, I just got fed up with her BS and told her to cut it out. I know that the whole situation is stupid and the fact that she quit was what needed to happen. Her leaving has actually increased my work performance and I am getting a raise soon. But despite all that...I still miss her, or at least her good side. I go to work and the sadness about the whole situation makes me miss the past before it got so complicated. And the thing is...I'm not letting it hold me back. I ultimately know things will be ok and I am not letting this prevent me from dating other girls. And even if she called me saying she loves me and wants to be with me...I don't think it would be the right decision to be with her because I cant trust her. So I understand the reality of the situation and accept it...yet in a way I still miss...I guess this idea of her. I miss the connection that we had before things became so complicated. I miss the passion I felt with her. These emotions simmer down when I am away from work, but at work I feel them a lot. Why is this? I know she isnt right for me. But I am still sad...I feel like I shouldnt be.

I felt like more of a "weirdo" when I was more unconscious. The best version of myself couldn't shine through as much. I'm not enlightened, but my spiritual work has made people naturally gravitate towards me more.

Yeah sometimes I feel compelled to discuss these things with people who aren't as familiar with it, but I end up not feeling fully comfortable with the conversation. It does feel egoistical, even if my intentions were to share it for their benefit. Deep down I felt like I was doing it to flex my spiritual muscles. They obviously wouldn't understand it fully without taking the journey themselves. The one person I feel comfortable discussing it with is my Mom. And that can sometimes go into an egotistical direction too.

I mean honestly man I see where you are coming from, but I believe that there is a healthier way to approach this. Sure if all you are doing with your life is trying to fuck as many girls as possible then you're wasting your time. I agree. But I don't think that doesn't mean cold approaching isn't important to learn. I remember I tried this approach program, and it is basically going out and approaching women for the purpose of putting yourself out there, and not for a date/sex. I remember the very first drill was to ask five women for the time, and it was shocking to me that I had anxiety to just do that. I became aware of how much more I needed to work on just putting myself out there in general. So in conclusion, I am glad that I chose to work on this aspect of my life, because it made me an overall more confident person in all aspects of my life. I am not out here being an RSD goofy and trying to fuck ten girls in a week or something like that. But if I see a girl I like then I can talk to her.

I agree that a lot of posters on this forum have turned enlightenment into a concept.

I completely understand where you're coming from. One of my family members is going through a mid life renaissance in a way. I agree that this was a great learning experience! It gave me a chance to be mindful.

Yeah man I apologize for coming at you sideways, even if I did it as respectfully as possible. I am really working on my self discipline right now as well as doing my best to "throw myself in the fire" as Leo puts it to really grow. I am already in a mindset where I expect the best for myself and I projected it on to you. I wish you the best on your journey friend.

I read your post thoroughly. It isn't my intention to condemn you, as I said more power to you for your realizations. The reason I am so skeptical is because these "major breakthroughs" to the highest level of consciousness are not common. I'm talking one day your ego is super swollen and then the next day IM ENLIGHTENED! I am not saying it isn't possible. But I see the more common way of reaching it is through a long rigorous journey. I am in my early twenties. I have a lot of growing to do and quite a journey before I can say I have reached the truth. You're what, in your forties? So yeah, maybe by some chance you acquired enough experience to reach this stage. And if so congrats. But honestly, from my perspective I don't really see it happening. Eckart Tolle was a special case. So for someone to be egotistical one day then to make a leap many of levels above their original level of consciousness in such a short span of time sounds like an ego story. I will never know obviously. It is your perspective. And like I said before maybe you are enlightened, or maybe your ego is tricking you. I know I have reach higher levels of consciousness thinking it was the end goal when it wasn't. At the end of the day you claim to be at peace and more happy, and for that I am happy. But from my view, it seems like an ego trick. And thats how I feel. But no disrespect.

You aren't trying to brag or convince anyone, yet you felt the need to post about it lol.

Hey man power to you for making new realizations. But to be quite honest I find it incredibly humorous that the man who made his forum name 8languagestud coincidentally hit the highest level of consciousness not too long after... Excuse me for judging you, but I am truly skeptical. I'm not calling you a liar, because you probably really do believe you're enlightened. But hey maybe I'm wrong!

I honestly don't think this idea is worth entertaining at all. But whatever makes you happy.

The only thing I really don't mind cooking in bulk is pasta. I don't cook in bulk because I feel like the microwave take a lot of the nutrients.

I love you for stirring things up on this forum even if I dont agree with all of your points. It makes life and perspective fun and interesting

I'm no guru, and have yet to experience truth consciously, but for some reason I have my serious doubts about enlightened masters who take advantage of their followers sexually. I don't claim that they should abstain from sex all together...but crossing that line of temptation and taking advantage of someone who looks to you as a guide just doesn't seem very enlightened to me. Call me crazy. I could honestly understand and sympathize any other flaw in an enlightened master from drug use to materialism. But sexual temptation...idk man

This lady friend of mine was causing me a lot of drama tonight. Normally women are able to get the best of me emotionally (even if they don't know it). But for the first time when I was irked, I felt the emotions and thoughts pass over me as a sensation. Almost like water. I felt like the awareness being aware of all the sensations for a few seconds instead of becoming my thoughts and emotions. It was a great ten seconds!

For a long time, I'd confuse the two a lot. I'd find myself being really needy over one particular woman or feel bad if my dating/sex life wasn't where I wanted it to be. So I'd try to shut off a need for love and sex at all. I found this hard to do and would always feel conflicted. It wasn't until I realized that I needed to stop being a bitch and put myself there more that I realized the difference between the two.

To be quite honest, the whole process of seeking was really getting me nowhere. I would be unhappy about something, and say to myself "Ok I am not the mind or the thoughts. All of these problems are actually meaningless...so why do I feel sad/angry/unhappy?" I couldn't seem to make that transition from getting caught up in my thoughts and emotions. All of the breaking down and analyzing was mental masturbation (as Leo puts it). It wasn't until I watched a video linked on here. I can't remember his name, but he said to simply love yourself despite however you're feeling. Accept yourself as you are and love yourself. And for some reason, that clicked with me. I was no longer trying to separate myself from anything. I was accepting reality for what it was, and loved myself unconditionally. For so long, I would tell myself "I shouldn't be so attached to money, I shouldn't be so caught up over this girl, I shouldn't waste my time doing stupid things". But now that I learned to love myself unconditionally, I can work to improve these things in myself without investing my happiness into them. Don't get me wrong, I am very very very far from whatever truth their is, but that video really helped me make a bit of a paradigm shift, even if it was just a small one. My handle on situations in general has vastly improved. There are times where it can be hard to love myself. To love and accept the one thats sad, thats angry, thats unsatisfied. But letting that love in and knowing that it SHOULD be unconditional is an amazing feeling.

I still enjoy them. I have friends who live far away from me and we have an awesome time laughing and playing League of Legends. I know for a fact that I spend more time doing things in real life. It's also hard for me to stare at my screen for very long. So excessive gaming isn't a problem for me. There are enough positives to keep it as a free time activity.