Lincisman

Thanks for the reply. Did not think about LP in this context. Of course, this is what I am lacking in my life.

It did. Thank you for clearing that up.

Now, this was refreshing. This thought was in the back of my mind but not fully explicit. Thank you.

You are right. I cannot get the results in pickup without changing my inner self into a person who women find attractive, or can I? That would be so fake on my part.

I have noticed that the act of using the conscious deliberate effort towards the achievement of some goal is not sustainable. Willpower quickly wanes and in the end, I am left with no energy or motivation for the task that I want to do. Forcing myself to do the task, that I do not feel like doing (eg. homework) will inevitably lead to failure. It is like the pain of doing it is greater than any other factor. I also have read Psycho-Cybernetics and the authors' point is that to act differently (instead of using willpower) one should change their subconscious mind since 95% of our actions and reactions are automatic and instinctual. As a practice, he recommends visualizing the desired result, and in this way actions towards the goal will be more effortless and automatic. What do I make of it? how do you solve this issue? (let's call it resistance to take effective action) Funny thing: When I visualized myself talking to girls in a bar on and of for the whole week, at weekend I was just drawn to the city center to socialize. I joined a group where I could find wings. It was night and I went there by myself. I would never have done that in my right mind. certainly, it's biology, man, and not some woowoo subconscious mind doing its' target seeking machinery stuff, right?

For me the most meaningful thing is to understand how the mind works and how to change it.

Eat ONLY meat, saturated fats, eggs, organs (good luck overeating that), Watch some Paul Saladino on best plant foods that are least toxic

There were other important and more nuanced points (ex. self-image, beliefs, how the mind is a goal-seeking mechanism works.) So you say that my mind is not comfortable with doing the work. Hence I need to get used to mental strain gradually. Will it change my self-image? It has to if I were to keep it up. self-image is the thermostat that you are talking about, I believe. The author wrote that the self-image determines what I do and all of my actions must be consistent with that image (It is true based on my experience). The question is how do I change my self-image so that it does not subvert my efforts to do what I need to do?

I do not even attempt to work 4 hours. The thing is that I cannot even start to do the work (learning programming). I suppose starting small is what you are saying -good idea (did not enter my mind before)

There is always some other desire that uses part of my mental resources even if it is very mild. But the need for relationships is far from a mild desire that I could just ignore.

This is precisely what I did not do. I chose to study computer science purely from the hard-minded calculation that I need some skill to survive and this is the one that is in demand and well paid (lets me live in a big city) etc. I thought of It as a stepping stone towards a more meaningful goal which is still vague but different from what I am pursuing right now.

In my mind, you have to decide on what is more important to you right now and make a decision based on that. If I were you I would go live alone since there will always be opportunities to socialize and meet with friends. moreover, this way you can keep doing your thing without distractions and go out socialize whenever you want.

Six pillars of self-esteem by N.Branden is a great book that will definitely help you to understand more clearly some of your problems.

I am a 20 years old college student in my junior year studying computer science. The truth is that: · I have no career skills (basic C++; console applications) · I do not have social skills and am unable to have relationships of any kind so far (and have no friends) · Have low self-esteem (though did sentence-stems work for 3 months from Six pillars of self-esteem) · Sometimes I get quite depressed and get into a rot where I just watch YouTube (watch George Carlin) and eat cheese, berries, and honey (this happened then this semester started) · Do not know how to talk (some times are better than others depending on my inner feelings). I quit meditation after a year of practice when I was 17 or so (was too painful -pushed too far, but it works, definitely), and just now after 3 months (I did not technically quit but missed a few days) I live in a dorm in a city of 539,000 citizens and every weekend go back home to the village where my parents live (20 citizens). I notice myself being happier on those days when I talk to people more. My motivation for studying has declined close to zero, but in the previous semester, I managed to get a scholarship of 125 EUR (for comparison my dorm costs 55 EUR a month). Moreover, I am studying for free and don’t work anywhere= have a lot of free time (I consider starting doing some unqualified work because I better go earn some money than watch YouTube and eat.) I am unable to not pay attention to cute girls on the streets, I feel cravings for some sort of connection. Today a beautiful girl sat next to me said hey and asked me about what the lecturer was saying (and our body language was the same) – It triggered a feeling. (But I also noticed myself feeling that I am not enough and somehow unworthy of this girl- At this point, I thought that my mind is full of shit). I assume that this is a reason why I am passionate about the topic of how the mind works and how to change it. My question: Should I learn to socialize/ pickup during college or do something else like career skills? Maybe I can do both of these at the same time? Honestly, I feel fake writing this because I feel close to zero motivation to do anything right now and it makes me sad. I need to change my mind, that’s for sure. And Vision. Leo, do you still visualize the future to keep you motivated or do you motivate yourself in some other way? (This question is for everyone, I just wanted to get Leos attention )

You are right, It makes sense that how much I learn depends on how much effort I put into it and not on some other circumstance

Thanks, Leo. So visualization is the primary tool by which you motivate yourself to take action, right? Moreover, I feel like the college is a joke. Going to college for education is like going to a church to become spiritual (Just needed to put it out there).

I recommend reading some of Cal Newport books, specifically: "Deep work" and "How to become a straight-A student" The author is an expert on the subject. Also, you can check out his podcast and blog - highly recommend for everyone: https://www.calnewport.com/

Hey, I am really interested. Do you go solo or with a friend?

Hello everyone, I am talking from my personal experience and this is what I have discovered: Cast iron pans gets non-stickier (and easier to clean) every time I use it.( I have been using it for about 2-3 months so far) It does not require perfect seasoning ( as an amateur cast iron owner I barely did it two or three times day I bought it with no idea of what am I doing and after that my first egg stuck to it like with glue - seasoning had no effect yet I kept using it) It is not necessary at all to oil a pan after cooking. Whether I do it or not - it has no effect on the metal itself (but you have to dry it, I just heat it till water evaporates) It is extremely cheap, much cheaper than stainless steel pans. (I bought it for about 18 dollars) It has no toxic materials (single piece of metal with no multiple layers) Cast iron pans can last all of your life. If you want to clean it, just make it wet, put some salt and scrub it with paper towel (Just that simple). I have just realized how amazing they are after cooking omelette today. Imagine these pans gets actually better BETTER after every cooking session as apposed to others that wears off. It's unreal I tell you, man. And the idea that c.i. pans are hard to take care of are simply not true. Plus you can heat it for a long time and make it incredibly hot without worrying about breaking it or toxic fumes coming out. Right now I have two pans : cast iron. And the one I bought in the past: fiskars stainless steel with non-stick coating, extra durable, multiple layers ( 60 Dollars cost) and all that b.s. (not the best choice for health reasons- I know but it really does not stick). Now take that : right know cast iron pan is about 80 - 85% as much non-stick as the fiskars one. Percent may be higher but certainly not lower. In conclusion: I encourage you to try it cast iron (pun pretty much intended ) and stick to it until metal actually gets more and more non-stick. Have a good day forum people. I hope I helped someone on this issue.

When I start doing something new, learning an unfamiliar skill or studying a topic which I know nothing about, flat learning curve where long hours of effort produces no results or improvement and drudgery comes up (at least for me). it feels uncomfortable and makes me uneasy. It makes me want to rush through the process or distract myself. I've read George Leonard's book, but it really is difficult to love the plateau. So my questions are : How do you reframe the whole situation in your own mind in the moments like that? What mindset or mental imaging do you use to make yourself grounded in a moment of slow and boring practice? How do you equip your mind to endure long and boring practices (drudgery) ?

Cal Newport " Deep work" this is one of the most important ones on how to work and produce value using your mind.

One more thing, the reason why you don't like the job might be precisely because you do not feel competent. Could that be the case?

I highly recommend reading Cal Newport's book " So good they can't ignore you" this will shift your perspective and maybe even free yourself from the passion mindset which may be the thing that cause those problems. And I wouldn't recommend to do any shift to a field where you do not have any career capital (concept from the book). Good luck.

So I started reading Byron Katie book and started to question some of my stories and beliefs about myself and reality. Here is there it gets confusing. My problem is this: firstly, I identify thoughts behind my negative feelings: " I feel bad about myself because I have not accomplished anything in my life and I have no skills to provide value" Then I investigate the underlying belief about that thought which might be: " I should accomplish something big in life and achieve my goals" After that I use four questions to deconstruct this belief: Question #1: Is it true? Answer: Yes, I think it is true. Question #2: Can I absolutely know that this is true? Answer: No because I haven't, so it is not true (True in this context is what is reality or what exists). And in general sense it is not necessary that I should or must. Question #3: How do I react, what happens or feel when I believe this thought? Answer: It makes me feel useless. I feel inferior and makes me feel bad about myself and my abilities. Question #4: Who would I be without the thought? Answer: I would feel freer and more relaxed. I would have more confidence and energy about what I do. I would have more motivation and feel happier. I would be more centered and present. Then the turnaround happens: " I should accomplish something big in life and achieve my goals" -> " I shouldn't (I don't have to) accomplish something big in life and achieve my goals" The idea is that I just love what is. The story that I should is not true and contradicts the reality and therefore cause me all the suffering and discomfort. And at this point I am afraid to lose motivation for this goal because the belief is that I should and it feels that I will never attain it if I get rid of it. As far as I understood the motivation for any actions after the belief is destroyed, is love- you do it because you love reality as it is( but I'm not getting there either. ) And this is hard for me to grasp. On the one hand I have a belief that really doesn't feel good. On the other hand I need that goal because I want to have big accomplishments. I feel like if I don't have this belief then I can't accomplish anything. Also if I just love and accept what is, I feel that I would just sit and do nothing. So how do you solve it in your own mind? (Another belief question to be investigated and put on 4 questions is " I am responsible for my life" I seems that it doesn't hold to true for second question and now tell me, tell me : how is this empowering ? ) P.s Leo, don't forget to eat organ meats on a carnivore diet