Grateful Dead

Of all the drugs I've tried, I like the effects of alcohol the least. When I use drugs I want to be more conscious than normal and not the other way around. I live in Bavaria, where beer is a staple food. For most of the people here, it is very strange not to drink. I don't judge people for drinking, but they judge me for not drinking . It takes a while to adapt socially to it...when everyone is drinking and I would also like to change my state, I take psychedelics/mdma/weed in small doses.

If depersonalization occurs after trauma usually it stops after you find the root of your trauma and face it. To do this you should be as stable as possible, otherwise it could get worse. So working with a psychotherapist is a good start to find some balance and investigate your emotions deeper.

Recently watched 'Uncut Gems' as suggested by @Heart of Space in another thread. Great message, really well done!

@Tech36363

There's a natural mystic Blowing through the air If you listen carefully now you will hear

Normally it's caused by lots of stress or a traumatic event, so in your case I would slow down with psychedelics and spirituality. Try to ground yourself like @EmptyVase suggested. Learn to identify the symptoms and listen to your emotions, maybe start a journal to find some clarity. It really depends on how strong your symptoms are, if it's a weak case, usually after a short time it will fade away. But if you have strong symptoms over longer periods, you should seek professional help to deal with it.

Could be de-realization / depersonalization. Did something trigger it? How and when did it start?

Hey everyone Glad to help the community ?

#1 Intention Intent or intention is in many ways a key to understanding any state of consciousness and probably the most important point for a sustainable experience. If our perception is not directed by conscious intention or interest, it can be caught or even tied up. So you want to be crystal clear about why you are going into this experience. Formulate a clear goal, intention, or question for the experience. It is usually best to only focus on a single topic or question at a time. About a week before the trip, I take time to go inside, to find out what interests me most at the moment. What is my heart longing for right now? If you just wanna have fun and a good time, thats fine too! When you know why and for what you are having this experience right now, it appears in a different context. You will know the way and be less confused. But don't confuse intention with expectation. You shouldn't make any expectations about the trip, just be curious about what will happen. Examples: "Self realization", "How can I become more conscious?", "Healing", "What do I want from life?", "What does it mean to love?", "What is the difference between real and unreal?", "What is God?", "What is Meditation?", "What is Love?". Anecdote on the power of Intention: Two years ago when I really wanted to know what time is, I had four connected dreams over the course of a week. But as soon as I woke up I couldn't remember anything. On Saturday I went to a techno club with a friend. We took MDMA and danced for hours it was a great night. Then at some point my friend came from behind, put his hand on my shoulder and speaks something in my ear. At that moment, all the dreams of the past week came back into my consciousness and it came together like a puzzle. The dream was about the night I was going through at the moment. Some things have already happened, but others were still going to happen and I was able to predict several events for my friend in detail. This deeply impacted me and made me realize, that everything is happening RIGHT NOW. (MDMA is technically not a psychedelic but I always smoke weed on it and dance myself into trance)

@charlie cho Uff... how did the fight start?

@The0Self oh wow I know what you are talking about and when you take lsd the whole trip is like that? like 6 hours? every trip?

what exactly do you mean by that? like no visuals at all with eyes closed? and with eyes open more sharp and clear then usual?

@OBEler Yes I have but not much. I have read in the forum that some people after using 5-MeO can't use lsd anymore because the bodyload is to uncomfortable. So I have stopped experimenting with 5-MeO for now because I want to keep using lsd for a while. I tried smoking it about 10 times but didn't really like it. One time I snorted 8mg and this was amazing, very peaceful and meditative, no nausea or fear. If you want to learn more about using 5-MeO for healing, there is a great book by Ralph Metzner : https://www.amazon.de/Die-Kröte-Jaguar-Erfahrungsberichte-Erforschung/dp/3037883413/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1621959405&sr=8-1 With professional I meant someone who has done psychedelic sessions with clients for many years, like Ralph Metzner or Stan Grof for example. Anyway already having someone like you to help her is huge. Holding her hand or massage is great, during the experience that's almost the most you should do. Is her body moving/shacking during the trip? She should try to relax her body as much as possible during the experience, release all the tensions and don't hold on. Trauma is not only psychological, it's also like "trapped" energy in the body. So when you relax and let the energy's work it out, which often manifests as shaking or movement, the trauma will come up and you let the trapped energy work itself out. Music is very powerful to bring stuff up on psychedelics. In holotropic or psychedelic sessions, Stan Grof always uses the same sequence of music. For the come up some sort of shamanic drum music and after 1 1/2 - 2 hours when the peak hits they switch to classical music. Ambient or some chillout music for the comedown. I have experimented with that sequenz but I didn't like it to much. Listening to a full Grateful Dead show is much more powerful for me.

Amazing! this is very close to an actual experience makes me want to smoke dmt

@OBEler Because I think a candyflip is not necessary, lsd alone is enough. But it certainly won't hurt if you try it once, let me know how it went! That's good, it's generally easier to resolve stuff that happened later in life. Oke, no problem that should be enough anyway 5-MeO can also be used for healing in lower doses if you plug or snort it. But in my opinion it's much easier to work with lsd if you don't do it with a professional sitter. As I said before, it's best to slowly increase the dose until you get there and then you can do lower doses again to fully integrate everything. It's very helpful to always have the same routine when you do psychedelics. Built some sort of ritual so your ego learns over time that this situation is safe. You should have almost no distraction during the experience. And what kind of music do you use?

@OBEler I wouldn't recommend doing a candyflip. MDMA alone can be helpful but rather when you do it in a therapeutic setting, like talking to someone about your problems when your are on MDMA. Do you have access to Ketamine? Ketamine is known to be extremely helpful to heal childhood trauma. It's more addictive then psychedelics but it's not hard to use it responsible as an addition to the lsd trips. https://psychedelicspotlight.com/ketamine-therapy-depression-childhood-abuse/

I microdosed lsd for a month and had no urge at to take it. However psychedelics can be addictive, I've seen it.

few drops vinegar and light coconut milk then you can plug it you find all the informations here:

look for what is hurt in you and observe your mind you did the right thing blocking them imo ? do you have some way to release your rage and anger like sports or can you talk to a friend about it?

Yeah sounds like you are ready!? If you have access to Ketamine, it's also a very good tool to heal trauma. You will have a different perspective as in your lsd trips and they don't have cross tolerance like most psychedelics. But you have to be careful with it because it's addictive, not like heroin more like alcohol addiction. Also I would recommend to get some trip killers, especially if you don't have a trip sitter. It will give you some peace of mind when you know that you have benzos to end the trip, just in case. I didn't mean that it will take a long time for you to heal your history of serious abuse. Most people have incredible changes after a few sessions but this is just the surface, the deeper you go the more you will find. Basically I meant if you want to become more conscious you also have to face more shit.

@StarStruck You are welcome! Taking out the garbage as Bache calls it is key to this work and very rewarding in the long run. Facing this stuff is very uncomfortable thats why many people skip it, I think. Keep in mind that you want to take this as an Marathon rather then a race. You are not gonna clean it out in 3 months for example so always be patient and gentle with yourself because there is a risk to become even more traumatized. And to really open up most people have to do at least a few trips with high doses like 400ug+. Having professional therapy in combination is as good as it gets, I wish you the best!?

Stan Grof is probably the one with the deepest understanding and the most practical experience. He has lots of great books like: The Way of the Psychonaut and LSD Doorway to the Numinous. Ralph Metzner also has lots of experience with psychedelic therapy and a great summarizing book: ALLIES for AWAKENING Guidelines for productive and safe experiences with entheogens LSD and the Mind of the Universe by Christopher M. Bache is not particularly about therapy but he uses Stan Grof's methode to explore the mind and you will learn lots of useful stuff in this book. Entheogenic Liberation: Unraveling the Enigma of Nonduality with 5-MeO-DMT Energetic Therapy by Martin Ball is also helpful even if you don't use 5-MeO-DMT. Also you should check out Marin Balls podcast there are a few episodes where he talks with psychedelic therapists. You can go down the rabbit hole and find endless stuff and also lots of bad information's so be careful.. If you dive into Stan Grof's work you can't go wrong but as you probably know reading about it and doing it is a totally different thing. Of course it's good to study the literature but this work is highly individual and your experience will most likely be very different from what you have read. I would suggest to start with long lasting psychedelics in moderate doses like 100ug lsd and then slowly increase the dose over your sessions. The psychedelic will basically teach you everything you have to know but you have to experiment a bit and find whats the best methode for you.

I think you like that one @Leo Gura

it worked ?❤

love all your points ? to add: good friends, walks in natures and good audio/books or tv serie