Grateful Dead

@OBEler You don't have to breathe when you're in the middle of it . Investigate it yourself, no amount of information you can get here will help. But yeah, I think some basic meditation/concentration skills are helpful in situations like this.

My scariest trip was my first ever full blown ego death. I was at a psytrance festival and decided to take 250ug LSD (I know wtf?) and on the way to the stages I smoked a spliff (again wtf?), even grabbed a beer (I don't normally drink), before entering the dome. When I started dancing, the LSD peaked and I had the time of my life. My friends said they had never seen me smile like that and for me there was just the movement of my body flowing with the music. I had my eyes closed while dancing and suddenly it became very dark in front of my inner eye and these bright white jigsaw pieces flew in as if from "outside". It looked very cool and I was stunned. When the puzzle was complete, I saw that it was me, in lotus position made out of this incredible glowing white light. Then it was like I'd inhaled or swallowed myself (the puzzle) and let it all out like "paahh". In that moment it was like a mirror broke, my reality shattered, death, there was nothing and then for some reason I opened my eyes. When I looked around there were all these people and flashing lights etc and I was immediately so confused it was driving me insane. My friends said I stopped dancing, turned around and ran out of the dome (stage). I don't remember that, for me from the moment I opened my eyes I entered eternal hell. It was like an endless corridor with all the moments from all my lives when I screwed up or caused suffering to another being in some way. I was there for eternity and at the same time I was still stuck in this other reality. I remember seeing other people from the festival and they were talking bad about me and at some point I thought if my friends don't come in 10 seconds I'm going to run to the forest. Then one of my friends patted me on the back and I told them I fucked up. They took me back to the campsite and it helped that they were there, but I was still in infinite hell. While we were walking back the trance music was still playing in the background and to me it sounded like the sound of Windows 99 startup and shoutdown sound at 2x speed: but in an infinite loop and with that it was like my brain was constantly rebooting. At that point I was sure something was terribly wrong with me and I'll never be the same again (true) and I'm imagining all these horror stories of how I have to tell my parents when I get home and that I I'll be in a psychiatric ward for the rest of my life, etc. To put it in a psychological way, I had total derealization and depersonalization, but it was way worse than that, infinitely worse. There was nothing to stand on, I was totally lost, it felt like I had broken reality and there was no way to fix it. My friends tried to reassure me, but their words were empty to me and I wasn't even there to listen, like I was infinitely far away and this body was just a shell of my former self. At some point I decided that I would go into my tent alone and listen to music or whatever. I remember playing Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon to calm me down (lol) but it only made it worse. I don't know how much time I spent alone in the tent, but after a while I left because nothing changed and it was hot and uncomfortable there. My friends looked at me with pity and one of them said if I didn't want to try meditating as I often do. I tried and started following my breath and it got better very quickly. I think I only meditated for about 10-20 minutes and was pretty much back to normal. Still a bit ungrounded of course but it got better by the moment and 1-2 hours later we were dancing again and I had a great time for the rest of the festival.

Psychedelics are like a compass to navigate through life, you just have to learn how to use them properly. Just like a compass will send you in the wrong direction if you can't read it, psychedelics will confuse you if you don't know what you're doing.

I'll try again, so far I haven't been able to get used to anime.

Weed is tricky, I agree, but one of the trickiest drugs to quit? Even caffeine and nicotine were a lot harder for me to quit than weed. And opioids or amphetamines screw you on a completely different level. You can stack tolerance with almost any drug but only for weed and opioids there are no negative physical side effects.

Do you personally use the How not to die cookbock @Michael569?

No

closed by request

Great list, thanks for sharing! Happy to see you are doing well never had any doubts that you'd come back stronger.

A friend of mine went through something similar after her first LSD trip. She told me the exact same thing with the confused thoughts etc. and much worse stuff. It took almost half a year, but now everything is fine and she knows herself much better now. I think the problem was that she has deep trauma since childhood (she told me) and she wasn't ready to deal with it all on her own. I had a long chat with her and basically told her that the most important thing for her right now is not to stress out too much about it. Like practicing self accpecten/self-love and focus on living a healthy balanced life. Shortly after that she told me a miracle happend and she had recoverd.

@Snader Thank you ! That’s what I was looking for, I think I'll order it. can imagine lol

Yes I totally agree. That's right, good therapists are super rare and in general there are many problems in the system. Psychology has to learn from spirituality, but if Teal regulated her work better, it wouldn't backfire so much all the time. Like at least don't sleep with your Clients and stuff like that... Btw I looked into her work now a bit and I have to say what I saw was pretty good stuff.

missing the point of enjoying life while doing self-help/spirituality thinking you are better then everyone else just because you did some work on yourself

Yeah, 5-MeO is almost an entirely different class of psychedelics. Everyone has to go through something like this with 5-MeO I think, next time it will be easier. The first time I took 5-MeO I was 100% sure that I wouldn't come back from it, completely lost it ^^...

It seems to me like Teal lies non-stop, but she's so good at it that it's almost impossible to notice. That's why I think she's a psychopath. Anyway, I haven't looked into her work that much and maybe she really does have a lot of helpful advice, but I think the way she offers her stuff isn't good in general. It would be better to make her work more regulated, with clear boundaries etc.. Working with people with mental illness is extremely tricky and I don't think Teal fully realizes on how many levels she can screw up here.

Uff, that was really disturbing to watch... what did you take from it?

Festivals are back again Anyone coming to Ozora in Hungary this year? I've been there a few times now and it's always the highlight of the year for me. The vibe is indescribable, it's so much fun, wish it would never end lol... So if you like Goa/Psy-trance and dancing go there if you can!! I've been to a lot of festivals but nothing even comes close to Ozora, it's on a whole other level. The best thing to do is to arrive 2 days before the festival starts, on July 29th, because unofficially it starts earlier and that way you'll get a nice shadow place for your tent. Tickets are almost sold out so dont wait to long. https://ozorafestival.eu/

Have tried it a couple of times and really like it. It’s like a mix of LSD and DMT but plugging doesn’t work for me and snorting is very uncomfortable. And it’s nowhere near as effective as 5-MeO for me, also closer to LSD on that level.

Becoming God - Insights From 13 Back-to-Back Awakenings What Is Love? Part 1-2 Guided Exercise For Realizing You Are God Understanding Surivial Part 1-2 Self Deception Part 1-3 Spiral Dynamics Series these were the most helpful for me, but from the overall vibe the last 4 videos were the best imo

@RMQualtrough What temperature did you vape the Mighty with DMT at? can confirm this too

dancing to electronic music but there has to be a good vibe at the place

well written - great post, thanks! classic ?

made me lose my mind a few times (in a good way)

that would be great I think we should allow some level of sourcing, but we need to test it a bit

Once I was able to choose on a screen which of my past lives I would like to see. When I chose one, I lived as a princess in a beautiful palace and lay in my husband's arms. The love I felt for this man surpasses anything imaginable. Then someone came into our room and discussed something with my husband for a while, when the man left my husband came back to me. We looked into each other's eyes and I realized something wasn't quite right and a few moments later he started gasping and blood was coming out of his mouth. He stayed totally calm, calmed me down and told me what to do to save our child. He died in my arms and I woke up crying and cried my eyes out for a while afterwards. That was my most beautiful dream. It showed me that no matter how much suffering I experience, it's all worth it to experience this. I think the worst was when I had sleep paralysis and a demon came into my room to rape me or whatever...