Strangeloop

@DefinitelyNotARobot @Maximus Great insights. I see a lot of signs. Thoughts, words, objects, colours. Now am I just ignoring these signs or is there a false sign? Cuz e.g. I hear people speak within the paradigm I have so that means when I change my inside - the outside changes. Now changing the inside takes time and you can't do it all at once because there will be an ego backlash. Once you see the Truth of God and what he wants you to do you will either appreciate or not.

When what is the opposite of what I've said?

This advice might be weird and crazy but this has helped me so far. Have a conversation with yourself in your mind or outloud when you're alone. It helps bringing thoughts and the deepest of your desires into reality. And it opens up new possibilities into telepathy which I won't get into here. So for example if you want to change core beliefs try this: I think that I'm not good with people which means I'm not that sociable. What do you think about it? Well I think if you looked at your past where you were sociable you would see that you have a lot to say and if you don't remember any that you could start talking with me and train up the social skills. I do this everytime and get interesting results.

@SirVladimir For business you could start building your audience, you can do that on facebook or instagram or youtube. Be a public speaker, learn to talk monologues in front of people, maybe you could teach something. Read a lot and research your material. Once you start getting followers (it may take awhile) you can start bringing products into your business, a course, a book or anything else you can imagine.

@MNR Mackey the issue is doing the job, cuz I'm a lazy asshole I don't want to work or atleast a conventaniol job, I would love to start my own business but I'm miles away from achieving that. @Jonac I've got used to get what I want all the time... Drugs, video games. Has really impacted me all I did was seeking entertainment, looking for something interesting. Was trying to experiment with different hobbies and seeing which sticks for now it's beatbox. @LeoX8 I would feel like my life will end, I would have to find food, shelter, water to survive. I would have to ask people for money to buy some food or even drugs just to feel a little less deppressed.

@Hello from Russia sure

I don't know what you mean by saying "bringing ideas into reality". But for the dream's sake I will say that being in a dream is very much similar to being in Reality. My dreams many times had had manifestes into existence and I many times have spoken about it to other people.

@Arcangelo She basically said Yes and No answer. Yes she wants to grow, but financially. And No she doesn't want to grow because she would rather choose external materialistic growth than internal spiritual growth.

Maybe your purpose is to but a camper van. Ever thought about that?

Last year I had this thought: I will send you a million. And I should be getting it before new years come. Now when I get it I'm supposed to go to this girl from sweden and be with her for a few years... In the meantime I should be depressed because I don't like girls I like men. And this will frustrate me. Sure there will be good times with her but eventually I'll have to leave her because of my sexuality being gay and such. I don't know when I get this million and I'm pretty sure I'll get it, I will be more focused on my relationship life. Everybody is telling me that I won't get it. I don't believe them. I have to get a million because I made an agreement with God that if I'm gonna be gay when I have to have a million euros in my bank account. I guess I just want to be gay after a hard break up.(see my other threads) Also I heard this saying: You plan and God laughs at your plans. What do you think about this whole certainty about getting a million?

Well when you question it like that... I guess absolutely life is a constant flow of consciousness. But in that constant flow there are also mistakes that you call going out of the flow. It means that you're out of flow when in reality being out of flow is still part of flow. If I said that I have no ego I would be denying the fact that I have the ego. So yes I do have an ego and I'm trying to come to terms with it.

I don't know much about the ego, but I sure have experienced the flow state. Enjoy the flow state while it lasts and after the flow state realize that you're the ego so being joyful about how it worked well can be a positive experience. The thoughts that come with the ego are great especially the positive ones so enjoy it while it lasts.

@Serotoninluv Thank you for your story, I get what you're saying we're transcending energy as we are laughing

So this is a Duality that I've been noticing. Especially yesterday when I watched newest "Joker" movie. So jokes huh. People make serious statements and others laugh at their statements. So what does make a statement funny? Is it its seriousness? For example the Joker laughed about death and killing people. It was funny to him but the other person said it's not funny. I sense relativism here. Also his statement "We determine what's funny and what's not funny" It's mindblowing really. So I'm pretty sure I might be gay... Now the more I live the more I start to joke about it. For example I say to men as I am a Man: I wanted to touch your hand. And this creates laughter. For some reason. I also spoke with my mother about me being gay and I was almost entering this state of desperation and crying then suddenly I laughed when I said: I'm crying like a gay person... what does it mean to be gay? Is it just fucking other guys when you are male as well or is it something more? I'm laughing at most bizzare things. People hurt themselves in these "funny fail videos" and I laugh at it. Why do I laugh at all? What makes a thing serious? What makes a thing funny? I sometimes want to cry I make this crying face and almost start sobbing when suddenly I start laughing like a crazy person. Why do I laugh at all? Did anyone notice that we laugh at serious things?

So in this past year I've been having dreams about being gay Dreams like: Being penetrated from the back by some entity. hugging with men and touched penises together kissing men chossing a male partner Also had dreams with girls: this one dream I had fun with this girl we were moving together and she suddenly was vomiting, shitting herself, and I didn't find it grouse and suddenly she was about to suck my dick putting my pants off and my dick turned into a slinky meaning I didn't have an erection. She said sorry and my dream ended. Another dream happend when I was going next to a sauna, and there was a tons of girls there, one of them was inviting me in. When I came next to the door. This man with a thong half-naked said give them the alchohol and let's go. so if any of you are dream readers and could read between the lines and can give me any insight I would really appreciate it.

So I remember this one saying from Leo it goes something like this: "People don't recognise negative feedback" which means when I say "I'm not God" it means I'm God. Another example would be "there's no such thing as spirituality" which really means there is spirituality. Also then I say "I don't like bad things" I start to see through it and see that I do like bad things but I'm in denial about it. As well as an example in this forum said by Leo himself: "Don't treat it as an ideology" does it mean I'm manipulated into treating it as an ideology? I don't know if I'm translating this well to you there's something I'm trying to show you. In my language (Lithuanian) there's a lot of "no" in sentences especially in front of words which are written together and sometimes when people speak and they say the for example "neleidziama" which translates to "not allowed" does it mean that it is allowed? I don't know I'm very confused about this yes and no thingy. In my thoughts I told myself that Yes is No; No is Yes which means Yes and No are one and the same. And yes this philosophy points to things like: taking no for an answer in business. For example I'm in rehab right now and I was speaking to a social worker about some erands in the rehab suggesting some thing. (It doesn't matter what the thing is) At first he said No. Then I was persuading him giving him arguments, reasons and so forth. And at the end I asked him again - he said Yes. In which the philosophy of No is Yes is valid. But on the other hand there's the mainstream philosophy. Yes is Yes; No is No meaning there's a difference bettween Yes and No. For example I was going to the toilet and I see another person closing the door and I tell him "Don't close the door" in result he leaves the door open which means that Yes is No; No is Yes philosophy is invalid and Yes is Yes; No is No is Valid. So in a sense now there's another duality not just between "Yes and No" but also in between of "Yes is No; No is Yes" and "Yes is Yes; No is No" It seems to me that it's somekind of a paradox. Sometimes one philosophy is valid and another is not and vice versa. This Yes and No linguistic analysis is very confusing. I get that not every person here will understand this. I guess it's just my way of interpreting reality. But on the other hand if there's someone who gets where I'm pointing at will give me some feedback. I would like to see your point of view on this.

@Nak Khid For drugs

@Serotoninluv That's a great point. But what if I do smoke anyways in that area? In my logic if it's not allowed I wouldn't be able to smoke there at all. But see I can smoke there and because it's "Not allowed" I will get negative consequences out of it. @Nak Khid Yea I get what you saying. I'm chasing my own tail, I've been running in circles all my life in fact Reality is a giant twisted circle which never ends and if it does end it still continues. At least that's how I see it. @Aeris You get me. There are ton of examples of this people say I haven't done that I haven't done this and when you look more closely they have done it sometimes seconds ago.

@28 cm unbuffed I've been looking at men's butt many times also at the genital area as well. I also seen some strange switch in perspective where when I looked at men I saw their feminine side they looked like women glowing and shit. Their eyelashes where standing out as well as lips. It freaked me out at first. I don't know maybe God wants to tell me something

@TrynaBeTurquoise Yes I was doing oral sex for her and after she orgasmed she stopped me and said it was enough. I told her in a cry baby voice "I want you to feel better" and got left there crying with a boner and tears in my eyes

@TrynaBeTurquoise The first thought that came up was I don't know the second was no. The thing is I had these thoughts after a hard breakup with a girl. And probably got defensive about my sexuality because she left me hanging during sex.

I can't seem to find a reason to exercise, or even motivation. It seems if I had people around me that do exercise then I would too, but now that's not the case. I could say that I need to exercise to look good or too attract women easier and such but I saw fat men attract women so it's not the case at all. Why do you exercise? What motivates you to exercise?

I have this shaking as well and as others had told - it is because of resistance. Resisting your thoughts and trying to control them makes the shaking reapear . How I deal with it? I just feel it out trying to let it pass and such way by accepting the shaking has come a long way. It means I have something to contemplate on. Why am I resisting these thoughts? What's the cause of this shaking? How can I accept my thoughts and let them run through me? I hope this helps.

God is a giant Ego, this giant ego spreads into pieces of ego which are each separate human and creature. So why kill yourself? Why kill the ego? Leo said that ego is in a way but I don't think so. I otherwise do the opposite and work with my ego cultivating it nurturing it. I guess I'm just afraid of an ego backlash. Anyways if I'm the self which is the ego then killing it seems impossible cuz it's so strong

@Dinsdale It's very hard to distinct the ego from the self (if they are separate) and God. There's a lot of overlaps and crashes of boundaries that are happening once you really get deeply into this stuff