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I've read like a third of the thread I think I know what people mean with Leo being a jerk or negative. A funny thing is, some people that are totally uninterested in spirituality and who are basically totally in materialist worldviews, also didn't like Leo from the first videos. (Yes I showed his videos to friends of mine sometimes) Not because of the message (they mostly got something from the videos), but because of his personality. I think even the materialists have an intuition for negative personalities. I personally understand Leo as a quite negative person that somehow got on a very positive path. I also see that he got much better, his personality improved alot compared to his first videos. His smile is often much more loving and authentic, his interested and care shines through more. I also wanna mention that we should not critize him for his personality. He is totally fine as he is. It's okay and kinda important to understand WHO is saying what is being said, but at the end, the message is more important. I totally understand if someone is unable to resonate with him and these people would do much better finding another teacher. Everybody has a different capacity to accept, overlook negative aspects of others. No need to force something that won't work. So at the end: No one's perfect and we should focus on the inspiring input rather than his personality. For everyone who can't resonate with him: Also fine! Just look for another teacher/inspiration.

By far the best foods for me are liver, eggs, bone broth, animal fats and fish. I feel so relaxed and satisfied after these meals. When it comes to plants, my body likes coconut-products, citrus fruits, sweet potatos (best plant-carb source for me), chili and avocado. Try to eat the same food regulary, the microbiome needs time to adjust.

If you have the need to cheat, it might be because: - You are not truly happy with your partner - You have a dysfunctional sexuality / don't understand your needs enough - You do not understand love enough Of course it might also be that your authentic needs do not fit with monogamy. I don't know what is "long term" for you but I've been in a relationship now for 2 and a half years and we are still finding our own sexuality, its not boring. But its a long distance relationship so idk how much its comparable. At least I can say that I have absolutely no wish to have sex with another girl. Love is so much more fulfilling and sex is just one tiny aspect of it.

So, how do I start this? I subconsciously knew for months that I had a some problems and dysfunctionalities with my sexuality. It was very uncomfortable to reflect on this for a long time. When I started the relationship with my girlfriend (Like 2 and a half years ago now?) I realized more and more how the constant fapping and porn consumption made me unable to sexually satisfy me and her. Again, I distracted myself from this. But last year I slowly began analyzing and reflecting on this. It hurt me, made me feel very shitty. I could not get hard enough for having sex, only thing that kept me really hard and able to cum fast enough was my own hand. The first attempts of her making me orgasm with a handjob failed. Not because I was not attracted to her, because I conditioned myself so orgasm through masturbation. We were not able to get very comfortable with sexual acitivities and it always felt like a struggle, pressure to me because I saw how hard it was for me, to be hard for her. Then I first began analyzing my sexuality, what do I like and why. Suddenly I realized how many fetishes/kinks I have only developed through porn use. Its a very awkward phenomenon were I was aroused by these videos and pictures while at the same time feeling a disgust against it. After fapping I always felt like: this is bs why am I into this? Esspecially humiliation stuff felt extremely toxic to me but I conditioned myself to fap to it. The thing with humiliation porn is also that it can subconsciously make you believe that you are actually pathetic. Even if you know that all this is based on pure stupidity. My self esteem is very good tho, don't worry guys. So the first step was understanding what came from porn use and what I originally liked. (at least coming closer...) People need to understand that sexuality is much more conditionable then we use to think. Especially in young ages. The next big revelation came when I found the website yourbrainonporn.com It explained everything I am struggling with. This site i generally great, they really put a lot of effort in linking studies, explaining how everything interconnects and sharing experiences. Extremely helpful! The next big step was to break the realized porn addiction. And this is another important distinction: I was not addicted to masturbation, it was the porn. I know this for sure now. Many people believe they just have a strong sex drive, while it's their addicted brain wantig its "drug". I've had failed NoFap attempts in the past and always wondered why, I just thought I am too horny for NoFap. So where was the problem? I was still using porn, I was still constantly triggering my brain that was conditioned to get horny and fap as soon as something slightly arousing came across. Another important step was to question where the addiction came from, when did it start and why? Lets get a little bit lingustic here. In germany we call addiction "sucht" which comes from "suchen", meaning searching. This is the key to addiction: You are looking for something, searching. So I asked myself what I am trying to find in porn and masturbation? Turns out that I did not want an orgasm or the porn. I wanted sexual satisfaction. Sounds obvious but it really isn't. I want REAL experiences. Everytime I'm horny the only thing I really want is to actually live my sexuality, not to fantasize, not to look at pictures or videos. But orgasming is an easy way to numb this need. Sexuality is NOT only about orgasms. So the masturbation was a desperate attempt to please the need for real sexual interaction. Of course this will NEVER please me. After I understood all this (and much more but that's too personal and not needed for the points I'm making) I tried again: Not fapping, absolutely no porn, no fantasizing about sexual interaction. It worked! Im now like 3 weeks in? And the idea of never fapping again seems totally acceptable. I've also developed many stupid habits coming from the addiction, like intense edging, being unable to resist the slightest temptation and so on My tip would be to make a list of every problematic/toxic/unhealthy sexual behaviour you have. Read about the theory of all this on sites like yourbrainonporn. Think about the future: Do you really want to live addicted and conditioned to orgasm to porn? Its not satisfying at all. If the motivation is there, perfect but don't become neurotic. You are allowed to fail and learn from the mistakes. Do not count days, its best to forget about porn completely. (Which is very likely to happen, just don't force it) Also don't worry if your dick feels like a soft noodle that can never go hard again, it will Thats another weird thing I've noticed, the first days of NoFap always made me feel like my penis is just dead. So, what are the benefits I'm experiencing? First: Finally no more horny everyday. I am just not distracted by sexual fantasies and porn anymore. I feel more love for my girlfriend, its like the sexual energy is now changing into love energy If feel much more need to actively express and show my love for her I am less tired. Daily orgasming always made me feel slightly exhausted or tired throughout the day. I also need slightly less sleep I am beginning to loose interested in those porn-induced fetishes. I hope to fully see my original sexuality one day. And that's it so far, I am not feeling like superman or anything, it just feels much more healthy. I can not tell if and how this will affect my real intercourse with my gf, but I will find out soon. (Long distance relationship) Might post about it here I hope my chaotic, long text had some valuable information or at least inspiration for you Feel free to ask me anything

If we don't know your definition of crazy this question is pointless. Every perspective is part of the reality no matter how far it is from a healthy/functional (not crazy) perspective. You can learn from everything. Being functional and healthy does not equal being close to truth. It's more correlation. But anyway, in our society the ultimate truth would be considered crazy. It's just completely relative what is crazy. Everything that acutally is, is truth. Because if it wasn't existing, it woulnd't be true. You don't have more than existence to learn what truth is.

Surprisingly I don't really want to listen to music while tripping, just no interest in doing so But the last time there was one song that felt very good, magical, perfectly fitting:

Visual distortion, things morphing is normal when staring at something for a longer time. I've always had that. Everyday when I meditate I see contrast going up, down, things morphing a bit, other visual distortions. I started meditating way before my first psychedelic trip so it has nothing to do with psychedelics. Maybe you just became sensitive to it after the trip? Oh and btw: Flashbacks go into the category of trauma psychology. If there is a extremely intense experience (can be positive or negative) that isn't fully processed, it can be triggered and the mind recreates that experience just as it was. The mind remembers such experiences in a different way. Read about the recovery stories of victims of heavy abuse, this will give insight about how the mind works and deals with extreme situations.

Yes, I did microdosing for like 9 days. I took a blotter with 100µg 1P-LSD and cut it into 9 tiny pieces. I didn't took it everyday to prevent tolerance building up. The effects where subtle but clearly present: More inner peace (Like after a good 1 hour meditation, but constantly) Improved social skills - I was calmer, could talk easier, felt less pressured by social interaction Increased humour - I would randomly grin sometimes and laugh easier, make more jokes A bit more mental clarity, everything felt a bit more intense The thing with the grinning is something I always have when I take LSD. It's not like I'm euphoric, I just grin. I remember the day after my first trip, how my face muscles hurt a bit Microdosing seems to be very different from person to person, so one can really tell you if it's worth your time. I personally, would microdose randomly when I feel like it, but I don't have enough 1P right now sadly ): Remember to not do it daily, your body would just build a tolerance. Do it when you feel like it

My favourite works of art ... I could make very long list. I love so many creative works. I will mostly name the artists names because I often like alot of their stuff. Games: Yume Nikki, Metroid (Prime), .flow, Life is Strange Painter: Van Gogh, Claude Monet The glitchart of Rob Sheridan. Mangas: Gantz, Death Note, Monster Shows: Mr. Robot, Twin Peaks, Ergo Proxy, Texhnolyze Musicians/Bands: This list would be too long. I literally love most genres and could name some artists in the specific genre that deeply touch me. What art I enjoy most comes and goes in phases. At the moment I mostly listen to classical music and piano arrangements from TAMusics "Nocturne" Album Series. Here is an example:

I think that's just the natural outcome when you do this work. A big part of this is to realize what really matters and how much we tell us that something is important even though we know better. Changing yourself for the truth, being more truthful, is the goal of all this. The same happened to me. I don't talk much, I don't explain much anymore. I even lost interested in most people. (This was more because I dropped the imagined "need" to stay in contact with them, stopped believing they are important) But I still enjoy a good conversation with my best friends, but I pick only people as best friends that are open minded and have more interesting thoughts. It just is completely irrelevant to always react or explain everything to people from that you know, won't understand a thing. Also I realized that it is okay that they don't understand. You will also see that they can't help you with problems anymore. They don't understand. So talking to people as a form of handling problems becomes impossible. Their problems are things you've probably outgrown. You have been there, nothing new. I still love to talk about my interests and passions, my understanding of things. The person I talk to just has to be on a similiar level of developement. Another funny thing is, my brother is sometimes kinda "fucked up" by my inner peace. Because I rarely get stressed or something and he's clearly clueless why.

I had brainfog for years. At least I think it was brainfog. It was the sense that you are just not really present, like disconnected from everything, my whole world felt like I am looking through a dirty, muddy lense. I don't exactly know what helped me. But it could be the following things: - Taking alot of Iodine - Meditation - The fact that I changed my diet in general to a much more healthy one - Actually caring about my sleep quality and improving it - Taking alot of MSM - Taking boron - Stopping to consume alot of media Iodine, MSM and boron definitely effects on my awareness and psyche. Boron made my dreams SO MUCH more intense, I even get lucid dreams sometimes. Iodine makes everything "clear" or "sharp" and MSM also. So actually all these 3 supps will detoxify the body alot. Sleep is also very important for being able to do consciousness work in general. A clean diet impliments to have much smaller intake of new toxins. Consuming media alot puts me into a deep unawareness. Another thing could be drugs. I noticed that alot of caffeine gets me into a foggy state. Coffee more than tea. My first experiences with weed caused weeks of lasting brain fog. But this could be more to the fact that I overdosed myself extremely.

Very interesting. I have sleep paralysis at least twice a month but I never had a nightmare during these moments. Most of the time I instantly recognize it as a sleep paralysis. The phenomena are just weird, not terrifyfing at all. Like hearing coughing from all directions, hearing robotic voices speaking in strange languages, seeing "dark-psychedelic" pattern etc. Actually I found out that when I imagine a body movement, like swimming, it becomes a lucid dream of swimming. There is a moment where it feels like I am literally moving. There are actually techniques to induce this state between sleep and being mentally awake. So this could be a way for spiritual progress, as you already said with your text. But I guess the problem is that, once you know these states, you are far less afraid of them. Even if you experience creepy things, you kinda know these are illusions.

So first Why are you not interested in them? Find out the reason. There might be a missassumption about reality which causes you to be uninterested. Another idea: Try out meditation for a month or two and see what it brings. This was for me first tiny taste of what spirituality might eventually look like. Got me more interested. Or what about a psychedelic experience? Many people experience big changes in perspective from just one. But be very very careful with that. It's just a possible way, I don't say it's the best or something. Just an option. Do you know what your passions are? Maybe try focusing on life purpose and passions? I don't know if it's possible to awaken if you are not authentically interested in it. I don't think so tho I guess if you just want to awaken because you wanna feel a great high, you won't reach it. But I have to admit that one of my motivations to meditate everyday is that these high awareness states do feel amazing. Not mindblowing yet, but amazing.