remember

when i was 16 i was infatuated with men in their 40 or thirties sometimes. i don’t think it’s about hitting on anyone or even really dating. it’s more about the thrill of the situation and being admired or getting the other person sexually react in a more subtle sublime way. it’s still romantic and interesting also exactly because it’s not allowed. this romantic infatuation/flirting with older (male) brought me to loving lyrics at some point it brought others to be the president of france. i think an attentive, intelligent wake way is always the best to talk to older females. or not talking at all, flirting from afar in a non verbal way can be pretty attractive. i think it’s def a gray area - and i think there is def a difference between a romantic conversation with some flying sparks and a goal oriented pick up plan - i guess most women would still prefer the first.

what if we can only decide by grabbing the brazen bull by the balls or being tortured within? i don’t want to elaborate on why it has to be a roman one, although there are probably some connections to italy, in a very loose symbolic connection.

@Ya know who says you can’t be alpha anymore the moment you accept being gay? because being alpha for a lot of male means not being gay? and the ones who really count in their opinion of you might be exactly males? most gay people i know wait the longest until they tell their parents or at least their dads because of cause the acceptance of our parents is one of the important factors to somehow accept ourselves (gay, non gay) - it has been like that for several years since birth and untangling from family norms/hierarchies is really tricky as they sometimes even play out even years and years after untangling. that’s actually something women often find out through motherhood or work with children as the moment you become a parent/care taker you realize the mechanisms at work in you - that’s not only happening in parent child dynamics but also in couple dynamics. and most of all it’s a wound in self esteem if there is a factor of personality that might never be fully accepted by one of your parents. i guess especially if the father is unforgiving or only ok if you turn out a certain way it’s difficult, because how could you become yourself entirely if part of you does not accept you the way you are?

@Ya know i guess god didn’t plan completely on monogamy at first - the plan was also not to create such a huge population - as it turns out the plan was small groups and procreation was not meant to be only between men and women but also a form of socializing and sharing love. so the plan was also to create people who were able to see love from a different perspective. you can still love women, that’s one of the fun part, you just do it differently and you can really love the whole spectrum - but of course you are probably selective in other aspects more then.

whatever the reason for the lock on your sexual attractedness to women, you‘ll more likely find out about it if you test on the gay theory - and i mean not with porn, but really going to a gay bar or club and finding out. it’s not that you can’t say stop after you started something there, sometimes i get the feeling that guys who want to find out about being gay or not are afraid to loose their virginity on the spot even if they just start to feel into it. as if the gay men they meet never had the transformational phase of overcoming the preset mindset that the only acceptable way is heterosexuality. who says there is no dissonance between what you want and what you feel is how you should be - there are various different kinds of sexual attraction, unlocking any kind of sexual drive certainly has to do with figuring out what really turns you on in the sexual field. maybe you didn’t find the right way yet - maybe you‘ll need to find the right person yet... maybe unlocking you needs a special kind of chemistry in a person, whatever it is - follow the bunny and the most probable at the moment seems to be a buck.

mhhh light worker... getting a little bit nostalgic everytime i hear it - it’s a little bit like talking about harry potter... what i wanted not to use as an example as in some sense it’s already making the whole theme seem a little bit hogwashed ? but fairytale‘s aside, even if you are a „light worker“ there are still different schools and in magic we still talk about different styles of magica. being a light worker can confuse people massively about what is and is not white magic i would not say that you can devide white magic and black magic in two different schools even though you could say one side knows more about shadows and the other one about light - what might not mean that you could not say they are both devidable into shadow work and light work - i‘d say white magic would maybe more talk about ombra work and light work and then also remind that there is real shadow work. nothingness work has some black hole aspects definitely, i guess that’s the difference i would make - as we all have a tendency to magic. it’s interesting to find out about to which side our tendencies go towards.

@StarStruck you can always try it with the cacado-into-a-cup technique or the it’s-not-what-you-think-it-is technique! both can be very effective.

@Meetjoeblack ?

that’s the most interesting part of it - you think it’s only cryptonite for you but actually realizing that it’s nothing for you will be giving you powers your friends might not have. also think about what you really then envy about your friends - could be that it’s something different than the cryptonite... i don’t think that weed really is much supportive in a spiritual sense, i even think it’s an ego modulator which almost always leads to a more self biased self defensive mindset - i sometimes think it leads oftentimes more to closed doors than to open ones therefore i‘m really biased about weed as a tool to spirituality. i also think it’s one of the drugs almost no one does just once, therefore already thinking it could be used non frequently is a selfdeception - not doing it is the only way of not falling into the trap a drug like weed is meant to be.

lol - it sounds pretty self biased to say that: because you don’t have the insights, i am egotistical to have some. what is egotistical about having insights in how karma works, lol tell the dalai lama he is egotistical because he knows something about how karma works. just because i understand it does not mean i can change it by the way - you can only do that for yourself. maybe then it would be more understandable for you. the only way to understand karma is breaking the negative karmic cycle - what means breaking the structure or habits which bring suffering into the world in a self feeding loop. the reason why we are having this discussion is because the self feeding loop exists. you could also say it’s not a self feeding loop, but a self serving loop in the case of pua - so the problem with pua is that it might eliminate some problems but it also creates more because it’s completely selfserving. backlash pre programmed - in some cases a pretty heavy one.

no i know that this substance interacts so chaotic that it is not even luck anymore but pure randomness - you can have super genetics and it would still fuck you up! it can be cryptonyte for some people - it’s not predictable.

the answer is: water! drink a loooooot of water! and might be that thc just is not so much yours. if we would go on debating about poison or not, i‘d recommend to trust herbs but not this one. or maybe the only thing to be trusted about thc is that it’s not trustable as it completely works different for everyone and it’s not a personal achievement if you can handle it, but a matter of luck like it is to have hay fever or not. there is nothing especially cool about any mysterious plant if you react in an unhealthy way to it.

@Galyna if you believe in karma or not, it is always self created even not by yourself - i guess you already get that - it was not ment to criticize you, but i understand how karma is and is not a challenge. however we use the word and if or if not it interacts with us is beyond our ability to control. i just used your personal example as a possibility to point out general problems of reappearing phenomena. motherhood is a vulnerability i didn’t want to touch but probably did.

because we make it one - that’s one of the teachings that has to be understood. believing that the cycle of karma has a fixed shape exists because of the inability to leave behind the construct of gender norms. if you have a son you probably know that it depends on how emancipated you teach him both rolls if he will get an interesting woman or not, don’t you? - what i realized if i look into generation development is that still most problems develope because of roll modeling issues in families - people then think school could fix these problems or the partner later will fix it, truth is we then have to fix it ourself. that’s why so many people even start with self actualization because a lot of people are having issues somewhere in the rollmodell field - releasing children of the rollmodell issue during childhood is probably still difficult but can be done, especially for boys it’s really important, still so many mistakes there and then they don’t actually really know how the rabbit runs. when i was living in shared housing after a while i didn’t want to accept people who never lived in shared housing before, because they wouldn’t know anything about how to live together with others - but everyone i know who lived in shared housing has improved massively in many aspects. instead of pua i‘d probably recommend living together with strangers/new people first.

yep and then wonder why women refuse to play crash test dummies for the ego. did you ever wonder who exactly ejaculates in your mind?

if there is no difference between the small l and the big l only then you understand the difference between the meaning of limited and abundant. but this means a complete elimination of emphasis. and usually a long way home to where love grows.

i wonder if apples and oranges would admit that they seem to be for sale - i guess most of them would probably deny. it’s not the sex which is for sale. guys don‘t want to admit that, why should they as long as there is a good to trade.

or maybe another way to point it is, that lucid dreaming is some kind of wakedreaming which is in itself mystical - how can you be wake while at the same time asleep? also even though it goes against what i earlier said about not manipulating our ways into it, but i really think about maybe giving lucid dreaming a new shot. some years ago i already tried it but gave up after a while. if i would use melatonin i ask myself if i would start dreaming more again. also found out that clubmoss taken in the evening will enforce dreaming. if i took it, i usually took it in the morning for that reason. seriously starting to have a dream diary could also be an advantage. @King Merk how are the highs and the insomnia connected? are the highs and lows because of things that happened or more connected to your inner rhythm? what kind of neutropics are you taking on regular basis despite the melatonin?

but what do you experience while in the dream? i‘m not talking about a wake experience or the moment of memory. really what is a dream? if it’s not a mystical experience?

not sure about your definition of mystical. but why should a dream not be a mystical experience - it‘s much more a mystical experience than you might think. a dream might be as well a mystical creature, how would you know? or a mystical space you enter leaving your body in another dimension. you can only say it’s non mystical as long as you didn’t explore it yet, a dream is a channel for the sublime, too. even if i would start lucid dreaming, i would also want to get lost sometimes as a dream might be one of the most mystical places you have access to without manipulating your way into it.

no @nahm, but yes words are all just coming from nowhere. a question arises from nowhere. and a word arises from nowhere. there is nothing other than nowhere where words could arise from. channeling always happens out of nowhere that’s the magic about it.

mhhh do you remember the coming of the antichrist? the prophesies point towards so many different happenings and all are in a sense pointing towards the same. but it really depends on who interpreted the same phenomenon - for example there are people who say the age of aquarius is near - also you don’t know exactly if and when a buddha is among us in an earlier reincarnation and what it is which is there to live through to then really change the world and rewire the people into the buddha’s to come devine streangth. a prophesy is a prophesy - some were made to be broken.

you are already in it sweetheart, all the time it‘s just a matter of adjusting the buffer zone and a matter of going from opaque to transparency.

it’s something that has to be addressed systemically in hospitals. also the mask issue has to be addressed at one point also in europe and probably in the us. as multiresistent bacteria will at one point in the future probably be more often a reason for death than cancer. there are more every year. two of the places where they grow really dangerously is factory farming and hospitals - the hospitals in some countries are better in keeping these in check than in others. for example netherlands hospitals are more consequent in executing on hygiene measurements than in for example germany and great britain, where it’s so so. these are systemical problems. i guess the doctors are washing their hands for their own sake... it’s probably not really the handwashing, but other problems like keeping quarantine because of a lack of space and low budget for hygienic measures. snow blindness and stress, and in some sense the invisibility is probably the biggest enemy in hospitals. some intelligent hygienic quality management could probably solve that. one of the most dangerous places where viruses and multiresistent bacteria grow though is in factory farms because they are lacking in hygienic measures and even more ignorantly the animals there are fed with the antibiotics which then won’t work at the hospitals anymore. (well for viruses they don’t work anyways - just wanted to point out the growing threat, but usually antibiotic intake increases potential virus infections so it is all interconnected) i would not care for fashion reasons or whatever people say - people in the west will have to get used to sanity masks in subways in the near future anyways - how funny it might seem, it’s just a matter of time and it’s maybe in some cases more sane than not to.

can we change the title of this thread into: know thy avatar?