Thanks everyone for your replies and inspirational stories.
I can see how I am recreating my problems. I've been told by a few people as of late that I'm overthinking. I can recall being told that in my earlier years. At this point, I'm sure it's true. My problem is I have no concept of the threshold between thinking and overthinking.
Even as I am writing this, I'm debating the legitimacy of every word I write. Am I using this is a therapy session? Am I just wasting people's time?
It's funny, I kind of knew let go was going to be people's advice. maybe I can. Thanks.