Eph75

Learning to say no is important. Usually getting a no doesn't mean much if anything, but saying yes when you don't really want to, or want to for the wrong reasons costs a lot of negative energy. It is much better, and more respectful, to learn self-responsibility and learn to say no than to dodge people based on the risk of ending up in a situation where you get forced into saying yes/can't say no. Also people quickly learn to ask for things from yay-sayers, most likely unknowingly taking advantage of that persons percievable "kindness". But it's not kindness at that point, there is probably some or a lot of resentment underneath your "kindness". Learning to say no is one of lifes important - and hard - lessons. Would you yourself rather get a plain no from someone or would you rather be ignored? With that said, that doesn't mean that you have to let anyone into your life. That's fully up to you choosing, but everything we can do, we can choose to do with self-respect and respect for others.

@TheUniverseIsLove Yes, sometimes things unravel without apparent reason, simply because the time for us, is right.

You can't change people, people change thmeselves. It's not that people don't want to change, they don't want to be changed. So being the catalyzer for change that you are looking to be is difficult, it's an effort that can only be that effort and if it create change is fully up to the individual. So the only thing you can do is to be who you need to be in order to resonate with that individual and communicate with individual i such a way that it creates a space in which he or her can stretch his or hers sense making. Depending on the scenario you can create challenges for that individual that creates an environment in which that someone needs to operate in which it is depanded for he/her to do that stretch. In a work related scenario that could be a challenging promotion or some sort of role that require that individual to adopt skills and abilities that are outside of their current skill set. In a non-work related scenario it becomes a lot more difficult as you can't play on accountability, the individual simple have no reason to accept your challenges except for the simole reason that they themselves find them in some way intriguing. You're left to communicating with them in such a way that they get to stretch their sense making and reasoning to new grounds and thereby trigger developmental growth. Another way to trigger developmental growth is to go through crisis. In a worl related scenario you can implement deliberate "mini crisis" that psychoactivates people in suvh a way that they have to make new sense out of a situation that they previously haven't experiences. In a non-work related scenario, creating crisis would seems a bit sociopathic or even psychopathic. You simply don't have thw right to toy with peoples lives. So you are pretty much left to reasoning with themnand getting them to reason for themselves through coaching like conversations that are deliberately designed to be developmental. With some luck you trigger unvonscious developmental growth / upgraded sense making through such conversations but they are more likely to be rather local than globally psychoactive in such a way that they are more comparable with subliminal messages than actual growth - in a sense manipulativ. In a best case scenario it triggerst a conscious/aware growth which works like a switch, something that switches suddenly, like an a-ha experience leaving the person with a "oh wow, how did I not see that before"-experience that trigger an active hunger for continued growth. So in short, it's a lot about being a spiral wizard in such a way they you communicate with different individuals in different ways so that you offer what that individual needs in the exact time and space to overcome challenges that they themselves are incapable of achieving on their own. A trap with being a catalyzer for others change is that you have a plan for in what way they should change. You can and should only set out to help upgrade their inner sense making process so that they themselves can make sense in a more complex way. What sense that is, that is not up to you to decide. They themselves will sort that out.

It's probably been there all along. It's probably something inside you that have shifted that allows you to pick it up. Like a radio turning its tuning in such a way that it picks up a new and previously unexperienced channel, broadcasting that L, O, V and E. All is good..

@Keyhole Yes I agree with you, he clearly makes sure that being that dependency isn't his cup of tea, but that unfortunatly does not prevent others from making him into their personal tea bag so it can be a one way thing. I don't think that the journal section of the forum represents the people that takes his word as gospel, from what I've seen. The journaling people are likely to be further into own contemplation than blind followers. The blind followers might not be terribly many, but I see them now and again on here.

This stuff appeared out of the blue a month ago, or have you had it for a oong time and it has escalated during this last month? Possibility to stretch towards more sessions even though it is expensive? I don't have any advice for you other than things might look bad but this too shall pass. Do whatever you can to stay strong and stay true to what you evidently still know is right and what is wrong.

@Bazooka Jesus you say that people say, that you are a very talkative guy [at times] but that you yourself say that you are introvert. Are you ok with who you are externally speaking, or are you putting on a facade that is contradicting your inner self, making you torn inside? That kind of stuff can give that kind of sensation when having gone with it for a long time, getting further out of touch with what rings true to you. It's not unusual that introverts feel out of place in this time and age where extroversion is highly and falsely valued. That can also get mixed up with a strong unmet desire, as facades usually mean that inner needs are put aside to fulfull whatever external needs are trying to be met, by putting on that very face/facade. Anywho, just a theory.

Troll or not, it's a valid point. Being too dependent on what Leo says is a problem. He is not much different from anyone else, just a bit ahead of many here, but he just as anyone else have issues, some are obvious, but not to everyone. No one should be put on a piedestal. A lot of people here do do that. Be your own person, have critical thinking and act through personal experiences. Find you own way. Find your own truth. Guidence on the way is pefectly ok, but don't ever make anyone into a false deity, blindly accepting their words as absolute truth.

You are it, always, always have been, but you only know it when you know it, and that's enlightenment. You're already there but you don't see it before you open your eyes, assuming anything else is just adding confusion and making the ones that don't see confused. You can't see until you open your eyes, you are sleeping until you awaken, and when you do, you're still right there, just your consciousness about what that "there" is, is clear and everything is different. Call it whatever you will, call it nothing if you want. Just recognize that your perspective as knowing is not the perspective of the unknowing.

Careful with the advice you all give here, the usual half nonsense advice that gets scattered around on this forum don't feel like a good idea here - likewise - @ethanb121 careful with the advice you take in here. You should probably keep up with professional councelling, I assume that you are already getting that?

Pretty obvious one would think. Your vote of course matters, it's 1/how-ever-many-millions-in-the-country towards what you want. If not getting what you want is a trigger, you're not for democracy. If you don't like the outcome, you can assume responsibility and do what you can to affect the outcome of the next election. It's not about the individual, the individual matter as a 1 of those millions but you as 1 ego a has zero value. However you can influence, family, friends, community and so on.. that is trying to change. Abstaining from voting IMO also invalidates whatever complaints one could have towards the result. Sadly, reality is that it might mean the one election of several "not good" alternatives, but voting for the lesser of the two evils is still the better personal choise. If one is closer or moving towards the outcome one is personally looking for, that's the best you can have at this very moment, and that vote matters, for you and whatever cause you are working towards. If all is shit, get into politics and work for the change you want.

The one doesn't negate the other. The emotions happening are happening inside you, it is not someone else or something else that gives you those emotions, they are happening inside you. Therefore it is only up to you to manage or master your emotions. You can choose to not get angry for example, not to get affects or when you do, not externalize that anger and instead stay with that emotion and explore it, what triggered it, what are your trigger points, why they happen and why you react, are there patterns and so on. Then let go with intention to not get triggered in the future. You are not your emotions, you don't have to let rampant uncontrollable emotions dictate how you feel and react, hence run you life. They are not you, distance yourself from those emotions and allow yourself by adding that distance to more objectively reason around that emotion. But be careful not to push emotions away, that's not the same as mastering them, understanding them, changing how you relate to them. Whatever you push away or box in is going to keep affecting you in an increasing way until the box is full and those boxes up emotions come out in erratic eruptions, very possibly in ways that are hard to derive back to the emotion that was originally rejected. So this and spirituality perfectly complement each other, they are not contradictions. In my opinion understanding and mastering your emotions is a more stable base to stand on and then in the spiritual manner not identify with what is left and will stand up to stressgul situations better without regression than say just detaching from emotions without gaining understanding. Basically two schools that play well alongside each other.

Thumb.. Have no idea where it comes from, I stumbled onto it and it called out to me so there it is, but it is intriguing perception-wise To the rest, no it's not BS, not at all. I'm a pragmatic guy and all that makes sense because it does make practical difference. Nonduality actually changes how my being in this reality. Although I don't follow anything blindly, my own beliefs are a mix of western practical psychology - which goes much hand-in-hand with a lot from eastern religions - and a eastern religion mish-mash and also a lot of own interpretations. But tying down to something singular, such as just Buddhism is to me dogmatic in itself and limits the way in which we can flow through life, morphing/changing. So I believe in... me, whatever me is in this very moment and I'm open to becoming whatever new me is the next, or maybe rather less me and more being. All that is likely to coincide with such teachings, and they already have, but it hasn't been a staked out goal but rather just happened - and - happening.

@purerogue That's not arrogant, and I agree.

@purerogue Yes, of course. Nonduality is a concept in itself, a construction of the human mind. Someone has to transcend the human mind and break the limitations of what we are limited to as humans in order to really know, and that's not within the freedom of the human form. Even with the greatest insights, awakenings, enlightenment or via psychedelics it can not be ruled out that nonduality could be a concept that exists for the sole reason to keep us preoccupied with this nonsense, yet anouther layer of disillusion, a greater trick and anyone claiming otherwise might just be mentally ill. It would not matter how profound the experiences would be. If you don't want to acknowledge nonduality, you're not wrong (with a nondual twist). It doesn't mean that it's right either. So trying to argue something from two different worlds of existence, assuming nonduality is only a concept, it absolutely pointless, but then again, everything is pointless and should not be taken too serious. That concept only disappears when you believe it strongly enough and any other possibility dissappears, and then you are either right - or caught in dogma. But regardless, you are Right. In the sense you can't argue nonduality, as it applies regardless, there not being separation and what really is can never be known.

@Consilience @Consilience great explanation. @Mafortu The answer can thus be yes, your illusion/reality can be a simulation from a duality stace. But something is running that simulation. And that simulation can be running in 1000 other instances of a simulations but at at some point the simulations end, and there is something greater, the one, oneness. From a non-duality stance it doesn't matter how the illusion/reality you are operating in is projected, it is still a projection, and if there is only the one, which there is with oneness, all those simulations are inside it/are a part of it, thus, the higher you, the one with that oneness, can never be within a simulation. That would if so meam that such a simulation has no origin and is not running on anything, and if so, can it be a simulation - no.

Stretch yourself into engaging in a conversation? What's the worst that can happen? Sometimes it doesn't have to be more complicated than that.

@7thLetter let's say that meditation would be a feminine practice, just for the sake of the conversation. How would that make you feel? Would that be a problem for you to engage in? What inside you would feel bad about it? And why?

Anger, apart from being a healty emotional impulse that calls out to you to take appropriate/healthy action, e.g. set outward boundaries when those are crossed, it also is a magnificently destructive coping skill. In other words, if there is something that we are consciously or unconsciously avoiding that we can't handle that is painful we can turn to anger to protect ourselves/ego from that negative feeling. That anger shuts down the circumstances in which our ego becomes vulnerable in respect to whatever the issue is. As the underlying issue can literally be anything and everything, overcoming it takes switching inward focus, finding and addressing that underlying cause. All of your examples are leading to introspection and understanding of your inner workings and hence engaging with that underlying cause.

This. But one of the great lessons to learn in life is to find answers and changes not externally - people, circumstance, objects etc - as it only leads to justifications and blame. E.g. "people are idiots", well no, they aren't, they are and function just like everyone else once you know them and they open up to how they really function. Instead look internally, find your own inner workings and how those play in with what you are trying to achieve, as it is within you that you have the power to create change. Take such a simple thing that it is not they that trigger you when they don't reply, it is you that allow (or choose) to get triggered, based on what emotions and thoughts of yours that are related to those kind of situations. Maybe you've repeated this so many times that it has become an emotional chafing and every time you re-live such a situation it become much more than trivial to you as it is like poking a finger into that pre-exising chafing which understandable is very sensitive. We typically have several such emotional chafings, some people have a lot and we know them as the victim personalities that react strongly against seemingly everything. The answers why this is sensitive are within you, as are the means to overcome those problems. Not with others, that is just a distraction that gets you nowhere. Switch focus from other to self. Do it with self-compassion, don't judge yourself, it only makes things worse. With that said, if they are looking to what you have to offer, and they likely don't answer because they don't see what's in it for them, turn that around onto yourself and into introspection. What is it you need from them and why is that so important? What are you trying to achieve? Whatever that is, it may come out as neediness, which isn't very attractive. Online messaging makes ignoring easy. Personal confrontation makes it harder for the recieving end to reject you/address their inner conflict, but it would still be toxic if you are operating out of neediness. Understanding yourself and letting go ultimately allows you to operate from another place than need and desire, and that is when the recieving end starts seeing somthing more interesting in you. Paradoxically, at that point you can "have it" but you no longer "need it", whatever that "it" is. That's a point where people all of a sudden might want to be around you to absorb some of your radiating energy. They desire something from you. Getting there isn't easy, it takes long, hard and self-honest introspection and practice.

Excerpt from the forum guidelines.

Just because women are generally speaking the oppressed gender, doesn't automatically mean that there are no men that are oppressed in some kind of situation/way. Some cases where women have the "upper hand" have already been mentioned here. Anywho, The Red Pill is an interesting documentary related to that subject. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3686998/

First stage of meditation is reaching access concentration. When you do the breath typically gets very shallow and then parts of the body can get numb, tingle and other things. For me my fingers typically feel like they're numb and point in strange directions. The breath can get so shallow that you feel like taking a deep breath, but don't. Ther may be invoulentary "gasps" for air, don't pay attention to it. Just stay with it, don't bother too much about what happens, it will disrupt your concentration and prevent you from moving on to deeper states where even more fun stuff happens.