Eph75

Duly noted. I'm assuming that you are from Sweden. Feel free to add nuance, always curious on adding perspectives.

There were several parts in that paragraph that could be looked at individually, but ultimately the hypothesis is mine based my own sense-making in turn based on a multitude of information, interviews with police officers (among others, this is not limited to law enforcement) and the progression of the discussion climate throughout the years here in Sweden, and it seemingly getting closer to reaching a pinacle.

A toxic reactions to a toxic phenomenon. In Sweden e.g. police officer do not dare do their job properly due to the risk of consequences, which has produced a blunt police force that is unable to address increasing problems with brutal crime. The reasons for this are complicated and highly political. One can see that such laws would make it harder or impossible to create media hunts against police officers that actually enforces the law, making this out to be more about race than the actual crimes committet, a side-effect of the paradoxal contradiction of post-modernism views, something that Sweden is struggling with. France is of course not like Sweden, in many ways, so I can't relate Sweden's going-on with those in France. Above is under the assumption that the actions of the police are supported by the generally accepted views on morale and laws. So from this perspective, they could "help" with specific percieved problems. From the freedom of speech perspective and the right to critically review the actions of the people of and function of the state, it is highy problematic. Even if the above morale and law perspectives are fulfilled within the actions themselves, it is highly problematic. Of course, if there is police brutality or racial biases and so on thrown in the mix, it will act as a veil to allow covering up or diffusing the immoral going-ons within state interference with expected freedom(s) and rights. A phrase like “physical or psychological integrity” becomes much too vague to ensure high morality behind the judgement of the individual cases. There's much room for interpretation of the underlying intensions, room for interpret action that would be nice to get cleared away, to better understand what the problem they are trying to address with this law really is.

Depends on what your idea of values and purpose are. Getting people to like you for the sake of "having" people that like you isn't useful except from an egocentric world view. On the other hand, slapping difficult truths in the face of someone that is incapable of using that information is not helpful at all. It is more likely to raise defenses and grow resentment. There's a middle road, a deliberately supporting route; not telling them what they want to hear to get them to like you, and instead helping them navigate their selves/own reality in better ways, so that they can grow over time and become better at noticing their own limitations or even work on their issues, even if this is without being directly aware of it. Deliberately designed sense-making conversation have that effect, helps the ones you talk to structure their thoughts in such a way that they allow themselves to stretch their reasoning by provinging beneficial circumstances and settings in which growth is most likely to be possible to happen. They themselves arrive at new, usually smaller iterative, yet sometimes great, insights that are transformational, that changes the how in the way we think. Again, doing this takes time, effort and patience. The outcome is unknown so it has nothing/less to do with what your own wants and needs are and is centered on the other person's need to grow and what kind of sense and meaning they will make up for themselves is up to them. Desire to change people in some particular way is telling you that you are in it for change that is of personal gain, that of your ego. "Pure" desire of helping people help themselves can still come from an egocentric world view, such as the need of achivement, social status, acceptance and acknowledgement of others, but is more "flavor-less" and less biased. The desire to help others can, and will, grow into something ever increasingly selfless. Finding balance is through the detachment of the desire to create change in others, so that the absolute freedom to help people can emerge, such change that is at the pace and susceptibility based only on support without any expectations. Working from such a position makes it all about that change work and not about expectations of change. Having desires and expectations coming from emotional attachment to reaching particual results are met by opposites in form of disappointment in self and resentment agains other. That's why it's important to grow ourselves in order to be able to help others grow themselves; helping ourselves to become increasingly better at helping others to better help themselves.

Seeking starts as escaping suffering out of the desire for happiness. Finding is the removal of, or rather disidentification with, the suffering that is, and the desire of escaping that which is. A lack of expectations on and desires of removes the flavor of the question. If happiness is the removal of such impact, of what is, there is no happiness to find and only something to loose. Addition by reduction. There needs to be a desire to start looking for something other, that's perfectly alright. And there needs to be the invalidation of that need for seeking, to find that there was nothing needed to find, rather to gain the ability to wakingly see that which is and the purity of that experience. Happiness becomes just a word.

It's easy to get fixated on the products or services such a business would offer/sell, but it is equally so, I'd say more so, about values and people inside of such organizations and how they organize and interact, and how management of such an organization appears, or appears "less managerial", or as not being managed, while still apparently ordered by management, around a system that is flat/flatter with higher levels of sense of personal/intrinsic responsibility among everyone "participating" in such an organization. A true sense of self-organization around higher purpose and higher values than "making money" or finite targets within imaginary time frames such as yearly budgets. Sustainability of course becomes key and unity goes beyond a sense of "community" or "family" - resources, worldly, material, psychological and so on, holistic approach. Values include impact on lives, inside and outside of the organizations and not necessarily targets work that is per definition about humanity, meta-perspectives go way beyond the purpose on the market alone. Business becomes a game/play rather than a need to make money, fame, traditional success, approval, hierarcial social ladder needs that are filling deficiency needs. Focus, is towards fulfilling being needs of self, entity and world. Lines becoming increasingly blurred out between work and non-work. People no longer think of businesses as work but a calling to becoming what they need to be, resistences fall. Going to work is self-expression. A note here is also that, the people in such organizations themselves don't need to be at the same level of development, or having the awareness of such development, but instead is allowed to express and exercise themselves at their best brought out by the structure and systems arranged by the deliberate design of the business itself. In that sense such organizations themselves become a growing-ground for further, and accelerated societal developmental growth, for the sake of such being-cognition values on its own. A kind of kindergarten that just like childrens kindergarten offer a growing ground for developmental growth and preparation for the adult life, this becomes a kindergarten for adults to continue to mature past adolescens spiritually speaking and becoming true adult in an integrated, more holistic sense of the word. Not obsessively focused on what we do, and instead [non-obsessively] on how we do and the impact of that doing, in the now, short term and long term. Without any ideological stance. *Being* Similar businesses start formning a sort of informal support system for mantained sustainability of mankind itself, that ensures perpetual coexistence with ever increasing automation, robotics, AI and so forth, where the labour of man becomes an ever decreasing need.

@Gesundheit the countries that are biased towards greater acceptance of self-expression is typically countries that are more/better functioning from the larger perspective. That doesn't mean that some toxicity can't form around whatever self-expression that appears, but in long term I believe that it has always shown to be contributing towards progression of increasingly healthy societies.

@Someone here That has more to do with suppression of sexuality than it has to do with inherent sexuality. It being forbidden doesn't mean that such women are not curious about and attracted to that which is "absolutely forbidden". It's much like saying that people in places where homosexuality are strictly forbidden do not have inherent homosexual tendencies. This is pretty interesting, what is and what is not natural. If nature allows it to be possible, practically speaking, then it is natural. What is impossible in nature is unnatural, e.g. birds can fly & people can't [without machines]. Everything is just bias towards different perspectives, and such bias is subjective, such as this bias. If the goal is to reach orgasm, and anal sex makes you reach orgasm, possibly easier than traditional sex due to psychological factors, then it can be seen a tool to reach a goal. If you like it or not, if a society likes it or not, if it's repressed or denied or not, that's irrelevant from an individual perspective. We're touching another interesting topic, and that's the need and demand for self-expression, or the suppression of self-expression and how this is differently accepted in difference societies/countries.

Absolutely not. Openness and vulnerability is key to growth. Still, also self-deception is something that needs to be explored in the self-actualizing journey. It's easy to build a narrow path of exploration and not taking on a more holistic perspective on being-ness and needing-ness. Looking at it [more] objectively, posting does produce attention, and affirmation will follow, especially in a loving and accepting community, and especially through such acknowledgement that rubs us right. These rubbings produces serotonin and a temporary high, it simply makes us feel good. Dopamin follows which encourages us come back for more, and posting of new things, the chase for more serotonin. If not careful, the journey can take a turn that becomes centered around such gratification rather than being self-change oriented. It's important to look for such patterns in our behavior and ask ourselves such tough questions as am I deceiving myself by doing this and is this the ego at play trying to fulfill its deficiency needs. Own self-deceptions are not easy to spot. And indications from others are easily shot down as being projections. Self-deception including but of course not limited to above. In that sense, we can learn to better accept feedback and criticism and allow them to become indicators for self-inquiry.

@Preety_India Also, as I mentioned earlier, where the guilt/shame comes from is worth exploring as well. As you probably already know, what is taboo or that which we deem is wrong or strange often carry an attraction with it. Things like this can carry an excitement with it that is coming from it in that sense being forbidden. And it can become something of an obsession/compulsion. Making it accepted, through self-acceptance, can very well reduce, remove or change that attraction. In any case, getting rid of the guilt is a win-win, and would be a perspective changer, regardless what the next step would turn out being.

@Preety_India Being authentic is important as it dictating our self-esteem and self-worth; to be able to be and express who we really are, and align with our morality. Not having that alignment reduces our self-worth and guilt and shame arises. Feelings of irrational guilt is very destructive, and we should eliminate all aspects of irrational shame and guilt. If you really want to enact these ideas, but you restrict yourself from doing so, out of shame or guilt, that's keeping you from being authentic. Sometimes fantasies are only that, fantasies, and not much more, without any desire to enact them. Here the important thing here is to not let such thoughts create irrational guilt and shame. No one can give you the answers you seek, you need to come up with the answer yourself. My advice is develop your assertiveness, by not asking others what to do, instead use others for extended reasoning and to shine light on that which is hard for yourself to see, so that it can bring clarity, so that you find your answer. Perhaps another advice as well; Don't take yourself nor life too seriously. Life is a mere game, it's a playground, play it well, for your enjoyment. Experiment and have fun. There's much less at stake than we make up there to be.

Fear is like an onion, layered; fear percieved as X, when deconstructed, may very well consist of Y and Z, and X was just a distraction. Deconstructing multiple fears usually boil down to few underlying needs that are not met. From this vantage point is is much easier to address that underlying thing. Around these underlying needs we create encapsulations that allow us to navigate around and away from that which is unpleasent. A control mechanism of sorts, a fear of discovery or subjection of that which causes us some sort of pain. Understanding these dynamics redefines what fear is, and, what related anxiety is. It helps with navigating the depth of self, the exploration of ones inner being, and inner wiring, that ultimate can lead to decontruction of whatever that underlying thing may be - uncovering facets of ones ego imposing limitations back on oneself. We may think that we are complicated, but we are not, not really. We've just lost ourselves for a moment. Our reactions are complex and chaotic in the sense that they are not predictible in a linear fashion. Yet, peeling those layers of that onion of ours off, the simplicity of being becomes increasingly unveiled. Try detaching from the what and where fear arises and explore the nature of the experience, and in that sense, peeling off one layer at a time, with loving embrace, to see what is hidden below that which is first percieved.

Attraction that you feel guilt over? How can that be healthy. Whether that is the "sadomasochistic attraction to Dominant males" that makes it unhealthy or the guilt you feel for having that such an attraction, that's something only you can answer. Considering past stories about narcissism, it sounds like a codependency thing, and if so, that makes it not seem very healthy. On the guilt side, what thoughts are connected to this guilt, what is it in this that trigger your guilt?

Can't "make" anyone do anything, rather be who you can to catalyze interest in them, so that one day, they're ready to start their own journey. Notice the desire to share that which we are enthusiastic about. Beware of allowing yourself get demotivated by not having anyone to share with

This book might be interesting to check out. Frederic Laloux Reinventing Organizations: An Illustrated Invitation to Join the Conversation on Next-Stage Organizations

So, this tells us that there is, at least currently, no way to confirm whether or whether not speed of light is the same in different directions. Are there any grounds as to why different speed in different directions would be plausible? E.g. the nature of the universe expansion? Or is it mostly mental masturbation centered around the not knowing?

@r0ckyreed The one feed into the other. Meditation helps with hightening the baseline of calmness of mind and lowering the baseline of intangible, indistinct noise and interfereing thoughts. That in itself helps to let, shall we call it the inner light of infinite creativity, to shine through into your awareness layer and change the dynamics between you and mind, making new connections, see things in new light, notice what could not be seen before, gaining new insight through a-ha moments, flipping switches in ones mind and so on. Some people are naturally [i.e. conditionally already setup to be] better at such deep contemplation without meditation. I myself have always been a deep contemplator since as long as I can remember, very small child age and beyond. With beginning meditation it still added something new to the mix, in a sense the ability to go where I had not gone before, and in such sense, with less self-biased than otherwise would be through more circular reasoning. The letting go of mind through meditation, or even, through inquire and explorations within meditation is naturally complemented with deep contemplation outside of meditation. Also the mind is working hard and baking at ideas and thoughts in the subconscious. Setting us up for new insight when we are ready for them. That's why a general calmness of mind through-out the entirety of our waking-and-sleeping hours is important for the development of cognitive and consciousness abilities. If the mind is noisy, it's baking at stuff that won't benefit us, with increased distraction as a result.

A comment about this, as I just mentioned the voice briefly. Awareness of this internal voice and dialog is fundamental. It's a great step towards becoming able to take a step away from "it" - ego and its voice - and observe "it" and what "it" is doing and how "it" affects us. Actively doing this, and gradually raising the awareness of when, and how "it" is operating through imposing limiting attributes, will allow us to, and to more efficiently so, address those limitations, so that we gradually deconstruct the negative and limiting aspects of our ego. The resistance you are mentioning, this is just one aspect of the ego that we benefit greatly from working on deconstructing. In a sense, this resistance aspect is quite fundamental as it allows ego to maintain status quo, its main line of defense so-to-speak, i.e. ego protecting itself from deconstruction. Authenticity is in a sense is our Excalibur, that will guide us through the great inner spiritual conquest against the ego.

@Roy ?? @electroBeam Two parts of an emerging path that complement each other beautifully ?

Oh my, that turned out longer than intended -- @Roy If there was a quick and easy solution to this, that could be sold, someone would get rich, fast. It's basically about personal authenticity, to show up being and doing what your morality tells you that you want or should be and do. There's no "perfect" here, all we can do is to acknowledge when we're not being authentic and then work ourselves into greater levels of authenticity. There will always be challenges that are too great, anxiety inducing and off-putting. There are more or less difficult challenges in life. A lot of things that can't seem to get done are easy, and small, and just a quick decision away. Yet, there is something in-between authentic thought and being authentic that is hard to pin down. That or rather the dynamic between you and that need to change so that you shift towards being authentic more often than not. Awareness when this happens, of course, is key. But what next? With awareness comes the awareness of ego actively talking ourselves out of taking such action that makes us authentic. How do you need to handle that voice in your head, that monkey companion that never seems to shut up or cheer us on into the right direction? That seems to work hard at shifting us towards taking the easier, most effortless route, all the time, to do nothing or waste time on simple distractions such as surfing the web, refreshing social media waiting for something new to show up, playing video-games, watching movies/TV-series and so on. That thing that needs to change is hard to name. There are a combination of factors that collaborate to help flipping an unnamed switch, that thing. Such factors as intention, strategy and pure will-power all add up to being better at handling those switch-flipping moments when they present themselves. Notice how intrinsic motivation trumps all, if there is something that carry the label should or must, we have a hard time doing. But if there's something in us, intrinsic motivation, that puts a label want onto something, there's usually no stopping us. So how do we turn should or must into want? Jedi mind-games. What could start with trivial things, such simple things as always picking up stuff that is lying around, when you see them, no exceptions. Notice that without incorporating intention and will-power, nothing will happen, and strategy most certainly help to follow-through. You spot a pair of yesterday's socks on the floor and you just pick them up, that was your intention, and put them in the clothes basket, using will power. Repeating the process will start to feel the satisfaction of becoming "a person that puts dirty clothes where they belong", and you get a wee shot of serotonin every time you do, and, soon enough you will get dopamin levels going when you catch the scent of dirty socks From here is till be easier to stack other similar habits on top of that one insignificant action, from socks to all clothes, perhaps to make the bed every morning, no exceptions. Same thing happens again. You start identifying with being a person that "has a tidy bed all day, every day". Moving on to, e.g. unloading the dishwasher every morning, and putting dirty dishes back in it. You become identified with someone that "keeps a neat kitchen". And from here is becomes really easy to become a "tidy person". These chores are also in a sense redefined from being things that need to be done, to quests for being authentic, where intrinsic motivation probably is higher than with picking up smelly old socks. It also not longer matter whose socks they are, that's beside the point, and the quest. Tougher challenges await, but from what changes you've gone through, you have also redefined yourself from "being unauthentic" to "being someone that is becoming increasingly authentic every day", and that switch-flipping unknown thing that resides inside us hold less resistance than it used to. Perhaps you're still not ready for tackling the big dragons. Just make it about becoming ever more authentic and walk-your-thought. You will become identified with "a person that changes ones life", and when that is our identity, difficult challenges and large thresholds become "more manageable" to approach. Seems very easy, feels very hard, astoundingly easy to change.

I just sing "I'm a Barbie girl"... same same and not different

@Preety_India Yes, of course. Yet, the nature of the emotional attachment to beliefs/ideas of how things should be and play out dictate how you perceive the happenings in any given scenario. Assume something happens, that is "bad", here are two possible scenarios: - Scenario 1: the ego has created limitations that make things that happen appear to "happen to you" , leaving you a victim to circumstances and with a sense of powerlessness. That story is about you, and the bad things that happened to you. And, a feeling that there's nothing you can do about this. - Scenario 2: the ego is not/less involved, things that happen just "happen". It wasn't specifically about you, there was no elaborate plan to do "bad" against you or do you wrong. It happened, there were circumstances and reasons that made it happen, and you were absolutely there and a part of it, but it didn't happen "to you". And, you don't become a victim under those circumstances, you may remain powerful. That's the story that prevails. These two scenarios carry two very different stories that will impose very different effects on you. Some people get crushed by things happening to them, they struggle, maybe even give up, maybe for the rest of their lives. Other people strangely grow and exit stronger, with a sense of having become "reborn", even though what happened was "bad" or worse. The outcome is depending on ones ego limitations. What he did, you can't change, what happened did happen. How the ego dictate the story, that is something you can own. So the choice to make the story different is within your power. An interesting thing with stories and perspective shifts, is that they do change the past. The past is residing in your thoughts, and the thoughts are in the present. Changing your stories and shifting perspectives changes the meaning of the happenings of the past. What happened still happened, but the meaning carried by what happened can dramatically change. That power is inside you. And who knows, maybe at some point, when the narratives have changes, and perspectives have shifted, there can be true loving forgiveness, and letting go, even of "him".

@Preety_India Sorry for that For example: This happens because the ego is strong/limiting. Instead, this will happen when the ego is deconstructed/not posing limitations. The only selfish act would be setting ones actual needs aside to try to fulfill the pathological needs of ones ego. No (i.e. less dominant) ego results in no feeling of selfishness, no judgement against self nor others, no sense of nor lack of self-importance, no victim-hood. And, no limitations in helping others. Taking above into account, demonizing "him" is strong ego acting out, by upholding self-importance, in various ways, even though it means stuck with suffering. Reading this block, the only thing it says is "to me?", "on me?", "me so badly?", "hurt me/loved me?", "unfair", "use me", "care about me", "hurt me", "manipulate me", "not cared about me", "hurt me?" Strong ego makes this replay over and over again, reliving the past in the now by exercising the thoughts which means reliving the pain and suffering over and over again, while maintaining ego self-importance - again - even though that is irrational and through suffering. It's not the idea of "him" that you need to let go of. It is something in you that you need to come to terms with, and let that go. That "something" lives in the stories about "you" that happen to include "him". This may seem counter intuitive, but it's not. Reality as you experience it is created, and happening in you. The stories made up is created by you. The emotional attachments and triggers are in you. None of this is with "him", regardless of what he actually did to you. This might not be helpful to you, where you are right now, but considering the amount of work that you are putting into yourself in your self-actualization, I assume working towards awakening and some day enlightenment, I hope that it will be enough to start to unravel what it is inside yourself keeping you stuck. "He" is distraction, and thinking that "he" is the problem is what is trapping you. If "he" isn't "it", then what is "it" and how can you shift focus to "that"? That's the key to the paradigm shift that you need. Whatever that is, it is "you" and can be released with realizing self-love.

@Preety_India There is significant self-deception lurking in the shadows of your posts. It is up to you to spot what that is - a start/clue is to delve deeper into what curve-balls "ego" throws us, and explore how we get decieved by it and in what unthought-of ways it could manifest without us being aware of it going on. Your reactions are more about you than about others. It always is. And that's where progression lies. Going the other way, expect gridlocks and wild goose-chases.

@Preety_India Notice how the ego makes it all about you. And notice how the stories are very elaborate. Also notice how the stories strengthen your "rights" and demonize his "wrongs". In this process you make a permanent place for these stories to live on, casting shadows of the past over your present, a dusk falling over you like a damp, heavy blanket. Notice how our self-importance grows by repeating these kind of stories. They makes us feel anger and with it comes an infective and addictive false sense of power. Letting go of him requires letting go of your stories about you-and-him. Taking the negative energy away from fueling the stories. Packaging him in such a heart shaped box and letting it go, with love, is in that sense rather that letting go of your stories. The stories are easier to take responsibility for than taking responsibility for "him" and "his words" appearing in your thoughts. When the stories goes, he will follow. Living in the now prevents these stories from being. Being in the moment is being in a storyless space. Being in the past or the future both cast such shadows over the present. In this very moment, nothing else than your awareness exists.