FabulousKitchen

@Leo Gura True. Except I see fear of unknown, as related to culture wars for example. It's all love anyways, but how to bridge that gap is important to me (a lot of people) lately, I'm sure

Endurance. Physical endurance breeds psychological and emotional endurance

Environmental Engineering? (noise pollution is an interesting segment that might appeal to sociology)

@Leo Gura How can fear be misaligned with hate? I see how hate is rooted in fear, but it's like–not common knowledge

I don't think your friend can read your mind that doesn't seem like a fair thing to assume about your mentality or your confidence. We accept the love we think we deserve (wall flower quote, yes, it's legit though). While he is far away, it's still possible to meditate on your truth. Your truth of your experience is valid, don't let other people try to interpret your reality for you–don't live according to the illusion. Asking for advice is still okay, but I hope you can find the answers from your individual insight–your truth. Youtube Life coaches like Michelle Lee Nieves, Nu Mindframe, Lisa A Romano and Teal Swan are super helpful Imo (Leo is a great source as well on youtube, but I'm offering some examples of women for help as well)

Do you think tongue length correlated to the evolution of humans? Also: is eye-contact exclusively correlated to anxiety? Or is it more than that, is it a sign of other things (holding eye contact/not holding eye contact)

@bejapuskas Noted, and noted. Yes silent eye contact would be ideal but I'm rather picky at the moment (working on it?) I listen to music at full volume with headphones, damn it (will work on it)

@bejapuskas I don't know, it just came up in my head. It hurts so bad to bite your own tongue, that must be a sign of something. Like, are tongues getting in the way and causing pain from chewing? Do we learn to chew slower? More mindfulness while chewing is fine, but–our tongues do heal fast, but it's still painful. Also with the eye contact, I need to look away for given portions of dialogue because I look away to "visualize" what I'm talking about. It feels like I'm multitasking while talking and maintaining eye contact, because I need to visualize what I'm trying to explain or describe. It depends on the context of the conversation, but it's very difficult to do a presentation for a group of people in class for example, because eye contact is an exertion of some kind. To explain an equation to someone and hold eye contact is like driving and texting, or like reading a book and watching a movie, or painting realism and dancing, or shimmying. Looking at the wall or some inanimate object always seems to be my "drafting table" mid-conversation. I don't know if that makes sense.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heyoka I love this question lol (I geek out below) "The heyoka is a contrarian, jester, and satirist, who speaks, moves and reacts in an opposite fashion to the people around them." Humor and comedy serve as palatable approaches to initiating change (in a positive way ideally). Laughter is a form of medicine, I think there is this saying "laughter is medicine for the soul" I also think crying is another form of medicine. It's like, sorrow and humor are very different sensory experiences with emotion. Different emotions exist as the spice of life, because (from what I understand) we are meant to experience the fullness of life. As whole individuals, and as multidimensional beings, it's important to embrace and validate all aspects of our emotional experience. However learning how to experience a wide range of emotion in a healthy way (an excess of an emotion or a stunted emotion for example are signs of energetic stagnancy –as red flags) is an individual challenge/journey.

Lisa A Romano is honestly one of my favorite life coaches on youtube. The way she articulates emotional hurdles is comforting, because I feel less alone when I listen. What you're going through is unfortunately normal in many relationships because a vast portion of the population is unconscious to ancestral codependency. Let alone the stigmas surrounding mental health and difficulty care-taking due to lack of general knowledge (stigma creates a cycle that only exacerbates mental health epidemic, which makes problems harder to solve). It helps me to listen to life coaches on youtube because they truly understand the scope of trauma psychology in relationships. I have a whole playlist on youtube, so for there is like 110 videos with different content creators. I left a toxic relationship, and self-help videos are my saving-grace when it comes to re-learning my independence. Please be careful, try not to see your partner as a project or someone you can heal. She needs to heal herself, I think it's honorable that you're helping her or at least being there for her. However, mental illness needs to be taken very seriously in relationship dynamics (I learned the hard way). Codependency between people needs to be reassessed consistently to avoid any unhealthy attachments or abusive dynamics. Your feelings matter, you are sovereign @bmcnicho. Healthy detachment is difficult in a relationship where the person makes you feel guilty for expressing your needs. Healthy detachment is not supposed to be conflated with abandonment. If your partner suffers from abandonment trauma, I strongly urge you to seek professional help. Trauma healing between individuals is something that might need to be mediated with a counselor.

@Cocolove have you considered paying mortgage for a tiny home to move onto a plot of land? That is not a super refined plan, but it seems feasible

@Yog did you just speak on behalf of Sigmund's likes... as if

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” Maya Angelou

proc·la·ma·tion /ˌpräkləˈmāSH(ə)n/ Learn to pronounce noun noun: proclamation; plural noun: proclamations a public or official announcement, especially one dealing with a matter of great importance. "Eisenhower signed a proclamation admitting Alaska to the Union" synonyms:decree, order, edict, command, rule, ruling, announcement, declaration, pronouncement, statement; More the public or official announcement of an important matter. "the government restricted the use of water by proclamation" a clear declaration of something. "the proclamation of his passion" Origin late Middle English: via Old French from Latin proclamatio(n- ), from proclamare ‘shout out’ (see proclaim). Source This definition was prompted by hearing Leo say "self proclaimed atheist" in his recent blog post. The word "self-proclaimed" stuck out, and I had to google proclamation. This seems to be a relevant term in culture war dynamics, politics, and existentialism in conjunction with trade.

@gunpas they're not humans... so I find sex dolls to be red flag of trends towards inhumane treatment of relationships and sex. Fucking plastic is not immoral, its the principle of the trend that I think is awkward and annoying and lazy.

@loub thank you, that helps in a reassuring way.

If trauma from young age still interrupts behavior, will that trauma response ruin the intimacy of relationship? Is that going to be shame worthy? Is it something to be embarrassed about? Also, should people in a relationship be aware of these traumas to "fix" or heal, or to have safe space for? Should this be healed alone, or within the couple dynamic? or both?

https://soundcloud.com/fadermedia/fader-mix-sweyn-jupiter

Are you able to fund a 3rd party affiliated domain link? Like Wix, Bluehost, or Upwork, or Squarespace are examples of websites that I consider using for a freelance writing portfolio. I used to use Tumblr to post my writing as well, but it seemed to backfire on me. I agree, it doesn't seem the same as I remember it years ago. It's like, in my experience posting work on social media, the situation seemed to take more, it felt like a taking energy. It's as if it wasn't a fulfilling experience... I would recommend setting up your own domain to publicly share your written work, or I suppose posting it on social media could be a free alternative. It all just depends on resources, comfortability (social circle and risk for bullying), or if it's constructive. p.s. always ignore bullies, I needed to add that. It's like be aware of them, but still ignore them. Its hard to explain.