Thomas

Now.

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Dr Nathaniel Branden is an absolute must read, do not be deceived by the title and making an assumption that self-esteem doesn't directly correlates with being assertive. The definition and comprehending what self-esteem is and is not will help or even solve entirely the problem with Your lack of assertiveness. I can't emphasize enough how important is to DO exercises from this book. The more you surrender to the fear of someone's disapproval, the more you lose face in your own eyes, and the more desperate you become for someone's approval. Within you is a void that should have been filled by self-esteem. When you attempt to fill it with the approval of others instead, the void grows deeper and the hunger for acceptance and approval grows stronger. The only solution is to summon the courage to honor your own judgment, frightening though that may be in the beginning. ~Nathaniel Branden

@Sigma I could never relate more to what You've said. I'm a caveman, living in the forest, sitting in my comfy chair with a book or laptop checking the effects of blue light on melatonin production and circadian rhytm. When it comes to social interaction, especially topics people talk about, like how the girl other girls don't like looked on the party, some facebook drama, how life is hard and they have to get up early and the weather is fucked. I'm like.. ehh.. What's the point? But... Since I got into pickup I changed my attitude a little bit. I'm looking for ways to amuse myself no matter what kind of conversation is going on with what kind of people. Try to literally do and say what I perceive as fun, as long as I'm conscious / empathetic to other people's feelings (It doesn't mean I don't make people angry - just don't reach the point of being sociopathic asshole.) They are talking shit? So what?! Let's make it interesting, maybe ask a serious question, You have A LOT of power to influence where the conversation is going if You have the vibe, You're the one who has the most fun - People never want to ruin fun, they wil follow and if they don't - You don't need them anyway, but there will be always some amazing person who can teach You something. Maybe not literally by giving You information about psychology phenomenon, but people always give feedback in terms of their body language, face mimics, energy they send - You can sense how people feel while being around You and from that point You'll learn to actualize yourself, not put necessarily anyone down, not judge by comparing to Your agenda and world perception. You will really get outside of Your mind, You will feel like a spirit of pure energy / vibe & it is a very cleansing experience to have genuinely good time & be happy with the people You perceived as shallow, unresourceful. You can bring and take value from something potentially invaluable, create happiness from such small, mundane acts.

You know I couldn't lie to You! - (I'm doing it right now and I will push every button to get what I want) He/she is just in the right place of his/her life. - (What a fucking loser wasting his/her life and potential, disgusting!) I'm intellectually superior to him/her. - (Am I?)

"The War of Art" AND "The Professional" both by Steven Pressfield. I'm very much into the concept of turning Pro from an amateur, read one of those two every single month to verify what flaws I make and what I need to actualize - in some wierd way I consider these books a bible for me, very applicable and universal concept. I hate reading. I love to elevate my comprehension, analyze every possible application for a single scheme - I do that through reading, it takes me considerably much more time to get through a book, because I pause every time I stumble upon an idea from the book and try to find correlation between what I know from other concepts, books, personal experiences and thoughts - Trying to reinvent my perception and comprehension of mechanisms / rules that exist in the world, human psychology, etc. In other way, I'm just an overthinker lol @Emilio The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome by Harriet B. Braiker, PhD - AMAZING book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr Robert A. Glover - Very good aswell

@DizIzMikey Eat clen, tren hard, anavar give up! Just kidding. There is nothing special or impressive about my physique, the picture was taken in a good lighting (it's 90% illusion game), 2 weeks before competition for which I had to basically starve my body from caloric deprivation in order to lower my bodyfat levels - You muscles look more defined then because the amount of adipose tissue between muscle and skin is diminished, but You're flat - That's why physique guys, fitness models are injecting some type of testosterone into their body to stay full & big. Decent physique is maintainable throughout a year if You're consistent and conscious about what You're eating - Most individuals can have a nice sixpack in 10-12% BF range and stay healthy, not lethargic or hungry all day long due to ghrelin : leptin imbalance. Restricting calories is not fun though - I never recommended anybody to be on deficit (diet) more than 12 weeks. PM me if You'd like to ask anything - I'll try to share what I know.

Mentors, icons come and go, they are like vessels through which intelligence / inspiration / consciousness / whatever You call it comes out and that stream of bliss remains seemingly the same, even though the sources are changing throughout the time. - That's basically what I've observed as my life goes on. Dou You like peanut butter? I'm serious

That is very relatable. I'm bought into the idea of nothingness (which is already a thing if You make an idea of it) from OSHO's books and every time at the beginning of meditating session (strong determination sitting if You will) my mind is like a part of an atom, constantly moving in all directions, I have all that concepts of my ankles touching the ground inducing very painful, uncomfrotable feeling I can sense even before starting. I have a concept about what will happen to my body, what I will feel and how big Resistance I will feel against it. The more I sit, the harder those thoughts are hitting me until I reach a point of submission, letting go of an idea that I AM, I FEEL, I HAVE A MIND AND THOUGHTS. There is noone to feel the pain. There is no mind to start thought process. What happens I cannot fully describe. Think of it as "I" no longer exists. The mind is off. Thoughts are off. That kind of insight is short in terms of time, but is like a touch of the eternity. Plus after the session going back into normal standing possition takes me good 3 minutes, because of the pain I feel, but how hard I laugh doing it is remarkable - I have no idea why I'm laughing, someone please tell me

If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation. ~OSHO

Poland

The SHIFT is better, more in-depth focused on inner game - once You've got intrinsic motivation and drive, You can go, fail, figure shit out for yourself. The practical techniques may vary for many PUAs, but You'll develop Your own style based on your character. The inner game will teach You how to embrace it. If I'd have to choose between The PIMP and SHIFT - I would make a SHIFT

Science (scientific method) is not by any mean the absolute way of life. It is a tool created by humans, an imperfect way to explain and help us understand the world and life around us. It isn't the life itself. Try to explain nothingness and it will become a concept. We created the code, the words and numbers to conceptualize and discover the applicable laws and relations between them. Yes they work. Yes, we can evaluate our comprehension and cognition through them. But the limit is the code itself.

I've been struggling with superiority complex (actually false self-esteem perception) for years and I would lie if I said I'm done with it completely, but I reduced it and what's more important - became aware of it so I can manage it. What helped me is better understanding of what self-esteem is and what it's not, provided by Nathaniel Branden in his book "The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem" or more in-depth "The Psychology of Self-Esteem". Before I read it, my mind was constantly playing a psychological game of non-stop competition and comparing with others which resulted into workaholism and trying to outsmart, outperform everyone in my surroundings - very neurotic behavior. Long story short - I ended up with chronic depression and beating myself up for every single imperfect action I made. Meditating also helped extremely.

Repression leads to perversion. Do not run from it. Do not place judgement on Your feelings. Analogically I could perceive the feeling of depression and decrease in vibration levels as something BAD and try to ignore / deny / avoid it and have a deep belief that it is not supposed to be happening to me. That is bullshit, my friend. It is happening and has a very good reason to, but You won't discover why unless You will allow it to go through You and experience it fully. I had periods in my life, when I was acting like a misogynistic asshole who's driven by primal instincts and just wants to put his dick into a warm hole without having any genuine interest of other human being feelings, thoughts, spiritual connection, as well as periods in which I had close to no identity, no agenda, taking depthful pleasure from sitting half a day in complete silence alone or taking a walk and listening closely to a random girl's story about her passion for dancing, being surprised how amazing feeling it is to see that spark in her eyes when she's demonstrating specific, profound details I didn't even know exist. The trick is not to supress it, but to surpass it. Enlightment is a grind, progressive work that adds slowly over the course of time.

@Saitama You have limited amount of time You can spend, so You cannot get it all. While everything in life has its price - a sacrifice You have to make in order to master certain craft or just become more than average. What's a better thing to choose? - Grinding 400 more hours digging, thinking, veryfing claims about one concept or theory nobody is willing to work on and potentially discovering a milestone or be just all around decent astrophysicist, but with athletic physique? It is Your decision to make what areas are worth investing into, as You're the one to pay for it. Similar thing is with most fitness models that have nothing to do with actual fitness as they're injecting exogenous hormones into their body, taking diuretics and drugs to function with bodyfat levels so low, carrying amounts of muscle mass they wouldn't be normally able to carry while they're risking liver shutdown and heart disease. It is the price they are willing to pay. It is not in my judgement to decide whether it's worth it or not since that's not me paying the price. As @Phocus said You can obtain extraordinary results by focusing on one subject at the expense of other areas of life and it is very true.

Caffeine is associated with a reduced risk of Alzheimer's, cirrhosis, liver cancer, type 2 diabetes and seems to be beneficial for liver function. Ironically while moderate consumption of coffee is considered to be protective against cardiovascular disease, the high coffee consumption on the other hand is one of the causes of cardiovascular diseases. I wouldn't recommend going above 500 mg a day (which is about 4-5 cups depending on type of coffee and its caffeine content) even though 1000 mg is the upper limit for most people before starting to develop serious health problems over time, with the dose of about 10 grams being lethal. Generally try to keep it as little as possible as long as You are getting the benefits of it - no further increase in consumption is needed. If You are getting anxious, fatigued, have irregular heartbeat, insomnia, high blood pressure - You're simply consuming too much caffeine and it is a point where risks and potential health issues are rising while benefits start diminishing. Slow down. Regular caffeine consumption leads to tolerance, which means the effects will diminish and this is one of the reasons You should consider doing a 2-3 week break from it about every 3-4 months I would say. *Take into consideration that You can become addicted to anything, because of how it makes You feel or what emotions You associate with it. It is up to Your psychology, not the substance. If You find yourself relying too much on the external stimulus - work on Your mindset or exclude the thing You're dependent on. I don't like the tase of coffee, but absolutely love green tea to an extent of drinking 4-5 l of it every single day at some point of my life and ended up with blood markers indicating going towards metal poisoning, so I had to taper it down. If You drink enough water at the first place (at least 3 l) one or two cups of coffee a day is going to be healthy* if You don't add sugar to it and make sure the last coffee is at least 5 hours before You go to sleep.

@Clayman His advice about compound movements is good, linear periodization is fine too, but too much isolation from what I see ABS is half of the workout. You could look at Jason Blaha's 5x5 Novice Program, I recommended it to 11 total begginners and they're doing amazing on it, I don't even have to re-adjust the progression. He has a video explaining everything in details and a FAQ. Heavy compound lifting is the way to go really, especially as a novice, whether You want to be a bodybuilder, powerlifter or even get benefits as an endurance athlete. They are arguably the best stimulus for muscular hypertrophy and strength gains, they save You time, teach You good movement patterns if You perform them correctly. Pretty much 90% of my workouts are heavy compounds and the rest is isolation exercises for lagging body parts. I see no benefit in doing curls or crunches when I can as well do pendlay rows and deadlifts, get done more in a shorter session, which doesn't mean isolation exercices don't have their place - they're just highly overrated and overemphasized IMO. @qt "The China Study" is a book based off of a single study, which is by the way a fancy correlation study based on cherrypicking data and making up claims that don't have any value & have been debunked by the actual evidence. I would not reccomend it to anyone, the information in this book is very skewed to say at least. http://rawfoodsos.com/2010/07/07/the-china-study-fact-or-fallac/ https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/the-china-study-revisited/ http://anthonycolpo.com/forks-over-knives-the-latest-vegan-nonsense-dissected-debunked-and-destroyed/ http://www.westonaprice.org/health-topics/abcs-of-nutrition/the-china-study-myth/

@Coach Vito Congratulations on reaching new PR - no matter if its 120 or 650 pounds. Progress always feels amazing. Keep up the good work! Like Lao Tzu said: "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." I salute You.

@Jackthelad It's kinda offtopic, but relates to the question about multiple orgasms in men. It is a book from a PhD, Barbara Keesling - How to Drive Women Wild and Make Sex All Night Pretty interesting, even though it really takes lot of effort to build up to the point of reaching the climax without ejaculation. The quick summary of the book is to workout Your pubococcygeus muscle very frequently and contract it when You're reaching the climax. I didn't like the end effect - Well, I liked the effect, but didn't like how hard it is to obtain in addition to frustrating half-ejaculations while You're trying to get there. The whole another story is this method does nothing to me, since I find myself being able to ejaculate fully for 2-3 times and still be aroused, and remain hard without stopping for a second, so I'll save that method for later, when I get older maybe. My post from RSD forum about masturbation:

I really wonder what's better if I have one hour each day reserved for meditation. I've been meditating every single day (Do Nothing method) since 29.12.2015 for one hour before sleep. Some sessions feel just amazing in these last 30 minutes and sometimes it's hard as hell, I become deconcentrated and frustrated. So pretty much normal balance. I'm just curious if meditating for the same overall amount of time, but split up between two session, one in the morning, second in the evening would have more beneficial effect? I'm really just wondering.. What if meditation is like caffeine and has a half-life of 4-6 hours? What I mean is we know (do we?) that meditating is about long term benefits, slowly building momentum, but I can't deny that I do get short term boost in.. Being present & conscious for about few hours after meditating session.

@Arik Respect, man! @Zotikos Thank You for your insight & advice. The main reason I ended up between splitting sessions or maintaining one, longer, is that they affect me quite diffferently. The longest session of meditation, was btw. the hardcore version of not moving at all also and it was 96 minutes. My position was very uncomfortable from the beggining, but somehow I did go through it. After quite some time the unbearable pain in my legs was still present but from a distance, like I was aware of it, acknowledged it and that's it. Done nothing about it. There was no I, just pure nothingness. The bliss, peace, awareness and WOAH that was coming through me were unexplainable and undefinable. That was the hardest, but also the best meditating session I've experienced so far. The moment of pushing certain barrier during meditation is so rewarding. I will experiment with different frequency, but I think at the end, I might stay with one hour, but I'm going to place it in the morning instead of doing it right before sleep. Thank You, guys!

I am using Intermittent Fasting with 3-4 hours eating window, placed after workout, so I've been eating one meal a day for about 2 years now. I find it the easiest way to stick to my eating habit, manage & count macronutrients and.. Goddamn I hate to eat throughout the day, my ability to focus is really affected by that. I also have a huge apetite and what lowering meal frequency does to me is it lowers my apetite through having impact on hormones such as ghrelin (associated with hunger) and leptin (associated with satiety). I just feel better and energized throughout the day, I get done much more. IF is the way to go for diabetes and insulin resistant individuals, including obese people, as it elevates insulin sensitivity. What guys who are concerned about building muscle should know is that the recent study suggests that limited frequency of aminoacid ingestion is not optimal for maximal muscle-protein-synthesis levels. The estimated difference between regularly spaced out protein in the day and irregular intake was ~25% more/less MPS. The LeanGains protocol from Martin Berkham, the most popular IF protocol out there includes BCAAs ingestion throughout the fasting phase, so guys who do leangains shouldn't worry about it. It doesn't mean You, won't build muscle. It simply means it might be not optimal for that goal. I don't care about maximizing hypertophy at a cost of harder to sustain eating pattern (for me) and I'm in it over the long haul, so that's fine to be "not optimal" At the end of the day, the best diet is the one You can stick to.

@Clayman No, I haven't read any book from him. I saw one or two of his vlogs and the guy seems to be up to date, but as I said - Can't estimate whether his products are legit or not. I wouldn't spend money on training programs, for a simple reason that the best programs (Like Stronglifts, Texas Method, Mad Cows & many more) that've been working for thousands of athletes for many years are out there for free. Don't fix it if it ain't broken. I might look at some of the books about nutrition if he has any and let You know.

The text below does not belong to me and is originally posted on http://www.intense-workout.com/cravings.html For some it may promote unhealthy relationship with food, for others is a very useful tool in achieving diet goals, so take that into perspective. Leo used it in one of his videos and from that moment I've been going back to it every time I happen to be on the edge of breaking my eating habit or just want to boost my motivation. It does help me when I think that: “Sticking To My Diet Is Too Hard” SHUT UP!!!! Who the hell are you to whine to me? Shut up already!! Sure, I can completely understand if your problems with getting the results you want are from the wrong information about your workout or diet. I’ve been there before. I used to do the wrong stuff. But after I finally learned what works, I created this website to help others avoid the same problems I used to have. I want to save you time, money and effort by giving you free honest information about how to get the results you want. But, this isn’t about your diet or workout. This isn’t about you wasting money on some useless ab workout machine or stupid weight loss product or other useless supplements and gimmicks that weren’t working for you. This is about food cravings. Don’t whine to me. I’ve heard it before… “It’s so hard, I’m around this type of food all the time, the cravings just won’t go away, I have a sweet tooth, I just have to give in to the cravings.” Stop it, you’re boring me. Don’t give me your little stories. Like how you are around this type of food all the time. Do you think you are the only one, buddy? Everyone I know and am related to eats junk food all day long. This crappy food is everywhere I look. I am no different than you, except, I don’t give in. Do I have super human powers? No. Do I not give in because my arms are bigger than yours? No. Do I not give in because I can bench press more than you? No. Do I not give in because my body fat is lower than yours? No. Do I not give in because I am physically better or physically stronger than you? No. I don’t give in because… I Am Mentally Stronger Than You That’s all it is really, mental. And for you to give in and me not to give in, we can only assume that I am mentally stronger than you. How does that make you feel? I don’t know a damn thing about you, but I know that mentally, I can do something that you cannot. It sure makes me feel good though. That fact puts a smile on my face every single day. So, thanks for being so mentally weak. It will make me work that much harder during my next workout. Thanks a lot. Sorry, did I hurt your feelings yet? I didn’t mean to, I’m just stating the truth. It’s not my fault if the truth hurts. You understand now that this is all mental, right? You understand that it’s all a matter of mental strength and will power, don’t you? Good. Here’s what you do. Next time your little food cravings start coming out, think about this. Look at the food and think, “What do I want more… the 5 seconds of enjoyment that I will have while I chew this food, or the enjoyment of the fact that 24 hours of every day, 7 days of every week, I will have the body that I want to have.” That is what it comes down to really, and let me tell you… no food tastes as good as that feeling feels. And you other people, you bullshitters. The ones that give me that speech about how “every food is okay if eaten in moderation.” And how “no one should deny themselves anything.” These are the same people who probably believe in having “cheat days.” Cheat days are the 1 day of the week where some people allow themselves to cheat a little from their diet and give into their food cravings, in moderation of course, kind of like a reward for the good work they did all week. You know what… BULLSHIT! The hell with you and your cheat days. Your reward for sticking to your diet all week is 1 day of cheating? What kind of crap is this? Your reward for sticking to your diet all week is RESULTS! Remember them? They’re the reason that you are on this diet and working out in the first place. To get results!!! Not to have a cheat day at the end of the week. Every food is okay as long as it’s eaten in moderation. One candy bar won’t hurt. One cookie won’t hurt. One piece of junk food won’t hurt. Maybe, but only if you CAN stop at one. If you can’t, then it WILL definitely hurt. That means that the cheat days and the idea of “giving into your food cravings in moderation” that supposedly helps us stick to our diets actually does the opposite for many of us. It makes people feel guilty. It makes people crave that food even more. It keeps the cravings alive and strong. Well, guess what? You are giving into your cravings for 5 seconds of chewing enjoyment, and nothing more. Stop giving in to those cravings and the cravings will go away. Simple as that. What are you thinking now? Who am I? Like I never cheat or give into my cravings a little? This isn’t about me, this is about you. And you appear to be someone who is unable to give in to sugar and junk food cravings in moderation and should therefore avoid it completely. The thought of eating some type of junk food needs to be removed from your mind in order for you to stick to your diet. You are the type of person who needs to realize that you don’t need or benefit from those 5 seconds. You need to become stronger than that. Eat For Purpose, Not Pleasure Call it will power, or call it mental strength. Your goal is to get results. Your road to getting those results doesn’t have to have 5 seconds of chewing pleasure. You need to eat for purpose, not pleasure. Food is not a hobby. Food is something your body needs to survive, and in the case of working out and getting results, food is something your body needs so that you can get those results. Food is nothing more than that. So, give your body only what it needs to make these results happen. Does your body need the 5 seconds it takes for you to chew a piece of chocolate? No. Does your mind need it? It shouldn’t. It should be stronger than that because the feeling of not needing it feels much better than any piece of chocolate would ever taste. Like I said, you need to eat for purpose, not pleasure. That statement sums up the solution to the problem many people have with “cheat days” and “food cravings” and “everything is okay if it’s eaten in moderation.” If you can make that type of mindset work, go for it. But if you can’t… then it will always be the downfall of your diet. So don’t whine to me about how hard it is for you. Do you think I will feel bad for you? I won’t. You are not special. It is exactly as hard for you as it is for me and EVERYONE else. What’s the difference? I have what it takes mentally. You know what else? You have it too. You just need to learn to use it. And, hopefully… this article has helped bring it out.