PepperBlossoms

I was starting to think about this and was wondering if it was accurate- Every Major Change Makes Things Worse

i've noticed how everytime i deliberately implement a major change of my choice, there is massive regret and sadness and guilt. but then i feel regret, sadness, and guilt for the new choice as well. i just want peace

when I was driving, I was at a stop sign. Cars were parked on the road and I could not see well. I did not see any cars coming so I made a left turn. At that moment, there was a car on the left and right side of me that somehow dodged me. I should have crashed. Another time I was driving and going too fast and the road was bad and my car started weaving left and right and cars were coming at me and I didn't get hit.

there is a book with this similar title... funny

For those of you who claim to have actually experienced being "awoken" or "Absolute God" and seen the "infinity" of everything, the peak of consciousness capability, the entire universe/past/future/every possible reality, infinite imagination, what does it actually look like, feel like, seem like? If you could describe it.... Did your sense of self expand to get larger and what was the transition to and from that like? If there is no limit to the edge of reality, did you keep on expanding/contracting forever? Did things keep shapeshifting forever? Did you change anything about existence when you were in that state or did you just observe? How did you know you were actually God or did you just see it as no self and just as images/sensations/mind creating things and mind getting to say what is happening?

@_Archangel_ What has been your experience with it? What kind of evil? And how do they burn themselves?

wouldn't an infinite state of all knowing and all being be hellish because there would be nothing new to learn or create? so the only way to not have that is to have it where we only know and see what is infront of us/our past and to have a finite experience? the thing people seek (all knowledge) is actually better off not known but they don't know that I guess its just that if you knew you were God, how do you "know" you created all of existence and this experience? I can understand that in the left brain, the sense of self (I am) can get turned off and so then that could lead to the (I am god) but I don't understand the part about how we know we created all of everything in the entire existence of experience? I don't have any recollection of creating this room for instance. or how anything was created.

@Adrian colby I was thinking some more about this whole idea of finding metaphors and I feel like one could get infinitely creative in their interpretations.... in terms of this forum it could be like: like the whole jesus casting out demons and healing the sick could have been jesus casting out delusions and showing deeper truths...? jesus rising to the father being more like jesus experiencing oneness. jesus being a born without a father being more like there is no father/god of the universe; its just always been

Was it just that there is no self and that everything is being imagined?

its just pure insanity cuz person A - yoga/meditation/lgbtq is demonic. person B - everything is made up, the mind is king. you don't want to expose yourself to danger so you keep on learning more and more perspectives and don't want to hurt others (or self) and its like okay can I do yoga or not, can I do abc or not, and then its like, okay let me go learn more and more and more to see what I can and cannot do and then you think... a monkey doesn't read a single thing neither does a cat... so why am I... well the monkey and the cat don't know how... and its like... I wish I was never introduced to religion theories in the first place and it would be so much easier to live but maybe life is hard regardless as there are millions of things that can be hard so if we aren't saying A is hard, we are saying B is hard. point the finger at whatever and say whatever about it.

What's your take on near death experiences and out of body experiences where people report going to hell or interacting with Jesus? What's your take on consciousness in terms of the left side of the brain being responsible for language (words), time (past/present/future), sense of self (I am), etc. and the right side of the brain is responsible for shapes, kinesthetic movement, etc. (or the hippocampus being related to memory) in terms of psychedelic trips and if that experience of no time or sense of self or memory is just a function of part of certain parts of the brain being shut off from the drug and not how reality works versus no it actually is how reality works at the ultimate level? I was also thinking about how if I was God making everything up myself, it would be quite odd how I don't actually know how I am doing it? Or what about this?

I guess like with the solipism idea ppl are talking about, if its all just a big mind dream, then the person could be dreaming they died, then experience floating above the body and see things, then experience going back in the body and check and see that it checks out what they saw during the "nde" but if its all ultimately a dream we/I/this could be making it up such that the experience of double checking that what happened while dead "actually happened", we in our ultimate dream make it so that it does appear verified because we dream it so I feel like this religion/existence talk can and does make people go crazy because its a never ending search of what is and I've kinda felt crazy and so much anxiety over wanting to "know" and every source has a different opinion on what is true and yet they all contradict each other but its just insanity and then its like why do I care so much but maybe its cuz I am giving it my attention and could just go do something else and there are all these viewpoints that yell "danger and listen to me to prevent you from having danger" but in the end we die anyway (or do we)... and words are just hilarious

I think maybe there is both where we love going to experience as other states of consciousness but also we love being in our body and experiencing those around us and this experience as a human. But also where we hate the other states of consciousness and also hate our human life. So it kinda goes back and forth and in phases. good point on the seeing vishnu if that is what one thinks of. or seeing a friend. or seeing clowns. or seeing a forest. or whatever one sees. I've had interesting visuals of hurricanes and elephants and trees and birds. I was thinking the same thing that a NDE could be like a dream because in the end, the person wakes up anyway.. but there are reports where the person was able to say things that happened or that they saw that they wouldn't have otherwise been able to know if they were really asleep.. but they could still go to imaginary or real worlds (or if real and imaginary are the same then okay that which is) there was a theme where the person didn't feel pain and was hovering over their body and moving at light speed but then eventually getting stuffed back into the body and feeling heavy and painful and so that opens the door for the idea that we are spirits but who knows what is really going on.. or if there is anything to know..

ah thanks everyone x1000. I have come to the conclusion: the universe is infinitely more intelligent than me and probably has infinite teachings to provide (even if I am part of or the universe too or whatever) It could be that the demon stuff does exist like y'all and the videos say and is part of the infinite intelligence of the universe. People see demons maybe because they are unaware of their own evil nature and may even use the demon stuff for evil and then it may bite them in the butt.. but the universe does that as a mirror/karma/learning thing. One may then switch over to worshipping bible Jesus as these people in the videos did because they associated bible Jesus with love and seeing that they wanted to create and embody more love and thus the demons no longer had any power. But there can be shadow sides to this as well that they could potentially realize and so one may eventually drop the bible Jesus and move on to more things to be aware of, realize, notice; more shadows to work on; more things to learn/experience/consider. @_Archangel_ It sounds fascinating that that stuff (maybe) actually exists but also scary that it can cause evil or that one would want to use it for that. People in the videos I watched mentioned that the demons would be able to go into their body or others would have access to their body when they gave permission (such as when they left their body for astral projection and a demon could go in) or that they could go spy on people with astral projection... @Salvijus I guess the world is pretty dangerous with or without that stuff. Your sarcasm was helpful because I was getting pulled in/super scared about this stuff and death/(bible hell)/how reality worked till my bf started to refuse my thinking and so your rejection helped me to reject this one way of thinking and to go away from that fear that the videos had. I watched these near death experience videos of where people say they hell and I started to get scared about reality and if we all needed to be jesus lovers but then have to think that maybe those people were seeing that as a shadow side that they have their own evil that they need to stop doing. and it doesn't make sense to go to hell for infinity for something we didn't realize or hadn't had the opportunity to fully learn to grow out of doing with the finite lifespan as a human. @Adrian colby I feel like there will maybe be infinitely "hidden" knowledge but yet some claim that at the god level all is known I just don't know how one gets there (unconscious, unseen, not experienced, etc.) it is interesting that maybe all these different spirits/gods/energies/abilities are known by the occult more so than the religious and what else could possibly be known that I have no idea about (but maybe I don't even care to know or want to know because it seems the more I read about, the more I wish I didn't read). I totally agree on that anything can affect me if I believe it is real and that the mind is super powerful. As far as all the powers of the mind and knowing what those could be... or even caring... I guess for me, I find learning new things fascinating but then yet these extra powers like telekinesis or magic or whatever.. I don't want to get involved with. I guess one thing I found weird was that one video had where someone said as part of being a psychic, a demon/spirit would go in the psychic and tell them about the other person and then follow that person home and make those things happen and that sounds scary.... or it sounds scary that people could put a curse on me or astrally project and spy on me.. stuff like that. If it is real. but then people would say that they would rely on prayers and it would make the demons go away and I just don't understand how that works either but I guess if this is literally ALL IN THE MIND anything is possible.

This place has a weirdness like that place. That place has a normalcy like this place. The back and forth is frustrating but also super fascinating to experience these different experiences, perspectives. It seems there are always things that we are all missing that we don't know until we have experienced them. The infinitude of learning may go on for infinity and it is both frustrating but also exciting. The universe seems infinitely intelligent and maybe the anger you are feeling is what you need to learn that you need to be okay with things happening slower because there is no hurry up and learn everything and things just take time and the learning never stops so its a marathon not a sprint. but the process can be super fascinating. People will reply with whatever they think will help or however they interpret it and what helped them or they are focusing on.

So if solipism is the case, then all of y'all including myself are in my dream and I will awaken from this experience to realize it was all a dream. But I do not have an experience of having awoken from this and so IF solipism is how reality works, I have not experienced awakening because I only have direct memory of having woken up from dreams as this person. So because I do not have direct experience, I have to keep it in the column of being a religion. MLK's I had a dream; my community college - "What is Your Dream?" Aristotle - studied dreams; Inception - dream within dream; Shutter Island - realize the patient was you; psychological thriller/twist movies I would be sad if all of y'all are fake as I enjoy having others to be with and get lonely if I am by myself.

A year ago I was considering lots of perspectives about reality and would try to fully take them on to see what they were like (skepticism/open-mindedness?). I eventually ended up studying ghosts/exorcisms/christianity and had myself thinking it was possible again (yes y'all were warning me but nothing y'all said was good enough for what I needed to prove me wrong). It wasn't till I came across a list of biblical contradictions on quora randomly like a week ago and saw that A and B contradict each other and both can't be true and that that happened hundreds of times that I allowed myself to say the faith is bullshit, which is what I thought before when I was on here. I looked into books and read All That's Wrong with the Bible: Contradictions, Absurdities, and More. Turns out that is what I needed. Now I am back to - I can't say what happens in any notion of afterlife/other realms but I can speak on this earth and that the human eats the deer eats the rabbit eats the bugs eats the human; the snake "eats it own tail"; everything destroys/creates everything; when we take one perspective, we blind ourselves to another perspective; the love of one thing coexists with the hate of another thing; imaginary and real blend together even skepticism and science is flawed based on whatever assumptions/explanations one makes this was all said but I am just like having to revisit it after what I just went through. I was having hardcore anger about christianity the past few days so going back to this has helped calm me down. My hardcore christian friends that really pushed me down that path though didn't change at all when I sent them the information about the contradictions and refuse skepticism and either its all about the devil and hell or its "I just have hope" or "god spoke to me (but that person is schizophrenic but they were also the ones that told me about the possession thing they saw so I believed it.. but who knows)". One thing I did take away - Christians have the attitude - You might as well believe because just in case it is true, you don't want to go to hell, otherwise you have nothing to lose; (My aunt said that to me). I then realized that maybe she had nothing to lose because she was an old white lady who couldn't get pregnant and already had all the money she needed and wasn't gay but lots of people (women who need jobs for money, women who may get pregnant and need an abortion/contraceptives, gays, minorities, other religions) all have freedoms to lose. one should have the attitude of hoping the faith is false so that gays, women, slaves, minorities, other religions, etc. can be treated well and look for every reason the to find any possible hole that the faith could be false instead of just being lazy and saying, the devil is giving you doubt and that there are no biblical contradictions and that the gays/everyone should be screwed. one should have hesitations about making laws that take away freedom of religion/speech/gays/women's rights/minorities/animals/abortions/etc. and not want to and should be super happy when they find holes in the faith instead of just being satisfied that they believe what they believe and screw everyone else... (I saw last night that the speaker of the house of reps in the us is anti-gay... : ( It was also weird how my psychology professor has been teaching us about skepticism and how you have to question everything and yet she wears a cross necklace... My weird christian thoughts I had though: whenever anything bad happened to atheist person or they a got upset or injured, I assumed it was the devil or god punishing them. I came across a book called The Jesus Hoax: How St. Paul's Cabal Fooled the World For Two Thousand Years and it had a theory for how the bible was made up to lead to the weakening and eventual collapse of the roman empire... something like rome was pretty powerful because of its knowledge/technology and the bible would weaken the integrity of rationality. I need to look into the roman empire collapse some more and other theories for why the bible could have been made up. or not bother but it's kinda interesting but I also just get angry about religion. I guess I need to just have the "I don't know what is going on and may never know". Then goes into the wonder if Christianity is part of the decline of the american empire and that the american empire will fall like rome where it had a massive military, christian take-over (roman catholic church), and money problems. but everything that falls eventually gets turned into something else.

What does it mean when the person you are with has 2 different faces? Like literally, sometimes their face is A and sometimes it is B and it is like it is 2 completely different people. The face for A looks nothing like the face for B. Has anyone else experienced this? Do you know why it happens? Like it morphs

jumping from paradigm to paradigm quite frequently and having that change your preferences, context battle with hypocritical thinking and actions unsure of what to think or do or prioritize about anything focus on love more than anything else and how to be more loving how to listen to intuition and inner voice or is it even trustworthy how to make sense of reality, who to trust, can i even trust myself, what the heck is even going on

I have been recently exploring the Jesus paradigm and now have the following comparison: In the non-duality/science/atheist/spiritual paradigm, the focus is on this world and doing things to make it better while exploring it. In the Jesus paradigm, the idea is that we are not of this world and we are to go on to another world at death (Heaven/Hell). In both paradigms, the physical is temporary and is either completely abandoned (Jesus) or is shapeshifted out of existence into something else (Non-duality). In the non-dual paradigm, focus is on future generations, animals, plants, evolution, climate change, etc. because the self is thought to experience all of that now and later forever and ever. The Jesus paradigm doesn't care about that as much and it is more accepting and living for God first and being as loving as possible and getting as many people to love and believe in God so that they don't go to Hell. Proof for the Jesus paradigm are successful exorcisms, that exorcists even exist, ghosts, spirits, angels, haunted places, that demons and non-believers hate Jesus stuff, that evil exists, people that get possessed, having prayers answered and getting more power through god, etc. Proof for the non-dual paradigm is just basically that everything is connected and there is no way to draw a dividing line between anything. The paradigm one selects hugely impacts the context they live for their life and how they view their job, what they talk about, etc. Does anyone have anything they want to add?

...it's not all real ._. unless the moral of the story is everything is real, imagination is real, imagination is all there is

I thought about it and y'all are right. Religion is fake.